Church and Discomfort?

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Carlyy

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Before I moved to where I am now, the church I went to felt warm, inviting, and fun. I have many good memories at that church. But when I went to church to where I live now, I felt very… uncomfortable. Like everyone was judging me. I felt like I went there just to not sin… the only part when I got “excited” was when I went up to eat the bread and drink the wine. I’m not sure if I should find a church that’s more active and fun, I’ve only gone to this church once. I’ve gone to the other church multiple times because of how amazing it was.
please help me

thank you
-Carlyy
 
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Hi, @Carlyy:

Like you, I’ve felt isolated in big parishes. It’s hard to adjust.
For me as a solo RCIA Catholic, it’s been difficult. If you look
in the bulletin, you can find many ministries to join, as well
as discussion, prayer, and study groups. You might consider
attending a women’s retreat and working with a spiritual
director. The church is community.

I think we always have to ask ourselves why we are going
to Mass. Is it for the music? The lively homilies? For fun?
For excitement?

Meditating on the Passion of our Lord is a one way to refocus
our priorities.

We’re all on a spiritual journey. God bless you.
 
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*I went to this new church a month ago, after I got my confession. Even after my confession I felt very guilty and something didn’t seem right. I felt like I’ve sinned and had to calm myself down, I don’t know if it was because I couldn’t believe my sins had been forgiven. I tried to ask what kind of prayers I should do for my sins, like Mother Mary (because in my old church when I did my first confession, I was given a list of prayers I should do), all the priest said was to go to church, and stuff like “you should pray to God in the morning, night, and afternoon” I was confused, because he didn’t answer my question. And when I confessed something he repeated it as if he was in shock but he didn’t show it very much, like a 1/100 I only noticed he did it once I got home and thought “Did he judge me? I thought they weren’t supposed to do that?”
My life at home is what makes me sin so much- family. They can be fun to hang out with and all but sometimes I wish I would just move out. I’m a weird person- and sometimes my brother questions that, he asks a lot of questions. Even for the most simplest things- which is what makes me not reply to him. Like the answer is obvious but he asks for no reason Sorry if this comes off as rude, hopefully you understand what I’m feeling and judges me for what I do. He gets annoyed if my dog licks my hand… like, what? My mother can overreact to things a lot but is still a nice mother 80% of the time. My father is alright…
Last month my mother was making me feel really horrible and I sat in my room, trying to calm myself down. She was being to strict and yelled at simple things.
I used to cry at a lot of the things she said but as time went on I got used to it.

I told myself “This month will be over soon… don’t worry… February will be better,” and yes, it has been a better month. I’ve been really wanting to go see a Catholic therapist but I don’t know how to tell my mother.
 
@Carlyy:

I suggest you make an appointment with your priest. You can discuss your misgivings about confession. Then, when you make your confession, you will have more time to ask him about your penance.

I promise you, priests don’t judge penitents. They, too, go to confession. Even the Holy Father goes to confession. Acting in the person of Christ, a priest absolves you. And I’ve heard many priests say that they don’t remember confessions.

For me, it’s a beautiful experience.

I strongly recommend that you read “Story of a Soul,” the memoir of St. Thérèse of Lisieux.
 
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Feelings are only one part of the puzzle. I think they are worth recognizing, but the issue here is that you are getting self-absorbed.

There’s no harm in going to different Masses. It’s great that the Catholic religion accommodates so many people and is truly catholic which means universal, comprehensive in tastes, having broad sympathies.

Also, remember the bread and wine have been transformed into the Eucharist.
 
Carlyy said:
Before I moved to where I am now, the church I went to felt warm, inviting, and fun. I have many good memories at that church. But when I went to church to where I live now, I felt very… uncomfortable. Like everyone was judging me. I felt like I went there just to not sin… the only part when I got “excited” was when I went up to eat the bread and drink the wine.
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Is this a Catholic Church, are you Catholic?
 
Carlyy said:
I went up to eat the bread and drink the wine.
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The Eucharist. It is the body and blood of Christ.

Unless you weren’t at a Catholic Church (although your profile says you are Catholic).
 
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And I definitely second the reading of Story of A Soul by St. Therese!!!
 
The church was used for many religions, including Catholic, so yes to both of your questions.
 
A Catholic Church is usually a dedicated Catholic Church. Were you attending a Catholic Church Service is probably a better question 🙂
It sounds quite strange that this church is used for many religions. This might be the confusing point for us to understand
 
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Whoops 😅 so basically,
where I used to live (the old church) was used for many religions, including Catholic. At the time I lived there I was attending Catholic Church Service. I had my first communion and first confession there, if that helps. It sounds confusing haha

Where I live now (the new church) is used just for Catholic service.
 
Carlyy said:
you should pray to God in the morning, night, and afternoon
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That’s part of our duty as Christians no matter what. Sometimes people take this as punishment but actually it is not. Christ told us to pray CONSTANTLY. Priests remind us of this sometimes in Confession. Even the canon of prayer (prayers required) are still only to make us pray daily.
With Baptism and Chrismation we receive a lot of gifts but also responsibilities. In early Christianity people (St. John Chrysosthom, St. Basil, St. Gregory) were baptized as adults once they felt ready to do fulfill all duties.
Lately we are baptized as babies and in EO we are also Chrismated as babies, in RCC Chrismation is later on but still very young, and together with all these Sacraments comes spiritual help and responsibilities.
Many baptized no practicing Christians feel stressed and unhappy all their lives without knowing why. One reason is because by not practicing we are breaking God’s rules in the Church. A lot of stress is relieved once we fulfill our duties.
You exaggerate methinks. Just pray as often as the priest said and forget about what you think he may have thought of you, it does not matter.
 
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Where I live now (the new church) is used just for Catholic service.
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@Carlyy:

Catholics refer to a “service” as Mass. Is there a reason you don’t use the word “Mass”?

@Carlyy
Oh! The only reason was because I didn’t even think about using that word.
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A Roman Catholic would use the word “Mass.” An Eastern Rite or Orthodox Christian would say “Divine Liturgy.” Protestants use “service.” I’ve never once heard a Roman Catholic say “I’m going to a service.” Catholics say, “I’m going to Mass.”

I have to ask, are you a Catholic?
 
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Oh! The only reason was because I didn’t even think about using that word.
 
Carlyy, The Eucharist is not bread and wine if we are Catholic. The Eucharist is the Real Presence, that is the Body and Blood, Soul and Divinity of Jesus Christ. I cannot speak for what other religions believe though.

The Eucharist is Being Itself. Jesus Christ, God.
 
Carlyy said:
I’m not sure if I should find a church that’s more active and fun, I’ve only gone to this church once.
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I wouldn’t seek out a parish that is active and fun but rather one that will help you grow in your faith and the truths of the Church.

Hoping you went to the new parish again today, as it is hard to judge a parish based on one visit.
 
Go there anyway. If those around you are not displaying the three primary Christian virtues, and since words fail, teach them by your example.

As well, it is good to remind ourselves that bearing an injustice with patience is a spiritual work of mercy.
 
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