Church bars severely autistic boy from mass...

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Redtown,

Please do not confuse mental illness and demonic possession.

Even the Gospels are clear about the difference between demonaics and epileptics.

But your post just gets back to my point that it’s ultimately a failure of this priest.
 
I have an adult, autistic daughter. In many ways, she is high functioning, but not in others. Sometimes she becomes aggressive, and it absolutely cannot be predicted. She’s lightning fast and strong. She has never harmed me or my grown son, because we’re faster and stronger and can forstall harm. My wife and adult daughters are no match for her in either category. Certainly children are not. It is as if my daughter is just “not there” when those outbreaks occur. When they’re over, she acts perfectly normally. But the injury is sustained nevertheless.

I don’t know whether the autistic young man is that way. Autism is a very broad continuum and simply knowing a person is autistic does not tell very much about him or her. But if a 225 lb man is EVER subject to the kinds of episodes to which my 120 lb daughter is subject, I would say I do not blame the priest in any way. She can hurt a person seriously in just an instant, and with no warning whatever.
 
SEBASTIANMARTIN said:
My son is autistic and sometime I keep him home from things when he is having a rough day. It is not good for him or those around him to be in public on a difficult day. I think the idea of a dispensation for fulfilling sunday obligation on a week is worth trying. The lesser amount of people could help an autistic kid from going into sensory overload, a common cause of meltdowns or rages.
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Very good advice. Friends of ours have a child with autism that we care for on a rotating schedule when needed. He is still small enough to handle his problems. Also he is high functioning so this makes it easier to accommodate his needs.

When a child with autism becomes an adolescent with autism the situation can become dangerous for all involved. My heart breaks for these families and the children. My prayers go out for a cure and better treatment for those that suffer with this problem.

Going into sensory overload is a major problem. Placing the child in these situations does not help him cope. It might make the situation worse because it might raise the childs anxiety levels for the next visit.
 
GodsGadfly said:
But your post just gets back to my point that it’s ultimately a failure of this priest.
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While I will acknowledge that the entire situation is heartbreaking for all concerned, I must disagree with you in your blaming the Priest. I believe that perhaps, due to your own situation, you are expressing a rather bias view. The Priest is merely attempting to take care of the other parishioners. As the article said, he attempted to work with the family of the young man but the parents would not work with him. I feel badly for the boy and his parents, but certainly you as a rational human being can understand that the Priest MUST care for every parishioner. It sounds as though the court order was a last resort and used only after other options had been tried or suggested and had failed. The parents apparently, see nothing wrong with sitting on their child and/or tying him up so they know and understand the threat here and yet they see it as satisfactory. I will admit that I do not know much about the medical disorder involved here, but if this type of behavior (on the part of the parents) occurred in my presence, I would feel very obligated to get family services involved.
 
Tietjen,

I was being half-facetious in my most recent comment. But it’s a question of how the priest tried to deal with it. Was he dealing with them with compassion? Was he coming regularly to their home to provide spiritual assistance? In short, was he being a pastor?

Or were his “attempts” merely to the extent of saying, “Your son is a problem at church”?

Don’t get me wrong; I’m finding fault with both sides here. But I’ve known very few priests who really, proactively try to assist disabled parishioners–and many who do everything they can to ignore us.
 
If they are going to bar him from the mass they best be prepared to bring him communion every Sunday. Otherwise they are denying him his right to the sacraments. After all the condition of autism is not a sin to bar one from the eucharist.
 
goofyjim said:
If they are going to bar him from the mass they best be prepared to bring him communion every Sunday. Otherwise they are denying him his right to the sacraments. After all the condition of autism is not a sin to bar one from the eucharist.
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The taking of a consecrated HOST to the home for the young man is a matter that only his spiritual adviser can determine. When, in my limited experience, a child with autism is in the hight of an anxiety episode I would question the ability to receive.

My mother had a stroke and there are times that receiving is not possible. When she is having a real bad day she could spit the host out not want to swallow. In this case we ask for a blessing and see if she is able to receive next time.
 
If this young man was regularly violent then the restraining order was proper. I have a step son who is autistic and fairly highly functional…in the past I’ve worked with an autistic young man who was usually quite sweet and gentle, but certain things could set him off…rain in particular aggitated him. Then he could be quite violent.

It all depends on what kinds of accomadations the Church offered.
 
If he cannot participate he should;d not be there.
I get a bit perturbed when people or children talk out during mass.
If the boy can sit still then create a special mass just for him and others like him.
When I was a Muslim I was so angry at the women that let their children run free and pester us women who didn’t have kids. Pulling on our hair and clothes. Its not fair to us.

I agree it should have been delt w/differently; but its not fair for the congregation with his disturbances.

IMHO
 
I have no problem with reasonable vocal disturbances, especially from Children. I don’t believe in the use of cry rooms except for the immediate need of settling a child or changing a diaper…otherwise the kids should be in the sanctuary too…the issue here is the level of disturbance and the safety of all involved.
 
I would be curiouse to hear what parisheners have to say. It seems like he said she said. There is a teenage boy with moderate autism at our church who is occasionally dissruptive. When people realize he is autistic they have compassion for the boy. I used to work with mentally handicapped adults and found most people commpassionate and kind. In many of our outings the workers at the stores loved seeing us come in and often opened up registers for us. I remeber on a trip to the ER with my sis who has severe DS and is occasionally violent the nurse complimented the residents of where I worked and how much she liked helping them when on occasion they had to come in for something. So if people find this boys behavior disturbing I would lean toward the priests side of the story. I am sure he had a difficult time makeing this decision.
 
We had a similar circumstance in my parish. A parishioner took a job caring for adults(one on one) with mental disabilities, and would take them to Mass. This one guy came to Mass and became violent, kicking a little girl. Our pastor put an end to it.

Eventually, the patient put the parishioner himself in the hospital, with a concussion.

Sometimes people who try hard at being do gooders, ended up doing more harm than good.

Christianity calls us to be compassionate, not stupid.

Jim
 
goofyjim said:
If they are going to bar him from the mass they best be prepared to bring him communion every Sunday. Otherwise they are denying him his right to the sacraments. After all the condition of autism is not a sin to bar one from the eucharist.
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no it is not, and the “rest of the story” on other outlets describes all the efforts the parish has made to accommodate this boy’s needs, which have all been rejected by the parents. It is a sad fact that some (not all or not even most) severely affected autistics are unable to receive due to behavorial (ie spitting out) or physical issues (ie strong gag reflex) it has to be an individual assessment, and can change over time as the child’s condition improves or worsens. there is such a wide range of effects of autism that it is pointless to compare treatment of one child with another and make a general statement that applies to all.

some reason we have multiple threads on this story?
 
We had a similar circumstance in my parish. A parishioner took a job caring for adults(one on one) with mental disabilities, and would take them to Mass. This one guy he took to Mass would get up and stomp around and become violent. Finally, he kicked a little girl and the father was ready to defend his child with violence. Our pastor put an end to it and told the parishioner not to bring this man to Mass again.

Eventually, the patient put the parishioner himself in the hospital, with a concussion.

Sometimes people who try hard at being do-gooders, ended up doing more harm than good.

Christianity calls us to be compassionate, not foolish.

Jim
 
petitfleur said:
I used to work with mentally handicapped adults and found most people commpassionate and kind.
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I had similar experiences when I was working with a scout troop where all the members were mentally handicapped. But we did have situations where people were pretty unforgiving. People are very forgiving when the can tell just by looking at someone that they have these issues. Like with people that have Down Syndrome or other issues where it is obvious. But when people have mental handicaps and people can’t tell, they are not so forgiving. We had a “kid” (actual age was over 18, but still was considered a kid) that was extremely autistic but just looking at him you couldn’t tell anything was wrong. When we just had him in public people were very unforgiving of any outbursts. Luckily he never did anything dangerous to others.
 
I used to work retail and a woman would sometimes come in with her autistic son. He was incommunicative and would constantly self stimulate by waving his hands in front of his face.
One day he got very agitated because I was straightening up a section of the store where he was. His mother had to take him out.
 
When my son and I attend Mass…I am attentive to any ‘storrms’ brewing…we set on the end and I wouldn’t allow him to disrupt Mass no more than I would if he were a toddler. When he goes for communion I am right beside him alert to his receiving…he receives on the tongue and is probably more respectful than some normal folks I’ve seen…I worked with him to get him to this point and others have also…I don’t know why this church did this or perhaps there is a misunderstanding with the parents…On the news a spokesman for the autistic society says there is a meeting called with the Bishop …I hope this is worked out these parents sound like good people…

I wonder how many of you folks would handle this…it hurts you know…I remember teaching my son to exchange the Peace and someone turning away from his tentative outstretched hand…he looked at me with tears in his eyes…not understanding …so I tried to explain as best I could…it hurt me too…people can be cruel.

I am reminded of an article by Erma Bombeck…
God says,
“I will allow them to see the things I do…ignorance , cruelty and prejudice and rise above it”

This is the way I try and look at it anyway:shrug:
 
Aimee It sounds like you do a good job for your son and are sensitive to the people around you. I have been around Mentally Handicapped people my whole life and not all familys are as thoughtful for others as you are. Most are but not all. Its one thing to make noises but completely another when they get phisical with others. Perhaps this boys bhavior lies somewhere in the middle of the two opposing stories at any rate you cant have someone phisically agressive in such close proximity to other people. I know I watch my sister like a hawk when out with others(she has been known to randomly punc people:eek: )
 
Redtown said:
“….Adam struck a child during mass, nearly knocks elderly parishioners over…, spits and sometimes urinates in church and fights when he is being restrained. He also… assaulted a girl by pulling her onto his lap and….There were people… who could have been injured or killed…”

Adam’s parents call his banning from the church “discriminatory”. You bet it is. There’s such a thing as RATIONAL discrimination.

*"Some disability advocates are getting behind the Races,” *just going to show that there’s no end to Political Correctness, all public safety and common sense be damned.
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I heard this story first on Fox News tonight and didn’t hear what he did. The Fox News corespondent priest they had on said that this was going on for 11 months. The parish priest and the diocese had to do this for the parents refused other options they were given by them.
 
GodsGadfly said:
  1. A restraining order is about the most un-pastoral thing this priest could have done. I wonder how many times he’s visited these people at their home? Back where I used to live, there was a man with Down’s syndrome who came to mass every day. He served at the altar during daily masses and some Sundays. He was treated very kindly by several pastors in a row. He would do odd jobs around the parish, and had keys to the whole parish.
He made some of the Charismatics uncomfortable, since they were afraid of “catching what he had,” but most of the parish loved him. Then a more liberal pastor came along who kept up the same routine but routinely ridiculed the poor man.

The next pastor was extremely uncomfortable with him, as were the nuns. They stopped letting him serve at Mass. They took away the various roles he’d held at church. Of course, being denied the role he’d so long enjoyed made him angry, so then they said they were “afraid” of him.

They took away his keys. He fell into a deep depression and died.
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Thanks so much for your entire post, but especially this. What you have described is intolerable and unacceptable, and grievous to the Lord.

Too many times people justify excluding or ridiculing some of these people with brain disorders because they are “dangerous”, when in fact, the “danger” is in their own mind.

The mother denies her son is violent and dangerous, and says the priest is misinterpreting autistic behavior, and asks for accommodations that she says were not honored by the priest.

I think there is more than one side to this story. I don’t know if the boy is dangerous, or whether or not Mass is something he enjoys (as his mother claims) but I have a hard time believing that it had to come to this. I think both sides could have worked together for a better solution.
 
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