Church dress: Varying attitudes?

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Charles_In_CdA

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I was watching an address this morning from yesterday’s session of LDS General Conference. (I am LDS but wish to be ex-LDS, but that’s another story for another thread). One of the speakers talked about the Sabbath Day in a portion of his address. He made a comment that “our youth may think that the phrase ‘Sunday Best’ is out of date. Still we know that when Sunday dress deteriorates to everyday attire, attitudes and actions follow”. It may be my 17 years of programming in the church, as I always wear a suit to church and would feel severely underdressed without a shirt and tie at least. However I know that traditions and practices vary from Catholic, Episcopal (which I attended for a short time)/Lutheran/other Protestants, and other Evangelical churches. How does everybody feel and why?
 
Charles_In_CdA said:
I was watching an address this morning from yesterday’s session of LDS General Conference. (I am LDS but wish to be ex-LDS, but that’s another story for another thread). One of the speakers talked about the Sabbath Day in a portion of his address. He made a comment that “our youth may think that the phrase ‘Sunday Best’ is out of date. Still we know that when Sunday dress deteriorates to everyday attire, attitudes and actions follow”. It may be my 17 years of programming in the church, as I always wear a suit to church and would feel severely underdressed without a shirt and tie at least. However I know that traditions and practices vary from Catholic, Episcopal (which I attended for a short time)/Lutheran/other Protestants, and other Evangelical churches. How does everybody feel and why?
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I agree with you, and feel that we should dress differently on Sundays than we do during the week. I never wear jeans. Usually I wear a dress or skirt and blouse, or dress pants and blouse, with nice shoes. My husband usually wears khakis and a polo, or khakis or dress pants with a shirt and sometimes tie. I just think that since Christ is truly present in the Eucharist, we should dress respectfully and modestly. If I was going to meet the Holy Father, I wouldn’t wear jeans and a t-shirt. So I wouldn’t wear that to Mass.

But at our parish, dress varies widely. I see suits and ties and also sweat suits and basketball shorts. So I know others have different opinions, I’m just offering mine 🙂

However, when we were members at a non-denominational church, jeans and t shirt, etc, were the order of the day. That was an exceptionally casual church, so much so that you would probably get strange looks if you came in wearing a suit. My sister in law even wore (I’m sure still wears) tiny shorts, which I’ve always thought is crossing the line.
 
My church has a much more come as you are mentality. People wear what they are comfortable wearing to church. So that ranges from suits and dresses with some of the adults to jeans and t-shirts with the youth.
 
I believe we should dress in a manner that is:
a) Neat and modest; that is, clothing that shows respect for God’s House and doesn’t look as though we just rolled out of bed and threw on the first things we could grab. (I REALLY don’t want to open the “definition of modest” can of worms; I think that should be left for another thread).
b) Not intentionally distracting for other worshipers (though if you accidentally over/under-dress, just make a mental note for next time and forget about it for the duration of the service/Mass).
c) Above all, I think the most important thing to wear is the humble, quiet confidence that comes from being secure in God’s love for us!
With those two cents duly deposited:
Also, I pray God will give you guidance and courage on your journey, and that He will fill you with the Holy Spirit as you seek to follow His call.

Peace and Grace,
Joy
 
People at my parish generally dress nicely for church. Some wear suits & ties, but the vast majority of men wear slacks & shirts - no ties. Some also wear jeans.

I care about what I wear to church, but not about what someone else is wearing, for fear that I’d be judging them. Maybe the woman next to me in the ripped jeans & t-shirt is coming to mass for the first time in 10 years. What do I care what she is wearing? I’m just happy she’s there. Clothes are expensive & not everyone can afford a suit. That’s my opinion.

I find it interesting that THIS was actually part of today’s reading at mass:

But the LORD said to Samuel:
“Do not judge from his appearance or from his lofty stature,
because I have rejected him.
Not as man sees does God see,
because man sees the appearance
but the LORD looks into the heart.”
 
Charles,

As a devout Catholic who is former LDS, I say welcome!

I want you to know I know the difficulties there are in disengaging from the LDS church; you are in my prayers that the Lord will help guide you thru the path that you need to go, and not that others deem you must go thru.

Back to the topic.
Yes when I was LDS “Sunday best” was my norm as well.
These days, I may not be “Sunday best”, but I am clean, and dressed modestly. (IE I dont feel that I must wear a skirt or dress)

I think of the more humble orders who wear habits and want I take away is that, being clothed in the right attitude (humble) is more important that what one is wearing on the outside.

But being immodest or extra casual (I dont do the jeans either at Mass) can also demonstrate a lack of reverence. But there is a caution to that. I know some in my parish who really are poor and they dont have work clothes vs non-work clothes altneratives. All they own is a small wardrobe.

But they are always clean and neat in appearance even if they are in their jeans.

One must always becareful not to judge strictly by what their eyes see and remember that God sees the heart.

God Bless and welcome to CAF.
 
As long as the clothing is modest then I consider it acceptable. I try to wear slightly nice clothes to church, but I don’t hold anyone to that expectation. The idea of “Sunday Best” is relatively new compared to the age of the church, and people who hold to it tend to forget that having a wide variety of outfits and clothing styles simply wasn’t an option unless you happened to be incredibly wealthy.
 
PatrickSebast said:
As long as the clothing is modest then I consider it acceptable. I try to wear slightly nice clothes to church, but I don’t hold anyone to that expectation. The idea of “Sunday Best” is relatively new compared to the age of the church, and people who hold to it tend to forget that having a wide variety of outfits and clothing styles simply wasn’t an option unless you happened to be incredibly wealthy.
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Well said and great reminder, Patrick.
Thanks for reminding us of the historical view of what the faithful had available to them.
 
My home parish is very lax: only the older members dress up. I admit, I generally dress in jeans, but I usually wear my nicest jeans, a nice pair of shoes, and a nice shirt or sweater - and this makes me seem formal in comparison. I generally walk to Mass, so I try to wear something that is comfortable walking a moderately long distance and looks decent. However, I have recently been going to another parish (where I have fallen in love with the liturgy, although it could use more Latin - says the Latin major :)), where everyone dresses nicely. I have not yet seen a pair of shorts or jeans other than my own at that parish! I do want to dress nicely (tie, dress shirt & pants, black leather shoes), but my dress clothes are old, fit poorly, and are generally uncomfortable because of those factors. I would rather pay attention during the Mass and look laid-back than be uncomfortable, unable to focus, but look formal.
 
anp1215 said:
I agree with you, and feel that we should dress differently on Sundays than we do during the week. I never wear jeans. Usually I wear a dress or skirt and blouse, or dress pants and blouse, with nice shoes. My husband usually wears khakis and a polo, or khakis or dress pants with a shirt and sometimes tie. I just think that since Christ is truly present in the Eucharist, we should dress respectfully and modestly. If I was going to meet the Holy Father, I wouldn’t wear jeans and a t-shirt. So I wouldn’t wear that to Mass.

But at our parish, dress varies widely. I see suits and ties and also sweat suits and basketball shorts. So I know others have different opinions, I’m just offering mine 🙂

However, when we were members at a non-denominational church, jeans and t shirt, etc, were the order of the day. That was an exceptionally casual church, so much so that you would probably get strange looks if you came in wearing a suit. My sister in law even wore (I’m sure still wears) tiny shorts, which I’ve always thought is crossing the line.
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I think every church bulletin should have a front page notice on it – in Capital Letters – “GOD WILL BE HERE NEXT SUNDAY. HE WANTS TO SPEAK WITH EACH OF YOU PERSONALLY.” How do you suppose we would dress for the occasion? Too bad we need to remind people whom they are visiting with when they come to Mass, but such is the case. The priest shouldn’t have to tell adults that God is not just their beach buddy. And Catholics receiving Communion should be in awe and want to make God welcome under the best of conditions. But that’s a thing that dreams are made of. It’s not reality. Maybe some day we’ll return to our senses and give God the respect due Him.
 
Waiting said:
I think every church bulletin should have a front page notice on it – in Capital Letters – “GOD WILL BE HERE NEXT SUNDAY. HE WANTS TO SPEAK WITH EACH OF YOU PERSONALLY.” How do you suppose we would dress for the occasion? Too bad we need to remind people whom they are visiting with when they come to Mass, but such is the case. The priest shouldn’t have to tell adults that God is not just their beach buddy. And Catholics receiving Communion should be in awe and want to make God welcome under the best of conditions. But that’s a thing that dreams are made of. It’s not reality. Maybe some day we’ll return to our senses and give God the respect due Him.
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Honestly?

I work on a farm. I would feel just as comfortable talking with My Lord in my work clothes as I would in the clothes I go to Mass with. He of all people, understands the hard work and sweat of those who labor in their fields.

In fact, I would love to walk our fields next to My Lord. In fact, I do just that. 👍
I know He doesn’t get all caught up into the formalities of life. He didn’t with the Pharisees.

Infact, He called fishermen amongst others to be His disciples. And working around fish is a very stinky proposition. Literally.
 
yellowbird said:
I care about what I wear to church, but not about what someone else is wearing, for fear that I’d be judging them. Maybe the woman next to me in the ripped jeans & t-shirt is coming to mass for the first time in 10 years. What do I care what she is wearing? I’m just happy she’s there. Clothes are expensive & not everyone can afford a suit. That’s my opinion.

I find it interesting that THIS was actually part of today’s reading at mass:

But the LORD said to Samuel:
“Do not judge from his appearance or from his lofty stature,
because I have rejected him.
Not as man sees does God see,
because man sees the appearance
but the LORD looks into the heart.”
Click to expand...
Ok that is a REALLY great sentiment that I think I will be mindful of. Not that I did judge appearances at church but I have in other things and I have to be VERY careful to keep that in the forefront of my mind so I don’t slip into it.

And Marie and Joy, thank you for the kind words and prayers. It will be a LONG journey!
 
My attitude varies. Sometimes I want to dress nicely and look my best for God. Sometimes I want to dress comfortably and feel at home and comfortable with God. Either way, dressing down doesn’t necessarily mean a disrespect for God or the church. Although there has to be a limit. Showing up in sweats and hole-y jeans and ratty tshirts is crossing the line.
 
Marie5890 said:
Honestly?

I work on a farm. I would feel just as comfortable talking with My Lord in my work clothes as I would in the clothes I go to Mass with. He of all people, understands the hard work and sweat of those who labor in their fields.

In fact, I would love to walk our fields next to My Lord. In fact, I do just that. 👍
I know He doesn’t get all caught up into the formalities of life. He didn’t with the Pharisees.

Infact, He called fishermen amongst others to be His disciples. And working around fish is a very stinky proposition. Literally.
Click to expand...
Somewhat similar to my own view. Yes, God is indeed a VIP, and we need to be mindful of that when participating in the Eucharist.

However, to the people who say ‘what would you wear to meet the President or the Queen? You should dress like that for church’ I say the following:

a) the President and the Queen are human beings, prone to the human frailty of judging based on appearances. Wearing nice clothing to meet them is a concession to this human frailty, from which God does not suffer
b ) I’m sure the beloved children of the President and the Queen usually dress down for family meals. And we are all beloved children of God. I can’t see Sasha, Malia, Prince Charles or Princess Anne wearing Sunday best for a strictly family lunch - I mean who’s there to impress? The corgis?
 
GeorgeTheWild said:
My church has a much more come as you are mentality. People wear what they are comfortable wearing to church. So that ranges from suits and dresses with some of the adults to jeans and t-shirts with the youth.
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Yeah, my old church was like this, especially in summer. I dunno where I stand personally, on one hand I attended church to be before and talk to God, not being distracted by anyone, but at the same time I honestly believed that God wanted to see what’s in our hearts, not what we’re wearing.

My position now seems to gravitate more towards smart-dressing. I wouldn’t go to meet the Queen dressed in jeans and my Led Zep t-shirt, so why do I wish to do this for God?
 
I try to dress modestly for church but I wouldn’t say I necessarily dress differently from any other day. There are certain things I own I wouldn’t wear to church just because they don’t seem appropriate but I don’t really own any ‘smart’ clothes I could wear.
 
The Meeting I attend has no “dress code” per se. Friends are encouraged to dress simply, modestly and comfortable. Most males dress in loose fitting pants and comfortable shirt…many of the women wear longer skirts and plain blouses…while we use to dress “distinctively” in “Quaker grey” and black…most of us do not any longer.

We are asked to dress in such a way as to not cause any attention to ourselves. Plain and simple is best. Comfortable is a good idea…sitting still for an hour or so can be uncomfortable with restictive clothing…

In the summers…some Friends wear shorts and t-shirts to early morning Meeting…where it is less formal…some Friends remove their shoes as they come into Meeting…some of the ladies and elderly gentlemen will bring a “lap blanket” in the winter months as the Meeting room isn’t heated fully in the early morning Meeting for worship.
 
I am one of “those people” who determine that since we are going to worship the Creator of ourselves, as well as the entire universe, we should dress accordingly. Too many Catholics have come to think of The Holy One as their “buddy”.
I have seen shorts and tank tops and no bras, etc., ad nauseum, added to loud shouting and visiting before and after the Mass and talking on and on during The Consecration. One disrespect leads to another…
EVERY person who goes to meet God should be respectful in dress and manner. That means dressing to the best of his/her ability. I’ve seen shorts and tanks on university professors so I know they have access to better clothes!
Due to all of the above observations and more not mentioned, I now attend only Mass in EF and encounter absoluely none of the above.
If it bothers you, think about it. :cool:
 
catsrus said:
I am one of “those people” who determine that since we are going to worship the Creator of ourselves, as well as the entire universe, we should dress accordingly. Too many Catholics have come to think of The Holy One as their “buddy”.
I have seen shorts and tank tops and no bras, etc., ad nauseum, added to loud shouting and visiting before and after the Mass and talking on and on during The Consecration. One disrespect leads to another…
EVERY person who goes to meet God should be respectful in dress and manner. That means dressing to the best of his/her ability. I’ve seen shorts and tanks on university professors so I know they have access to better clothes!
Due to all of the above observations and more not mentioned, I now attend only Mass in EF and encounter absoluely none of the above.
If it bothers you, think about it. :cool:
Click to expand...
What is the ‘best’ of one’s ability, though? Is it the most expensive? Is it the most formal by cultural standards (white tie and tails for evening/morning coat for morning in the U.S.)?
 
Charles_In_CdA said:
It may be my 17 years of programming in the church, as I always wear a suit to church and would feel severely underdressed without a shirt and tie at least. However I know that traditions and practices vary from Catholic, Episcopal (which I attended for a short time)/Lutheran/other Protestants, and other Evangelical churches. How does everybody feel and why?*
Click to expand...
I dress up for Church. I have felt that it honors God to see that I have presented my very best to Him. I’ve heard the arguments that it shouldn’t matter what you wear to church but that you are there. And I’ve heard the arguments that it isn’t a fashion show and dressing up is a sign of vanity.

But I feel if I dress nice for work, dress down for play, shouldn’t I dress appropriately for church?

Getting teenagers to dress for church is a whole different thread. :ouch:
 
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