Church just shamed its congregants publically

  • Thread starter Thread starter katpants
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

katpants

Guest
Our church just posted a chart with different donations from other parishes. Our parish is in the poorer part of town so I am not surprised donations are going down…

I am surprised they circled how little they got per member and wrote a rather snide remark.

Can they even do that?

Kat
 
That seems rather imprudent to circle and print a remark. This kind of thing is the reason why my father quit attending mass when I was ten. The pastor made a remark about how people didn’t give enough money and they needed to double their amount the following Sunday. Every time anything about church comes up my father’s first remark is “All they want is money.”
 
This doesn’t sound like a wise move. Growing up I was always taught it was vulgar to talk about peoples money.
 
When I was a child, the pastor of our Basilica published the weekly donations in the following week’s bulletin.

There would be categories of $1-$5, $6-$10, etc.

At the end was a “thank you for helping to build our parish” or similar.
 
When a pastor lacks tact it is good to pray for him. Or, if so moved, to politely explain that the way he expressed himself was not helpful.
 
Heck there was a small exodus at a friend’s parish due to things like that. Luckily most went to another Catholic parish instead of another denomination.
 
I remember as a child that once a year in our parish a booklet was printed that had the amount of everyone’s contributions in it. In the 50’s this was not unusual. But it did serve as a source of gossip.
 
CB_Catholic said:
I remember as a child that once a year in our parish a booklet was printed that had the amount of everyone’s contributions in it. In the 50’s this was not unusual. But it did serve as a source of gossip.
Click to expand...
I think if they had spent on a little less time on gossip and a little more on Gospel, they wouldn’t have publicized each person’s contributions.
 
“…and the sign said, ‘Everybody welcome, come in, kneel down, and pray.’ But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all, I didn’t have a penny to pay. So I got me a pen and a paper, and I made up my own little sign. It said, ‘Thank you Lord for thinking about me, I’m alive and doing fine…’”
 
Indigo_Cardinal said:
“…and the sign said, ‘Everybody welcome, come in, kneel down, and pray.’ But when they passed around the plate at the end of it all, I didn’t have a penny to pay. So I got me a pen and a paper, and I made up my own little sign. It said, ‘Thank you Lord for thinking about me, I’m alive and doing fine…’”
Click to expand...
😃 👍
 
katpants said:
Our church just posted a chart with different donations from other parishes. Our parish is in the poorer part of town so I am not surprised donations are going down…

I am surprised they circled how little they got per member and wrote a rather snide remark.

Can they even do that?

Kat
Click to expand...
Maybe the priest doesn’t know.
  1. Let the priest know. Or the secretary. Ring or write an email.
Then take things from there.

It is gravely sinful to publicly shame others (with intention to do so).
 
CB_Catholic said:
I remember as a child that once a year in our parish a booklet was printed that had the amount of everyone’s contributions in it. In the 50’s this was not unusual. But it did serve as a source of gossip.
Click to expand...
Our parish did that too when I was a kid in the 60’s. My mother was a single parent (with no child support from her previous husband who of course would be my Father) and she dreaded that day for she was always near the bottom of the list.

She felt ashamed and there was so much outcry by this practice eventually they stopped doing so; probably 1971.

Mary.
 
CB_Catholic said:
I remember as a child that once a year in our parish a booklet was printed that had the amount of everyone’s contributions in it. In the 50’s this was not unusual. But it did serve as a source of gossip.
Click to expand...
My husband said they did something similar at his childhood parish - names & amounts were posted by the door. His family was very poor - his mother was mortified by the small amount she could give. I’m surprised people stayed Catholic.

About 10 years ago my sister-in-law’s pastor tried to shame her into giving more. He came to her house, ate her food, then said she couldn’t come to Mass until she started paying more. She went to a different parish after that.
 
The bulletin on New Year’s Day had every family listed and then to the penny, the amount given the previous year. There were pages and pages of names with $0.00 next to their names.

This was from the 1920s through the 60s.

So I was a kid in the 50s and 60s and we HAD to turn in our donation envelopes every Sunday, even if we had no money to give. This was so the teacher could see if we went to church on Sunday or not. I was set to turn mine in one Sunday during the regular collection and mom grabbed it out of my hand and would NOT allow me to give an empty envelope.

I was sick, for sure, knowing that old Miss O’Connor would find out that I didn’t go to church.

I knew it was going to be a bad Monday.

It was.

The most I could ever give was ten cents. There were a few families in the parish who were pretty well off and their kids would usually give about a buck each Sunday. That was impossible for my siblings and I. We sure were given Hades each week for not giving what someone else thought we should give. It was embarrassing each week to hear how much your classmates put in the envelope.
 
I empathize with those who don’the have the money as there have been times in my life I haven’t had anything to give.

I also empathize with the priest though. As the responsible party for the parish I am sure he must be experiencing a high level of frustration to reach that level. I hope the parish is moved to more fully financially support their community.
 
I don’t know how it is in your diocese, but in mine the pastors are under an awful lot of pressure by the archbishop to collect so much $$ for each collection. It seems that to be kept as a pastor around here, you really have to have good financial sense and the personality of a salesperson sometimes!

Still, I don’t think singling people out and shaming them is the best way to handle things. However, it’s possible that your pastor was just doing what he was told to do.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top