My gut feeling is yes, Joseph would have felt fine fulfilling all his duties as a husband, including the conjugal act. It has been mentioned a couple of times that there is something somehow unclean or defiling about the natural way of conceiving and bearing children, but I don’t see how that’s possible in the context of the marriage relationship, which is blessed by God.
Mary was only legally married to Joseph who served as a guardian to both her and Jesus. Morally she belonged to God by whom she conceived a child together with him. We read in Scripture that Joseph was betrothed to Mary. This meant that the two were already legally married in an initial stage. Mary was regarded as belonging exclusively to Joseph her husband, and so it was absolutely forbidden that any other man should not only touch her, but also not even approach her with a proposal. The Hebrew word for betrothed is
kiddush which is derived from
kadash meaning “holy”, “consecrated” and “set apart”; as Israel is described in her marital relationship with God. When the angel Gabriel was sent to Mary to convey the divine proposal, it is unlikely that God would have approached Mary unless she and her husband had intended to arrange a celibate marriage. If they had intended to have children of their own, then God, in keeping with the principles of his own divine law, would have sent the angel Gabriel to Joseph first, as any Jewish man would have been required to do out of moral obligation when expressing his interest in another man’s wife and desire to marry her pending a file for divorce. However, since Mary and Joseph had no plan to consummate their marriage, which was more a legal arrangement of guardianship, the angel Gabriel appeared first to Mary with the good news.
When the angel Gabriel eventually spoke to Joseph in a dream on account of Mary being with child in spite of their betrothal, it was to reassure him that his wife had not been unfaithful, but that the child she carried was conceived by the Holy Spirit. Until then Joseph could have filed for a divorce on the grounds of his wife’s supposed promiscuity. In fact, he had the right to publicly condemn her and even have her stoned for committing adultery (Deut 22:22-29). But upon the angel’s visit, the table had turned. Joseph would have questioned whether he had any lawful right to go through with the marriage ceremony now that Mary had conceived a child by another person. After all, he was a just man who who would have faithfully observed the Mosaic law (Mt 1:14). The angel relieved Joseph’s fear when he instructed him to take Mary to his home as his lawful wife, but not to normally co-habit with her: *paralambano gunaika *(Mt 1:20-21). There was no need for the angel to tell Joseph that he shouldn’t fear “to come together” (
bo e-lei-ha imma) or “lay with” (
vai-yish-kav imma) Mary (cf. Gen 30:3, 16-17), since the two had never intended to have conjugal relations. If they had, then God wouldn’t have sent the angel Gabriel to Mary with his proposal, at least not first to her. It was no coincidence that the angel appeared to a woman who was a virgin and asserted that she had “no relations with a man” (Lk 1:34) when she was told by him that she would conceive a child some time in the future.
And the angel said to her in reply, "The Holy Spirit will come upon you, and the power of the Most High will overshadow you; therefore also the holy child to be born shall be called the Son of God."
*Luke 1, 35 *
God conducted himself to Mary as a husband to his wife, and as a groom to his bride no less honourably as he had to Israel. The exclusive relationship that the virgin Mary had with God since she was a young girl was consummated the moment she conceived Jesus by the power of the Holy Spirit, whose spouse she had fully become at the Annunciation. In her own person as a type of daughter Zion, Mary was declared “holy”, “consecrated” and “set apart” for God the moment she pronounced her
fiat (Lk 1:38). The angel told Mary that she would be overshadowed by the power of the Most High. In ancient Jewish culture, a man’s laying power over a woman (
resuth) was a euphemism for having marital relations. Similarly, for a man to overshadow a woman or spread his cloak or wing over her was a euphemism for his having conjugal relations with her in the sacred bond of matrimony. Ruth intended to have conjugal relations with her lord Boaz when she replied: “I am your handmaid Ruth. Spread the corner of your cloak over me, for you are my next of kin” (Ruth 3:9). The word “cloak” (
tallith), literally “wing” (
kannaph) is derived from the word
tellal, meaning “shadow”. The relationship between God and Mary was a marital one just like the relationship between God and Israel was (Ezek 16:8; Lk 13:34). So morally Mary belonged exclusively to God, which I’m sure Joseph would have understood as a devout Jew. He wouldn’t have touched Mary after the birth of Jesus even if he had originally intended to. Nor would God have violated Mary’s chastity and dishonoured her human dignity by merely using her body to produce a Son for him in the flesh. What was done to Mary through her free consent was “according to [his] word.”
PAX
