Civil marriage and Confession?

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chesterton

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I am a Catholic but my wife has no religon.We were married in a civil cermony.We have two children aged 4 and 10.I haven’t been to confession for years…can I go to confession under my curcimstances? I want to return to the church for my childrens sake
 
Will they say I’m living in sin because I’m not married in the church? To be honest I want to go to confession to be a good example to my 10 year old.
 
Yes. All you list are excellent reasons for going to confession.
 
The confessional is not the place to ask the question…meet with the priest first and follow his advice, part of which will probably include confession.
 
It sounds as though you are trying to raise your children Catholic. That is good. God appreciates your good intentions. You should talk to a priest, who will likely advise you to have your marriage blessed by the Church. There are a couple of ways that you can do this. Whether or not you can confess and be absolved before doing this, I cannot answer. That is a question for your pastor.
 
If that’s the case there’s a lot of people living in sin. I feel like with all the rules of the Church I am starting to wonder if there’s really anyone in heaven haha
 
We have to work for our salvation. Faith is not meant to be passive. Rules are good. They are useful for raising children and are pleasing to God. “Do your own thing” allows for deviating from rules that are meant to help us and which are good for us.
 
Did u ever think there werent alot of people living in sin?
Jesus said many are called. But few are chosen.
 
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Why dont you want to be married “in the Church”?

Why go to confession and withhold sin?
 
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If we simply want to “go to Church” to be uplifted, then that is a good result.

Its best to go to Church and receive His Word and Eucharist in a right place with our Father, and then experience the joy that His goodness brings.

Its a challenge. And its not the confessing that is the more difficult, or observing the laws, but daily turning away from sin.

Going to the table of Mass, and hoping that He lifts us up to turn from wrong is a Holy Hope!
 
Come to me, all you who labor and are burdened, and I will give you rest.

Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am meek and humble of heart; and you will find rest for yourselves. For my yoke is easy, and my burden light.

 
chesterton said:
Will they say I’m living in sin because I’m not married in the church? To be honest I want to go to confession to be a good example to my 10 year old.
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If you were Catholic at the time you contracted marriage outside the Church and without a dispensation, then the Church does not recognize you as married. This is because Catholics are bound by both civil and Church law and are thereby required to marry in the Church or to receive a dispensation to be married outside the Church. As such any sexual relations with your legal wife would be an act of fornication. You will need to speak to the priest, but if you go to confession while in an invalid marriage without intent to rectify the situation then any absolution is invalid. You cannot withhold a sin or not have an intent to amend and still be absolved.

I mention the above not as a condemnation, but rather to explain that your situation will likely require more than just confession.

It is good that you want to be a good example to you son. Part of that will be to follow all the teachings of the Church… including her teachings on marriage and morality. Going to confession is certainly an important part, but it won’t help him to follow that example if you also don’t set an example on how to live a holy life in all it’s aspects. Being a good example is noble, but you should want to live a holy life for your own sake, and more importantly out of love for God.

The first step is to meet with your pastor and explain the situation. Based on your specific circumstances, he can walk you through what is required to set things straight.
 
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I was involved with teaching RCIA classes for 10 years. Believe me that it was quite common for people to need to validate marriages prior to joining the church. My point isn’t about RCIA but that it’s not something that your priest hasn’t heard before over and over and over. You cannot receive any sacraments until you get with your priest and get to confession. No reason to be nervous about it either. Your priest will be so happy to see/talk with you. 🙂

God Bless you. It’s a wonderful thing that you want to do.
 
Excellent post and advice!

For anyone in this type of situation, i would NOT ONLY advise going to the priest, but study Church Teaching ALONG WITH seeking spiritual direction through a pastor.

I say this because we need to know in any way we are able to know. We should want to do what is right even if a pastor isnt giving the best direction.

Especially because we arent seeking a pastors favor, but the Lord’s blessing
 
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Seems pointless goinging to confession then considering my situation.I only got interested in my religon when my son made his first confession.I want to take him to chruch each sunday and get holy communion but it seems from what I’ve read this is not possible.He can go up and get it but his daddy can’t.
 
Step one is to stop engaging in sexual relations with this woman. Step two is to actually get married. Then you can take part in the Sacraments.

Unfortunately, this woman is not your wife and thus neither of you has the right to have sexual relations.
 
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Thats your choice. Our beliefs have consequences. If you really want Communion with Jesus, you will follow His ways.

We dont know what you need to confess, except what u told us. The advice is correct, to convalidate your marriage, while having remorse for abusing your priestly privileges.

It is our own priestly consecration which confers the Sacrament on each other.

Are you concerned because your wife is not Catholic??? Is she Christian? You can still seek a dispensation, i believe.

Edit: i just went back to your post again. Your wife “has no religion”. This is a tuff spot you are in. You cannot have a Sacrament marriage with a non-Christian. But i think there can be a dispensation still, somehow.

1 Corinthians 7
“Husband, how do you know you will save your wife?”
St. Paul
 
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