Cohabitation Situation

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What if it is a room mate type situation; separate beds and NO relations of any kind what so ever, trust me that was a must.
I let my fiance move in because he was being forced out of his place and being a small business owner, couldn’t afford much of anything else, plus he has a dog and not too many places take his breed. I rationalize my decision saying that we’re engaged and planning a wedding soon.
 
Consult with a priest as soon as you can.

I would say that you should do all you can to avoid the appearance of scandal, and if its ever possible, for your fiancee to move out as soon as he can.
 
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For Catholics, especially young children? This most definitley could lead to scandal

SCANDAL

Definition

Any action or its omission, not necessarily sinful in itself, that is likely to induce another to do something morally wrong. Direct scandal, also called diabolical, has the deliberate intention to induce another to sin. In indirect scandal a person does something that he or she forsees will at least likely lead another to commit sin, but this is rather tolerated than positively desired. (Etym. Latin scandalum, stumbling block.)
 
As you describe it, not a sin but you open yourselves to temptation. Take care.
Also, yes, talk to your priest.
 
I think the look of scandal from cohabitation has pretty much “left the building”…Our pastor said it is “highly unusual” for a couple to come to him for the sacrament of marriage that are not living together. And I do not think they are all chaste. In my extended family all five of my nieces lived with their boyfriends before marrying. And three where married in the Catholic Church. In my own family two of the four of us lived with boyfriends/girlfriend before marriage. All married in the church.

My own girls did not live with their boyfriends before getting married in the church and neither did I, but like I said it was unusual.

I am not saying it is not wrong, I am just saying the “look of scandal” isn’t what it used to be. And sharing an apartment without sexual relations is not a sin.
 
If you’re honestly not having sex with the person, and this is a short-term arrangement between two engaged people who are already on their way to the altar, then I don’t see a big issue here.

All this "appearance of scandal’ business is pretty much out the window in a society where the vast majority of couples live together before marriage and society no longer bats an eye. Just focus on getting married as quick as you can and maybe if possible sleep in separate rooms to avoid temptation.
 
There is no need for them to share details of their private life. Unless the young people in question are either their own children or very close immediate family, it is none of their business either, and I am not sure how they would even find out about living arrangements unless they were living with the couple. I met many engaged couples in my family as a child and had no idea (and no interest) in where they were living or whether they were living together or apart.
 
The scandal should not be in relation with the world with its slipping morality but in terms with Catholic truth.

Speak with your priest about it.
 
Consult with your pastor.

There can be times when taking someone into your home is an act of charity. Your pastor will still need to help counsel you so that you aren’t proceeding with marriage out of obligation/living situation but are freely choosing it.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
All this "appearance of scandal’ business is pretty much out the window in a society where the vast majority of couples live together before marriage and society no longer bats an eye. Just focus on getting married as quick as you can and maybe if possible sleep in separate rooms to avoid temptation.
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That doesn’t make it okay. The fact that the vast majority of couples live together before marriage, with society not batting an eye, just shows how much society has deteriorated and needs strict guidance from the Church.

I thought Catholics were supposed to be better than that. I thought in a crazy world, we were supposed to set an example. Would Christ have condoned that? None of us knows, but I highly doubt it. Making a home together is for married couples, not “intending to marry” couples.

Maybe she could loan him some money, or he could get a loan, or live with relatives.
 
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The OP is stating that she is not planning to commit sins with this man, that they are engaged and planning a wedding, and that this is a short-term situation for economic reasons.

The whole “appearance of scandal” thing was concerned with the public image of the Church. These days, there is less concern because no one takes notice of living arrangements. The concern should be for the people’s personal morality only.

Assuming, once again, that young children do not live with them, the only person I would be worried about “appearing” to in this situation would be the pastor at whose church the upcoming wedding is happening, because if he is concerned about the couple’s morals or living situation, this could cause an issue with the wedding plans.

I do think that it’s a bit of an error in judgment to throw these types of living situations out for the group to approve or disapprove because in making it public, you are basically inviting large numbers of people who otherwise would be completely unaware of this situation which is not their business, to come in and pass judgment. As far as I’m concerned, this is between the couple, their priest, anyone else living in their living space especially any children, and that’s it. It is not an issue for the neighbors, the other parishioners, or strangers on the internet to deal with.
 
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Tis_Bearself said:
The OP is stating that she is not planning to commit sins with this man, that they are engaged and planning a wedding, and that this is a short-term situation for economic reasons.
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Plans can go awry, especially when people involved in a romantic relationship are living and sleeping under the same roof. And it sets a terrible example for younger people, whether they engage in intimate relations or not. I honestly have never met one priest who would condone such a situation. It IS scandalous.
 
This is your business, only. Don’t invite others to comment on your private situation. You have done nothing wrong, and you know your own heart.
 
1ke said:
Your pastor will still need to help counsel you so that you aren’t proceeding with marriage out of obligation/living situation but are freely choosing it.
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I don’t think a pastor’s counsel is necessary for this. Most people can figure this out on their own.
 
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