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tablecorner
Guest
i don’t like small talking to women too, in my mind, women get small talked and chatted up all the time. So i don’t go there.
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BigBoom
Guest
I hate small talk as well. It’s talking for the sake of talking. Unfortunately, it’s completely mandatory it seems. I just can’t bring myself to do it.
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redcatholic
Guest
You know, the forums are just small talk with strangers right?
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RolandThompsonGunner
Guest
I don’t mean this as any kind of insult, but are you on the autism spectrum at all? Do you suffer from any kind of social anxiety? This may be something you could talk through with a professional, because the inability to engage in casual conversation is going to be an issue in life.
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BigBoom
Guest
I’m a high functioning autistic person, yes. Upon meeting me, you probably wouldn’t realize there’s anything wrong with me at all. I can make small talk, I just hate it. Most people talk because they enjoy the act of talking. It doesn’t matter who they’re talking to or what they’re talking about, it’s simply the act of talking. I’m simply different in that when I talk, the subject being discussed is the most important aspect of it. I can talk about a subject I find interesting with absolutely anyone with ease.BigBoom:
I don’t mean this as any kind of insult, but are you on the autism spectrum at all? Do you suffer from any kind of social anxiety? This may be something you could talk through with a professional, because the inability to engage in casual conversation is going to be an issue in life.
For example, I was at a gathering many years ago, before I knew I was autistic, and I mentioned to a friend that I found a girl there pretty. He suggested I go and ask her where she works. I remember thinking that was such a dumb idea because the information would be irrelevant. Odds are, I’d never see her after that night anyway so I would have spent time and energy asking for information that would be completely useless in and of itself. My brain is weird.
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Peeps
Guest
There are many things that I hate doing, but I do them anyway because it is a way to show love and/or respect for others.
If it makes me feel uncomfortable, so much the better–this will remind me that I am not the only person in this world.
Small talk is a way to help most other people feel like you care enough for them to recognize them as a fellow human being, connect with them by nodding or saying “Good morning” in a friendly tone, and engage them in a little (a sentence or two) non-commital talk about a supposedly non-controversial subject (the weather, the latest restaurant in town, the Big Football Game, the upcoming holiday).
It’s certainly possible that the two of you will disagree about these supposely non-controversial subjects; e.g., you may LOVE the Big Snowstorm, while they HATE it! Or maybe they never go to restaurants, or they think football is too violent, or they don’t plan to celebrate the upcoming holiday.
That’s OK–it gives you an even better opportunity to validate their opinion and assure them through your respectful tone of voice and attitude that they are still a valued human being that deserves attention and respect.
Small talk is a “bridge” that can connect us with others. Most of the time, we step onto the bridge long enough to make that connection, and then we go back to our side of the bridge. But sometimes, we cross the bridge into more serious talk–and that’s good. I’m one of those people that you can cross the bridge and after a few words of small talk, immediately lead me into a serious conversation about subjects that possibly have eternal consequences–I’m fine with that.
But many people aren’t—they need to talk to you "on the bridge’ for a time until they trust you. That’s what small talk is.
For those who don’t live in the U.S., it’s usually considered insulting to utterly ignore someone. Even if you don’t engage in small talk, a smile, a nod of the head, a wave–these are non-verbal ways to recognize someone as a fellow human being and let them know that you are a friendly person who wishes them well.
If it makes me feel uncomfortable, so much the better–this will remind me that I am not the only person in this world.
Small talk is a way to help most other people feel like you care enough for them to recognize them as a fellow human being, connect with them by nodding or saying “Good morning” in a friendly tone, and engage them in a little (a sentence or two) non-commital talk about a supposedly non-controversial subject (the weather, the latest restaurant in town, the Big Football Game, the upcoming holiday).
It’s certainly possible that the two of you will disagree about these supposely non-controversial subjects; e.g., you may LOVE the Big Snowstorm, while they HATE it! Or maybe they never go to restaurants, or they think football is too violent, or they don’t plan to celebrate the upcoming holiday.
That’s OK–it gives you an even better opportunity to validate their opinion and assure them through your respectful tone of voice and attitude that they are still a valued human being that deserves attention and respect.
Small talk is a “bridge” that can connect us with others. Most of the time, we step onto the bridge long enough to make that connection, and then we go back to our side of the bridge. But sometimes, we cross the bridge into more serious talk–and that’s good. I’m one of those people that you can cross the bridge and after a few words of small talk, immediately lead me into a serious conversation about subjects that possibly have eternal consequences–I’m fine with that.
But many people aren’t—they need to talk to you "on the bridge’ for a time until they trust you. That’s what small talk is.
For those who don’t live in the U.S., it’s usually considered insulting to utterly ignore someone. Even if you don’t engage in small talk, a smile, a nod of the head, a wave–these are non-verbal ways to recognize someone as a fellow human being and let them know that you are a friendly person who wishes them well.
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