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iluvmybabies
Guest
I don’t know…My parent’s weren’t ready to be parents after my mother had a miscarriage but soon after she was pg with me…and then 3.5 years later with my sister, and 10 months later came my brother…and it wasn’t until 4 years later that the youngest was born…so I mean it’s still something to think about???
And after that my parents didn’t have any more children so maybe it might be…Just something to think about!If you strongly believe in the sacrifice that you need to make then may the Holy Spirit help you be strong during these trying times…
God bless.
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Feanaro_s_Wife
Guest
It is not about feeling “ready”.I don’t know…My parent’s weren’t ready to be parents after my mother had a miscarriage but soon after she was pg with me…and then 3.5 years later with my sister, and 10 months later came my brother…and it wasn’t until 4 years later that the youngest was born…so I mean it’s still something to think about???
If you strongly believe in the sacrifice that you need to make then may the Holy Spirit help you be strong during these trying times…
God bless.
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If you had a friend or sister who was really sick with the flu and was also scheduled for surgery the following month, would you advise her it might be time to have another baby at that moment?
Right now I am in survival mode. Hubby will be gone for another 6 months after Christmas. I don’t believe it would be prudent to give in to desire and face a possible pregnancy alone, caring for a 2 year old with sleep and sensory issues, not having my own illness under any kind of control (which is best done with adequate sleep) when I am not managing on my own NOW.
So, when i say we have reasons to avoid, I mean it. It is something hubby and I pray about often. We are very open to life. We wouldn’t be using NFP through so much difficult if we weren’t. **
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iluvmybabies
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I understand and believe me when I tell you I am sorry about the difficulty you are going through…I hope whatever decision you decide upon it will make you both happy, and may GOD bless!It is not about feeling “ready”.
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If you had a friend or sister who was really sick with the flu and was also scheduled for surgery the following month, would you advise her it might be time to have another baby at that moment?
I would tell her it was meant to be if she was pg…Or if she was planning on having sex with her hubby during her fertile period, I would tell her it was meant to be unless she just wanted to not do anything during that time then, in either case it’s her choice…I would just try to be there. If you know your health is in jeapordy or that you have to undergo some surgery or something then don’t do it. It’s a huge sacrifice yes and as I said before may the HOLY SPIRIT grant you the strength to do what you need to do, and if you do end up making love with your hubby may GOD give you the strength and ability to have a healthy pg and a healthy baby! If you don’t end up pg after making love with your hubby then it was not meant to be…**
Right now I am in survival mode. Hubby will be gone for another 6 months after Christmas. I don’t believe it would be prudent to give in to desire and face a possible pregnancy alone, caring for a 2 year old with sleep and sensory issues, not having my own illness under any kind of control (which is best done with adequate sleep) when I am not managing on my own NOW.
Yes that is terrible, I am very sorry for the condition you are going through, thank GOD you are doing well!I suffered from very strong migraines before, I lose my vision when I get migraines, I go completely blind…It was hard when I had just had my 3rd child and my ex used to work and was gone most of the day. With a newborn and 2 other children 1 of school age and 1 not, it was very hard to take my child to school blind! If I didn’t sleep/rest it wouldn’t go away and his family never helped…I had to pay someone or make babysitting deals with friends/distant cousins to help me with my school aged child; in order to get her to school and back home! It was hard and it took about 9 months after my tiny tot was born for the migraines to be regulated. Not easy. Sometimes they would last a week at a time, others just a day. But going around blind was no easy picking…So I definitely understand your pain and concern, but if GOD would have given me another child then, well I mean what would I have said or done?! It’s a good thing my relationship with my ex was over anyhow before my 3rd child was born, so we didn’t have any sex or anything intimate any way…
So again if you are willing to make the sacrifice may GOD be with you, if not then just hang in there and remember that you are blessed either choice!
So, when i say we have reasons to avoid, I mean it. It is something hubby and I pray about often. We are very open to life. We wouldn’t be using NFP through so much difficult if we weren’t.
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TLDenmark
Guest
Dear Malia
. Please know that I too admire how you and your husband are staying true to your ideal, and that you are in my prayers.
God bless the both of you
TL
Sorry to hear thatYes, completely impossible
If I was alone, it may be slightly more possible, but only slightly. I am VERY ill…housebound ill.
. Please know that I too admire how you and your husband are staying true to your ideal, and that you are in my prayers.God bless the both of you
TL
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Brenda_V
Guest
Malia,
I fully understand what your concerns are. I think Iluv does too but she is looking at it from the “if you are unable to not be intimate and you got pregnant, then it was meant to be”, not from the point of ‘well, gee, go ahead and do it no matter what your chances are of getting pregnant!’
I also understand your frustration with her posts (I was at first but then I read them with a different set of “eyes”).
Anyway, here’s praying that you ovulate in the about two weeks so you are solidly in phase three when he gets home and you have plenty of opportunities!
Brenda V.
I fully understand what your concerns are. I think Iluv does too but she is looking at it from the “if you are unable to not be intimate and you got pregnant, then it was meant to be”, not from the point of ‘well, gee, go ahead and do it no matter what your chances are of getting pregnant!’
I also understand your frustration with her posts (I was at first but then I read them with a different set of “eyes”).
Anyway, here’s praying that you ovulate in the about two weeks so you are solidly in phase three when he gets home and you have plenty of opportunities!
Brenda V.
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iluvmybabies
Guest
Malia,
I fully understand what your concerns are. I think Iluv does too but she is looking at it from the “if you are unable to not be intimate and you got pregnant, then it was meant to be”, not from the point of ‘well, gee, go ahead and do it no matter what your chances are of getting pregnant!’
I also understand your frustration with her posts (I was at first but then I read them with a different set of “eyes”).
Sorry for not being able to explain myself well but you got what I was trying to say!!Thanks for better explaining what I was trying to say!! It’s greatly appreciated!
Anyway, here’s praying that you ovulate in the about two weeks so you are solidly in phase three when he gets home and you have plenty of opportunities!
Brenda V.
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Feanaro_s_Wife
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**
Thanks Brenda…I actually did assume that was where she was coming from. Sorry if I sounded frustrated… it wasn’t AT you ILUV, more at the whole situation. I was only trying to explain why this is such a big deal.**
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Brenda_V
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First, you are welcome. This is a hard concept to get across to someone in person let alone via the internetSorry for not being able to explain myself well but you got what I was trying to say!!
. That is why I had to re-read what you wrote from a different perspective and since I am not the author of the posts (that would be you) nor the one in the situations (that would be Malia) I was able to take a step back and do that 
.So, again, praying that if you do not ovulate in the proper time frame and you two just can’t hold back (if Feanaro is like my dh, he will be able to hold back!) then I pray that God does not choose this time for a new baby in your lives. Remember just because you are fertile doesn’t mean you will 100% get pregnant! It amazes me how we ever do get pregnant with all the “barriers” God has put in place from the woman only being fertile for a couple of days out of the month to how one sperm has to make it up all by itself to the fallopian tube where the egg is waiting for it (hopefully) and then once that little human is started, it has to move down and out of the tube into the uterus where it has to attach to the wall and not get sloughed off! The miracle of life is just that to me, I understand the biology of it but that makes it even more of a miracle to me!
Brenda V.
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Brenda_V
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You have every right to be frustrated honey. I would be too and until I stopped eating wheat and gluten I had weird cycles too! That change in my diet did wonders for my cycle only now I am in that pre-menopause thing going on where I am now seeing anywhere from a 26 day cycle to a 36 day cycle (still far more regular than pre-wheat days
).Your cycles are weird right now because of the illness as well as the stress of dh being gone!
(look, we are down to weeks before he comes home for Christmas)
Brenda V.
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Feanaro_s_Wife
Guest
I know hubby will be able to hold back…for that I am extremely thankful!!! He has always been very understanding, even if he didn’t always agree. This time I am more worried about myself
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vluvski
Guest
I’m really sorry the timing doesn’t look promising, Malia. What a major bummer!
There has to be a novena to a patron saint of chastity or fertility, right? God created sex as a healthy, unifying act within marriage, and He understands the suffering you are enduring with the combined issues you and Lily have, especially without the support of DH.
Surely, our just and merciful God can see fit to grant this small petition! I’m praying that the timing will work out perfectly to fully
enjoy one another’s company.
There has to be a novena to a patron saint of chastity or fertility, right?
God created sex as a healthy, unifying act within marriage, and He understands the suffering you are enduring with the combined issues you and Lily have, especially without the support of DH.Surely, our just and merciful God can see fit to grant this small petition! I’m praying that the timing will work out perfectly to fully
enjoy one another’s company.
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whatevergirl
Guest
I have no advice Malia, but you and your hubby are in my prayers. I am not faithful to watching the calendar, and mucus, etc…as I was in the beginning, so sometimes we throw caution to the wind. 
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you, and praying for you.
Just wanted you to know that I am thinking of you, and praying for you.
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TravisandJill
Guest
I will pray that you and your DH will be able to have fun when he returns home:thumbsup:
I think its wonderful that you are so devoted to NFP. It is really something I struggle with so it inspires me when I see such devotion in other people.
I still like to lie to myself that NFP doesnt apply to me because I am not catholic yet and we only use the barrier method (blah blah blah) I really need to get my act together.
Anyways congrats on the hubby coming home for a vacation!
I think its wonderful that you are so devoted to NFP. It is really something I struggle with so it inspires me when I see such devotion in other people.
I still like to lie to myself that NFP doesnt apply to me because I am not catholic yet and we only use the barrier method (blah blah blah)
I really need to get my act together.Anyways congrats on the hubby coming home for a vacation!
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Friend_forever
Guest
You might want to try searching on the internet about sex with no intercourse. And don’t get me wrong. They are NOT about manual, oral sex and that kind of things that are not allowed bu the church.
They are about looking in the eyes, romance, and stuff like that which is very satisfying and yet it’s not intercourse. They will leave you more in love.
I know you must have tried plenty of these things before when you have had to abstain. But you might find a newer idea. Well, just in case you don’t ovulate on time to be past fertile days when he comes.
One last thing, think less about it and relax. The more you stress about this, the more irregular you get.
They are about looking in the eyes, romance, and stuff like that which is very satisfying and yet it’s not intercourse. They will leave you more in love.
I know you must have tried plenty of these things before when you have had to abstain. But you might find a newer idea. Well, just in case you don’t ovulate on time to be past fertile days when he comes.
One last thing, think less about it and relax. The more you stress about this, the more irregular you get.
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nablaise
Guest
Hi,
Sorry for all the stress. But I think you are probably stressing yourself needlessly. I know you are against contraception as we usually know it, but this language of yours seems to indicate a contraceptive attitude in NFP. And I think the conflictual situation is causing lots of stress.
My advice is to pray to the Blessed Mother and St. Joseph for these intimacy issues. I am sure no couple can match their love, thus their intimacy.
Perhaps our Lord is getting your attention and want to give more wisdom in your NFP.
Praying for you and God bless
S
Shiann
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pierced77
Guest
Thankyou Both For Your Sacrifice And Service. It Is Families Like Yours That Make This Nation So Great.
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annie5
Guest
Hi I feel for you! And too will pray for you and your husband.
What an awesome time to be able to see him and be with him.
I don’t know what your reasons for avoiding another child are but…my husband and I were in this same situation (we hadn’t seen much of each other since I went back to work after the birth of our first child) and my cycles are all wacky too. (Breastfeeding urgh!) Anyway we prayed about it and then we ended up using what may have been “a fertile day” on my chart BUT we knew God would only give us a child if it was what he wanted. Three weeks later and three negative pregnancy tests tell me it wasn’t meant to be fertile and we do not regret using that day. AND by the way it was an awesome bonding time for us both physically and spiritually. SO maybe offering it up is best?
Thought I would just throw that out there to you.
What an awesome time to be able to see him and be with him.
I don’t know what your reasons for avoiding another child are but…my husband and I were in this same situation (we hadn’t seen much of each other since I went back to work after the birth of our first child) and my cycles are all wacky too. (Breastfeeding urgh!) Anyway we prayed about it and then we ended up using what may have been “a fertile day” on my chart BUT we knew God would only give us a child if it was what he wanted. Three weeks later and three negative pregnancy tests tell me it wasn’t meant to be fertile and we do not regret using that day. AND by the way it was an awesome bonding time for us both physically and spiritually. SO maybe offering it up is best?
Thought I would just throw that out there to you.
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catholickitten
Guest
I’ll be praying for you and your husband 
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