Communion dresses

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Susan79

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Can I just ask why the girls have to wear dresses for their first holy communion? As I understand it, it has to be something white to symbolise purity etc but why a dress? In this day in age can the child not wear a white suit for instance?
My daughter is a bit of a tomboy and hates dresses and wants to wear a white suit.
 
When my niece in Poland received her first communion (16 years ago), all of the communicants were dressed in unisex albs with, IIRC, golden cinctures around the waist. This was done to eliminate the opportunity for rivalry between wealthy people who could afford finery for their children, and poorer people who couldn’t. Personally I think it was a nice touch. Is this done anywhere in North America?
 
I have never heard a Church Teaching or Precept commanding such…it is more a traditional or cultural concern…God is more concerned with the state of the heart than the fashion sense of the individual approaching His table, as long as normal moral codes of modesty are observed.

Rejoicing in the Lord should not be such a burden that it has to be overthought, or to appease the tastes of others.
 
Speak to the pastor. Here, we have a Diocese dress code and the pastor also has further guidelines.

Here, slacks and a blouse with sleeves would be approved. A boy’s suit on a girl, that would not be approved.

If she were my child, I would likely find white leggings/slacks and a pretty white tunic top with with white flats.

https://www.amazon.com/Alvivi-Sleev...rel&sprefix=girls+white+tunic,aps,329&sr=1-22

https://www.amazon.com/VYU-Little-S...girls+white+tunic,aps,329&sr=1-60-spons&psc=1

https://www.amazon.com/Bulawoo-Girl...arel&sprefix=girls+white+tunic,aps,329&sr=1-8

Or something like this with a white cardigan over it

 
Susan79 said:
Can I just ask why the girls have to wear dresses for their first holy communion?
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There is no requirement that they do so. It is a custom to wear a fancy dress and veil, and most girls love to dress up for their special day.

Baptism, Confirmation, Eucharist are the three sacraments of initiation, and are connected. The white garment— dresses for girls and suits for boys— harken back to the baptismal alb which symbolizes putting on Christ. And is certainly appropriate.

But it is not a requirement.
Susan79 said:
My daughter is a bit of a tomboy and hates dresses and wants to wear a white suit.
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Im not sure I’ve ever seen a white pantsuit for a kid, but I don’t see any reason she couldn’t wear white pants and a white blouse. I would not dress her in a boy’s suit.
 
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Susan79 said:
My daughter is a bit of a tomboy and hates dresses and wants to wear a white suit.
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I didn’t want to wear a dress either because I was tomboyish too, but I did. No lasting psychological scars from it. In fact, I grew into someone who loves clothes and dressing up. 🙂
 
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I’m sorry but this is totally irrelevant.

No child should be forced to wear something just because it is the “tradition”.
And no child’s feelings and desires should be dismissed in favor of teaching a lesson.
 
Not your experience, the idea that a child should be “forced” to wear something because it’s “tradition”, thereby dismissing their feelings and desires on what should be a very special day. That is what I find irrelevant. Sorry, I see it was not very clear.
 
I’m pretty sure I’ve seen a girl in a dressy white girl’s pantsuit at First Communion in one parish church.

Some churches are more traditional and have a stricter dress code. It’s often for the sake of uniformity / so they don’t have to argue about whether little Hailey’s pantsuit looks too much like a boy or are leggings appropriate, etc.

The parishes I’m familiar with also allow a child to opt out of the First Communion ceremony and have their First Communion as a private family event at a different Mass if they wish. In such a case, there usually isn’t a strict dress code, although it’s the custom that the child and family will dress as befits a special occasion and not just appear in t-shirts and jeans. This might be an option if there is a big issue with one child not wanting to wear the prescribed outfit, although I would think that having to wear a dress for one day is not the end of the world.

I wasn’t keen on having to be fitted for a dress either at that age, but I did it just like I wore a dress for other special occasions my mom dictated that I dress up for, such as holiday visits with relatives who had gifted me a particular dress and Mom wanted them to see me in it. We have to do a lot of things as kids that we don’t want to do, such as go to school, go to bed at a certain time, wear a dress or suit occasionally, etc. It’s good practice for adulthood where we aren’t always allowed to wear our favorite clothes to work either.

I personally tend to agree that the uniform albs would be a great idea. Unfortunately, in the USA, somebody would find a reason to complain about that like they find reasons to complain about everything else. If there was no dress code, people would be complaining about some kids showing up in outfits they consider “disrespectul” to the Eucharist.
 
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No it wouldn’t be a boys suit as such. More pants and girls blouse and maybe jacket. But thank you.
 
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CilladeRoma said:
And no child’s feelings and desires should be dismissed in favor of teaching a lesson.
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By that reasoning, I as a child should have been excused from school all the time, been able to eat junk food all day and never had to do a chore.

One giant lesson of childhood, that carries over into adulthood, is you don’t get your own way all the time.
 
Yeah I’m worried she might grow out of it too and regret not wearing a dress later on in life but I also don’t want to regret not letting her wear pants or something similar if that’s what she really wants
 
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We are talking about forcing a child to dress in a specific manner because it’s “tradition”.
We are not talking about not letting a child do something that would be detrimental to them.
 
I would have been devastated if my daughter didn’t wear a dress for first communion
 
CilladeRoma said:
We are talking about forcing a child to dress in a specific manner because it’s “tradition”.
We are not talking about not letting a child do something that would be detrimental to them.
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I think letting a child dress like they want at all times and paying no heed to tradition IS detrimental to them. A healthy respect for tradition is a good thing, to me. Doesn’t mean you are bound by it all the time, but in a context like the Church it is not good to get rid of every tradition just because some kid, or some adult, doesn’t care for it.
 
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I disagree. Wearing a dress is a pain in the neck, and I find them to be very uncomfortable.
I am in my 50’s. Even I was never “forced” to wear a dress if I didn’t want to as a child, especially a dress covered with the “froo-froo” that most First Communion dresses have. That did not mean I did not “dress up”. I would wear nice slacks and a sweater/blouse or a pantsuit. I was always appropriately dressed for the occasion, but never “forced” to wear something because it was “tradition”.
 
In my parish the requirement for the last 20 yeas has been “clean and modest”, no colour requirement. Boys never had to wear white in any parish I’ve been as long as I’ve lived (65 years), though my cousins and brothers wore suits and sported wide white satin armbands.
 
Feanor2 said:
I would have been devastated if my daughter didn’t wear a dress for first communion
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That’s about you.

FHC is about your child and his/her relationship with Jesus. Not about what he/she wears.
 
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