Fortunately God understands this difficulty of ours, and in His kindness gives us Himself under the
appearance of bread and wine.
St. Augustine said, “Seek not to understand that you may believe, but believe that you may understand.” If you accept this belief in obedience first, the understanding of the mind and heart will follow. A friend of mine who converted from Baptist to Catholic wrote in an essay, “
Obedience: the First and Foundational Virtue,”
(You also might like this other essay of his, which he was assigned to write when he was in RCIA: “
Why Do I Want to Be Catholic?”)
What you will come to understand, Zundrah, is that by receiving Christ in the Eucharist, we are closer to Him than if we could have held Him as a tiny baby at the manger, or walked with Him on His journeys, or sat at His feet listening to Him, or followed Him to Calvary.
If a woman hemorrhaging for nearly 20 years was healed in an instant by simply touching the hem of His robe with great faith, imagine the healing and transformation that takes place in our souls each time we receive His Body, Blood, Soul & Divinity with great faith! You have so much to look forward to.
My prayers are with you in your journey into the Church.