Comparing funeral customs of Catholics and Protestants

[Memaw]

Do you mean me? If so, what is it that you’d like to know?

Nothing really, I just don’t always look at where someone is from but I do check their religion. If you go back and read some of the posts you’ll see where the mistake is. God Bless, Memaw

 

[Peter_J]

Nothing really,

Fair enough.

 

[adamhovey1988]

Background:
My neighbors, who are Assembly of God Christians, attended their first Catholic funeral today and were kind of taken aback by it. They thought it was very impersonal and lacking in any kind of personal touch, kind of a cookie cutter ‘Insert name here’ sort of thing.

That is what they told my wife, anyway, and I heard that from her. I plan to share with them soon that they shouldn’t expect a Catholic funeral to be like one in their own faith tradition. In my opinion it’s kind of like comparing apples and oranges.

In some protestant faith traditions, the person who passed away is eulogized during the funeral ceremony. People who were near and dear to the deceased person sometimes are allowed to speak for a couple of minutes and share how the person affected their life in a positive way.

For example, when my father passed away in 2011 (lifelong Presbyterian), my childhood friend was allowed to tell a brief story at the funeral of how my father saved his son’s life when he hurt himself seriously in a nearby playground when he was little and my father was working nearby, saw it, applied a tourniquet and took him to his parents so they could take him to the hospital.

There are hymns and prayer and scripture reading too, but I’ve found that a Protestant funeral can vary quite a bit depending on the faith tradition and the family’s wishes.

I plan to share with my neighbors that the purpose of a Catholic funeral (or at least my understanding of it) is to pray for the repose of the soul of the person and for the Lord to have mercy on them.

For Catholics, it is my understanding that eulogies are typically not done at the funeral mass but are done outside of it at the vigil or at a Memorial Service separate from the funeral mass. It’s not that Catholics do not celebrate the life of the person who died – however they believe in Purgatory and therefore they believe it is most important to pray for the soul of the person at the funeral and for the mercy of God on the deceased.
Catholics celebrate the life of the person who passed away, they just do it outside of the funeral Mass.

Did I express the Catholic funeral tradition correctly? Please correct, clarify, or elaborate as necessary to make sure I can help explain to my neighbor the real purpose of the Catholic funeral mass because I want to get it right. Thanks.

I think you just about hit the nail on the head for the Latin Church but this is also true in Eastern Catholic churches that I’ve been to where they had a similar thing happen they don’t give eugilogy during the liturgy but they might do it after the liturgy. And you make a very good point about different traditions and Protestantism my mother is not particularly religious but she has actually miscarried a few children and I remember we had a funeral service for one of them out at a Methodist vhurch and it was really different. My father was Lutheran but had a Catholic funeral, and obviously that was different from a Methodist funeral and I’ve been to Baptist funerals which are different from both. I will tell you the one thing that every Christian funeral I’ve ever been to have in common with I think one exception Psalm 23. And do you know what? I think Psalm 23 is the perfect scripture for a Christian funeral. I think you did a really good job with how you phrased your explanation

 

[Tommy999]

I think you just about hit the nail on the head for the Latin Church but this is also true in Eastern Catholic churches that I’ve been to where they had a similar thing happen they don’t give eugilogy during the liturgy but they might do it after the liturgy. And you make a very good point about different traditions and Protestantism my mother is not particularly religious but she has actually miscarried a few children and I remember we had a funeral service for one of them out at a Methodist vhurch and it was really different. My father was Lutheran but had a Catholic funeral, and obviously that was different from a Methodist funeral and I’ve been to Baptist funerals which are different from both. I will tell you the one thing that every Christian funeral I’ve ever been to have in common with I think one exception Psalm 23. And do you know what? I think Psalm 23 is the perfect scripture for a Christian funeral. I think you did a really good job with how you phrased your explanation

Thanks, Adam. I agree that Psalm 23 seems to be a common scripture at a lot of funerals and it is fitting. When my mother passed away, the pastor asked if there were any specific scripture readings the family wanted read, and I asked for Proverbs 31:25-30, which I thought summarized my mother really well. She had a big influence on my life.

25 She is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come.

26 She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.

27 She watches over the affairs of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.

28 Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her:

29 “Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all.”

30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised

 

[andrewstx]

I have been to a number of funerals over my 60 years. I was most impressed at a Bishop’s funeral. I kind of like episcopal/Anglican funerals. One was for an infant, the Dad carried the coffin in and out. In Anglican funerals the coffin is alwase covered by a pall. It is not Anglican practice for people to look at the body. it is always closed coffin.
I am now Orthodox. The priest who baptized me died. His coffin was open, we were all expected to kiss his body…

My worst experience was my own mother’s funeral. It was in a generic “Christian” church. Did not resemble a church at all. Where the altar belonged was the drums keyboard. The music was all prerecorded. It was all cantrified, one day at a time sweet Jesus was one of numbers. Not a word of prayer was said for her soul!
The worst thing to me was she was gone, just a picture of her propped against her ashes container.

 

[Stilldreamn]

In the Lutheran tradition - we have a regular Divine Service (Mass), with the sermon (homily) about topics of Christian theology that will bring comfort for the bereaved.

Very little talking about the dead person typically, except where their story begins and ends in Christ Jesus.

My Lutheran pastor had a great story about this - in that his first funeral service, he didn’t know anything about the deceased. He asked the widow about her dead husband, and she was perplexed - she told him that the funeral service should be about Christ and His crucifixion and resurrection, and the promises He gave to us.

Another notable thing: All caskets are completely covered in a simple white cloth so that the rich and the poor come to Christ as equal brothers and sisters

This has been my experience of Lutheran services as well. My uncle passed away two weeks ago and his service was performed by a deacon of his Catholic church and was similar to our Service of the Word - no eulogy but his adult children read the OT and NT Scripture selections. The homily was centered on Christ and very comforting.