Complain, Complain, Complain

[the_phoenix]

That is so cool! It’s nice to hear from a Catholic who is kind of outsider as well.
But I’ve never been in the popular group either. Why waste time trying to befriend people who wouldn’t like you anyway? And why do stuff for a parish who won’t appreciate you anyway? I would rather serve at a soup kitchen or in an animal shelter.

The feeling is mutual, CountrySinger! :curtsey:

And the thing is, the Catholic Church is not supposed to be about popularity.
In fact, it can often be downright unpopular to follow Christ and the Teachings
of the Catholic Church.

Agreed about providing material help for the poor, like in a soup kitchen.

That said, there is a ministry that I actually have been called to in my parish …
I’m a member of the Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration Team.
Of course there’s no talking or socializing in the chapel …

God has a magnificent sense of humor,
and I love it!

~~ the phoenix

 

[CountrySinger]

The feeling is mutual, CountrySinger! :curtsey:

And the thing is, the Catholic Church is not supposed to be about popularity.
In fact, it can often be downright unpopular to follow Christ and the Teachings
of the Catholic Church.

Agreed about providing material help for the poor, like in a soup kitchen.

That said, there is a ministry that I actually have been called to in my parish …
I’m a member of the Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration Team.
Of course there’s no talking or socializing in the chapel …

God has a magnificent sense of humor,
and I love it!

~~ the phoenix

Of course he has a sense of humor, he made the platypus!

I wish we had a Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration team, we have it one day a month, in the late morning, during the work week. And then the parish whines that more people don’t go. Hmmmmm? Maybe if you had it more than once a month during the work week, so people who work could go? I’m might be taking a leap of faith with that question. I angered some of the people there when I said that.

 

[Cajun_Girl]

I hear ya, CountrySinger.

I tried the whole joining groups, Donut Sundays, getting involved in active ministry, heck, I even hosted a Women’s Renewal Group Christmas Party in my apartment. Guess I’m just too … who knows what … for Catholics to accept me in social situations.

So instead of staying after Mass for Donut Sundays, I started going out in nature, just me and my camera.

And guess who accepts me now?

Art galleries.
:extrahappy:

So no, I’m not complaining …
nor will I beat my head against a brick wall …
I’ll simply go where I’m accepted when it comes to social functions.
Turns out my peeps are in the art world.
Who knew?

That said, I’m still very much a pro-life conservative
practicing Catholic who loves the Latin Mass and
a Ronald Reagan Republican.

If you ever want to talk, CountrySinger, feel welcome to drop me a PM.
Particularly since one of the other names I’m known by is CountryDreaming.

I love photography! Good for you!

I’ve also always liked Country Singer’s signature. You both sound like interesting people. You’re SURE you don’t fit into Catholic circles? Are we Catholics really that stuffy?

 

[puzzleannie]

Why isn’t your parish doing any of this? Because you are sitting on your duff complaining about it on CAF rather than going over to the parish volunteering to head up any of these ministries.

---

Rant over​

well I wasn’t going to say it because I am parish staff, but thanks for saying it for me. Looks like our VBS will be cancelled due to total lack of interest, and the people who have been loudest criticizing me for not offering it the last 2 years are the ones who will neither register their children, nor volunteer to assist because we did not consult them on the date (the only time the school is available to us).

That said, there is a ministry that I actually have been called to in my parish …
I’m a member of the Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration Team.
Of course there’s no talking or socializing in the chapel

I am convinced through faith and experience that a parish who has this will soon have every other ministry they could desire. It all begins here.

 

[FidesSpesCarita]

I love photography! Good for you!

I’ve also always liked Country Singer’s signature. You both sound like interesting people. You’re SURE you don’t fit into Catholic circles? Are we Catholics really that stuffy?

Hmm, I love photography, but stink at it. I dont fit well into many Catholic “types”, I love rugby, guns, hunting, fishing, country music, Heavy metal, Monty Python, pretty much everything listed thus far. But I feel more and more that I am not atypical, since there are obviously so many of us out there!!!

Oh, btw, I different that most of y’all that posted so far, since I am male. But oh well.

FSC

 

[the_phoenix]

I love photography! Good for you!

I’ve also always liked Country Singer’s signature. You both sound like interesting people. You’re SURE you don’t fit into Catholic circles? Are we Catholics really that stuffy?

Howdy Cajun Girl,

Join the jamboree! :curtsey:

To answer your question “Are Catholics really that stuffy?” I would say it might depend on how much they are open to getting to know someone with say, the uniqueness of CountrySinger’s signature. (Which I think is super cool too, btw.) And I mean REALLY getting to know, not just posting nice-sounding platitudes on an internet forum.

So, Cajun Girl, in honor of attempting to keep this thread on topic, what’s your advice and/or insight on lighting a candle rather than cursing the darkness?

~~ the phoenix

 

[the_phoenix]

Of course he has a sense of humor, he made the platypus!

I wish we had a Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration team, we have it one day a month, in the late morning, during the work week. And then the parish whines that more people don’t go. Hmmmmm? Maybe if you had it more than once a month during the work week, so people who work could go? I’m might be taking a leap of faith with that question. I angered some of the people there when I said that.

And He made human beings to come up with silly-sounding names like platypus!

I’m glad that you spoke up with your thoughts on Adoration.
Is there another parish in your area that offers this?

~~ the phoenix

 

[the_phoenix]

Hmm, I love photography, but stink at it. I dont fit well into many Catholic “types”, I love rugby, guns, hunting, fishing, country music, Heavy metal, Monty Python, pretty much everything listed thus far. But I feel more and more that I am not atypical, since there are obviously so many of us out there!!!

Oh, btw, I different that most of y’all that posted so far, since I am male. But oh well.

FSC

Welcome, FidesSpesCarita! :curtsey:

Some beautiful country out in Bozeman …
and here’s another thing, there are indeed many of us on CAF
who seem to be like minds and kindred spirits …
why, oh why, do we all live so far away from each other?

And how do you handle the challenges of being Catholic in your particular parish, when it comes to ministries or otherwise?

PAX ET BONUM,

~~ the phoenix

 

[Cajun_Girl]

Hmm, I love photography, but stink at it. I dont fit well into many Catholic “types”, I love rugby, guns, hunting, fishing, country music, Heavy metal, Monty Python, pretty much everything listed thus far. But I feel more and more that I am not atypical, since there are obviously so many of us out there!!!

Oh, btw, I different that most of y’all that posted so far, since I am male. But oh well.

FSC

Well, I didn’t actually say that I was any good at photography, just that I like it.

I guess I probably look like the most stereotyped little Catholic Mama now, since I’m a stay at home mom and don’t have time to do things more interesting than chasing the toddler through the sprinklers. But I love to get out into interesting habitats to photograph birds (plus anything else interesting that I see). It just so happens that my husband loves to hunt, and that seems to mesh well with my interests. He likes nature and has a great eye for hidden creatures, so we’ve been taking hikes all over the place recently.

Maybe my point is that not all of the little Catholic Mamas in their cute little mommy dresses are quite as boring as they look, and maybe some of them do keep an open mind about people aren’t quite “typical!”

 

[pete_29]

I’m here to complain about people complaining about people complaining. Oh No! I fallen into a Monty Python skit!

 

[ComputerGeek25]

Of course he has a sense of humor, he made the platypus!

I wish we had a Perpetual Eucharistic Adoration team, we have it one day a month, in the late morning, during the work week. And then the parish whines that more people don’t go. Hmmmmm? Maybe if you had it more than once a month during the work week, so people who work could go? I’m might be taking a leap of faith with that question. I angered some of the people there when I said that.

I think you were right about asking the question.

 

[Cajun_Girl]

Howdy Cajun Girl,

Join the jamboree! :curtsey:

To answer your question “Are Catholics really that stuffy?” I would say it might depend on how much they are open to getting to know someone with say, the uniqueness of CountrySinger’s signature. (Which I think is super cool too, btw.) And I mean REALLY getting to know, not just posting nice-sounding platitudes on an internet forum.

So, Cajun Girl, in honor of attempting to keep this thread on topic, what’s your advice and/or insight on lighting a candle rather than cursing the darkness?

~~ the phoenix

Well, if I invent the solution to silence all complainers, you can give me the Nobel Peace Prize.

Actually, my husband is kind of a complainer, so I usually tell him, “It’s time to de-grouch now!” However, I don’t recommend trying that in your church parish. Someone is bound to point out that “de-grouch” isn’t a real word.

I don’t think there really is a solution to 1ke’s complainers. If they complain that there isn’t a Youth Group, you can bet that they will complain if there is one. For some people, complaining seems to be the default position!

Sometimes I want to complain that I don’t have a lot of Catholic friends in the area, but I do know some nice Penecostals, Baptists, and even an atheist. I guess I’m saying that taking action is always better than complaining. But that’s advice for people who don’t want to complain, not for those who don’t want to listen to complaining.

I guess you can always do what I did. Marry the biggest grouch you can find, force him to laugh at himself continuously, pass on your cheerful genes to your children, and by that slow process, breed them out!

 

[CountrySinger]

And He made human beings to come up with silly-sounding names like platypus!

I’m glad that you spoke up with your thoughts on Adoration.
Is there another parish in your area that offers this?

~~ the phoenix

I’m pretty outspoken when it comes down to it. There is another parish, but it is not accessible to me. I ride the bus (don’t have a car), and it’s not near a bus line. I just wish my parish did it at least more than once a month. We can only adore Jesus from 9 am to 1 pm once a month apparently.

And yes, I would be willing to do more than a Adoration shift a week, as long as it doesn’t cost me my job, lol. Got cats to feed!

 

[Nec5]

Complaints and criticism are healthy if they are correct.

 

[FidesSpesCarita]

Welcome, FidesSpesCarita! :curtsey:

Some beautiful country out in Bozeman …
and here’s another thing, there are indeed many of us on CAF
who seem to be like minds and kindred spirits …
why, oh why, do we all live so far away from each other?

And how do you handle the challenges of being Catholic in your particular parish, when it comes to ministries or otherwise?

PAX ET BONUM,

~~ the phoenix

I have bemoaned the distance between the people who would fit my “clic” quite a few times, albeit in silence. But, c’est la vie, n’est-ce pas?

I handle the challenge the only way I know how: work two jobs and group with the guys when I can. That and fish. But I am trying to get up the gumption to start a bible study or a mens group (perhaps a generic young adult group). The hard part for me is that it would have to be on the weekend, and friday night bible studies arent very popular in a college town.

FSC

 

[stanncie]

I agree that there’s way too much complaining done in this forum and at parishes.
I don’t really understand what it accomplishes if you are just going to complain but not DO anything to remedy whatever you are complaining about.

Just yesterday at my young adult group, the spiritual director was complaining that not enough of our group had shown up for the talk they gave that night at the parish about lectio divina.
Errr… we are the ones that showed up!! why are you complaining to us?? lol

Thankfully, the majority there just brushed it off since we can’t force people to come if they don’t want to. Geez…

I’m a pretty positive person and can mostly shake all this negativity off but i can see how it can dampen people’s spirits in a bad way.

People, please try to see the positive things in life. Before you complain find one thing that you DO like! If you are constantly nagging no one will pay attention to you when there is really an important issue that needs to be resolved.

As far as not fitting in, why not try a little bit harder maybe? I’m not saying you have to change your personality but there is something to be said to being able to blend into different groups. Does everything have to be a certain way? Do people have to be like you? Not everyone is super friendly at first and you have to meet people where they are.

My group is entirely in Spanish and even though I speak spanish well it’s not my language of choice in everyday life. I had to adjust to that. There are even two people there who are third generation Latinos who only understand Spanish but speak it horribly but they are toughing it out.

No one in my group is from my country of origin or even nearby since I’m from south America and almost everyone there is either from the Caribbean or central America.
I know most Americans don’t realize this but there is a HUGE cultural difference between these two regions.
The food they want to eat after meeting is entirely different from my preference but i adjust to that.

But you know what, when we pray we are united and none of that matters I have become great friends with most of my group despite all of the differences.

Being open to new people and experiences is great even if at first it seems like you have very little in common.
I’m not posting this as a criticism on those who said they couldn’t find groups they fit into since i don’t know the situation in your parish. just letting you know that sometimes these things do work out even if it’s a little tricky at first

 

[leonie]

okay, I hear you.

Except I; don’t completely agree. Are you only allowed to have an opinion if you have the ability to volunteer or contribute?

It doesn’t sound quite right. For example, I can’t sing or play an instrument, so I can’t be dissatisfied with the quality of music in our liturgy. I have a toddler, so I can’t volunteer heavily in youth ministry, so I can’t voice my opinion about the youth ministry until I’m in a place to volunteer?

I can have no complaints? I can’t express any needs?

What about an elderly person or a mom with an infant–aren’t we suppose to serve these very needy but not able to contribute members of our parishes? They don’t get a voice?

I volunteer in catechesis and vbs, but I don’t have the talent to volunteer in other areas–so, I shouldn’t express my opinion about those programs?

Still, some complaints are petty. I agree.

 

[the_phoenix]

okay, I hear you.

Except I; don’t completely agree. Are you only allowed to have an opinion if you have the ability to volunteer or contribute?

It doesn’t sound quite right. For example, I can’t sing or play an instrument, so I can’t be dissatisfied with the quality of music in our liturgy. I have a toddler, so I can’t volunteer heavily in youth ministry, so I can’t voice my opinion about the youth ministry until I’m in a place to volunteer?

I can have no complaints? I can’t express any needs?

What about an elderly person or a mom with an infant–aren’t we suppose to serve these very needy but not able to contribute members of our parishes? They don’t get a voice?

I volunteer in catechesis and vbs, but I don’t have the talent to volunteer in other areas–so, I shouldn’t express my opinion about those programs?

Still, some complaints are petty. I agree.

 

[CountrySinger]

I agree that there’s way too much complaining done in this forum and at parishes.
I don’t really understand what it accomplishes if you are just going to complain but not DO anything to remedy whatever you are complaining about.

Just yesterday at my young adult group, the spiritual director was complaining that not enough of our group had shown up for the talk they gave that night at the parish about lectio divina.
Errr… we are the ones that showed up!! why are you complaining to us?? lol

Thankfully, the majority there just brushed it off since we can’t force people to come if they don’t want to. Geez…

I’m a pretty positive person and can mostly shake all this negativity off but i can see how it can dampen people’s spirits in a bad way.

People, please try to see the positive things in life. Before you complain find one thing that you DO like! If you are constantly nagging no one will pay attention to you when there is really an important issue that needs to be resolved.

As far as not fitting in, why not try a little bit harder maybe? I’m not saying you have to change your personality but there is something to be said to being able to blend into different groups. Does everything have to be a certain way? Do people have to be like you? Not everyone is super friendly at first and you have to meet people where they are.

My group is entirely in Spanish and even though I speak spanish well it’s not my language of choice in everyday life. I had to adjust to that. There are even two people there who are third generation Latinos who only understand Spanish but speak it horribly but they are toughing it out.

No one in my group is from my country of origin or even nearby since I’m from south America and almost everyone there is either from the Caribbean or central America.
I know most Americans don’t realize this but there is a HUGE cultural difference between these two regions.
The food they want to eat after meeting is entirely different from my preference but i adjust to that.

But you know what, when we pray we are united and none of that matters I have become great friends with most of my group despite all of the differences.

Being open to new people and experiences is great even if at first it seems like you have very little in common.
I’m not posting this as a criticism on those who said they couldn’t find groups they fit into since i don’t know the situation in your parish. just letting you know that sometimes these things do work out even if it’s a little tricky at first

Believe me, I’ve tried to fit in, but barring a full personality change, I won’t. I’m not a little ultra submissive woman who has no opinion of my own, so I don’t fit into the youg adult woman’s group. And it’s their loss, because they whine about being boring while not being open to ideas. Duh. And the funny thing is, I have a TON of friends elsewhere, they just aren’t Catholic. So church for me is just a place where I go for an hour a week, race out so I can catch my bus, and shake the dust off from my four inch stilletos so I can go places where I REALLY want to be.

 

[CountrySinger]

If y’all can’t tell, I don’t like my parish (too bad the others are impossible by bus, I’m not traveling an hour to Mass), and ever since I brought up starting perpetual adoration, I’m sure they don’t like me. i