Complicated interfaith marriage situation

[duggy]

Pray, Pray, let the Lord be your guide, marriage is forever, it is also very difficult under the best of conditions, get all the questions answered before you make that commitment. I left the church 42 years ago, to become a Baptist to satisify my wife and her family, and to get at my Dad, who was against me marrying outside the Catholic Church. We have been married for 41 years next week, we have two sons who were raised Baptist. I however have been unhappy most of that time. 5 years ago I came home to the Catholic Church. My wife is so against it, she doesn’t even try to understand, she refuses to listen to anything I say about Catholics, she refuses to read any litature I ask her to read. At first she resented every time I went to church. I joined a study class to study the Catecism of the Catholic Church, that really made her angry. The past 5 years have been the most difficult of our marriage. She has finally accepted the fact I am Catholic, but still will not go with me to mass, or any other function held in the Catholic Church. I read the Bible daily, have a daily prayer ritual, which includes the rosary. My wife has quit complaining about it, and accepts it. I think if my Dad who was also in a mixed marriage would of done his job, then I would of been more prepared to do mine properly, and my wife and children would be Catholic now. Think it through, pray about it, and most of all agree with one another, if you can’t agree here, then maybe you shouldn’t be together. I shall pray for you.
Richard Duggan

 

[kp1]

duggy:

My wife is so against it, she doesn’t even try to understand, she refuses to listen to anything I say about Catholics, she refuses to read any litature I ask her to read. At first she resented every time I went to church. I joined a study class to study the Catecism of the Catholic Church, that really made her angry. The past 5 years have been the most difficult of our marriage. She has finally accepted the fact I am Catholic, but still will not go with me to mass, or any other function held in the Catholic Church. I read the Bible daily, have a daily prayer ritual, which includes the rosary. My wife has quit complaining about it, and accepts it.
Richard Duggan

Richard,
Pray for the conversion of your family. Fast, sacrifice, but most of all pray. If she is that adimintly against hearing you out, do not discuss it with her. Let the Holy Spirit work on her awhile, but do not pressure her.

After 41 years of marriage, she is probably heart broken to discover you have been so unhappy, and your (as a couple) routine is turned on it’s head. I would think, she just thought things would remain the way they were, but “you went and changed it”. You could try explaining that this does not change your love for her, but that the Holy Spirit was calling you back home to Rome. Men do not understand this about women, but when you change their longterm view of things, they feel violated or concerned they have been scammed some how. I think it is more than you becoming Catholic again. I think inorder to open her mind up a little, you need to get passed the hurt she feels. In Her eyes, RCC (or maybe Mary herself) is the other woman in an affair you are having. I do not know if you thought of this before, but I felt compelled to write this to you!

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

kp1:

Something else that will probably get blasted, you can marry outside of the Church then have your marriage blessed by a Catholic Priest in the Church. I see that no one has said this yet. It is not the optimal way, but it will ensure that the Church sees your marriage valid. We has someone just join the Catholic Church at my parish and had the marriage blessed this way.

The reason why is that this is very bad advice. First it is against Canon Law to intentionally do this, against the Catholic Sacrament of Marriage, a sacrilege, produces an invalid Marriage situation.