Concerned about husband

  • Thread starter Thread starter longlostone
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

longlostone

Guest
Found out husband is taking pills.

I posted earlier about his mother and how she was addicted to pain pills.

All I know is that he is taking them because he is stressed out at work.

He is getting them from someone and does not know what they are - which is not good.

He has been taking them on and off since July.

Spent almost one month of mortgage from July until October.

I am speechless.

I am heartbroken.

What else can I say. :_(
 
As a practical suggestion, could you get him to see a licensed professional? There are legitimate medications for stress that can be handled in an appropriate way. And medical confidentiality means they won’t report it to anyone.
 
You need a professional.

He does, too, but right now you need a professional counselor and probably legal help.

You need to look at options to keep yourself and your children safe. His addiction poses a real danger to young children. He should NEVER, under any circumstance, be left alone with them if under the influence, especially, especially, especially since he is unsure of their origin.

You are in a dangerous situation. My prayers go out to you.

Get yourself help. Know your options ,and keep those little ones safe!
 
I talked to him.

We are going to speak to someone this week.

He said he can stop at any time.

The reason he took them was because he is stressed out at work. His coworker is giving him a hard time and ruffling his feathers. His coworker talks down to him when my husband is a grade above him. His coworker tells my husband he is not a man because he does not do this…blah blah. His coworker was a dealer before and got in trouble in a different state but got the charges dropped. His coworker told my husband about how pills can relax him. He asked someone else at work where he could get them and he contacted them. He would meet this one person at a location.

He did mention how he lets people walk all over him. All these years of being walked on finally took an ugly turn. He said he became someone who he hated…someone who took pills.

My husband said he only did it a few times a week. Never on a Friday or weekend.

I do not know what to do.

My heart breaks.

My mom said I need to help him and stick with this because if I do not…it could get worse.
 
You need professional help.

Your husband is an addict. Those are the words of an addict.

Your mom is putting you in danger.

She is putting your children in danger.

You need legal advice.
 
I thought an addict was someone that did drugs everyday? It seems he is getting better but I just do not know anymore. Believe me the first thing I told my mom was I wante out and wanted to stay at her house.
 
longlostone said:
I thought an addict was someone that did drugs everyday? It seems he is getting better but I just do not know anymore. Believe me the first thing I told my mom was I wante out and wanted to stay at her house.
Click to expand...
It doesn’t sound like you can trust your mom.

That is terrible.

Here’s an article on addiction. Note number 3, 4, and 5. You’re not getting the whole story…only pieces of it.


Are you in America? If so, you need to contact your state or local government. Many have sites online that can help you.
 
Thanks for the article.

He does admit that it is his fault. He said the coworker did not put the pills in his mouth that he did.

Yes. I live in America.

He did say he would check himself in for a week at this place if I wante him to. I told him we will see what the person says this week.
 
Were the co-worker 's 'put-downs a calculated effort to upset your husband sufficiently as to next move in with pills intended to lift his spirits, and bring him to addictions as a regular buyer?
This is how it might appear from what you shared.
What if this person continues to target people in this way, if that’s what he is doing?
What can and should be done about this at a work level?

Prayer for your husband and you
and for any potential or past victims, if this be so.
 
Hi. His coworker would call him a wuss and tell him he is not man because my husband would not complain to people to get work done. My husband is not confrontational so he just waits for things to get done. There was a deadline and hi coworker told him he better complain or it will not get done. However it did get done without complaining. My husband is trying to move to a different department to escape this coworker.

I did talk to my husband last night after the little ones were sleeping. He said he is relieved I found out.

But my gut feeling is all mixed up and I am not 100% sure. I feel like I can never trust him again.
 
longlostone said:
Hi. His coworker would call him a wuss and tell him he is not man because my husband would not complain to people to get work done. My husband is not confrontational so he just waits for things to get done. There was a deadline and hi coworker told him he better complain or it will not get done. However it did get done without complaining. My husband is trying to move to a different department to escape this coworker.

I did talk to my husband last night after the little ones were sleeping. He said he is relieved I found out.

But my gut feeling is all mixed up and I am not 100% sure. I feel like I can never trust him again.
Click to expand...
A normal adult can not be bullied into taking drugs.

This is VERY unhealthy.

Please see a professional.
 
Sorry! No better suggestion on this. But a consultant would be much helpful for you. Thanks!
 
This.

Please, don’t wait. Find a Al-Anon meeting (it is for family of addicts) and go. You will hear other spouses saying words that feel as if they came out of your mouth.
 
We went to talk to someone and he will be meeting with her weekly now. He said he should have done it a long time ago.

He said he made a mistake and feels bad and how weak he was for falling to that as a resort. He said that if the guy he talks to at work who gave him the number ask about wanting more he will say that his wife found out and he needs to stop. He does not want a divorce and wants to see his children. I still do not know what to believe.

I went on a forum and connected with an addict to talk to her about this. She told me something is fishy because of what I said he said. For example, he said the pills would last him 2 hours of feeling numb. But she told me (who is experienced) said it should last for 8 hours. She said he is getting ripped off or doing something else.

I am still heartbroken.
I will never be the same.
My poor babies.
 
I showed him a pill site and he could not pick out what he got. Which is another shady sign according to the girl I talk to.
 
longlostone said:
We went to talk to someone and he will be meeting with her weekly now. He said he should have done it a long time ago.

He said he made a mistake and feels bad and how weak he was for falling to that as a resort. He said that if the guy he talks to at work who gave him the number ask about wanting more he will say that his wife found out and he needs to stop. He does not want a divorce and wants to see his children. I still do not know what to believe.

I went on a forum and connected with an addict to talk to her about this. She told me something is fishy because of what I said he said. For example, he said the pills would last him 2 hours of feeling numb. But she told me (who is experienced) said it should last for 8 hours. She said he is getting ripped off or doing something else.

I am still heartbroken.
I will never be the same.
My poor babies.
Click to expand...
He’s giving you a load of garbage.

You need to work on finding income and safe housing for yourself and your children.

Life will never be the same, but it can be good.
 
I am not defending your husband in any way, but how a pill lasts for one person is not indicative of how long it lasts for everyone. Medications do not effect everyone the same way as people’s bodies react differently.

As an EMT, I have some experience with drugs that people take as well as life experience of myself and others in my life.

My girlfriend is unable to take muscle relaxers or hardcore pain pills during the day because they knock her out for hours. She doesn’t take Naproxen because it does nothing for her to relieve pain. My step-dad when he takes Percocet, it makes him loopy. Tramadol makes me loopy, yet doesn’t effect my mom in the same way.

How long a drug effects someone is also different. What lasts for 8+ hours in one person, may only last 2-4 in another person.

The addict may be right, however, there is a good chance she is very wrong.

You and your husband are doing the right thing by going and talking to someone. Allow them to guide you in the right direction as well as prayer.
 
So you do not think he is taking pills then? How long does it last in blood? Can he get a blood test?
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top