Concerned about my drinking

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mkipp said:
I am in therapy working through depression adn anxiety issues. Boredom is an issue, during lent I worked out everyday and only had a few drinks on the weekend, I lost a ton of weight and looked great. Not sure what happened, now I have no ambition to work out and feel terrible. I want to feel good like that again. I just feel so lost.
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Talk with your therapist. Any time you feel compelled to do what you don’t want to do, that’s a problem. As for the ambition end, remember that you don’t have to get back where you were in a day. Even at a lower amount and a lower intensity, the exercise will help you feel better. It really works wonders for depression, and is almost always part of the solution, for those who can do it.
 
mkipp said:
I am concerned for myself as I consume about 6 beers a day, every day. I am not sure why I do it other than to relax but I am concerned that it may be developing into a problem. I am able to do all the things that I need to do and it has not affected my life and I consume the alcohol after work in the evening. I just don’t know if this is normal or too much. I feel embarrassed personally about it, also it has made me gain a lot of weight. I feel guilty about it.
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20 years ago I drank to extreme excess.

What I can tell you is that 6 beers a day for an adult would not be considered ‘social drinking’ by most professionals who may evaluate such things. There are people who consume that much, or more, on a daily basis for years even decades while remaining ‘functional’.

It is NOT normal. It is excessive drinking. Social drinking is 1-maybe 3 drinks a day maybe a few days a week for adults out of college age. And that would be in the company of others (i.e. the ‘social’ context).

You could be drinking because of stress, because of depression, whatever. The way I view the use of alcohol, when it comes to more than social drinking, is that it is a coping mechanism for one thing or another. Alcohol helps people relax. It takes their minds off of their problems. But when it becomes a pattern this can be indicitive of a problem. And the longer one continues the more ingrained the habbit of coping this way will become, hence the harder it will be for one to change this behavior the longer it continues.

I suggest you speak with your primary care doctor and be completely honest with him about the ammt you drink and the circumstances you drink under and then ask him something like:

Is this normal and considered not a problem whatsoever or would you consider this a problem or a potential problem? Then ask for his advice.

Are you open to changing this behavior should your doctor say it’s a problem or potential problem? If so I suggest you seek his counsel sooner rather than later.

My father used to drink this way when I was very young. Then it turned into a 12 pack a night. He never missed a day of work. But it was a large part of our families disfunction. He would say it’s ‘his right’ and ‘he works every day’ etc… But it became a solitary activity for him eventaully (the people who didn’t drink as much or as often seemed to not want to be around him much). Sadly, basically the only 1 on 1 time I had with my father growing up (he was angry and distant, he grew up without a father) was on Sundays when I was 15 and he would take me out to learn how to drive before I even got a permit. I was quite happy to finally have 1 on 1 time with my dad.

In retrospect I learned that what he was doing was using this time as a way to hide how much he was drinking from my mother. He was ‘teaching’ me to drive (in industrial parks on Sundays when there is no traffic) where I would drive and he would have a beer in his lap (and a 6 pack in the back seat). We would also stop off at the pub. I felt grown up and happy to be with my dad. Sadly this is the only ‘fond’ memory of me spending time with my father growing up.

Ask you doctor and be blunt and completely honest. Go from there.

God Bless,
Bill
 
Bill_7154 said:
20 years ago I drank to extreme excess.

What I can tell you is that 6 beers a day for an adult would not be considered ‘social drinking’ by most professionals who may evaluate such things. There are people who consume that much, or more, on a daily basis for years even decades while remaining ‘functional’.

It is NOT normal. It is excessive drinking. Social drinking is 1-maybe 3 drinks a day maybe a few days a week for adults out of college age. And that would be in the company of others (i.e. the ‘social’ context).

You could be drinking because of stress, because of depression, whatever. The way I view the use of alcohol, when it comes to more than social drinking, is that it is a coping mechanism for one thing or another. Alcohol helps people relax. It takes their minds off of their problems. But when it becomes a pattern this can be indicitive of a problem. And the longer one continues the more ingrained the habbit of coping this way will become, hence the harder it will be for one to change this behavior the longer it continues.

I suggest you speak with your primary care doctor and be completely honest with him about the ammt you drink and the circumstances you drink under and then ask him something like:

Is this normal and considered not a problem whatsoever or would you consider this a problem or a potential problem? Then ask for his advice.

Are you open to changing this behavior should your doctor say it’s a problem or potential problem? If so I suggest you seek his counsel sooner rather than later.

My father used to drink this way when I was very young. Then it turned into a 12 pack a night. He never missed a day of work. But it was a large part of our families disfunction. He would say it’s ‘his right’ and ‘he works every day’ etc… But it became a solitary activity for him eventaully (the people who didn’t drink as much or as often seemed to not want to be around him much). Sadly, basically the only 1 on 1 time I had with my father growing up (he was angry and distant, he grew up without a father) was on Sundays when I was 15 and he would take me out to learn how to drive before I even got a permit. I was quite happy to finally have 1 on 1 time with my dad.

In retrospect I learned that what he was doing was using this time as a way to hide how much he was drinking from my mother. He was ‘teaching’ me to drive (in industrial parks on Sundays when there is no traffic) where I would drive and he would have a beer in his lap (and a 6 pack in the back seat). We would also stop off at the pub. I felt grown up and happy to be with my dad. Sadly this is the only ‘fond’ memory of me spending time with my father growing up.

Ask you doctor and be blunt and completely honest. Go from there.

God Bless,
Bill
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My dad’s rule was a beer and maybe a shot a day, excepting Advent, Lent, and when there was another circumstance that argued against it…for instance, maybe instead of only having dishes and routing work to do, you’re tired and yet have to stay up and be alert for several more hours of mental work, going to a meeting or putting a resume together or something like that.

His maxim was that if you have trouble giving it up, you have a problem.
 
EasterJoy said:
His maxim was that if you have trouble giving it up, you have a problem.
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I agree with this, and the counselor that got me to recognize I had a problem wasn’t one that said “can you give it up” it was one who said:

Could you have a case of beer in your fridge, and each and every day you would need to drink 2 beers, no more, not less (you see I could drink zero drinks in a day, but couldn’t stop at 2). He said you would have to drink 2 beers and then just go on with whatever your doing, watching TV, whatever. But you couldn’t have a 3rd beer or more. You would have to have 2. You coudn’t have none.

And that made it sunk in for me I had a problem because I knew once I got the feeling from 2 beers it would be basically impossible for me to not continue to have more, especially if they are right there in the fridge.

I have since been cured of my alcohol problem, it was a long time in the making and I used multiple different resources/strategies. I am in the very, very small minority of people who used to drink like a pig but now drink 3-5x/ year, maybe 1/2 glass of beer/wine to a max of maybe 2 drinks, all on special occasions with family. And now since I have a baby I wouldn’t even drink 1/2 a drink despite being 250 lbs, if I were driving, even if 2 hours went by after having the 1/2 drink. I have alcohol in my house, it dosn’t effect me. I can be around others drinking, mostly I don’t want to, it makes me tired.

But for years I attended AA and practiced the 12 steps. I believe that drinking is a way of coping with mental/emotional/spiritual/psychological/soulful problems… and one must dig into those painful area’s and figure out other ways of dealing with them.

At age 19-21 I drank every other day (was too hung over to drink daily) and would drink like a 12 pack AND a pint of hard liquor. And this pattern came on quick. Prior to this I would gather with the guys and maybe drink 1 beer, pouring out another 1-2-3 ‘pretending’ to drink them to avoid being made fun of and to look like I was fitting in and keeping up to some extent to the others.

Then I went to the hardcore drinking and wound up waking up in towns not knowing how I got there or where I was and other extreme behavior. I have come to see this behavior as a sort of passive suicidality, putting myself in extreme danger while not regognizing it (but think that is what was going on subconsciously).

I did many other things in addtion to AA to get where I am. And I don’t recommend anyone with a problem drinking (regardless of how long ago their last drink was) to attempt to drink socially. I think I am an extreme exception to the rule, with the rule being true that if you can’t control your drinking, if you can’t drink in safety, that you will never be able to do so.

But don’t be jealous, I have more than my share of problems and alchol is basically a non issue for me. I don’t think about it and don’t need it. It’s like artichoke or something to me. I might have some on the rare occasion it’s offered but never crave it and turn it down more often than accept if others are drinking.
 
Bill_7154 said:
I agree with this, and the counselor that got me to recognize I had a problem wasn’t one that said “can you give it up” it was one who said:

Could you have a case of beer in your fridge, and each and every day you would need to drink 2 beers, no more, not less (you see I could drink zero drinks in a day, but couldn’t stop at 2). He said you would have to drink 2 beers and then just go on with whatever your doing, watching TV, whatever. But you couldn’t have a 3rd beer or more. You would have to have 2. You coudn’t have none.

And that made it sunk in for me I had a problem because I knew once I got the feeling from 2 beers it would be basically impossible for me to not continue to have more, especially if they are right there in the fridge.

I have since been cured of my alcohol problem, it was a long time in the making and I used multiple different resources/strategies. I am in the very, very small minority of people who used to drink like a pig but now drink 3-5x/ year, maybe 1/2 glass of beer/wine to a max of maybe 2 drinks, all on special occasions with family. And now since I have a baby I wouldn’t even drink 1/2 a drink despite being 250 lbs, if I were driving, even if 2 hours went by after having the 1/2 drink. I have alcohol in my house, it dosn’t effect me. I can be around others drinking, mostly I don’t want to, it makes me tired.

But for years I attended AA and practiced the 12 steps. I believe that drinking is a way of coping with mental/emotional/spiritual/psychological/soulful problems… and one must dig into those painful area’s and figure out other ways of dealing with them.

At age 19-21 I drank every other day (was too hung over to drink daily) and would drink like a 12 pack AND a pint of hard liquor. And this pattern came on quick. Prior to this I would gather with the guys and maybe drink 1 beer, pouring out another 1-2-3 ‘pretending’ to drink them to avoid being made fun of and to look like I was fitting in and keeping up to some extent to the others.

Then I went to the hardcore drinking and wound up waking up in towns not knowing how I got there or where I was and other extreme behavior. I have come to see this behavior as a sort of passive suicidality, putting myself in extreme danger while not regognizing it (but think that is what was going on subconsciously).

I did many other things in addtion to AA to get where I am. And I don’t recommend anyone with a problem drinking (regardless of how long ago their last drink was) to attempt to drink socially. I think I am an extreme exception to the rule, with the rule being true that if you can’t control your drinking, if you can’t drink in safety, that you will never be able to do so.

But don’t be jealous, I have more than my share of problems and alchol is basically a non issue for me. I don’t think about it and don’t need it. It’s like artichoke or something to me. I might have some on the rare occasion it’s offered but never crave it and turn it down more often than accept if others are drinking.
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I know some people who were problem drinkers who have since become responsible social drinkers, but like you they drank to excess at least partially due to peer pressure. They could drink one or two drinks at their parent’s house or at some other function where they had to behave, and in that case they didn’t feel any need to go off somewhere afterwards and drink to their normal “limit”. They could be around alcohol without drinking to excess, but being around their friends without drinking to excess was something else again! What they needed was not to give up the alcohol, but to give up hanging around with people who were getting drunk. In the OPs case, he at least needs a habit to comfort himself with instead of using beer. Most people never just give up a habit, after all, but rather substitute a good habit for a bad one…water substituting for the beer, or maybe moving the nightly appointment with ESPN to the cardio room at the gym…or even a puzzle, or sudoku. Something even a bit less damaging that you’ll do is better than something perfect that you won’t do!

Their foray into the world of habitual alcohol abuse, though, was a little like eating yourself into an obvious metabolic syndrome type of obesity and hoping you don’t develop a food addiction. The health problems that come from alcohol abuse are very real, even if one doesn’t develop a true physical addiction, and of course even one instance of overdrinking can lead to the sort of bad judgment that you (not to mention others) have to pay for for a lifetime. With regards to the OP, drinking six beers a day is very bad for you, even if you never become an alcoholic! (But the OP knows this.)

As for the 12 Steps, I think if one substitutes “sin” for “alcohol”, it describes what Catholics understand as a normal spiritual life. The difference is that addiction makes the immediate necessity of “the program” much more difficult to deny. Your experience shows how taking care of that interior work has no substitute.
 
I folks, just reading some of your posts. I have been sober for 10 days, and feeling good.
 
mkipp said:
I folks, just reading some of your posts. I have been sober for 10 days, and feeling good.
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Do you plan to continue to stay sober, or are you planning to lay off drinking for a while and then go back to it? Or have you thought about this one way or the other?

Do you think you had/have a problem with alcohol?

Do you have a plan, assuming you plan to stay sober, if you get thoughts of drinking or start drinking again?

There are certainly worse cases of drinkers. But you are you, and you only have your life to live, assuming you want to live it to the fullest, these are questions you might considere contemplating.

God Bless,
Bill
 
Bill_7154 said:
Do you plan to continue to stay sober, or are you planning to lay off drinking for a while and then go back to it? Or have you thought about this one way or the other?

Do you think you had/have a problem with alcohol?

Do you have a plan, assuming you plan to stay sober, if you get thoughts of drinking or start drinking again?

There are certainly worse cases of drinkers. But you are you, and you only have your life to live, assuming you want to live it to the fullest, these are questions you might considere contemplating.

God Bless,
Bill
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I am not sure what I am going to do. For now I will not drink, and even made it through an NFL Sunday without a beer.
 
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