Concerned about my drinking

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mkipp said:
I am concerned for myself as I consume about 6 beers a day, every day. I am not sure why I do it other than to relax but I am concerned that it may be developing into a problem. I am able to do all the things that I need to do and it has not affected my life and I consume the alcohol after work in the evening. I just don’t know if this is normal or too much. I feel embarrassed personally about it, also it has made me gain a lot of weight. I feel guilty about it.
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        No one can tell you whether or not you are an Alcoholic, that has to come from you. The very fact that you are questioning yourself on how much you drink, and feeling guilt over it, there could be a problem. 
        The fact that it is not interfering with  your life means nothing, Acholism is a progressive  disease so if you do have a problem it will only get worse to where it does affect your life in every area.
        You are not in denial if you are questioning your drinking, like others have said you should really consider going to an AA meeting. Listen to those who have accepted their acholism, you may realize you do have a problem or you may realize that you don't, either way it will be a positive step for you. I wish you luck and will pray for you.
 
mkipp said:
I am concerned for myself as I consume about 6 beers a day, every day. I am not sure why I do it other than to relax but I am concerned that it may be developing into a problem. I am able to do all the things that I need to do and it has not affected my life and I consume the alcohol after work in the evening. I just don’t know if this is normal or too much. I feel embarrassed personally about it, also it has made me gain a lot of weight. I feel guilty about it.
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I have 25 years of sobriety and can tell you with over two decades of woking with alchoholics that you need to get help. Find a local AA meeting and start getting on with the rest of your life.
 
Surely you’re aware of the destruction that can come from people drinking too much or at the wrong times. Whether it’s behind the wheel or behind your curtains (or behind the curtains of your daugther’s house if she grows up and marries someone who drinks too much), lives are ruined every day because of drinking.

drug rehab
 
Please get help. The reason you are concerned about your drinking, is that you are still able to think clearly enough to know that what you are doing is a serious problem.
My fear for you, is that if you don’t seek help now, that you will soon reach a stage where your mind will be so much affected that you will no longer be able to recognize your problem for what it is.
Praying for you, & for your family. They deserve a sober husband/father. Give them one.
God bless.
 
OP wrote that his/ her nightly drinking doesn’t keep him/her from doing what s/he wants to to do. i would caution OP against accepting that assertion. OP, ***unless nightly six-pack drinking was always on your bucket list, then your nightly drinking IS keeping you from doing what you want to do. ***

but how much of a problem is it?

test it. try these: aa.org/subpage.cfm?page=71

i think houston’s suggestions are interesting, though they do seem to demonstrate a little too much ***interest and effort ***in normal drinking, overall. if OP (or Houston or AdriannaJean, for that matter,) can’t drink normally (read moderate and disciplined) from here on in, or falls of the ‘moderation’ wagon regularly (or in binge-like fashion) then there’s a probably a problem.

true alcoholic drinking is really demonstrated best by the inability to maintain ‘normal’ drinking. (btw, binge drinking IS failure to maintain normal drinking, only on less regular basis, though often to more spectacularly bad results.)

anyway, good luck. when i got sick and tired of being sick and tired i went to AA. after 26 years sober, i still recommend sobriety.
 
mkipp said:
Thank you Philomeena, what you mention about being impaired if something happened to my daughter is what I was thinking about this morning. I am ashamed that I have got myself in a position of possibly being dependant on alcohol. I want to be good father and husband, and by being impaired that is not what I am doing. Also as a side note, my wife may have a drink or glass of wine in the evening but not every night. She has mentioned that I cannot just have 1 or 2 and that it has to be more, and that I also am putting on weight and am unhealthy and she is worried that I won’t be around long.
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I know what you are going through. I have been sober for three days and all I think about is a beer. I also only drank after work. I would drink 8 to ten beers a night. This is 3.2 beer. I would hide the beer from my family and cover it up. Almost 90% of the time nobody even knew how much I had. Sometimes no one knew at all. So I thought well I am ok I am acting normal. This is why I turned to this web site. Today I am off work and normally by now I would already have had 4 beers. So what I do is spend time on this site to help me stay closer to Jesus. By the time my wife is off work I have made it through another day. Maybe its time to talk to your wife to see if see will support you and also stop drinking. Support is great. Good luck I will pray for you also.
 
estesbob said:
I have 25 years of sobriety and can tell you with over two decades of woking with alchoholics that you need to get help. Find a local AA meeting and start getting on with the rest of your life.
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Beside AA what else seems to work for you?
 
Go_Utes said:
Beside AA what else seems to work for you?
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Daily Mass , Praying the Liturgy of the Hours. It is also impportant that you avoid places you associate with drinking. In my case it meant, among other things, giving up my season tickets to the Houston Rockets-the tempation was too great. I have been sober fo 25 yeas and still ocassionaly have a great desire to drink. The problem you face with long term sobriety is you start forgetting how bad it was.
 
When I was growing up, my parish priest had been an alcoholic. He used to talk about it all the time. He called himself an alcoholic although he had been sober for a long time b/c he felt it was a lifetime tendency to addiction for him, even though he had not drank in a long time.

He frequently preached in sermons about the need to recognize a problem if you think you have one, and try AA. He didn’t see any conflict between AA and the Church. I know AA does not work for everyone but it might be a good place to start.

If you are feeling the need to drink every day and can’t limit your drinking, that sounds like a dependency/addiction problem. I would suggest talking to a priest and trying AA. I think prayer and attending Mass can be very helpful as well. However it is probably important to discuss your situation with someone who has a lot of experience in alcohol dependency/addiction.

One thing you might think about is when the problem started and what changed in your life. It sounds like you are a new parent - is that a source of stress that alcohol is helping with? Are you getting enough sleep? You may be able to find different ways to deal with stress.

And this is easier said than done but - try not to beat yourself up about this. The important thing is to recognize you have an issue and do something about it. Feeling bad about yourself won’t help. It’s not easy to change feelings, but if you can think of it as, this is a problem to work on, rather than, I am a bad person for doing this, it might help.

Good luck to you.
 
estesbob said:
Daily Mass , Praying the Liturgy of the Hours. It is also impportant that you avoid places you associate with drinking. In my case it meant, among other things, giving up my season tickets to the Houston Rockets-the tempation was too great. I have been sober fo 25 yeas and still ocassionaly have a great desire to drink. The problem you face with long term sobriety is you start forgetting how bad it was.
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Thanks today is another day I am feeling so good right now. You almost forget how it feels to feel normal .
 
Dearest Friend and OP:

First off, I think it very brave and admirable you are writing in here, to let us know about your problems. I have done the same and have gotten so many heart-felt responses from really caring people. I hope you do too! I know you will as this is a great site!

I admire you first of all for having the courage to ask/admit such a dilemma here. Because of this, I just KNOW God is going to provide a way of escape for you dear friend and get you out of your alcohol troubles. He says turn to him and He will help you/us. He will.

Do not want to preach, but I must remind you friend of a Bible verse which comes to my mind when writing to you just now. “When I am weak,then I am strong”…II Cor. 1:10.

For really, the Lord is the strong-hold in our life, and Him alone, in this world, I hope you know it, or come to know it dear one. I hope you will trust Him alone for your life, for He has a marvelous plan for you.!!!

He knows you, created you, and has a plan for you.

Love,👍👍👍:):)🙂
Corinne
PS: I pray for all my friends here on Catholic Answers, and I will for you too honey. Let me know if there is anything specifically I can pray for and I will.

God Bless You.
 
If you keep drinking, your precious baby will very likely become or marry and alcoholic or drug addict. What a tragedy! Your family deserves better and you can change now to prevent this. Be the man God wants you to be and make the right choice. Get rid of the alcohol. Pray when you are tempted, get on your knees if necessary. Beg St. Joseph for help. Go to Mass with your wife instead of drinking with her. Offer theses sacrifices for those God and the Blessed Mother places on your heart. This is your path toward holiness. This could make you a saint!
 
So here I am back again reading this old post. I am basically at the same position as before. I toned down the drinking, worked out and lost weight. Now I am back to 6 beers a day or so before anyone gets home, and then a 1 or 2 with my wife. I am not sure why I drink if it is boredom or what it is. Just not sure what to do with myself. I look at the alcohol and it’s affects on the body and the money wasted and it crushes me, but I don’t change. Not sure why writing this, just needed to.
 
Perhaps you are writing this because you want someone to tell you what you already know. You have a problem with alcohol. You drink when no one is home, you drink when your wife is there. And you are not happy about it.

So after a period of time away from your thread, you are back and declaring that other than losing weight, nothing has really changed.

I don’t know if you have already, but perhaps it is time that you look into counseling. Something is bothering you that you try to bury in alcohol. The fact that you have written again seems to mean that you know it is a problem. It’s okay to get help. It’s okay to admit that you don’t know why you do what you do as long as you are willing to do something about it.

Please, for the sake of so many things–your wife, your child, your marriage, your career, and your health–go talk to a professional. Do not make excuses why you cannot, just do it.

May God bless you and guide you.
 
Irishmom2 said:
Perhaps you are writing this because you want someone to tell you what you already know. You have a problem with alcohol. You drink when no one is home, you drink when your wife is there. And you are not happy about it.

So after a period of time away from your thread, you are back and declaring that other than losing weight, nothing has really changed.

I don’t know if you have already, but perhaps it is time that you look into counseling. Something is bothering you that you try to bury in alcohol. The fact that you have written again seems to mean that you know it is a problem. It’s okay to get help. It’s okay to admit that you don’t know why you do what you do as long as you are willing to do something about it.

Please, for the sake of so many things–your wife, your child, your marriage, your career, and your health–go talk to a professional. Do not make excuses why you cannot, just do it.

May God bless you and guide you.
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I agree with this. I have struggled with addiction (not alcohol) and I definitely have “cycled”: sometimes it’s really bad and I know I need help, then I get help, it gets a little better and some of the effects start to wear off, and I “feel fine”, so I sink back into the addiction. Once this pattern became clear to me, I knew that total avoidance is what I needed. But I also needed to get to the root of why the addiction started and why it continued to convince myself why avoidance was so important! Counseling helped immensely and I would encourage this for you as well. 🙂
 
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It does sound like you need help with stopping the excessive drinking. Please don’t let shame or embarassment keep you from getting help and support.

I read a long ago that the only difference between a rut and a grave is the depth of the hole. You can change the habits that are keeping you trapped. I hope you chose to do so.

God bless you, you’re in my prayers.
 
Hi,

I am glad that you are cutting back and seem to want to quit it altogether. My advice would be to seek help with AA and a Psychiatrist. A Psychiatrist can help you with behavioral changes as well as prescribe medication that can reduce cravings for alcohol like Naltrexone or Acamprosate.

In the meantime continue to try and discern your drinking triggers and find ways to circumvent those. Do you drink when you are bored? Find a hobby that you can do instead.

Good luck.
 
I am in therapy working through depression adn anxiety issues. Boredom is an issue, during lent I worked out everyday and only had a few drinks on the weekend, I lost a ton of weight and looked great. Not sure what happened, now I have no ambition to work out and feel terrible. I want to feel good like that again. I just feel so lost.
 
mkipp said:
I am in therapy working through depression adn anxiety issues. Boredom is an issue, during lent I worked out everyday and only had a few drinks on the weekend, I lost a ton of weight and looked great. Not sure what happened, now I have no ambition to work out and feel terrible. I want to feel good like that again. I just feel so lost.
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I am glad to see that you are in therapy. Sometimes, we all need a little help to see what is wrong. I suspect that since you have stopped working out, your body is reacting to it’s lack of physical activity though. They say that the endorphins that you receive from working out will cause you to feel better, and you have taken that away by not exercising. Still, I understand that if you are depressed, you don’t exactly feel like doing it. But it is sort of a cycle. You need to get back to it, even if you start small.

Please try to bring your worries and concerns to God. Perhaps something more than just Sunday Mass. It will be a boost in your mental well being. Try and give thanks for the small everyday blessings and not the things in your way. Reach out to others. Surround yourself with positive (non-drinking) people. Pick a project that needs to be done and throw yourself into it. If you lack the skills, learn them. Take a class. Do something to break up your boredom–but something that is a positive thing that will lift you up.

May God bless you and guide you.
 
mkipp said:
I am in therapy working through depression adn anxiety issues. Boredom is an issue, during lent I worked out everyday and only had a few drinks on the weekend, I lost a ton of weight and looked great. Not sure what happened, now I have no ambition to work out and feel terrible. I want to feel good like that again. I just feel so lost.
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The same old approach over and over will not help. If it failed to sober you up the last 50 attempts, it probably will fail on the 51st try. So try a new method. If I wanted to quit something that was removable from my premises then I’d remove it and focus on a new God oriented addiction to replace it like addiction to charity, and if fear of people holds us back from that at least we can pray and hand out our beer money to street people as McDonalds gift cards. That first part of that idea would not work for an eating disorder because you cannot remove food from your life. But in your case you can at least stop buying alcohol and drugs. If you cannot avoid that then turn all the finances over to your wife as well as the car keys so you have no way to buy it. Do something. Are you going to call a so-called drinking buddy now? He’s no friend, cut yourself off from that person. Are you going to golf and run into booze at the tourny in late summer? Then quit the golf league. Do we fret and worry and check stats and posts about everything online? Maybe the internet is a time-suck. Try some elimination of internet presence. Then there is a lot of space and time to go hiking, play with children, shop for & cook healthy food with your wife who now has the car and purse strings. So much better.
 
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