Confessing serious vs. venial sins

[smithm29]

…What happened today prompted me to ask this question. I committed a venial sin and the thing is that it happened more or less automatically, out of habit, and before I knew it I had already done it. I immediately asked for forgiveness and did so again at Mass before I received Holy Communion. I think it’s forgiven but should I still bring it up at my next confession? …

Make sure you’re really committing a sin before accusing yourself of it. Recognize that we will always be tempted, and the temptation itself is not a sin. Our reaction is sin or virtue.

It’s summer right now and I’d wager that the majority of young, attractive women where I live are showing too much skin. My eyes are naturally (due to a biological impulse to breed) and spiritually (due to my weak nature and the tricks of the devil) drawn to those bodies. At that point, I’ve committed no sin. As soon as I realize what I’m doing, do I avert my eyes and possibly say a short prayer (Immaculate Mary, pray for me), or do I let my eyes linger? One of those is a sin, the other isn’t. The automatic, habitual glance is nature and by itself is neither sinful nor virtuous.

I recently returned to the Church after several years away. Part of the reason that I left in the first place was an incorrect way of looking at my sin. If I happened to glance at an attractive woman (or felt pride or arrogance seeping in, among a thousand other examples), I automatically felt as if I had sinned. I didn’t recognize them as temptations, so I failed to ask God for help overcoming them. Over time, I was just defeated by my sin- I gave up because I failed to recognize temptation for what it was.

 

[Bookcat]

That was going to be my next question how detailed it should be. Let’s say for argument’s sake that I lied to someone. Should I just say I lied to, for example my mother, or should I also say what the lie was? I’m guessing the former?

Only need details that change the nature of the sin…make something ordinarily venial into mortal…or it changes the nature like…on steals an expensive gold cup …well one needs to add that it was the CHALICE from Church! (a detail that makes it sacrilege as well as grave theft)

Lying under oath in court…(grave matter) is one thing…

lying in a small way to a friend is another…

 

[Xandria]

Thanks, got it!

 

[ElizabethPH]

On way…

Begin with the sign of the Cross…

then "I am married …it has been 1 week since my last confession (or my last confession was last Saturday)…I accuse my self of X Y Z (if mortal one needs to say number and kind…murder 2 times…and then end "and I accuse myself of past sins of perjury and murder and all the sins of my life…then Father talks with you…and gives a penance…which you accept …and then he asks you to make an act of contrition…which can be your own words…but of course you are contrite and have a firm purpose of amendment…he gives you absolution …and tells you are forgiven etc…and you say His mercy endures forever…and then he says something and you say thanks be to God…and then thank father…and leave in joy

I use the Bless me Father for I have sinned formula. That includes at the end of confessing your sins the words “For these and all the sins of my life I am sorry” it doesn’t have to be those words exactly but something like it.

It’s the first time I’ve heard of giving your marital status though.

 

[Bookcat]

I use the Bless me Father for I have sinned formula. That includes at the end of confessing your sins the words “For these and all the sins of my life I am sorry” it doesn’t have to be those words exactly but something like it.

It’s the first time I’ve heard of giving your marital status though.

Yes the Priest should know this…or if one is a religious or has vows …(at least that would effect the confession)

 

[ElizabethPH]

Yes the Priest should know this…or if one is a religious or has vows …(at least that would effect the confession)

Where did you hear this? I’ve never heard of it. Why should the priest know this? Effect the confession how? Is there a difference in murdering (or some other grave sin) if your single opposed to being married or religious?

 

[FrDavid96]

We are not required to confess venial sins in confession but are encouraged to do so (which is what I’m planning to do starting with my 2nd confession). But still, technical question:

If I were to confess only the serious sins and no venial or only some of the venial sins I’m aware of, would they still all be forgiven in confession?

Also, I have just learned that receiving Christ in the eucharist forgives our venial sins. Can you please explain to me then the difference between the forgiveness through the eucharist and the one through confession?

Thanks!

Xandria,
I just saw your question. I’m going to limit myself strictly to responding to the questions you asked (that are quoted above), because I don’t participate in threads that deal with individual person’s confessions. I started to respond to your question before I read the rest of this thread, but decideded to continue to respond anyway, while limiting myself to your original questions.

First of all, it’s not necessary to confess every venial sin–indeed, it wouldn’t even be possible. We should confess our “more serious” venial sins or those that are particularly troublesome to us (like if we have a habit of the same sin), but it’s not strictly necessary to confess them all. This will make more sense when I respond to the second half…

We can be forgiven of our venial sins in many ways: prayer, acts of mercy, receiving Communion, etc. However, the only way that we can be certain that we’ve been forgiven is throught the Sacrament of Confession. In Confession, we are both forgiven and absolved. Forgiven means that our sins have been “removed” by God. Absolution means that we are reconciled to God and the Church. The only way we can ever be absolved is through Confession. Christ gave the apostles the power to both forgive (“whose sins you forgive are forgiven…”) and to absolve (“you are Peter…the keys to the Kingdom…whatever you bind on earth…”).

Venial sins (usually) don’t rise to the level of seperating us from God and the Church to the point that we need to be restored. Mortal sins do exactly this. The wound from venial sins is not so great that we are no longer a part of the life of God and the Church (though this is still possible if those venial sins are extreme).

We still need confession, even for venial sins, because we are still in need of healing and reconciliation to God and the Church, because even though we can be forgiven at any time, the actual reconciling only occurs in the Sacrament of Confession, when the priest absolves. So, a venial sin does not prevent us from receiving Communion, but it still wounds us, and we still need that healing.

All sin hurts the community/communion that is the Body of Christ–the Church, so while God may (and does) forgive us for our venial sins outside of Sacramental Confession, we still need that sacramental confession-and-forgiveness-and-absolution to heal the wounds that our venial sins have caused to our relationship with God and the Church. That’s why sacramental confession is always so much better than the other forms of forgiveness. Other forms (like receiving Christ in the Eucharist) will bring about forgiveness, but not complete reconciliation. That complete reconciliation can only come through the Sacrament of Confession. That’s the difference.

I hope this helps.

 

[baltobetsy]

X Venial sins (usually) don’t rise to the level of seperating us from God and the Church to the point that we need to be restored. Mortal sins do exactly this. The wound from venial sins is not so great that we are no longer a part of the life of God and the Church (though this is still possible if those venial sins are extreme).

Fr. David, could you please elaborate on this and possibly give an example?

Thanks,
Betsy

 

[FrDavid96]

Fr. David, could you please elaborate on this and possibly give an example?

Thanks,
Betsy

I admit I’m having a hard time coming up with a concrete example. Let’s say that someone commits venial sins with complete disregard, and does so as a long-time habit, and without any repentance whatsoever. Living such a lifestyle would have the same ultimate consequences as mortal sin, even though none of the individual acts would meet the definition of mortal sin. I’m talking about someone in the extreme here, and that’s an important point. I wasn’t trying to say that several venial sins can equal a mortal sin like we can trade a roll of quarters and get a ten dollar bill.

What I was trying not-to-say was that if one is guilty of only what would be termed objectively venial sins, then such a person is incapable of separating himself from God’s graces. That’s why I added the part in parentheses.

Now that I look back on it, I regret adding that qualification to my original post because I am concerned about a scrupulous reader reading too much into it. My reason for writing that in the first place, was to avoid saying that we have some kind of license to commit venial sins, or that we don’t have to be overly concerned about them. Unfortunately, it came out the wrong way.

 

[ElizabethPH]

Where did you hear this? I’ve never heard of it. Why should the priest know this? Effect the confession how? Is there a difference in murdering (or some other grave sin) if your single opposed to being married or religious?

Disregard this; no one responded anyway. I asked my priest, which I should have done in the first place; he got right back to me.

Thanks Bookcat

 

[GaryTaylor]

I remember going to school and the conversations and instruction from the Nuns. Back in the day, they actually told us to make a mental list of each venial sin. And to confess them as honestly as possible.

I just wanted to mention this. That I don’t think the intention was to go to confession then and accuratly confess each and every venial sin from a mental list in order. Though its probably not right for me to assume. Yet I’ve put much thought into this.

The thinking was to build good tools to carry with you in life. To bring you closer to God, minute by minute, day by day, month by month and year by year. To make you more aware of your actions thought by thought. At least this is what I now believe what was actually happening. Back then we simply had “Blind Faith” and we did what were told. Regarless of how you felt about it. Rarely did you ever hear anyone ask “why”. Matter of fact I don’t recall anyone ever challenging any direction from the Nuns.

But anyway as far as your thoughts on how you get on the Fathers “nerves” so to speak, why not ask him if he will speak to you outside the confessional? Get to know him a bit, and let him get to know you a bit. I’m positive this will change that situation of anticipated feelings.

But I’m just hoping to give you another point of view. I understand some things have changed in the church since my generation was in grammer school. If anything in a post I post helps you? Than thats great, mission accomplished. If it you dosen’t apply to you or you simply don’t see it as right? Thats OK, I’m OK with that. I don’t profess to be a scholar on the Catholic Faith. I’m simply a Catholic born into this faith from a time past. Thus a different point of view.

I could tell you this though. I just last week talked to friend of mine who belongs to Holy Rosary Church which is acoss town from me. We had a brief conversation about Confession and the Confessional. I was told that Holy Rosary doesn’t list confession hours in their monthly missile anymore and that their doesn’t seem to be as much emphasis placed on confessing in the confessional as past times? Now across town at St Michaels {which I belong} the monthly missile does list the “daily” hours for confession early morning with a Mass that follows every morning. There may well be a slight difference in emphasis from parish to parish, and traditional versus the modern church. Yet the basic fundamental teachings of repetitive execution are the same. The Holy Rosary Parish is also now gaining a favorable following from the younger generation. While St. Michaels has an elderly following. Anyway thats the very last converstaion and take my friend and I have had. But hey, whatever works as far as drawing a following to the Faith.

Anyway Good Morning and God Bless, GT

BTW if anything I typed is repetitive, I’m sorry about that. I didn’t do an indepth reading of all the posts. Really just talking off the top of my head.

 

[Beeline]

I admit I’m having a hard time coming up with a concrete example. Let’s say that someone commits venial sins with complete disregard, and does so as a long-time habit, and without any repentance whatsoever. Living such a lifestyle would have the same ultimate consequences as mortal sin, even though none of the individual acts would meet the definition of mortal sin. I’m talking about someone in the extreme here, and that’s an important point. I wasn’t trying to say that several venial sins can equal a mortal sin like we can trade a roll of quarters and get a ten dollar bill.

What I was trying not-to-say was that if one is guilty of only what would be termed objectively venial sins, then such a person is incapable of separating himself from God’s graces. That’s why I added the part in parentheses.

Now that I look back on it, I regret adding that qualification to my original post because I am concerned about a scrupulous reader reading too much into it. My reason for writing that in the first place, was to avoid saying that we have some kind of license to commit venial sins, or that we don’t have to be overly concerned about them. Unfortunately, it came out the wrong way.

perhaps a building pattern of alcohol and/or drug use.
building anger issues
building spousal abuse

each of these may start as an acorn.

 

[Xandria]

Thanks, David! Your explanations are very helpful. So, just to make sure, if I only bring up some the venial sins I’m aware of in confession, nevertheless all are forgiven? Do I have to add a phrase asking for this or not?

 

[Xandria]

Thanks, GT. Your thoughts are very appreciated. When you’re new to the Catholic faith it can be bit overwhelming. There is so much to learn and understand.

 

[FrDavid96]

Thanks, David! Your explanations are very helpful. So, just to make sure, if I only bring up some the venial sins I’m aware of in confession, nevertheless all are forgiven? Do I have to add a phrase asking for this or not?

Yes. When we go to confession, all of our sins are forgiven and absolved (provided that we do make a good confession–and I won’t repeat what’s already been said here).

We should not intentionally not-confess venial sins though. If one is aware of a sin, even a venial one, it should still be confessed.

You don’t “need” to say that you’re sorry for all your past sins, but it doesn’t hurt either–in fact, it’s a good thing. It’s also good from a purely practical point of view, because when you say something like this, it’s an indicator to the priest that you’re finished.

 

[GwenL]

I also don’t want to get on the priest’s nerves. Only a small number of people are going to confession anymore and I’m not sure if he would be irritated if I came in regularly and accused myself of a number of venial sins (perhaps and hopefully only venial sins). QUOTE]

I had a similar thought. I’m a new Catholic, and have started out by going to confession every two weeks. Even the venial sins tend to stack up, and I’ve found that the grace from absolution is helping me to break the cycle of some of my “favorite” venial sins. I asked one of our priests this same question (won’t you get irritated? won’t I be wasting your time?), but in a slightly different context. Confessions are scheduled on Saturday afternoon, and I’ve had some classes that prevent me from making confession. I don’t want to go for three or four weeks between confessions, and asked the priest if it would be bothering him too much to do a weekday “confession by appointment” to keep on my plan, even if it was only venial sins. He was absolutely overjoyed that someone wants to come to confession every two weeks.

I do a short examination of conscience every night and a longer one before confession. I try to confess every venial sin that I can remember. Having to confess the seeminly endless repeats serves to force me to think harder about them.

 

[jmcrae]

Thanks! So I guess the answer remains the same: Not neccessary but highly recommended. Since my first confession last week I’m doing a quick examination of conscience everyday and am finding that I’m much more aware of my sins than before, even though I tried to live good as well then.

What happened today prompted me to ask this question. I committed a venial sin and the thing is that it happened more or less automatically, out of habit, and before I knew it I had already done it. I immediately asked for forgiveness and did so again at Mass before I received Holy Communion. I think it’s forgiven but should I still bring it up at my next confession?

One rule of thumb (not the only one, by a long shot) is, if you have no mortal sins to Confess, pick your three most bothersome venial sins, and confess those. Otherwise, restrict yourself to confessing your mortal sin or sins, so as to keep the focus on the important things.

I wasn’t taught that phrase. I was told to say and also read that I should say “These are all my sins. I’m asking for penance and absolution.”

There are many different ways to signify that you have finished your Confession of sins, and another one is to say, “For these and for all the sins of my life I am truly sorry.”

 

[Xandria]

This is great, Gwen!

I’m actually looking forward to my next and 2nd confession. When I was absolved of my sins for the first time last Saturday and had my first communion and penal indulgence the day after, I felt so clean. Then, during the week, as the first venial sins started, I felt despite asking for forgiveness, a bit muddy. Like I spilled something on a new white shirt. Can’t wait for my next spiritual shower!

 

[GwenL]

Then, during the week, as the first venial sins started, I felt despite asking for forgiveness, a bit muddy. Like I spilled something on a new white shirt.

Xandria, I feel the same way. A priest of Opus Dei recommended to me every two weeks “to clean off the barnacles.”

One rule of thumb (not the only one, by a long shot) is, if you have no mortal sins to Confess, pick your three most bothersome venial sins, and confess those. Otherwise, restrict yourself to confessing your mortal sin or sins, so as to keep the focus on the important things.

jmcrae, I disagree with your rule of thumb. For me, at least, this would lead to “gaming the system.” I would likely pick the three venial sins that I want to confess, not the three I need to confess, after rationalizing my choices . I perfer to confess them all–this gives me no opportunity to be weak and pick and choose. Since I’m going to confession every two weeks, I find that I don’t have a giant list. Of course, if you have mortal sins, you must confess those. But I’d still add in the venial sins. I think they are usually connected, and if you are going to ask for some advice, you need to give the priest the big picture.

 

[jmcrae]

jmcrae, I disagree with your rule of thumb. For me, at least, this would lead to “gaming the system.” I would likely pick the three venial sins that I want to confess, not the three I need to confess, after rationalizing my choices . I perfer to confess them all–this gives me no opportunity to be weak and pick and choose. Since I’m going to confession every two weeks, I find that I don’t have a giant list. Of course, if you have mortal sins, you must confess those. But I’d still add in the venial sins. I think they are usually connected, and if you are going to ask for some advice, you need to give the priest the big picture.

Whatever works for you - in my case, it pays off to focus on the three that I commit most often, since in general, these tend to be the “root cause” of everything else. But if you find for yourself that that doesn’t work, then of course, you need to do what works!