Confession / Act of Contrition.... Who are we kidding?

[EasterJoy]

Wrong. We do not promise to stop sinning. What we do is firmly resolve to stop sinning. Big difference. And that’s not kidding God; one can indeed genuinely firmly resolve to stop sinning, even though you know full well that you will most likely sin again. That’s why we resolve, with God’s grace, never on our own.

Exactly. I went into every exam I ever took fully intending to get 100%. Now, when I had prepared poorly, that was ridiculous, but it was still my intention.

Vince Lombardi put it something like this: We can never reach perfection, but it is only by aspiring to perfection that we will ever reach excellence.

Back to the exam analogy: I had a professor that was disappointed if any of his students got 100%, even though he only asked questions that his course could have realistically prepared us for. “Ah”, he would apologize, “I failed to challenge you. I resolve to do better next time.”

Alas, I do not think that is the problem that the Lord has in my education.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Obviously we cannot deceive God.


We can be disgusted and hate our sins and still commit them. No better example of this is in the area of personal sexual sins. My point is that we as Catholics are put in the impossible position of telling God that we “won’t do it again”… When we know that we probably will…* eventually*.

We may very well commit them again, but we should not want or expect to commit them again.

 

[melinda_s]

for myself i promise to do my best not to do it again even though i’m often back confessing the same thing the next time:blush:

 

[Chancellor]

Saint Francis said, “BEGIN AGAIN”. By this he meant that we are always turning back to Christ to start over.

I think maybe its like the movis “Groundhog Day” (highly recommended) where Bill Murray wakes up to the same day over and over again and little by little starts to get things right.

I am now at an age where I can look back over several decades in my life. I’m still a mess in many ways but there are also sins and problems that I struggled with for many many years that have, thank God, been resolved.

I think St Francis had it right. Begin Again. Start over. We know that the next time we won’t get it perfect but over time with prayer, work and the Grace of God we will grow and heal and improve.

Never give up.

 

[ASD]

Scruples of exactly this kind, questions about how Confession can work, are what drove Luther nuts. Until his great moment in the cloaca: Sacramental “works” don’t work.

Hence, the Baltimore Catechism says that we’re not supposed to be “scrupulous,” constantly worrying about whether our Confession is adequate. We’re supposed to do our best, trust and move on.

ASD​

Traditional Latin Mass: Translation and Grammar

 

[Seeking12]

After confessing our sins, we say an Act of Contrition.
We tell God that we are going to stop sinning when we know darn well that it’s not true no matter how sorry we really are. Who are we kidding?

Abstaining from sin completely will not be the perfection of your life, but it should be the pattern and direction of your life; only if you are truly empowered by God will that happen.

 

[Til2morrow]

I personally got a mixed message from you when you said “no matter how sorry we really are”. . . “Who are we kidding?”.
First it is encouraging to read that phrase about being sorry. This means to me that you do have within your heart a sense of fault for your sinfulness–this is very important. The question of who we are kidding is really a non-question because the answer is obviously no one, including the priest–especially if he is your regular confessor. I think one should try to prepare better over a period of time prior to entering into the confessional. If you are not ready do not go to confession then you should not go. Of course this means that one should really stop taking communion as well. The Sacrament of the Eucharist has lost its effacacy since knowing prior to your confession that you do not have a well defined sincerity in your intention to stop this sin. You may exit the confessional with an Absolution from the priest however, even that Absolution is based on, well, lying to God, the priest and even to yourself. No Grace is extend even through the act of Contrition and Absolution.There is no effect, therefore receiving Communion has no effect either-you are probably not in a state of Grace.(only God knows if we live in a state of Grace or not, but we can be certain if we are true to ourselves about our sinfulness)
I would suggest that since you stated you are generally really sorry, that you be more contemplative and prayerful for a period of time prior to going back to the confessional. Return to the Sacrament when you sincerely believe that you are ready to make a honest attempt at not repeating that particular sin that draws you to confess in the first place. Perhaps a spiritual director can help you, if you see that it is really a problem for you. I realize that the Church requires us to make regular confessions which enable us to participate in one of the greatest, loving acts ever–Communion. However, if we deny ourselves something of such importance for a time while we begin to find a way to heal ourselves together with the Sacrament of Reconcilliation then perhaps it is worth it. Since, again, taking communion under such circumstances is also a sin, that is without effacacy, empty. I know that this all sounds very drawn out and time consuming, but we are discussing personal salvation and sanctification–it is one of the most important things we have the opportunity to avail ourselves of. Christ shed his blood for us for this specific purpose so it is no light matter. I also believe that we all need to begin to forgive ourselves as well for our sinfulness. What I mean is that if it is our intention to sincerely try to stop committing a particular sin, we should first forgive ourselves. This places us in the prayerfully receptive state to go before God with a heart of true Contrition. It doesn’t sound like you suffer at all from scrupulousity since you seem to state things as they really are rather than being uncertain of whether or not your sins are truely being forgiven. The fact is, regardless of what the priest says or does, if you lack the INTENT to be repenting, sincerely sorry, and are truly promise to strongly attempt not do it again it is an empty Sacrament without effacacy, therefore a waste of time and perhaps even a sinful use of the Sacrament in the first place.
So, do some soul searching, prepare yourself prayerfully, deny yourself the Sacrament of Communion and go to confession when you are really ready to.
Go as well with the peace of the Love of Christ for He knows your heart and I might add go in the peace of knowing that every time you participate in any Sacrament you are participating in an act of personal and corporate love–that is–you go not alone. Your brothers and sisters in Christ are with you.
In His Fraternal Love,
Til2morrow

 

[de_profundis]

Obviously we cannot deceive God.


We can be disgusted and hate our sins and still commit them. No better example of this is in the area of personal sexual sins. My point is that we as Catholics are put in the impossible position of telling God that we “won’t do it again”… When we know that we probably will…* eventually*.

I think you hit the nail on the head there. In the act of contrition you are meant to resolve not to commit those sins again, not to say ‘I will not commit them again’. In the area of personal sexual sin, regular confession can be incredibly effective - so long as you are genuinely contrite each time you confess of course.

If you try to be as scrupulous as possible in examining your conscience, then whatever sin you are having trouble with may prevent you from recieving communion on a weekly basis - which should give you even more resolve not to commit the sin in question.

Try to keep a tally in your head of how many times you have committed that sin too… then each occasion will weigh on your mind more, and contrition will come more naturally.

 

[DominicVobiscum]

Only thing we have to commit to, is to try to avoid the sin in the future. The priest (and certainly God also) knows that some sins may take years or a lifetime to overcome.

 

[Thais]

I agree with most explanations given, if not all. However, there is one very important detail missing (unless I skipped something):
You may find me naive, but I do believe that it is entirely possible to never sin again, even though probably the most challenging thing in life, but still possible, not because we humans can do it naturally, but because God can give us the grace to avoid sin until the day we die.
I never expected to see so many answers showing some sort of implicit consensus and acceptance of the “inevitability” of sin.

Maybe I have totally misunderstood Catholic theology ever since I reverted back to the Church about 5 years ago, but I have since then firmly believed in the main objective I have set for myself as a person: to attain sanctification. To become a saint, to let God take me to a point where I won’t ever sin again.

Of course, I haven’t gotten there yet, but I want to die at least trying! And in all honesty, no false humility, this resolve and belief has helped me get a lot better than I ever thought possible earlier in life.

Am I the one missing something here?? Or could this be the reason for the current state of the Church: that most of us Catholics don’t even fully believe what we preach anymore?
I’ll have to go search through my catechism.

 

[Sailor_Kenshin]

After confessing our sins, we say an Act of Contrition.
We tell God that we are going to stop sinning when we know darn well that it’s not true no matter how sorry we really are. Who are we kidding?

We INTEND to stop, but we’re weak. At least I am.

 

[Thais]

I have since then firmly believed in the main objective I have set for myself as a person: to attain sanctification. To become a saint, to let God take me to a point where I won’t ever sin again.

Just clarifying that I do realize that becoming a saint and not sinning anymore are not synonyms. Most canonized saints sinned until the day they died, always fully repenting, and struggling with new sins (more subtle sins usually), etc.

That’s what I want for myself, but more than that, I fully desire to not ever sin again. And again, I do believe it is possible. This is really distressing.

The Blessed Mother never sinned. Why can’t I one day stop sinning, period?
I know she was spared the stain of original sin, so it was “easier” for her, but she still had to have more of God’s grace to remain free of sin. After all, Adam and Eve did not have the stain of original sin and they still sinned.

 

[invadersomeone]

Lord Jesus Christ, Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner.

---

Probably simplest act of contrition and usually what I try to use unless there is specific thing I want to mention then I make one up. But yeah I don’t say anything about stopping being a sinner just to have mercy on me since it isn’t really possible to not sin.

 

[Pug]

That’s what I want for myself, but more than that, I fully desire to not ever sin again. And again, I do believe it is possible. This is really distressing.

It is indeed possible not to sin mortally again. We must believe this. God gives Christians enough grace so that it is possible to observe the commandments. When we are in friendship with him, he gives us enough grace to stay that way. But I wouldn’t stake any bet on being able to stay out of venial sin forever. That would require a special privilege from God.

 

[Cluny]

We tell God that we are going to stop sinning when we know darn well that it’s not true no matter how sorry we really are. Who are we kidding?

Speak for yourself, TML.

 

[Thais]

It is indeed possible not to sin mortally again. We must believe this. God gives Christians enough grace so that it is possible to observe the commandments. When we are in friendship with him, he gives us enough grace to stay that way. But I wouldn’t stake any bet on being able to stay out of venial sin forever. That would require a special privilege from God.

Thank you. I just found something in the Catechism, it really seems you are right. I meant all sin earlier, including venial sins. But now it seems that, although we may be able to get awfully close to having 0 (zero) venial sins, one or another will eventually slip through, even if after longer and longer periods of time. Maybe like a hyperbole “tending” towards a limit of zero, but never quite there.

I guess the holier one gets, the easier it will be for them to detect sins in their conscience examination. And I guess if we ever got to a point where we can detect all and every single sin in order to avoid it, we would have already crossed the line of scruple?

Thinking about it now, for a human to be able to avoid all and every venial sin, they would need to not only have the strength and proper desire, but also the brain power, intelligence and speed to detect it before the fact. Maybe that’s why scruple is bad, because we just can’t handle it with our limited brains, it would drive us nuts. In Heaven, all will be revealed, we won’t be under the corruption of sin anymore, and our brains will be able to handle it.

CCC (including St. Augustine quote - #135):

1863
Venial sin weakens charity; it manifests a disordered affection for created goods; it impedes the soul’s progress in the exercise of the virtues and the practice of the moral good; it merits temporal punishment. Deliberate and unrepented venial sin disposes us little by little to commit mortal sin. However venial sin does not break the covenant with God. With God’s grace it is humanly reparable. "Venial sin does not deprive the sinner of sanctifying grace, friendship with God, charity, and consequently eternal happiness."134

While he is in the flesh, man cannot help but have at least some light sins. But do not despise these sins which we call “light”: if you take them for light when you weigh them, tremble when you count them. A number of light objects makes a great mass; a number of drops fills a river; a number of grains makes a heap. What then is our hope? Above all, confession. . . .135

 

[Pug]

I guess the holier one gets, the easier it will be for them to detect sins in their conscience examination. And I guess if we ever got to a point where we can detect all and every single sin in order to avoid it, we would have already crossed the line of scruple

The holier one gets, I bet the person develops more good habits like prudence and temperance and just plain doing the right thing without having to think much about it. Take me. Every night I still have to choose to make an examination of conscience. Having to choose gives me the opportunity to choose not to. But if I would choose to do it every day for 6 months, I bet I would just do it out of habit, without having to choose very often. Sort of like morning prayers, which I don’t choose about. I do still choose about how well to do them, though. Maybe that sort of thing lightens the mental load of it all as you get better habits. I’ve read, though, in some spiritual books that as you become “proficient” in prayer and stuff that you become more at risk for certain types of sins, maybe pride type ones. Though, maybe it is just that once you get rid of enough junk that you can now see the other junk underneath.

In case you are interested, I pulled part of what I said in my previous post out of the council of Trent. (I am inordinately fond of it.) Here is a link for you to the sixth session from it. Chapter XI is on your topic. So is canon 23. Here is a cut from XI:

For though during this mortal life, men, however holy and just, fall at times into at least light and daily sins, which are also called venial, they do not on that account cease to be just,

Here is a cut from 23:

…all sins, even those that are venial, except by a special privilege from God…

Maybe those will lure you into reading those parts…

Pug <---- Trying to spread my Trent madness

 

[Til2morrow]

I believe and through study have confirmed what the Church teaches concerning our sinfulness. While it is true that, through the Grace of God,. we are able to avoid Mortal Sins IF we live our lives very closely linked to the Ten Commandments. Venial sins are of a different nature. It is true that left unchecked be become slaves, even unknowingly, or naively to venial sin and indeed this breaking down of our barriars can indeed lead us unto even Mortal Sin. One important aspect in all of this discussion is to remember that, most likely, there isn’t or wasn’t a Saint who lived that didn’t suffer a one point from Scrupulosity–which is over-burdening ourselves with the idea that we must not sin, we must not sin. If one continues sincerely to avoid sin this is what we are asked to do, but we should not let it become something that weighs too heavy on our souls. If this becomes an obsession then we are or have fallen into scrupulosity a grave sin in itself. Venial sins are acts that are contrary to reason–I find it hard to believe that any of us are unable to avoid being contrary to reason at some point even in our every day lives let alone for the rest of our lives. Let us be sincere in our charity toward others, our love for God and try our best to be in communion with Christ through the help and power of the Holy Spirit and if we are under the impression we have sinned,. let us confess and make it right with God and The Body of Christ. Regular confession, by the way, is not and should not be considered scrupulosity–it is being realistic about our humanness and that we are sinners. Oh one last thing perhaps we should throw into the discussion is that it is probably true that all of us will face some time in further “purification” upon our earthly death. Even though we have asked and have been forgiven our sins we will face at least some time in purgatory, but fear not this means we are indeed going in the right direction as it were.
Til2morrow

 

[Hypothesis]

I have a question that disturbs me. I have been a protestant for 13 years. Since the age of 14. I am seriously considering joining the catholic church. I am worried about the first confession deal. It would not be possible for me to remember all of the mortal sins I committed in 13 years or for that matter the number of times I committed them…all jokes aside, what is a person to say? I masturbated 432 times, committed lust 134 times, fornication 23 times (and no I didn’t really count)…I don’t understand. Is there some way a person upon joining the church can say I am sorry for all my sins and I am going to try really hard since becoming a member of Christs’ church to not commit these mortal sins ever again…I couldn’t imagine the penance for that…

thanks.

 

[Til2morrow]

It does indeed seem a daunting task to attempt to recall a life-time fo sinfulness! Not to worry. It is not necessary. First, calm down and try to use you mature sense of reason. Why do you think you have sinned? You should know this: for sin to be considered a Mortal sin it is necessary that you are fully and completely knowledgeable and aware that the act that you have committed is an act in opposition to God’s love and law. You must have committed the act with such deliberate cause that it was your choice to commit the sin being fully and completely aware of what you were doing was wrong. Normally when a person either has not been versed in church matters nor has had any form of preparation either in family or more formal preparation, it is almost impossible that one considers the acts they are committing to be sinnful.Remember however, that you cannot attempt to fake, as it were, ignorance. God knows the content of our hearts. Unintentional ignorance however, can diminish or even wipe away that act as counting against one who is sincerely unknowledgeable on such matters. Another warning however, if you have ever felt the least bit guilting for something that you have done and may now consider it to have been sinful, I would offer it up to God for his loving mercy and forgiveness. How many times is less important than saying that you have in fact committed an act for which you are sincerely ashamed and sorry and wish to open your heart to God’s unyielding forgiveness. Remember as well, that technically anyone who has a contrite heart should know that God has actually already forgiven you because He loves you. What he would like to hear from you is your self honesty and your trust in His wisdom and mercy. Be not afraid of confession. Do not enter into the newness of Life in Christ with a heavy and laden heart. Be sincere and if in a subsequent confession you feel that you have forgotten something that you would like to get off your chest offer it up to Him who is all present and all forgiving. God wishes all His children to return to Him, He is on your side and with you especially as you come forward to present yourself to Him in loving trust. Go in the peace of God to confession and I personally pray that you find peace.
In His Fraternal Love and Mercy,
Til2morrow