Confession/advice/guidance

[Skittles73]

I do not know if I am in the right place or not, so please forgive me if this is wrong.
It seems that I have been on a quest lately and my goal is to “become one with God,” so to speak. However, I need to learn a whole lot more than what I already know about God. In doing this, I also have to learn about myself too. In all honesty, I do not know which is harder. To know God or to know myself. I feel lost.
I am trying to get motivated and start going back to Church and yes, it is hard. I have been absent for many years! I want to go to confession, to get it all off my chest, but am scared too. I do not know if I am scared of facing God, or if I fear talking to a priest. I am a very private person and I have not opened up to anyone in many years. I do not know how to open up. At the same time, I want to talk, I want to feel again. I am tired of feeling all alone. I do not know if I can trust one person enough to open up like that. At the same time, I want to find a person that I confide in enough to possibly be my spiritual advisor and help me along the way to my end goal stated above.
I feel completely lost and I am embarrassed to be posting this, but do not know where to turn. I am an unattached 42 year old and have no one close enough to me to help me out. I have family, but do not want to discuss certain things with them. Just confused right now. Any advice?

 

[robertmidwest]

What is your prayer life like?

What are you reading?

 

[Don_Ruggero]

I do not know if I am in the right place or not, so please forgive me if this is wrong.
It seems that I have been on a quest lately and my goal is to “become one with God,” so to speak. However, I need to learn a whole lot more than what I already know about God. In doing this, I also have to learn about myself too. In all honesty, I do not know which is harder. To know God or to know myself. I feel lost.
I am trying to get motivated and start going back to Church and yes, it is hard. I have been absent for many years! I want to go to confession, to get it all off my chest, but am scared too. I do not know if I am scared of facing God, or if I fear talking to a priest. I am a very private person and I have not opened up to anyone in many years. I do not know how to open up. At the same time, I want to talk, I want to feel again. I am tired of feeling all alone. I do not know if I can trust one person enough to open up like that. At the same time, I want to find a person that I confide in enough to possibly be my spiritual advisor and help me along the way to my end goal stated above.
I feel completely lost and I am embarrassed to be posting this, but do not know where to turn. I am an unattached 42 year old and have no one close enough to me to help me out. I have family, but do not want to discuss certain things with them. Just confused right now. Any advice?

If I read your location correctly and you are in the United States and in North Carolina, there is a wonderful abbey of Benedictine monks in that State. Perhaps you might consider making a visit and a retreat of a couple of days there.

One of the monks who is a priest would be well positioned to hear your confession and offer you advice about your life in the context of a visit that would also give you the opportunity to experience a level of both personal and communal prayer that you could not find in a parish church since the monks pray the liturgy of the hours together as well as the daily Mass. The grounds are lovely for walking and quiet reflecting and you would have the various worship spaces with the Blessed Sacrament. The abbey has a retreat house where you could stay for one or two nights.

Those of us who have heard confessions appreciate that it is hard when you have been away for years. There is an inertia and there is a trepidation about coming back. But please know that there is no reason to fear the priest. We go to confession, too, you know. It is a source of joy that we can help someone who has been away find their way back to the Church and being re-integrated into the sacramental life once again.

God is the Merciful Father and this is the Year of Mercy. He is truly waiting to welcome the prodigal son. You can always come home. The door is not only open…the Father is outside, looking in the distance and watching to see you on the road…just as in the parable of the prodigal son.

 

[Petaro]

If I read your location correctly and you are in the United States and in North Carolina, there is a wonderful abbey of Benedictine monks in that State. Perhaps you might consider making a visit and a retreat of a couple of days there.

One of the monks who is a priest would be well positioned to hear your confession and offer you advice about your life in the context of a visit that would also give you the opportunity to experience a level of both personal and communal prayer that you could not find in a parish church since the monks pray the liturgy of the hours together as well as the daily Mass. The grounds are lovely for walking and quiet reflecting and you would have the various worship spaces with the Blessed Sacrament. The abbey has a retreat house where you could stay for one or two nights.

Those of us who have heard confessions appreciate that it is hard when you have been away for years. There is an inertia and there is a trepidation about coming back. But please know that there is no reason to fear the priest. We go to confession, too, you know. It is a source of joy that we can help someone who has been away find their way back to the Church and being re-integrated into the sacramental life once again.

God is the Merciful Father and this is the Year of Mercy. He is truly waiting to welcome the prodigal son. You can always come home. The door is not only open…the Father is outside, looking in the distance and watching to see you on the road…just as in the parable of the prodigal son.

I was going to say what wise and beautifully put advice… then I saw the name of the post… At it again, Father?

 

[po18guy]

Find out when your local parish offers adoration of our Lord in the Blessed Sacrament. Go, and spend time with Him. Tell Him your fears and ask for an outpouring of the Holy Spirit. Then, be patient. And when the Spirit manifests Himself, you will be changed. Your fear will dissolve either immediately, or with patience and prayer.

What you should fear is not confessing your sins. The Priest has absolute authority over your sins. Go to a parish outside your area if you are ashamed - but be aware that each of us is ashamed of our sins. The Holy Spirit Himself will propel you toward the goodness of a purified soul.

Merciful, welcoming, loving and forgiving arms versus the despair, flames and torment of eternal hell. Easy choice.

Just do it. Don’t let the devil hold you back.

 

[1Lord1Faith]

I just read this snippet from St. Faustina’s diary today. I myself came to the same understanding as spelled out below, just a couple of weeks ago. I too had trouble seeing Jesus hidden by the priest. Then I realized how badly Jesus wanted me to come to him. But not just Jesus, the priest also wants you to come to Him, and is glad to be a servant for God so that you may come to Him.

*“Today the Lord said to me, ‘Daughter, when you go to confession, to this fountain of My mercy, the Blood and Water which came forth from My Heart always flows down upon your soul and ennobles it. Every time you go to confession, immerse yourself entirely in My mercy, with great trust, so that I may pour the bounty of My grace upon your soul. When you approach the confessional, know this, that I Myself am waiting there for you. I am only hidden by the priest, but I Myself act in your soul. Here the misery of the soul meets the God of Mercy. Tell souls that from this fount of mercy souls draw graces solely with the vessel of trust. If their trust is great, there is no limit to My generosity. The torrent of grace inundate humble souls. The proud remain always in poverty and misery, because My grace turns away from them to humble souls.” * (1602, page 568)

St. Faustina, Pray for Us!

 

[TheDoctor]

It seems that I have been on a quest lately and my goal is to “become one with God,” so to speak. However, I need to learn a whole lot more than what I already know about God. In doing this, I also have to learn about myself too. In all honesty, I do not know which is harder. To know God or to know myself. I feel lost.

It is always harder to understand ourselves. God is easy - God is love - unconditional love. We all have felt lost at one time or another, but God and the Church are there to point us home.

I am trying to get motivated and start going back to Church and yes, it is hard. I have been absent for many years!

That motivation is the Holy Spirit working in your life. If it helps, know that God has been patiently waiting for every second of those years you have been away for you to come home.

I want to go to confession, to get it all off my chest, but am scared too. I do not know if I am scared of facing God, or if I fear talking to a priest. I am a very private person and I have not opened up to anyone in many years. I do not know how to open up. At the same time, I want to talk, I want to feel again. I am tired of feeling all alone.

I have been going to confession for decades. I get scared each time before I go in. If you are scared about admitting you have given in to evil or embarrassed by your actions all I can say is “join the club”. Remember that God already knows what you did, but more importantly he knows your heart and your mind and through His priest he is waiting there in the confessional not as an uncaring judge but as a loving father.

I do not know if I can trust one person enough to open up like that. At the same time, I want to find a person that I confide in enough to possibly be my spiritual advisor and help me along the way to my end goal stated above.
I feel completely lost and I am embarrassed to be posting this, but do not know where to turn.

Trust in God and follow where he is leading you. Father can help you to find a good spiritual director.

Any advice?

1. Reread Don Ruggero’s post. Father’s advice is beautiful and honest.
2. Call your local parish and make an appointment for confession (this will allow you and father the time needed).
3. Review a good examination of conscience.
4. If you are stuck, write it out so that you have confidence you will be open with God (just remember to destroy the paper when you are done).
5. As you are sitting with the Priest, look behind him and you will see Jesus with a huge smile on his face waiting to embrace you and welcome you back home.
6. Do your penance and take it a day at a time.
7. Pray for all of us. We are all sinners. We all fall. We all get scared. We all need the Sacraments. We are all unconditionally loved by God.

 

[Skittles73]

If I read your location correctly and you are in the United States and in North Carolina, there is a wonderful abbey of Benedictine monks in that State. Perhaps you might consider making a visit and a retreat of a couple of days there.

Yes, Belmont Abbey! I use to live near there, but now I am in Western NC. I never did visit the Abbey yet. My heart is at the monastery in Conyers, GA. We used to go there when I was a child. I miss Fr Francis, a monk that loved all people, especially children. God rest his soul.
I should give the Abbey a chance tho. Maybe in my next visit to Charlotte I will stop by and check it out. Thank you for mentioning that. I completely forgot the Abbey!

 

[Skittles73]

Those of us who have heard confessions appreciate that it is hard when you have been away for years. There is an inertia and there is a trepidation about coming back. But please know that there is no reason to fear the priest. We go to confession, too, you know. It is a source of joy that we can help someone who has been away find their way back to the Church and being re-integrated into the sacramental life once again.

God is the Merciful Father and this is the Year of Mercy. He is truly waiting to welcome the prodigal son. You can always come home. The door is not only open…the Father is outside, looking in the distance and watching to see you on the road…just as in the parable of the prodigal son.

Thank you for these words. I needed to hear them. You are good!!

 

[Don_Ruggero]

Thank you for these words. I needed to hear them. You are good!!

And you are very kind

Although I am a diocesan priest, I have been greatly blessed by the opportunity to be enriched by being associated with monastics and monasticism throughout my life…even before seminary. A monk has been my regular confessor.

If you can find yourself comfortable enough to go to confession there where you live, I would encourage you to do so, preferably by making an appointment so you and the priest can have time to not be rushed…especially with Holy Week so near. Grace is at work within you.

On the other hand, there is something in what you wrote that profoundly struck me. You are at a crossroads in your life. You are seeking direction. And you are trying to find your way.

The parish church is a wonderful place to make a visit to the Blessed Sacrament or a holy hour, to walk the way of the cross, to go to confession regularly, to hear Mass, and to receive Holy Communion. But you seem to need a bit more right now and a few days of monastic retreat – with the possibility of confessing to and seeking counsel from one of the monks – could be a great benefit.

I find my time at the monastery to be a time of renewal and, often enough, an occasion for the Lord to make clear to me things I was not seeing before. If the Lord is calling you to a day or a few days of retreat…either at Belmont or the other monastery of which you wrote, the one that was so significant to your younger self…I pray He will open all the doors, provide the means, and give you the courage and fortitude to go there and find Him whom you are seeking.

It is the Year of Mercy. He is there for you.

I assure you of my prayers.

 

[Skittles73]

And you are very kind

If you can find yourself comfortable enough to go to confession there where you live, I would encourage you to do so, preferably by making an appointment so you and the priest can have time to not be rushed…especially with Holy Week so near. Grace is at work within you.

On the other hand, there is something in what you wrote that profoundly struck me. You are at a crossroads in your life. You are seeking direction. And you are trying to find your way…

It is the Year of Mercy. He is there for you.

I assure you of my prayers.

Your words brings a smile to my face and a tear to my eyes. Not many people can do that! I take all advice very seriously, always! For the next several weeks I intend to be focusing on remembering my past in all areas that pertain to my way of life, the way I lived, the way I wanted to live, what my dreams were compared to what they are now, what I feared, and what I was ignorant of. Most of all, I am delving into the things I have done and the consequences of my actions and of my failures to act. Examination of Conscience feels like one of the hardest trials I ever had to face! But, I am doing it. It’s has to be my first step in discovering who I became and who I want to become.
I will go to the Abbey. That must happen. I visited their web-site and made up my mind. I just have to plan it. Currently I am seeking work, and once I get situated, I will plan a couple of days to visit, to get away.
There is only one person out there, other than you, that can really make me think. I treasure that quality.
Thank you
My prayers are also with you.

 

[Skittles73]

I just wanted to post an update. I went to my local parish and spoke with the priest today. I will be meeting with him next Weds night for confession. I also told him a little about me and it looks as if I will be taking classes with him so I can finally be confirmed! This whole day is funny. I was driving home from the city and something told me (or made me) stop by the church. The priest told me that he is rarely there during the day and today was the one day that the secretary was out and he was filling in. I am starting to think it was divine intervention. God bless you all and please have a safe and Happy Easter!