When I returned to the Church and the sacraments after 10 years (similar circumstances–I never really left, but I was not practicing), I went to a Penance service during Holy Week. Afterwards they had long lines to go see the multitudes of priests there for the occasion.
There had been a sheet with an examination of conscience and Iread through that during the service…and just bawled my eyes out. When I finally got to the poor priest who was going to hear my confession he actually looked alarmed at my condition!
I showed him the sheet with the lists of mortal and venial sins and told him that I was a terrible person, etc., I’d broken almost every command, etc. That poor priest, to have to deal with me!
I had been so terrified and he did his best to put me at ease…as much as possible. So I did make a general confessionm about 5 minutes and of course he admonished me to not wait so long again and welcomed me back to the Church.
I left feeling only somewhat embarassed, but mostly relieved and so clean!
I hope you don’t have the same emotional response I did, but at the same time, those tears can be very cleansing.
The only problem you have to watch out for is this: I didn’t end all the stuff I had been doing, but long story, I finally started a new life. So it was another 2-3 years before my next confession. And several confessions after that I kept remembering what I thought were unconfessed mortal sins. Finally a very wise priest gave me peace and told me that in the confessions I had gone to, I had been absolved of ALL my sins.
In other words, accept the grace you are given. If you go through this confession and dont’ deliberately withold anything, you do not need to confess it in the future unless there is something that really bothers you or something.
I would recommend making an appointment…I really wish I’d had the courage to do so (I almost did after the Passion of the Christ) because I would have had a much easier time of it.
Welcome home!
