Confession away from one's parish

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UAt last nights homily that’s what our priest said, “basillica priests do not want us at the basillica, confess at your parish” I guess it comes up on occasion where the priest will ask. The priest did ask our person from RCIA being it was his first reconciliation. It kind of turned into a big deal on both sides, maybe that’s why our parish priest is preaching this.
 
StarMapp said:
I never recalled anyone telling me that I had to have a dedicated confessor
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It’s advice that I’ve seen given to people who are trying to progress in their spiritual life, for example, those discerning a vocation, those in a religious order, etc. The idea is that the confessor gets to know the person’s habits and sins and so forth over time and can provide better advice.

As a practical matter, it does not make sense for every Catholic to have a dedicated “regular” confessor. Let’s say there is 1 priest assigned to a parish with 500 parishioners. Ideally, all of those parishioners would go to confession regularly, let’s say they go every month or two. That means one priest would be taking on the burden of 500 confessions every 2 months. Even if he was able to hear 10 confessions an hour (6 minutes per confession), he would still be having to spend the equivalent of a 50-hour work week every other month, just sitting in the confessional hearing confessions. The only way confession is continuing to work with the limited number of priests available is that many if not most parishioners do not go very often.

On top of that, even those people who have a reasonably “regular” confessor, perhaps because he is the only priest assigned to the church, are likely to have to use a different confessor sometimes when their original choice gets reassigned, retires, or the person is temporarily or permanently in some other part of the country.

Many confessions are going to continue to take place at the venues where confession is made a featured part of a day out at a shrine, or a retreat, or a holiday penance service, and they bring in anywhere from 5 to 20 priests from all over the place who you’ve never seen before and never will again, but they get the job done of hearing the individual confessions of a large number of people.
 
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500? The average priest is responsible for a couple thousand souls in these parts. In much of Latin America, the average priest is responsible for more like 10 000 souls…
Of course those figures include Catholics within the parish boundaries who don’t regularly attend Mass… but they should be and they should be confessing. So no, having a dedicated spiritual director is a luxury that only a minority of Catholics could realistically benefit from.
 
Yeah, I know 500 is low end. The parish I was at today for Mass has a priest/ person ratio of more like 1 priest per 2000 parishioners. There are 3 or 4 priests available, but the parish is humongous.
 
jinedo58 said:
The priest did ask our person from RCIA being it was his first reconciliation.
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THAT is why the priest told the RCIA person he should be doing this at his parish.
The person confessing probably was not certain of what they were supposed to do in the confessional, because it was his first time, or he may have had some questions. It’s expected that for your first confession, and maybe a few times after that till you get the hang of it, you will go to a priest associated with the RCIA group (such as the parish priest in this case) because you’re likely to need some extra guidance at first when you confess.

After you get used to confessing, you can go confess at the basilica or anywhere else with ease.
 
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It is usually said to those in RCIA to make an appointment with a priest for their first reconciliation as they might have some 20-50 years of sins to confess and the confession is very likely to take longer.
 
We have great priests now, too. We had a pastor before our current one who had zero people skills and was very unfriendly but our current pastor and other priest are really good. And I love our deacons, too.
 
Tis_Bearself said:
a Basilica that gets people from all over the place knew somebody was from an RCIA group in the next parish over, unless perhaps the person went into confession and said they were from an RCIA group and proceeded to ask a bunch of questions that the priest perhaps thought should be best addressed by their parish priest. Because I am all over the place, I have been to confession in the last 2 years to probably three dozen different priests at two dozen different churches, and not one of them has ever asked me what parish I’m from or anything else about me.

It is highly unusual for a priest to yell at someone to go to confession someplace else. I strongly suspect there is more to that story.
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I could be wrong, but I think there might be a few things going on behind the scenes here:
  1. The First Confession SHOULD take place in your home parish and with the pastor or whichever Priest is assigned to deal with First Confessions.
  2. This may be the only issue, in which your pastor is over generalizing that the Basilica priests don’t want others there. Or, perhaps a number of First Confession RCIA people from your parish were going to the Basilica?
  3. OR perhaps enough people from your parish are identifying themselves at the Basilica, and the priests at the Basilica are getting upset at your pastor because he isn’t offering enough confession times at his parish?
However, my gut is telling me that something like this happened:
  • RCIA convert: Bless me Father this is my First Confession. I’m in RCIA at XYX Parish down the road.
  • Priest: Why are you coming here for confession? You should be at your own parish for your [First] Confession.
  • RCIA convert: There are no good confession times at my parish, and the RCIA Director said we can go to confession at any Church, and even recommend coming here because you have confession everyday.
  • Priest: Confession here at the Basilica is really just for Pilgrims. You should not be coming here [for First Confession].
Later, the Basilica priests call your pastor to complain that your RCIA Director (or whomever) is telling the RCIA class to go to confession at the Basilica instead of having your parish schedule more confession times. Which then escalates into argument between the priests about offering enough confession times & and the RCIA Convert feeling they were being yelled at while at the Basilica, which ultimately leads your pastor to an over generalization of “the Basilica doesn’t want members of our parish going there for confession.”

This is my guess regarding what most likely really happened.

God bless
 
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The person explained in a later post that the RCIA candidate tried to go to a priest at the Basilica for his first confession.

As you note, for the first confession, the person should be going to his parish priest.
 
phil19034 said:
The First Confession SHOULD take place in your home parish and with the pastor or whichever Priest is assigned to deal with First Confessions.
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No “should”, it is simply a custom. We are free to confess to any priest with faculties. 1st Confession or 101st Confession.

My gut says this person was not prepared and that there was frustration.
 
TheLittleLady said:
No “should”, it is simply a custom. We are free to confess to any priest with faculties. 1st Confession or 101st Confession.
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Well, many bishops do like the “First” sacraments to be at the local parish - First Confession and First Communion. Some bishops even require the First Sacraments (and require Baptism and Confirmation) to take place in the home territorial (or personal) parish.

Also, I used the word “should” not “must.”

But I do agree, the person may not have been prepared, which may have caused the frustration. That, or it was looking to be a confession of 15+ minutes

God bless
 
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phil19034 said:
Some bishops even require the First Sacraments (and require Baptism and Confirmation) to take place in the home territorial (or personal) parish.
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The Sacraments that only happen once (Baptism, Confirmation, Marriage (for most people) are required to take place in one’s territorial parish or the pastor of the territorial parish must give permission (except where someone is dying). This is not up to the individual Bishop, it is the Law of the Church. One reason is for the proper keeping of these Sacramental Records.

The Sacraments that we receive many times (Confession, Eucharist) of course to be received in one’s territorial parish the first time is nice (and we even seek permission from the territorial pastor if need be for Baptism).
 
TheLittleLady said:
The Sacraments that we receive many times (Confession, Eucharist) of course to be received in one’s territorial parish the first time is nice (and we even seek permission from the territorial pastor if need be for Baptism).
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Yes. However, I’m saying that some Bishops have required all of their priests to perform First Confession and First Communion inside the territorial parish (or personal parish) only. My archbishop instituted that rule a couple years ago (at least for all children, if not for adults too).
 
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jinedo58 said:
It is true someone went from our RCIA group last year and the priest “yelled” at them “go to confession at your own parish we are busy!
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RCIA caught my eye. Was this their first confession preparing for the Easter Vigil?
 
I’m not even sure how such a situation would be possible unless behind the screen confessions aren’t being offered, which isn’t actually allowed. Both options of behind the screen and face to face should be offered, but if it comes down to it and only one option is offered it should be behind the screen. I disagree with these priests. I have even seen the Advent confession times of all parishes part of the Deanery printed in church bulletins; why would this be the case except for receiving the sacrament outside one’s own parish?
 
This same thing happened to me. I received all 3 sacraments at the Easter Vigil, went to a neighboring parish for my first confession, and the priest repeatedly asked me why I hadn’t made my first confession before receiving the sacraments. I was told by my RCIA director I should not do so until after and then I could go to any priest. I initially went behind the screen and the priest kept asking me that question and then asked me to walk around the screen and sit where he could see me… which made me very uncomfortable as I wanted to go behind the screen. I then started trying to make my first confession, at this point highly anxious, and he got more frustrated/angry and sent me away with a pamphlet on how confession works without letting me finish. Had he not interrogated me to begin with, the confession itself would not have taken long - but I was prepared so it is possible this person’s circumstance was solely because of lack of preparation.

It seems to me from what I’ve heard this sacrament can be highly neglected during RCIA preparation which I think is a shame. My parish has very long lines for confession and I actually thought I was doing a good thing going elsewhere… that way if I did take a little longer than normal I wouldn’t be as likely to cause someone else to miss out on the sacrament. It backfired and I hate it made me view it with such negativity. I still struggle with confession to this day.

But I agree, you should be able to go to any priest you wish. I’m not sure why that isn’t the case.
 
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