Confession Confusion

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ubi_caritas

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Preparing for confession and I have some questions I am hoping someone can help me with…
  1. What do you do if you are guilty of a sin (like a failure to do something which you still cannot bring yourself to do), and you know it won’t change right after confession, even though you are earnestly working on it? Do you still confess it? Can you receive absolution if it’s ongoing? It’ll just be right back afterward. So does that mean it would prevent me from receiving grace from the sacrament regardless fo whether I confess it?
  2. Can the priest ask details if he already understands the nature of the sin? Specifically, if your sin involves someone else (ie impure thoughts about someone), can he ask whom?
 
On one I know this. If you repeatedly confess the same sin, they CAN withold absolution. Moreover, if you are in a state of sin, and receive the communion KNOWING that you have not confessed it, or have not fully repented and wish to never do it again, thats a big NO NOOOOOOO…big time.

If you confess, repent, take communion, and then sin the same sin again, thats different because you really DID repent and WANT to change…so the circle restarts…go confess again, try harder next time…

But if you do this too many times, a priest may withhold absolution…

This doesnt stop you from going to another church and partaking in communion … but thats cheating and you and God will know!!! :tsktsk:
 
On two I’m going to say No. The priest only needs the basic details to know your sin. The person who your thinking about is irrelevant. And TMI could be harmful to the priest…detailing your lustful fantasies for example might tempt his imagination…

Good confession: ‘I went to work today and had sex with a coworker’

Bad confession: 'I went to work today and a co worker and I

You also have to include other things that would directly pertain to sin, like if you or the other person were married. But names are irrelevant…
 
  1. An essential element of confession is contrition, and part of contrition (perfect or imperfect) is a resolution not to sin again. You must turn your back on this sin, but it does not mean it will never happen again. It means that is your intent and desire. If you intend not to sin again, then you will receive the absolution and graces sought. If you plan to sin again…a different story.
It’s difficult to figure out what you are thinking when you say you “know” it wont change. Knowing it’s possible to happen again because of your weakness is different from knowing because you intend to do it once more.
  1. I don’t know if there are limits to what he “can” ask, but it’s highly unlikely a priest will ask for details if he already knows the nature of the sin and can assess your culpability
 
ubi_caritas said:
Preparing for confession and I have some questions I am hoping someone can help me with…
  1. What do you do if you are guilty of a sin (like a failure to do something which you still cannot bring yourself to do), and you know it won’t change right after confession, even though you are earnestly working on it? Do you still confess it? Can you receive absolution if it’s ongoing? It’ll just be right back afterward. So does that mean it would prevent me from receiving grace from the sacrament regardless fo whether I confess it?
  2. Can the priest ask details if he already understands the nature of the sin? Specifically, if your sin involves someone else (ie impure thoughts about someone), can he ask whom?
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Hi ugi caritas, I think perhaps it would be best just to go into the confessional and tell Father you are having trouble giving up, or stopping a particular serious sin. that you believe it is something that you will continue to participate in even tho’ you are earnestly working on it. Father will take it from there
Temptation to continue in habitual sin is some thing everyone has to come to grips with Christ has provided the means to do this and it is through confessional and his ordained priest acting in His person. God be with you Ugi and bless you greatly.:thumbsup:Carlan
 
….An essential element of confession is contrition,…
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I understand what this reply is saying…but I think that you need to focus on** contrition** as the critical element…not just an essential!

Here is what* Father Frederick L. Miller S.T.D*. [who teaches Systematic Theology as Mt. St. Mary’s Seminary in Emmitsburg, MD.] says in his excellent pamphlet –
A primer for confession with an examination of conscience
"In order to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation worthily, the penitent must be sorry for his or her sins…[Perfect or Imperfect Sorrow]…".
"Contrition, perfect or imperfect, must include a firm purpose of amendment, that is a solid resolution to avoid the sin committedas well as the persons, places, and things that prompted you to commit the sin in the first place**. Without this repentance, contrition is insincere and our confession is pointless."

(published by*** Faith Guild ***-- Saint Martin de Porres Lay Dominican Community–New Hope, KY 40052 – orders placed @ (270) 325-3061
newhope-ky.org/…)
My recommendations…(1) find a holy priest (one whom you never see “cutting any corners” in the Liturgy and references the Catechism in his homilies) and discuss this with him outside confession…then, (2) listen to your conscience kneeling in front of a Crucifix…(3) then ask Our Lord to give you the grace to do His will…no matter what the costs. (4) Make your prayer and confession to Our Lord (both in your private prayer and in the Sacrament)…simple, direct and honest! Review Mary’s encounter upon finding him in the temple…look at her simple, direct and honest words to her son (Luke 2: 42-52),…to the Son of God…to God himself. (5) Also read and meditate the great Gospel episode of Jesus’ talk with the Samaritan Woman at the Well (John 4:1-27).
(6) I also can’t help but recommending the parable told by Jesus Himself…the Prodigal Son…or Lost Son (Luke 15: 11-32).

Lastly…my priest-chaplain confessor said that the biggest mistake we make in preparing for the Sacrament (confession)…we forget to ask the Holy Spirit to help us…and we spend way too much time on examination of conscience (using a “steel rake” going over our minds and conscience) and way too much time feeling sorry-to- ourselves for our sins. His guidance was spend 20% of the time in examination (using a “feather dust brush”-- he said that our conscience is quite easily aware of our sins – especially the serious/mortal sins and also our venial sins – if we are honest with ourselves and don’t trip-out in fear of confessing our sins)…and then ask the Holy Spirit to take us to Calvary…and spend 80% of the time focused on the Crucifix (forgetting about ourselves and our sins)…and marvel at Our Lord Jesus’ Divine Mercy…the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world…who came into the world not to condemn us but to forgive us and in his Mercy to reconcile us to the Father. So, e.g., if I spend 15 min in prep/waiting to confess…that means = 3 min goes to examination…and 12 min goes to meditation on His Divine Mercy consciously with the Holy Spirit as my guide. He also said that when you start your confession…address Our Lord Jesus not the priest/Father…it focuses the heart on Christ. All I can tell you is…it really works…it is a beautiful, simple, humble and yet uplifting joy filled experience…to be absolutely fearless of any of my sins ( no matter how bad)…and fearless in confessing them to Our Lord Jesus (the priest…In Persona Christi). Lastly, after confessing and completing my penance…he said (if at all possible) spend the same amount of prep time…but now offering thanksgiving to the Lord Jesus (read the Sunday readings, Rosary, Divine Mercy chaplet…just meditating and being in his presence).

Hope this is helpful.
Pax Christi
 
Lancer said:
I understand what this reply is saying…but I think that you need to focus on** contrition** as the critical element…not just an essential!

Here is what* Father Frederick L. Miller S.T.D*. [who teaches Systematic Theology as Mt. St. Mary’s Seminary in Emmitsburg, MD.] says in his excellent pamphlet –
A primer for confession with an examination of conscience
"In order to receive the Sacrament of Reconciliation worthily, the penitent must be sorry for his or her sins…[Perfect or Imperfect Sorrow]…".
"Contrition, perfect or imperfect, must include a firm purpose of amendment, that is a solid resolution to avoid the sin committedas well** as the persons, places, and things that prompted you to commit the sin in the first place. Without this repentance, contrition is insincere and our confession is pointless."

(published by*** Faith Guild ***-- Saint Martin de Porres Lay Dominican Community–New Hope, KY 40052 – orders placed @ (270) 325-3061
newhope-ky.org/…)
My recommendations…(1) find a holy priest (one whom you never see “cutting any corners” in the Liturgy and references the Catechism in his homilies) and discuss this with him outside confession…then, (2) listen to your conscience kneeling in front of a Crucifix…(3) then ask Our Lord to give you the grace to do His will…no matter what the costs. (4) Make your prayer and confession to Our Lord (both in your private prayer and in the Sacrament)…simple, direct and honest! Review Mary’s encounter upon finding him in the temple…look at her simple, direct and honest words to her son (Luke 2: 42-52),…to the Son of God…to God himself. (5) Also read and meditate the great Gospel episode of Jesus’ talk with the Samaritan Woman at the Well (John 4:1-27).
(6) I also can’t help but recommending the parable told by Jesus Himself…the Prodigal Son…or Lost Son (Luke 15: 11-32).

Lastly…my priest-chaplain confessor said that the biggest mistake we make in preparing for the Sacrament (confession)…we forget to ask the Holy Spirit to help us…and we spend way too much time on examination of conscience (using a “steel rake” going over our minds and conscience) and way too much time feeling sorry-to- ourselves for our sins. His guidance was spend 20% of the time in examination (using a “feather dust brush”-- he said that our conscience is quite easily aware of our sins – especially the serious/mortal sins and also our venial sins – if we are honest with ourselves and don’t trip-out in fear of confessing our sins)…and then ask the Holy Spirit to take us to Calvary…and spend 80% of the time focused on the Crucifix (forgetting about ourselves and our sins)…and marvel at Our Lord Jesus’ Divine Mercy…the Lamb of God who takes away the sins of the world…who came into the world not to condemn us but to forgive us and in his Mercy to reconcile us to the Father. So, e.g., if I spend 15 min in prep/waiting to confess…that means = 3 min goes to examination…and 12 min goes to meditation on His Divine Mercy consciously with the Holy Spirit as my guide. He also said that when you start your confession…address Our Lord Jesus not the priest/Father…it focuses the heart on Christ. All I can tell you is…it really works…it is a beautiful, simple, humble and yet uplifting joy filled experience…to be absolutely fearless of any of my sins ( no matter how bad)…and fearless in confessing them to Our Lord Jesus (the priest…In Persona Christi). Lastly, after confessing and completing my penance…he said (if at all possible) spend the same amount of prep time…but now offering thanksgiving to the Lord Jesus (read the Sunday readings, Rosary, Divine Mercy chaplet…just meditating and being in his presence).

Hope this is helpful.
Pax Christi
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Thank you Lanser, fine spiritual direction:)Carlan
 
ubi_caritas said:
Preparing for confession and I have some questions I am hoping someone can help me with…
  1. What do you do if you are guilty of a sin (like a failure to do something which you still cannot bring yourself to do), and you know it won’t change right after confession, even though you are earnestly working on it? Do you still confess it? Can you receive absolution if it’s ongoing? ?
Click to expand...
you must confess it if the matter is grave, and you must have the firm intention to stop the action or end the situation, even if in light of past experience you have failed in those intentions in the past. If either of those is missing it is not a valid confession. No you cannot receive absolution for an on-going sinful situation or condition, or for something you fully intend to do and to keep on doing ie, an invalid marriage, systematic on-going cheating on your taxes, a pornography habit.
 
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