Confession fear

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You just go in spite of the fear.

BTW, that’s the strategy for dealing with any fear. 😊

And then afterwards you really focus on how your fears were not grounded in reality, that Father didn’t yell at you, that Father wasn’t horrified or disgusted by what you told him, that all your friends and family didn’t “unfriend” you on social media…
 
I agree with the other poster. You just have to do it! Keep it simple though, just a few sins at a time. Mortal sins first obviously. You don’t want to overwhelm yourself. You don’t need to confess every single thing you do wrong every time you go. I don’t know if you go face to face but if you do maybe confessing from behind the screen will help you. Also maybe finding a priest you feel comfortable with and continuing to confess to him will help the fear go away.
 
Speaking as one who was afraid of confession since about age 14 and finally just quit going for 18 years:
  1. Ask God for help overcoming your fear
  2. Go to Confession frequently, like 1-2 times per month, so you get used to it and it becomes very routine
  3. Do whatever you can to make it less scary for you personally. For example, I find it less scary to go behind a screen wherever possible, and to go to different priests who mostly don’t know me rather than going to the same priest all the time. Someone else may have different preferences, for example they might find it less scary to go face to face and have a regular priest whose “style” they get used to, so they know how he will react, what kind of penances he gives etc. (Note however that if you like to go to the same priest all the time, he could get transferred, go out of town etc and you’ll still need to go to confession, so make sure you’re able to confess to different priests at least when it’s necessary.)
  1. Confess as quickly and as briefly as you can. Get it over with as fast as possible. Concentrate on just mentioning all mortal sins and then if you have time, perhaps one or two of your main venial sins. You should be able to do all this in about 2-4 minutes at most.
In the end it’s like overcoming a fear of the dentist - you just need to buckle down and do it. I have been going regularly again now for 4 years and while it will never be my favorite thing, I don’t have an anxiety attack about it for a whole day like I used to do.
 
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Just remind yourself that there’s nothing you can say that the priest hasn’t heard before. Feeling scared and embarrassed about it is just part of it.
 
I have a confession scheduled for tomorrow morning. I never thought of fear. Rather, I think of the embarrassment of my sins and in feeling like I let God down and disappointed God in some way.

I usually go to the same priest (our Pastor), and he knows me by name in a parish of 10,000+ members. I do not use a screen. But, I feel comfortable with him because he is extremely pastoral and provides fantastic spiritual and practical advice. No screen makes it somehow more personal for me. If a screen helps overcome the fear, then please use one.

For me, confession is making things right with God. I always try to remember that. Perhaps that is why I do not have fear - I really want to make things right with God, after all. God already knows my sins, so my embarrassment has been minimal recently.

It can be a frightening, embarrassing experience to admit our shortcomings and sins. Remember that we all sin, though. Perhaps that will also help you.
 
Going to confession ought to be an act of faith and not fear. I don’t mean that to sound like “you don’t have faith,” because I am sure you have faith, you’re asking questions about how to overcome fear.

If we are faithful to confess our sins, no matter how grievous, he is faithful and just and forgives.
 
You have to keep going. I haven’t even made my first confession yet and I was still terrified of it. I told my priest about my nervousness and he was super helpful. Telling someone like your priest that your nervous might help.
 
What the consequence of not going to confession is and going frequently now I love going I used to avoid it at all cost
 
Remember that some of these priests have heard confessions in prison. No matter what you say, they have surely heard worse. If that is your fear, don’t worry about it

Every time I’ve gone to confession I’ve felt euphoria that is near tear inducing. You have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
 
Catholic21 said:
How do you get over your fear of confession?
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Go to a random Church behind the screen. If the Priest is rude or aggressive just leave and go to another Church. This probably won’t happen. 99% of my experiences have been postive. You’re in control though. No one is stopping you from leaving and you never have to put up with abuse.
 
In my experience fear of confession has been about spiritual warfare. The devil will fight you when he sees you doing good. So, press on even harder and push through the fear. It is just an uncomfortable feeling. Nothing bad will happen to you.
 
The fear should be God calling you to judgment without having confessed. Very gradually, and without noticing it, you have become accustomed to carrying the weight of sin. But once that burden is lifted; when you can barely feel your feet touching the floor, you may very well end up slapping your forehead and exclaiming, as to the fear, “What was I thinking?”

Is it embarrassing? Of course! How else will the avoidance of future sin be imprinted upon our consciences? God forgets. He allows us to remember so that we will strive to avoid sin in the future.

Can you imagine a scrupulous person called to judgment? “Oh Lord, how can you forgive my innumerable sins? They are all just so horrible!”
And He will reply, “Sins? What are you talking about?”
 
If you are worried about what the priest is going to think when you tell him your sins, believe me; he’s probably heard it all before. So if it is a “big deal” to you, it probably won’t be a big deal to him. (That’s not to suggest that the sin(s) be taken lightly; it just means that the whole thing is just routine for him).
 
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