Confession for shy child

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I see no problem with the child knowing her parents are right outside the reconciliation room, old box, or whatever her parish uses. Another question would be would she be more comfortable going face to face or behind the screen. According to the church, either is okay.
 
Don’t push her. I was in the same situation as a child and my parents pushed me. I left the church at 18 and I’ve never gone back. Set a good example by going. Don’t make her go, but have her go to church with you and wait for you in the pew while you and everybody else goes. Do not, under any circumstances, shame her over this. Eventually she may see the example you are setting as well as the others in the church and decide on her own to go.
 
Try to speak to she gently and explain to her about the sacrament of Confession ,that it is Jesus waiting for her ,to forgive her and heal her soul, try to speak to a priest or a nun to advice her.also they are many books she can read ,when i too was at that age was terrified to say my sins or rather even speaking to a priest ,if the priest is co-operative he can get her to speak .God Bless
 
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I’m not sure if this will help but some time ago I was waiting to go into the confessional and a little girl about 7 or 8 was in the queue and in tears. Her Mum explained that she was scared of going into the confessional box and we wondered how it could be made easier. As Fr was already hearing confessions I went in and at the end of my confession asked Fr if he would be so kind as to hear the child’s confession in a side chapel. He readily agreed and Mum was able to sit just outside the chapel.
As adults we may prefer the anonymity of the confessional but when I thought about it I could see how frightening it could be for a child to go into these small, often dark, spaces.
 
That is not allowed,
Make sure she confesses in a large room with windows, like his office, or a reconciliation room, not a confessional. Confession will help her overcome her shyness, actually. If she’s social when she gets to know people, ask him over for dinner or out to brunch well in advance.
 
Does your parish have Formed.org? If not, I think it costs $10 for a month of access. In their program “Forgiven” is an excellent video for kids, it is near the end of the series.

Visit the church someday when nothing is going on, let her explore the Confessional, pray with her there. The parish secretary will let you in if the church is locked, just set it up ahead of time.

Agree that meeting Father as a real person with help. Invite him to your home for dinner, for a birthday party, a cookout in the summer. Help your child know that the priests who serve your parish are extended members of your Catholic family.
 
This may be something that your parish has set as a “rule”, however, there is no canon law, no doctrine that forbids a parent in the confessional with their child.

If you speak a different language, from Mandarin to ASL, you may bring interpreter into the confessional, in fact, the Canon specifically binds a translator to the same secrecy as the priest.

There is a wonderful account of St Damian of Molokai, he was a priest who ministered to the leper colony. For fear of contagion, the priest who came to hear Fr. Damien’s confession was forbidden to set foot on the island.

Fr Damien stood on the beach and the priest was in a boat off the shore. The beach was crowded with people, yet, Fr Damien shouted his confession to the priest in the boat and the priest gave him absolution. In fact, when I am nervous about confession, I ask St Damien to intercede for me.


My concern is that such an arrangement may cause the child to withhold sins for fear of punishment from mom/dad. That is something that needs to be discussed.
 
Uh, no. One cannot accompany anyone into the confessional, one anecdote from a Saint does not an exception make. Just how “open” and frank would a person be if someone were listening in?
 
I don’t think there’s any rules on that, seeing as how you can have confession everywhere. I remember my old parish priest talking about how frequently he’d be asked to hear confessions on airplanes, and those aren’t in any way private. I’m pretty sure it’s up to the person confessing how they go about doing it.
 
Would you please link me to the Canon law or to the portion of the Catechism that says one must be alone for Confession?
 
Try common sense. Confession is private.
The church did away with public confessions centuries ago.
Just because a priest hears one’s confession on a plane or in a grocery store, does not mean that he does not seek out PRIVACY and tries his best to ensure that no one is eavesdropping.
If confession were NOT private, few people would go.

Not EVERYTHING is spelled out in law.
 
I get that it is private, this is an unusual situation in that my daughter actually wants a parent to come in with her. She isn’t worried about us hearing her confession (and obviously, we’d never punish her - we’d actually try not to pay attention!) Until we find a better solution though, I’m planning to try to meet with a priest of her choosing regularly with her, and hope she gets comfortable enough to go to confession with him eventually. I sat her down, and talked over her fears (she said she is so afraid she could die of going), and let her know we would never force her, and that we can take baby steps to helping her get there, and reassured her that she eventually will feel comfortable. She seemed relieved/encouraged by this.
 
Good point about the priest seeking PRIVACY when hearing a confession on a plane or other such location. On a pilgrimage I was on, priests were hearing confessions while we were walking to the shrine. Even though there were maybe close to a hundred of us in the procession, they allowed enough distance between priest and penitent to give the penitent some privacy.
 
I think helping her with her shyness iN GENERAL, and not specific to Confession would be a good track. Yes, good luck.
 
I realize this doesn’t address the issue of a parent accompanying a child into the confessional, but Interpreters are allowed in the confessional

Can. 983 §1. The sacramental seal is inviolable; therefore it is absolutely forbidden for a confessor to betray in any way a penitent in words or in any manner and for any reason.

§2. The interpreter, if there is one, and all others who in any way have knowledge of sins from confession are also obliged to observe secrecy.
 
I was given permission by my sister to help her daughter, my niece of course, with preparation for the Sacraments for she did not believe. I was a catechist myself so I was given permission to do home study and given the materials to do so.

She is one of the most outgoing children I have ever met. I had my daughter with me and she was going to confession that day and my niece got in line, came back crying and said she was too scared to go.

So you are not alone. After that she didn’t want to study or anything anymore. I think my personal thought is that she wanted her mom there too but my sister as agnostic.

Your daughter made her first confession which is wonderful. I spoke later with the DRE and her thought was no child should be forced to make a confession. So I feel I did the right thing now and that was reassuring to me.

She said in time most kids will go especially if they see other kids going as well.

I wish you well with your issue and God bless you for your desire to see your daughter frequent the the sacrament. She is blessed to have you.
 
I’ve recently had some personal and spiritual problems in my life and I sought counsel with my pastor. It wasn’t in a confessional but in his office. Before it began, he put the entire conversation under the seal of confession. It was more relaxed than confession and was more of a conversation.

Perhaps you can talk to your pastor and see if they are open to start meeting regularly with your daughter. Tell her that she does not have to confess and it is just a time for her to get to know the pastor better. I don’t know if your daughter would use an avenue like this but just an idea.

btw, my pastor gave me great advice and absolution in that meeting. I recommend every one do it from time to time. Some of his advice was very on point but not something I would have expected. I love my pastor.

Additionally, you can find many “mock” or “practice” confessions online. I’m a convert and found that very helpful.
 
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I just took my 8 1/2 year old daughter to confession on the day prior to Christmas Eve along with my other 3 children. She was terrified. She was in tears with fear. The other three kids all went. Finally, I got my daughter to stand in line with me. (There were only a few people in the line at that time). Finally, I got her to come into the confessional with me. I told her I would be outside the door, but I explained loudly enough for the priest to hear me that he would help her know what to say And she was still in tears when I left - but a few minutes later she emerged - happy and okay. I didn’t ask her what she said or what the priest said. I went in for my own confession right after - and then we had mass shortly thereafter. But I will ask her how it went when I go home today.
 
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