Confession question

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Maureen1125 said:
The words excessive or unreasonable do not appear in conjunction with the sins I listed. Likewise on the Mortal sin…the word “Relics” is no-where to be found. It says “Spiritual items” and each of the items I listed would qualify as a spirtual item. It does not break it down and say that buying a blessed holy medal is okay, however buying a piece of rock thought to be from the tomb of Jesus Christ is not.
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I am just explaining that yes there are sins in these areas…yes nagging can be a sin…yes excessive drinking is a sin, yes fighting with ones brother can be a sin…etc

*I did not write that examine nor like I noted am I particularly fond of it…
*
Simony is NEVER the buying of **unblessed **crosses, rosaries, medals …etc (well maybe not never…for I suppose there could be certain cases…like if an unblessed rosary was sold as the personal rosary of St. Leo the Great or something…)

But yes it can be said that medals etc should be blessed “after” the person buys it…

Simony comes from the incident in Acts where Simon Magus asked to “buy” from Peter the power to lay on hands and give the Holy Spirit (such as in Confirmation).

So yes simony can be a moral sin…like if a Bishop sold a man “ordination”…for $100,000
 
I think that we are looking at the Sacrament in the wrong way.

The question that we need to ask ourselves first is: “Why do I go to confession?”
If the answer that you provide to this question is: “for the forgiveness of my sins” then we have a problem. This disposition toward the Sacrament of Penance is ones that is more related to servile or filial fear of God because of our sins. While this is helpful to some degree it is not ideal. Rather, our answer to the question ought to be: “to receive the grace of the Sacrament.” This establishes a different disposition to the Sacrament.

In order to live a good christian life we should be frequent participants of the Sacraments. Why? They are the ordinary means of receiving the ‘grace that makes us pleasing to God’ (Sanctifying Grace). In other words, they are concrete encounters with the person and love of God. And, this is what we ought to be striving for: living a life that is in a loving relationship with the Lord. Hence our disposition to this Sacrament should be formed by the love of God.

In this way we can approach the Sacrament of Penance not as a legalistic mechanism for the forgiveness of our sins – which it is not. But, instead, it becomes a Sacrament of Healing – which it is. When we form our disposition to the Sacrament of Penance in this ways I think that many of these questions melt away. The anxiety of being a faithful penitent flees from us as an unwanted spirit and we are filled with a spirit of peace.

This sets the disposition. But, there is a practical aspect to the Sacrament that is important. This can be identified as honesty. Be honest with yourself and be honest with your confessor. Tell the confessor what you think are mortal sins and what are not mortal sins, and let him know in advance that you will be confessing both or just one or just the other. This will help the confessor determine the disposition he should have to you. Approached with this level of honesty you will help avoid scrupulosity or permissiveness because you will lay it all before the confessor for him to judge.

Last, leave your sins in the confessional. You will sin again because you are human. So, reconcile yourself to that fact and learn to live a life that is completely dependent upon the Lord’s mercy and not ones own power.
 
mosher said:
I think that we are looking at the Sacrament in the wrong way.

The question that we need to ask ourselves first is: “Why do I go to confession?”
If the answer that you provide to this question is: “for the forgiveness of my sins” then we have a problem. This disposition toward the Sacrament of Penance is ones that is more related to servile or filial fear of God because of our sins. While this is helpful to some degree it is not ideal. Rather, our answer to the question ought to be: “to receive the grace of the Sacrament.” This establishes a different disposition to the Sacrament.

In order to live a good christian life we should be frequent participants of the Sacraments. Why? They are the ordinary means of receiving the ‘grace that makes us pleasing to God’ (Sanctifying Grace). In other words, they are concrete encounters with the person and love of God. And, this is what we ought to be striving for: living a life that is in a loving relationship with the Lord. Hence our disposition to this Sacrament should be formed by the love of God.

In this way we can approach the Sacrament of Penance not as a legalistic mechanism for the forgiveness of our sins – which it is not. But, instead, it becomes a Sacrament of Healing – which it is. When we form our disposition to the Sacrament of Penance in this ways I think that many of these questions melt away. The anxiety of being a faithful penitent flees from us as an unwanted spirit and we are filled with a spirit of peace.

This sets the disposition. But, there is a practical aspect to the Sacrament that is important. This can be identified as honesty. Be honest with yourself and be honest with your confessor. Tell the confessor what you think are mortal sins and what are not mortal sins, and let him know in advance that you will be confessing both or just one or just the other. This will help the confessor determine the disposition he should have to you. Approached with this level of honesty you will help avoid scrupulosity or permissiveness because you will lay it all before the confessor for him to judge.

Last, leave your sins in the confessional. You will sin again because you are human. So, reconcile yourself to that fact and learn to live a life that is completely dependent upon the Lord’s mercy and not ones own power.
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This is beautiful, and sums up my own attitude as well toward this life-affirming sacrament.

The only thing I haven’t done is:
Tell the confessor what you think are mortal sins and what are not mortal sins, and let him know in advance that you will be confessing both or just one or just the other. This will help the confessor determine the disposition he should have to you.
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I tend to assume that it must be obvious to him, by how I describe the content and context. Also, while I am not scrupulous, I am demanding in terms of what I consider sin, which does include sins of omission. I do not confess mere imperfections, but I do confess actions or omissions in which clearly I do “know better” (and did at the time), even if they’re not in the category of “grievous.” But I think your suggestion is an excellent idea, and I shall do that next time.
Thanks, Brother!
 
Elizabeth502 said:
I tend to assume that it must be obvious to him, by how I describe the content and context. Also, while I am not scrupulous, I am demanding in terms of what I consider sin, which does include sins of omission. I do not confess mere imperfections, but I do confess actions or omissions in which clearly I do “know better” (and did at the time), even if they’re not in the category of “grievous.” But I think your suggestion is an excellent idea, and I shall do that next time.
Thanks, Brother!
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Think of it as a mercy for the priest. Hearing confessions is not an easy job and it requires a lot of patience. Even good and holy priests that I know will sometimes complain about hearing confessions. While the opportunity to participate in God’s merciful love is a great gift and consolation for priests it does not negate the penitential aspect of being a Confessor.

If we communicate with the priest clearly and briefly it will demonstrate that we have properly reflected on our objective state. If we just use the confessional as an opportunity to bleed out our emotions then we are not approaching the Sacrament properly. Yes, it does have the effect of being an emotional salve but, long term problems should be reserved to appointments with the priest and spiritual direction.

I could imagine a priest being very thankful for his penitents working to have a clear sense of their sinfulness while at the same time having the spiritual maturity to distinguish between what they think is venial and mortal. It will also help the priest give better council to you in confession. It is also a great barrier against scrupulosity.

Sometimes we think that we have to tell a “sob story” so that we can convince the priest that we are sorry for our sins. But, most priests will tell you that they assume that the penitent is sorry because, otherwise, he would not be coming to Confession. Demonstrating this kind of honest reflection about our sins is a far better sign of contrition than anything else save the gift of tears (which is not the same was weepiness).
 
mosher said:
If we just use the confessional as an opportunity to bleed out our emotions then we are not approaching the Sacrament properly. Yes, it does have the effect of being an emotional salve but, long term problems should be reserved to appointments with the priest and spiritual direction.
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I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. That was not what I thought I had communicated in my post. 🤷

I agree that preparation, honesty, and clarity are most helpful for the priest and ourselves. I try to do that. I’m sure I’m imperfect in those respects, but I do try to do my best in all three.
 
Elizabeth502 said:
I’m sorry if I gave you that impression. That was not what I thought I had communicated in my post. 🤷

I agree that preparation, honesty, and clarity are most helpful for the priest and ourselves. I try to do that. I’m sure I’m imperfect in those respects, but I do try to do my best in all three.
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No, the impression was not given. I was just rambling about the current state of the use of the Sacrament of Penance. You could generally split up a good number of penitents into those who treat it like a counseling session and those who treat it like a Drive-thru window. Neither disposition is particularly helpful. But, to go into all the problems that each group habituates in themselves by their approach to the Sacrament would take too long and is not the point of this thread. But, maybe it is sufficient to say that the former group needs to use their head a little more and the latter group needs to use their heart a little more.
 
mosher said:
No, the impression was not given. I was just rambling about the current state of the use of the Sacrament of Penance. You could generally split up a good number of penitents into those who treat it like a counseling session and those who treat it like a Drive-thru window. Neither disposition is particularly helpful. But, to go into all the problems that each group habituates in themselves by their approach to the Sacrament would take too long and is not the point of this thread. But, maybe it is sufficient to say that the former group needs to use their head a little more and the latter group needs to use their heart a little more.
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Great summary! And I think this is accurate, judging by the ‘conversation’ about it online, at least.
 
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