A beautiful book on confession is ‘Pardon and Peace’ by Alfred Wilson. He was a great spiritual writer, and director to many of the great spiritual directors.
He mentions that for those who go to confession on a regular basis, that the examination of concious need only be a couple of minutes. It is very unlikely you have committed a mortal sin since your last confession! So, instead of fearing the Sacrament and fearing that you have made invalid confessions, which it is obvious that you did not. From all you say here it was valid, and you were absolved from ALL of your sins. So instead of fearing the Sacrament, embrace it as an soothing ointment to improve your soul. The most important thing about confession, is being sorry that you have offended God. He is well pleased by your desire not to be apart from Him, but what He wants more than anything is to have a loving relationship with you. Remember you can do nothing to deserve His love, He created you because He loves you. You are His child. If you could see what He does when you receive Him in Communion you could not doubt that love, but we can only see with our physical eyes… Please try this exercise: Keep repeating “Jesus, I Trust in You” Say it 5-10 times, but slowly. Everytime you start to worry or doubt, repeat those words, then ask Him to make your distrust turn into complete trust. I will pray for you…As St. Theresa of Avila said, Don’t let the fear of sin prevent you from doing the good you are supposed to do." i.e instead of focusing on the things you may have done wrong, focus on things you can do for others. It turns the negative thinking into positive thinking. God Bless you Always, and May His Peace dwell inyour heart.
