Confused aboud NFP

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Starbelle

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Hello everyone!!!

My husband and I are both catholics. However, I have been taking pills for quite some time because of the fact that we really can’t have a baby right now. I know that is not a method approved by the church, therefore I have decided to stop taking them and give NFP a chance. Besides the usual tracking of the symptoms I will also use ovulation tests to be more accurate. But I must admit I am very nervous about it… I’ve read a lot and seems that many people experienced “accidents” with this method. How safe is it really?
I plan on using it to my best of knowledge and extend the abstinence period from the usual 10-14 days to 20-25, just to be on the safe side. What do you think, could this work? Or is it total abstinence a more realistic aproach?

To make everything clear and avoid misunderstandings or any advice that would not suit our situation: We don’t have any kids, I have never been pregnant, I’m 29. It’s not that we wouldn’t want a baby, it’s just that our financial situation is hard, we barely sustain ourselves from month to month. We live in a poor country in Eastern Europe, so any suggestion that would apply to couples living in well-developed countries is not applicable to us. We are trying to improve our situation, but I really don’t know if and when will thing change.

Thanks.
(I hope I have made myself understood since I am not a native speaker)
 
My cycles varied quite a bit and I could always tell when ovulation was on time or delayed. I think that once you have some experience with your charting you’ll have more confidence.
God bless you for giving NFP a chance.
 
If you determine ovulation by signs and have a positive ovulation test then you wait 3 full days after. I really can’t see any reason why this would ever be wrong unless you can’t read the test. Ovulation happens 24-36 hours after the surge in lh hormone which is what the test detects. The egg is viable for 12-24 hours. That’s how they came up with the idea that you wait 3 days until the morning of the 4th day. There may be other considerations as to why they recommend waiting so long after, perhaps they just added a day as a safety factor.

That’s the easy part, the hard part is figuring out when to stop and wait to identify ovulation. You can go based on observations.

This isn’t part of a system as far as I know, but just what we do. We just pick a day to stop on. If her earliest ovulation in the last 6 months was day 13 and is generally day 15 then day 8 is the last available day for relations. Sperm can be viable for 4-6 days.

The time to be cautious and watch carefully is prior to ovulation. After that you’re done.
 
White sheep, I wasn’t even thinking about having relations before ovulation. I would probably go insane until my next period. I was thinking of finding out the O day, waiting at least a week after, just to be extra sure and having relations in the few remainig days before my period.

(name removed by moderator), I know the statistic îs encouraging, but after being on the pill…even on the pill I was being extra carefull, I knew all the possible interactions and everything about it, it was 100% sure. At how scared I am about getting pregnant, I nave to be extra carefull, that’s why I’m asking all these questions.
 
To be ver confident that you won’t get pregnant you’ll probably need to abstain the entire phase 1 (before ovulation) and at least 4 days after ovulation…to be sure.

Hubby and I have had issues with NFP…we’ve gotten pregnant at the worst time and when we were doing our best to avoid.

I wouldn’t use NFP unless I had ovulation detectors (kits or the monitor) to help out.

Personally, I don’t trust any of the interpretation methods…and I’d probably need to use the monitor for a couple of months before I felt comfortable with that.

Right now we’re just abstaining because I want to make sure I don’t get pregnant at all and we can’t afford an expensive monitor.
 
Starbelle said:
I wasn’t even thinking about having relations before ovulation. I would probably go insane until my next period. I was thinking of finding out the O day, waiting at least a week after, just to be extra sure and having relations in the few remainig days before my period.
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There are women on CAF who have actual life or death reasons to avoid who utilize only Phase III (post-ovulatory).

Since you seem to have a “belt and suspenders” approach here, I believe the Marquette method uses a fertility monitor, though I know some CAFers have stated it is too expensive for them - I believe the monitor is about $200 and the testing strips about $20 a month.

Here’s the website:

nfp.marquette.edu/about.php

Also, what is your husband’s perspective on this? Is he fine with going from sex on demand to sex only 3-4 days a month?
 
I haven’t read the other comments–apologies in advance.

Here are some thoughts:
  1. It’s going to be rough coming off the pill–have a look for specific NFP advice for that situation. Read everything you can. If you can, see if you can get hold of the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. (It’s a secular book, so it mentions using barrier methods during the fertile period, but it’s otherwise a fantastic book.)
  2. It may take a long time to get an ovulation after being on the pill. This is actually a bad thing, because ovulation is your primary sign post for infertility. When you can establish time of ovulation, you’re on much firmer ground than when you can’t.
  3. In your shoes, I would start with post-ovulatory Phase 3 NFP (skipping Phase 1), then add Phase 1 once you are confident about your ability to read fertility signs. You might want to skip Phase 1 entirely.
  4. Don’t think in terms of 10-14 days of abstinence or 20-25 days of abstinence–read the actual signs you are getting. If you haven’t ovulated even after 25+ days of abstinence, you may need to keep abstaining even longer and maybe even wait until the next cycle. It’s not just a matter of counting days. This will be especially true with your first couple of post-pill cycles.
  5. With sympto-thermal, you need both sets of checks. So, if the temperatures are iffy, just infertile-looking mucus isn’t enough. If the temperatures are good but mucus is iffy, that’s not enough either. Temperatures alone might be a sign of illness, rather than ovulation and the real ovulation might be a week later.
  6. The more experience you get, the more you’ll be able to trust your judgment.
Best wishes!
Starbelle said:
Hello everyone!!!

My husband and I are both catholics. However, I have been taking pills for quite some time because of the fact that we really can’t have a baby right now. I know that is not a method approved by the church, therefore I have decided to stop taking them and give NFP a chance. Besides the usual tracking of the symptoms I will also use ovulation tests to be more accurate. But I must admit I am very nervous about it… I’ve read a lot and seems that many people experienced “accidents” with this method. How safe is it really?
I plan on using it to my best of knowledge and extend the abstinence period from the usual 10-14 days to 20-25, just to be on the safe side. What do you think, could this work? Or is it total abstinence a more realistic aproach?

To make everything clear and avoid misunderstandings or any advice that would not suit our situation: We don’t have any kids, I have never been pregnant, I’m 29. It’s not that we wouldn’t want a baby, it’s just that our financial situation is hard, we barely sustain ourselves from month to month. We live in a poor country in Eastern Europe, so any suggestion that would apply to couples living in well-developed countries is not applicable to us. We are trying to improve our situation, but I really don’t know if and when will thing change.

Thanks.
(I hope I have made myself understood since I am not a native speaker)
Click to expand...
 
Starbelle,
I can’t help you, but you were perfectly clear despite the fact you are not an native speaker of English; in fact, I would not have guessed from your post that your native language was different 🙂 Hope your husband is with you in this and may God bless you both, now, and in the future that your circumstances may change!
 
It may take a few months to get back to regular cycles and a few months to become more confident in interpretting the signs. It isn’t something you really figure out in two weeks. I’m not a woman, so that’s just what I’ve gathered.
 
Xantippe said:
I haven’t read the other comments–apologies in advance.

Here are some thoughts:
  1. It’s going to be rough coming off the pill–have a look for specific NFP advice for that situation. Read everything you can. If you can, see if you can get hold of the book Taking Charge of Your Fertility. (It’s a secular book, so it mentions using barrier methods during the fertile period, but it’s otherwise a fantastic book.)
  2. It may take a long time to get an ovulation after being on the pill. This is actually a bad thing, because ovulation is your primary sign post for infertility. When you can establish time of ovulation, you’re on much firmer ground than when you can’t.
  3. In your shoes, I would start with post-ovulatory Phase 3 NFP (skipping Phase 1), then add Phase 1 once you are confident about your ability to read fertility signs. You might want to skip Phase 1 entirely.
  4. Don’t think in terms of 10-14 days of abstinence or 20-25 days of abstinence–read the actual signs you are getting. If you haven’t ovulated even after 25+ days of abstinence, you may need to keep abstaining even longer and maybe even wait until the next cycle. It’s not just a matter of counting days. This will be especially true with your first couple of post-pill cycles.
  5. With sympto-thermal, you need both sets of checks. So, if the temperatures are iffy, just infertile-looking mucus isn’t enough. If the temperatures are good but mucus is iffy, that’s not enough either. Temperatures alone might be a sign of illness, rather than ovulation and the real ovulation might be a week later.
  6. The more experience you get, the more you’ll be able to trust your judgment.
Best wishes!
Click to expand...
I think this is all excellent advice.

I am a former Pill user and even though I wasn’t charting then, it definitely took a while for things to “sort themselves out.” When you’re learning, it is probably advisable to abstain more or even abstain completely until you have confidence in interpreting. I am not sure about the availability where you live, but some places do offer courses with instructors who could help you learn to read your signals and interpret charts. There are also apps if you have a smartphone that will do some of the interpretive work, or websites like FertilityFriend.
 
Xantippe said:
  1. It may take a long time to get an ovulation after being on the pill. This is actually a bad thing, because ovulation is your primary sign post for infertility. When you can establish time of ovulation, you’re on much firmer ground than when you can’t.
  2. In your shoes, I would start with post-ovulatory Phase 3 NFP (skipping Phase 1), then add Phase 1 once you are confident about your ability to read fertility signs. You might want to skip Phase 1 entirely.
  3. Don’t think in terms of 10-14 days of abstinence or 20-25 days of abstinence–read the actual signs you are getting. If you haven’t ovulated even after 25+ days of abstinence, you may need to keep abstaining even longer and maybe even wait until the next cycle. It’s not just a matter of counting days. This will be especially true with your first couple of post-pill cycles.
Click to expand...
This is sound advice. But…it will test your resolve, and your husband’s resolve perhaps moreso (simply because men often, not always, have the higher sex drive). So you will need to discuss with him how you will manage this and in particular how you will both try to manage affection during times of abstinence; it can be very difficult! My advice is to not start something you can’t finish, which essentially means keeping physical affection to a minimum during periods of abstinence.

This will in turn test your resolve to avoid pregnancy in general. If you really need to avoid, you will be quite strict. But if you find your desire for intimacy is winning out, then maybe your reasons are not as serious as you think (this will likely change over time of course). Lots of Catholic babies are conceived this way…it is one of the God-given blessings of NFP in my opinion. Anyway, cross that bridge when you get to it.
 
Starbelle said:
Hello everyone!!!

My husband and I are both catholics. However, I have been taking pills for quite some time because of the fact that we really can’t have a baby right now. I know that is not a method approved by the church, therefore I have decided to stop taking them and give NFP a chance. Besides the usual tracking of the symptoms I will also use ovulation tests to be more accurate. But I must admit I am very nervous about it… I’ve read a lot and seems that many people experienced “accidents” with this method. How safe is it really?
I plan on using it to my best of knowledge and extend the abstinence period from the usual 10-14 days to 20-25, just to be on the safe side. What do you think, could this work? Or is it total abstinence a more realistic aproach?

To make everything clear and avoid misunderstandings or any advice that would not suit our situation: We don’t have any kids, I have never been pregnant, I’m 29. It’s not that we wouldn’t want a baby, it’s just that our financial situation is hard, we barely sustain ourselves from month to month. We live in a poor country in Eastern Europe, so any suggestion that would apply to couples living in well-developed countries is not applicable to us. We are trying to improve our situation, but I really don’t know if and when will thing change.

Thanks.
(I hope I have made myself understood since I am not a native speaker)
Click to expand...
My husband was like that too, very nervous and unsure , and for his sake and ease, we invested on a Ladycomp . It is around 500.00 dollars, but it’s so worth it and you won’t have to worry about a thing.
 
Also, you can download the app called OvuView.

Before the Ladycomp, we used mom’s method of calculating how many days are each of my cycles and then devide it by two and that number and the day before are possible days of ovulation and we would abstain those days and four days before and four days after.

But you can go like Kelfa says, and abstain all days before ovulation and three days after it, and then have sex until the last day of menstruation.
 
Thanks you all for replying.
I don’t think my husband will have any trouble with this, we have discussed the issue. Anyway, in the past months my libido was practically nonexistent (i suspect the pills are to blame) so 3 or 4 days a month would be an improvement in our case.
E_7, I searched Ladycomp online. From what I understood it uses only basal temperature to determine fertile days. Wouldn’t temping and charting be the same thing? I use an app to keep everything organised, pen and paper would definitely be way to hard. It’s not available in my country and the price…above what we earn in a month.
Does anyone know if the ovulation monitors that use saliva are to be trusted? I’ve read about them and it seems many women have a hard time interpreting the results. I believe you have to look through a microscope, they cost about the equivalent of 60$ in my country, I don’t know if they are popular anywhere else.
 
Kelfa28 said:
To be ver confident that you won’t get pregnant you’ll probably need to abstain the entire phase 1 (before ovulation) and at least 4 days after ovulation…to be sure.

Hubby and I have had issues with NFP…we’ve gotten pregnant at the worst time and when we were doing our best to avoid.

I wouldn’t use NFP unless I had ovulation detectors (kits or the monitor) to help out.

Personally, I don’t trust any of the interpretation methods…and I’d probably need to use the monitor for a couple of months before I felt comfortable with that.

Right now we’re just abstaining because I want to make sure I don’t get pregnant at all and we can’t afford an expensive monitor.
Click to expand...
I would go along with all of that - exactly my experience.
 
Starbelle said:
Thanks you all for replying.
I don’t think my husband will have any trouble with this, we have discussed the issue. Anyway, in the past months my libido was practically nonexistent (i suspect the pills are to blame) so 3 or 4 days a month would be an improvement in our case.
E_7, I searched Ladycomp online. From what I understood it uses only basal temperature to determine fertile days. Wouldn’t temping and charting be the same thing? I use an app to keep everything organised, pen and paper would definitely be way to hard. It’s not available in my country and the price…above what we earn in a month.
Does anyone know if the ovulation monitors that use saliva are to be trusted? I’ve read about them and it seems many women have a hard time interpreting the results. I believe you have to look through a microscope, they cost about the equivalent of 60$ in my country, I don’t know if they are popular anywhere else.
Click to expand...
Don’t do the saliva thing unless they’ve really improved the technology or you try it as a double check and find that it’s accurate for you.

I did it early on and we didn’t get the “ferning” pattern at all.
 
That’s what I’m talking about, a lot of women state that they can’t see the ferning pattern. 60$ isn’t that much, taking into account that it is the equivalent of six months of OPKs, but if doesn’t work properly… I thinking I’ll sticlă with the classic OPK.
 
Starbelle said:
That’s what I’m talking about, a lot of women state that they can’t see the ferning pattern. 60$ isn’t that much, taking into account that it is the equivalent of six months of OPKs, but if doesn’t work properly… I thinking I’ll sticlă with the classic OPK.
Click to expand...
Yeah.

I don’t think we spent that much on the little microscope and slides we used (it’s been a long time ago, so I can’t remember exactly), but it was still very disappointing.
 
Starbelle said:
Thanks you all for replying.
I don’t think my husband will have any trouble with this, we have discussed the issue. Anyway, in the past months my libido was practically nonexistent (i suspect the pills are to blame) so 3 or 4 days a month would be an improvement in our case.
E_7, I searched Ladycomp online. From what I understood it uses only basal temperature to determine fertile days. Wouldn’t temping and charting be the same thing? I use an app to keep everything organised, pen and paper would definitely be way to hard. It’s not available in my country and the price…above what we earn in a month.
Does anyone know if the ovulation monitors that use saliva are to be trusted? I’ve read about them and it seems many women have a hard time interpreting the results. I believe you have to look through a microscope, they cost about the equivalent of 60$ in my country, I don’t know if they are popular anywhere else.
Click to expand...
If Ladycomp is no option for you, you can use a regular oral thermometer to take your temperature under the tongue on the same side every morning after waking up, without getting up or moving too much. Have the thermometer near you, under a pillow for example. But it will be in your hands to put the data in the app (I use Ovuview) and analyze it along with other symptoms like the texture of the mucus and the calendar counting.

The best explanation of NFP I’ve found over the internet comes from the UK: nfpta.org.uk/tutorials.html

Direct pdf link on how to do nfp for postpone pregnancy nfpta.org.uk/pdfs/How-to-Chart-to-Postpone-Pregnancy.pdf (there are pictures of the mucus between fingers so you have an idea).
 
E_7 said:
If Ladycomp is no option for you, you can use a regular oral thermometer to take your temperature under the tongue on the same side every morning after waking up, without getting up or moving too much. Have the thermometer near you, under a pillow for example. But it will be in your hands to put the data in the app (I use Ovuview) and analyze it along with other symptoms like the texture of the mucus and the calendar counting.
Click to expand...
I will say I prefer a specific basal body temperature thermometer as opposed to a regular fever thermometer because regular thermometers don’t always go very low. I temp very low (if I’m 98.6 I’m probably running a fever). The ones meant for BBT seem to take that into account.
 
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