Confused about Cohabitation

[AGebby]

Your living situation was never discussed with a priest while you went through rcia to convert? Talk to your priest.

You said you mentioned that you live with your boyfriend in confession… so did you think it was only a venial sin?

Make a appointment with a priest to talk to him about this. Talk to a priest. You cannot commit mortal sin without knowing it is mortal sin, that is true. Even if you are not living in sin if you are truly living like brother and sister, other things would be good to be addressed and a plan formulated. Why no marriage yet? Is there a plan for marriage in the near future? These are things you need to talk to a priest about.

I am under the impression that as long as you are living like brother and sister, it is not a mortal sin in and of itself to live with someone of the opposite sex that you consider your boyfriend or girlfriend. But every situation is different. And it is generally not considered a good idea.

Consider it spiritual growth that you are concerned about if you are living in sin or not. How many people do not care about living in sin? More than do I am sure. Our God is merciful. Talk to a priest about your situation, ask him the questions. God bless.

Quite honestly I didn’t go through RCIA when I converted. I began by attending a Latin mass, and the oratory I attended just set me up with a Japanese priest I had classes with once every two weeks for a few months. We just read the Cathechism together and made sure I understood and accepted the Catholic faith. I’m sure there was a lot I missed, not going through RCIA, and honestly I didn’t know that even existed at the time. I am meeting with a priest today to speak about it, and am discussing beginning marriage prep with my boyfriend. We planned on marrying within the next year or two depending on finances, really. That’s why I live with him in the first place, I’m getting my Master’s and we were going to wait but now I think it’s best we just take part in the sacrament without all the bells and whistles! We’re ready and it’s time. Thank you everyone for your advice and prayers, this is a great forum. I’m so lucky to have found the one true faith.

 

[AGebby]

Okay you don’t have to answer this, since honestly I am Just curious. Why have you been living with your boyfriend for two years? That is a pretty long time to be chaste especially. Good for you though really. You didn’t call him your “fiancé” so I am assuming this situation is going to continue for a while still?

Like I said, just curious this seems different to me but you are doing a good job so please be assured of my prayers!

Well, we’ve been together for four years, and I converted midway through our relationship. My parent’s separated VERY suddenly about 2 years ago and I didn’t want to live at home with my mother and her new boyfriend who she immediately let move in (some strange man who moved into my father’s house) So, I asked my boyfriend if I could live with him and he gave me a place to stay. Now I wish I would have just stayed at home and dealt with my mother… but at the time it was a very, very bad place to stay. I still consider it to be, my relationship with my mother isn’t repaired yet still so… it’s just a mess. I couldn’t afford to live on my own, I’m a grad student now with just a part time job. I could have dealt with the stuff at home but I chose to run

 

[LethalMouse]

Well, we’ve been together for four years, and I converted midway through our relationship. My parent’s separated VERY suddenly about 2 years ago and I didn’t want to live at home with my mother and her new boyfriend who she immediately let move in (some strange man who moved into my father’s house) So, I asked my boyfriend if I could live with him and he gave me a place to stay. Now I wish I would have just stayed at home and dealt with my mother… but at the time it was a very, very bad place to stay. I still consider it to be, my relationship with my mother isn’t repaired yet still so… it’s just a mess. I couldn’t afford to live on my own, I’m a grad student now with just a part time job. I could have dealt with the stuff at home but I chose to run

It sounds like you made a good choice, got a guy who respects your conversion to chastity… umm you shouldn’tregret much.

 

[Hoosier_Daddy]

What finances are preventing you from getting married? This sacrament need not be a financial drain on you.

 

[Wesrock]

I’m happy to hear your are planning marriage! I think plenty has already been said. All I’ll repeat is to please seek guidance from a priest on your living situation.

 

[AGebby]

Thanks everyone, I just returned from my confession and conversation with a local priest. All is well and now I’m dedicating time to making reparation for my sins and sorting stuff out. I feel much better about it all. But please, pray for me! That would grant me much peace.

 

[Anglewannabe]

I converted to the Catholic faith about 2 1/2 years ago. The entire experience has been a never ending journey of learning and revelations about myself and my sinful nature as a human being. This past Lent was my most fruitful one. I made weekly confessions, whole heartedly dedicated myself to prayer and acts of charity, spiritual reading, attending daily mass, etc. I’ve felt great about it, it was the happiest I’ve been, ever.

But, today I am troubled. I listened to a homily online by a priest, the message was of the grave sin committed by couples who are unmarried but living together, even if they don’t commit sins against purity. That is exactly my situation. I’ve lived with my boyfriend for about 2 years.** I was absolutely distraught **to hear this, seriously thinking I had been in a state of grace while refraining entirely from sins against purity.

There are 2 ways to look at it. You could be distraught to learn something new about the faith or… you could see what you wrote ‘THIS PAST LENT WAS YOUR MOST FRUITFULL ONE’ Don’t you see it was a fruit for God to show you the next step in your growth to holiness???

Do you see what I mean?

 

[LaughingBoy1503]

Quite honestly I didn’t go through RCIA when I converted. I began by attending a Latin mass, and the oratory I attended just set me up with a Japanese priest I had classes with once every two weeks for a few months. We just read the Cathechism together and made sure I understood and accepted the Catholic faith. I’m sure there was a lot I missed, not going through RCIA, and honestly I didn’t know that even existed at the time. I am meeting with a priest today to speak about it, and am discussing beginning marriage prep with my boyfriend. We planned on marrying within the next year or two depending on finances, really. That’s why I live with him in the first place, I’m getting my Master’s and we were going to wait but now I think it’s best we just take part in the sacrament without all the bells and whistles! We’re ready and it’s time. Thank you everyone for your advice and prayers, this is a great forum. I’m so lucky to have found the one true faith.

It shows that you care a lot about your faith and obedience to our Lord because at least you went and talked to a priest about this. A lot would not.

Hey, you did not necessarily miss much by not going through RCIA. Mine was very elementary. 2 hours a week for 8 months, more or less, is not a lot of time. They cannot cover everything you need to know. Not even the surface. Our Deacon, who was in charge of RCIA when I was going through it told the class that we need to be reading up on our own too. I did because I was a convert. I did everyday for about a year and a half. The class had to be very elementary though because about 8 out of 10 people in the class did not even own a Bible…

Prayers said for you. God bless

 

[EleanorArr]

Quite honestly I didn’t go through RCIA when I converted. I began by attending a Latin mass, and the oratory I attended just set me up with a Japanese priest I had classes with once every two weeks for a few months. We just read the Cathechism together and made sure I understood and accepted the Catholic faith. I’m sure there was a lot I missed, not going through RCIA, and honestly I didn’t know that even existed at the time. I am meeting with a priest today to speak about it, and am discussing beginning marriage prep with my boyfriend. We planned on marrying within the next year or two depending on finances, really. That’s why I live with him in the first place, I’m getting my Master’s and we were going to wait but now I think it’s best we just take part in the sacrament without all the bells and whistles! We’re ready and it’s time. Thank you everyone for your advice and prayers, this is a great forum. I’m so lucky to have found the one true faith.

To me it sounds like you and your boyfriend have very much the right attitude and I’m so happy for you that however challenging it might be at times you have remained chaste, and together. I think the Church is blessed by having couples like you within her

God bless you both and good luck