K
Kyson
Guest
Hello everyone.
I’m a teenager in the last year of high school. When the school year finishes (without any failed subject), one has to do a national exam for entering college.
Things have changed a lot for me these past years. In particular, the two optional preparatory years for college. It’s a long story.
Before them, my grades in some subjects weren’t the best ones. I was studying the middle grade of Music (being outside my town and having to have passed an entrance exam) in the afternoon by then, although I quitted at the end of third cycle because Music required me an effort and dedication that unfortunately I wasn’t able to give anymore at this level at school). Nonetheless, I could get really good grades in general. All my life I have been a student with excelent grades.
When this two years came… everything fell on me. My grades dropped at high speed. Last year I managed to pass all the subjects, though this year I started to fail subjects. I was horrified by the thought of my parents (especially my mother) getting angry at me.
It’s been a long time since I don’t feel very well although the fear paralyzed me. Thinking about being labeled as crazy or all what could go wrong stopped me in my tracks.
I got the courage to telling my mother how I was feeling and what was happening. She helped me looking for a private teacher. Now I share everything with her and I can pass exams that before I couldn’t even start or do properly. Even though, I’m still struggling with the subjects that I failed (the topics I failed before telling my mother or the ones hard for me to understand) or need a significant amount of memorizing. Anyway, I have improved a lot compared to the first semester.
The problem is, my grades in these two years are the 60 % and the national exam is the 40% of the mark one has to choose a degree. Almost all science degrees (I chose the biological science path) have a minimum grade of 10/12 more or less. My terrible grades had left me out of the race for these ones.While first I have to take care of passing the ones I failed. I’m worried I won’t be able to pass them in this month as I have the pressure of having the national exam in June and the possibility of having to stay another year at home. All I can do for now is trying my best I guess.
What leaves me thinking is, where I should go after that? What if my grades are not enough for anything? What is the sense of having musical, artistic or writing abilities? People underestimate them and think they are too easy or have no value. Then, when you are inside of that (tough) world, you are only a pawn surrounded by a fierce competition of outstanding, very young and gifted artists fighting for one of the few positions left. What path I should choose for not ending without nothing? Why even bother if I am not able to compete against their skills? I don’t want to be a fool blinded by impossible dreams. I can’t go practising anywhere to know more about careers and discover definitely what I would like to do.
To be continued ------->
I’m a teenager in the last year of high school. When the school year finishes (without any failed subject), one has to do a national exam for entering college.
Things have changed a lot for me these past years. In particular, the two optional preparatory years for college. It’s a long story.
Before them, my grades in some subjects weren’t the best ones. I was studying the middle grade of Music (being outside my town and having to have passed an entrance exam) in the afternoon by then, although I quitted at the end of third cycle because Music required me an effort and dedication that unfortunately I wasn’t able to give anymore at this level at school). Nonetheless, I could get really good grades in general. All my life I have been a student with excelent grades.
When this two years came… everything fell on me. My grades dropped at high speed. Last year I managed to pass all the subjects, though this year I started to fail subjects. I was horrified by the thought of my parents (especially my mother) getting angry at me.
It’s been a long time since I don’t feel very well although the fear paralyzed me. Thinking about being labeled as crazy or all what could go wrong stopped me in my tracks.
I got the courage to telling my mother how I was feeling and what was happening. She helped me looking for a private teacher. Now I share everything with her and I can pass exams that before I couldn’t even start or do properly. Even though, I’m still struggling with the subjects that I failed (the topics I failed before telling my mother or the ones hard for me to understand) or need a significant amount of memorizing. Anyway, I have improved a lot compared to the first semester.
The problem is, my grades in these two years are the 60 % and the national exam is the 40% of the mark one has to choose a degree. Almost all science degrees (I chose the biological science path) have a minimum grade of 10/12 more or less. My terrible grades had left me out of the race for these ones.While first I have to take care of passing the ones I failed. I’m worried I won’t be able to pass them in this month as I have the pressure of having the national exam in June and the possibility of having to stay another year at home. All I can do for now is trying my best I guess.
What leaves me thinking is, where I should go after that? What if my grades are not enough for anything? What is the sense of having musical, artistic or writing abilities? People underestimate them and think they are too easy or have no value. Then, when you are inside of that (tough) world, you are only a pawn surrounded by a fierce competition of outstanding, very young and gifted artists fighting for one of the few positions left. What path I should choose for not ending without nothing? Why even bother if I am not able to compete against their skills? I don’t want to be a fool blinded by impossible dreams. I can’t go practising anywhere to know more about careers and discover definitely what I would like to do.
To be continued ------->
, I labored at reading ALL
I will keep you in my prayers.
) . Well, people have been very supportive in this forum despite being a new member (I have the encouragement of my parents as well), although it’s hard for me to believe all those positive facts about me even if I want to.