Confused much? Please help!

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SacredHeartFan

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Ok so heres the run-down of my story:
Last year I “came out” to the world as a gay man. I attempted to keep faith and sexuality bound together. That didnt happen so I dropped faith completely. Then, over the summer I was sent on a youth trip to a Stuebenville Youth Conference and had a moving and powerful experience with the Eucharist. I was faithfully practicing for about a month and fell back into the “gay” image. As it progress, stated bluntly, I became a whore. I slept with two guys. Then a non-denominational friend of mine invited me to her Church and a retreat. So I went. I found God and repented. I was Christian for about, ooohhhh lets say, two weeks. Then I was gay again. This time slept with four guys. Now I’m here. Broken-hearted, rejected by my home parish church, ridiculed at my school, and overall ashamed of my existance. What now? I know everyone on here is going to say “Go to confession!” But after everything I have done that doesnt seem like enough! I miss the Church alot. It gave me comfort. But I felt the need for love so I followed my desires and labled myself gay. Now I’m lost, hurt, confused, and angry. Help?
 
I am begging someone to please answer this post! :bighanky:
 
SacredHeartFan said:
someone please help!
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I’m not sure what to say. This is one of those cases where the internet may be a little too impersonal to be helpful. I am thinking of a lot of things, but without knowing you, I don’t exactly want to say something insensitive that would hurt you more. Just a question, you don’t need to answer if you don’t want to. Or maybe it will be therapeutic for you to get it off your chest. Are people treating you badly now that you come out and you don’t feel welcome in your faith community anymore? Even when you go to mass? I hope that’s not the case.

Give me a few minutes and I’ll try my best to post something.

PS: Others will come around. Threads tend to get buried on these forums I noticed.
 
I live in a rural south louisiana Catholic town. People’s feelings in my parish border on hate and contempt for me. There are possibly two families in my parish that have shown any mercy whatsoever.
 
My friend,

This is a grace you have spotted. You have seen how you’ve searched in the pleasures of this world (as Augustine would say), yet you’re still empty. You are longing for more.

I would recommend sitting down with a priest. Set a time with him and try to get some things sorted out. Remember, everyone falls, but many do not have the faith to get back up. You are not alone on this journey. We are a Universal church and our prayers are with you.

“Our hearts are restless until they rest in You.”

Take care, God bless & good luck!

-Matt
 
:dts: sigh. This is very sad how quickly people forget their duties as catholics. We are all sinners. I am sorry to hear what you experienced in your parish.

Well, the Lord was hated, suffered and persecuted too. We all have our particular crosses to bear, yours is a particularly harsh one.

I am glad to hear you still seek the Lord out. It’s because what you’ve been doing hasn’t made you whole or loved. Temporary pleasures will just never do that. Sorry for the lecture…

I think you should pray. I hope you will. Especially pray the rosary. Ask God to unite your suffering with his own on the cross. The Lord is closest to those who share in his passion.

I know you don’t want to hear it but you should go to confession. God gives special grace in the confessional and with him you are capable of overcoming this and so much more.

I hope that things get better for you. Maybe you can go to another church? 😦

I will pray for you.
 
Kontrak said:
:dts: sigh. This is very sad how quickly people forget their duties as catholics. We are all sinners. I am sorry to hear what you experienced in your parish.

Well, the Lord was hated, suffered and persecuted too. We all have our particular crosses to bear, yours is a particularly harsh one.

I am glad to hear you still seek the Lord out. It’s because what you’ve been doing hasn’t made you whole or loved. Temporary pleasures will just never do that. Sorry for the lecture…

I think you should pray. I hope you will. Especially pray the rosary. Ask God to unite your suffering with his own on the cross. The Lord is closest to those who share in his passion.

I know you don’t want to hear it but you should go to confession. God gives special grace in the confessional and with him you are capable of overcoming this and so much more.

I hope that things get better for you. Maybe you can go to another church? 😦

I will pray for you.
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👍
 
I think you should take down your bit about wanting to be a Priest. You are not called to be a Priest! I am celibate, and know that if God is calling you, it is not that hard to be celibate!

QUOTE=SacredHeartFan;7314349]Ok so heres the run-down of my story:
Last year I “came out” to the world as a gay man. I attempted to keep faith and sexuality bound together. That didnt happen so I dropped faith completely. Then, over the summer I was sent on a youth trip to a Stuebenville Youth Conference and had a moving and powerful experience with the Eucharist. I was faithfully practicing for about a month and fell back into the “gay” image. As it progress, stated bluntly, I became a whore. I slept with two guys. Then a non-denominational friend of mine invited me to her Church and a retreat. So I went. I found God and repented. I was Christian for about, ooohhhh lets say, two weeks. Then I was gay again. This time slept with four guys. Now I’m here. Broken-hearted, rejected by my home parish church, ridiculed at my school, and overall ashamed of my existance. What now? I know everyone on here is going to say “Go to confession!” But after everything I have done that doesnt seem like enough! I miss the Church alot. It gave me comfort. But I felt the need for love so I followed my desires and labled myself gay. Now I’m lost, hurt, confused, and angry. Help?
 
SacredHeartFan said:
Ok so heres the run-down of my story:
Last year I “came out” to the world as a gay man. I attempted to keep faith and sexuality bound together. That didnt happen so I dropped faith completely. Then, over the summer I was sent on a youth trip to a Stuebenville Youth Conference and had a moving and powerful experience with the Eucharist. I was faithfully practicing for about a month and fell back into the “gay” image. As it progress, stated bluntly, I became a whore. I slept with two guys. Then a non-denominational friend of mine invited me to her Church and a retreat. So I went. I found God and repented. I was Christian for about, ooohhhh lets say, two weeks. Then I was gay again. This time slept with four guys. Now I’m here. Broken-hearted, rejected by my home parish church, ridiculed at my school, and overall ashamed of my existance. What now? I know everyone on here is going to say “Go to confession!” But after everything I have done that doesnt seem like enough! I miss the Church alot. It gave me comfort. But I felt the need for love so I followed my desires and labled myself gay. Now I’m lost, hurt, confused, and angry. Help?
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Married men suffer from sexual sin also.And the most advised thing to help them overcome this sin in their life is frequent reception of the sacrement of reconcillation.
You know your only option is to be chaste, yes a tougher cross to bear than a married man. But with the graces and healing obtained through the sacrement of reconcillation will make the cross easier to bear. Pray for the virtue of patience.
 
So sorry to hear of your troubles. Just a couple of quick suggestions. Quick but important.

Yes, GO TO CONFESSION. Nothing will be fixed without that. Your sins are not bigger than God’s forgiveness.

Could you start again in a new parish?

Finally, check out the Courage website to see if there’s a group in your diocese. It’s extremely helpful to those trying to live a chaste life while suffering SSA.

Betsy
 
SHF :grouphug: I’m glad that you were able to share this with us. I can hear the pain in your post. I very much want to help, but please forgive me if I say anything unhelpful.

In addition to the fine suggestions already offered (confession, reception of the Eucharist, etc) …

Has anyone recommended Courage to you? I have seen them recommended by several CAF’ers in the past:

couragerc.net/

Another suggestion which I would make is: FASTING. You could look at fasting as beneficial in two ways: as an aid to chastity (helping to conquer unhealthy desires and just gaining control over your physical self), and also for penance/repentance, which you have expressed a need for.

Another website which might be helpful with chastity from a Catholic perspective (I looked through it a bit, it seems pretty orthodox): chastitysf.com/selfhelp.htm and chastitysf.com/self-help.htm

I’ll add my prayers to the others already promised for you. I’m so sorry you’re hurting, but just remember that there are people here who are in your corner, fighting spiritually for you :knight2::knight1:

May God bless you richly, SHF!
 
Ah - two of us recommending Courage at the same minute! Must be a sign. Please do check it out! 🙂
 
Thank you for posting your question. I’m sure you are NOT the only person in this situation!

Yes, try to go to another Catholic Church the next city/county over. Unfortunately sometimes we do need a “geographic” change to start anew.

Seek guidance from the Scriptures, and try to find a spiritual director (priest/nun/religious brother) to meet with on a regular basis to help you grow.

Thanks again for posting - - - you are not alone!
 
baltobetsy said:
So sorry to hear of your troubles. Just a couple of quick suggestions. Quick but important.

Yes, GO TO CONFESSION. Nothing will be fixed without that. Your sins are not bigger than God’s forgiveness.

Could you start again in a new parish?

Finally, check out the Courage website to see if there’s a group in your diocese. It’s extremely helpful to those trying to live a chaste life while suffering SSA.

Betsy
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I agree.

In addition, you might want to seek out the services of a good Catholic counselor. There may be reasons that you are unaware of that draw you to the “gay” lifestyle. Not that a counselor is going to “fix” you i.e. make you “un-gay”, but might be able to help you identify IF there are issues that you need to deal with, for example, self-esteem (which may or may not be be problematic for you).
 
Newbie2 said:
I agree.

In addition, you might want to seek out the services of a good Catholic counselor. There may be reasons that you are unaware of that draw you to the “gay” lifestyle. Not that a counselor is going to “fix” you i.e. make you “un-gay”, but might be able to help you identify IF there are issues that you need to deal with, for example, self-esteem (which may or may not be be problematic for you).
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I already know the problem. When I was younger, two of my older cousins took advantage of me sexually. Both guys. That conitnued for about six years. The only way I can think to fix it would be to get laid by a girl. But that would be just as bad wouldnt it? So I’m stuck in this place. There is no way out that I can possibly see.
 
SacredHeartFan said:
There is no way out that I can possibly see.
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Right - on your own. Get some help from Courage, a priest or a Catholic therapist.

On the other hand, as long as you say there is no way out, there isn’t. Don’t do that to yourself.
 
You are being clouded by the depression of your sins. Don’t go that route. Go to Confession. It’s really the only thing that can help majorly, besides the Eucharist of course. So go to Confession. Meet with a priest. Don’t give up!!! “It’s not about the number of times you fall down, but the number of times you get back up”.

God’s mercy is infinite, and you can access that mercy through prayer and Confession- and the Eucharist. Become a fan of the Holy Rosary. Carry one with you and get in the habit of saying it. The Rosary, combined with Confession and frequent reception of the Eucharist, will work literal miracles. Please give it a try.

Let ms reiterate- don’t give up!!! God will always accept you back with open arms, but you have to get there yourself (through the Sacraments).

So pray and make frequent use of Confession and the Eucharist. Again- don’t give up! 👍
 
SacredHeartFan said:
I already know the problem. When I was younger, two of my older cousins took advantage of me sexually. Both guys. That conitnued for about six years. The only way I can think to fix it would be to get laid by a girl. But that would be just as bad wouldnt it? So I’m stuck in this place. There is no way out that I can possibly see.
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Absolutely not. That will not help you, it will not “fix” you.

You need the help of a counselor/therapist and priest. Start with the priest. He can help you get the help you need. This is more complicated than it sounds.
 
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