Confused

[David_Vestal]

All,

I was raised every protestant denomination, when I was a young teenager I used to go down and hang out at the local Catholic bookstore, shortly after I made my confirmation into the Church. Now because of my living situation and stuff, I met a guy at work who was showing me some things in the Bible and he really made me see alot of things, I am so confused: Half of me wants to believe all the Catholic rules the other half wants to believe just in reading the bible and trying to be a good person. I feel that as a Catholic I would be damned to hell because I commit so many mortal sins that trying to live a Catholic life is a un-obtainable goal for me, as a human being I feel that I fall short of the catholic goal and can never obtain. However I feel if I just read the Bible and believe in God if that gets me salvation then I can do that!

 

[ralphinal]

All,

I was raised every protestant denomination, when I was a young teenager I used to go down and hang out at the local Catholic bookstore, shortly after I made my confirmation into the Church. Now because of my living situation and stuff, I met a guy at work who was showing me some things in the Bible and he really made me see alot of things, I am so confused: Half of me wants to believe all the Catholic rules the other half wants to believe just in reading the bible and trying to be a good person. I feel that as a Catholic I would be damned to hell because I commit so many mortal sins that trying to live a Catholic life is a un-obtainable goal for me, as a human being I feel that I fall short of the catholic goal and can never obtain. However I feel if I just read the Bible and believe in God if that gets me salvation then I can do that!

If you relied only on the Bible, does that mean you will not sin? No matter what faith you are, you are human and you will sin. A sin is a sin no matter your faith. Use confession and prayer to help. Seek counciling if you need to. Find a good preist and spiritual director. Read carefully in the Bible: it is not presented as a “you and God alone” but a journey of a fellowship of believers. Use that fellowship to your advantage.

If you have a specific question, ask it. Look on the catholic answers website for information. PM me, if nothing else. I will help as best I can without judging.

Sticking your spiritual head in the spiritual sand will not make the dangers go away. The Catholic goal is higher, but there is more support and help for you to achieve it.

 

[lukewarm]

Catholicism can be maddening, at times it feels hopeless and the best I can hope for is mellenia of being tortured in purgatory. It’s tough to practice Catholcism and not be made mad with scrupulosity. The never ending cycle of sinning, going to a priest, doing a few Hail Mary’s and getting on with it only to do the same sins again and again and go to the same priest and recite more Hail Mary’s can become rather rote and make one feel pretty worthless.

That said the Bible only crowd has thier fair share of problems, for one whose nterpretation of the Bible is correct? There are infinite interpretations depending on the Church you attend or even the layman you ask. It is completely hopeless and endless confusion in my experience.

Most of the stuff you are being shown is probably very easily defended. You can look up most of the defenses here on Catholci Answers.

 

[daeve]

All,

I was raised every protestant denomination, when I was a young teenager I used to go down and hang out at the local Catholic bookstore, shortly after I made my confirmation into the Church. Now because of my living situation and stuff, I met a guy at work who was showing me some things in the Bible and he really made me see alot of things, I am so confused: Half of me wants to believe all the Catholic rules the other half wants to believe just in reading the bible and trying to be a good person. I feel that as a Catholic I would be damned to hell because I commit so many mortal sins that trying to live a Catholic life is a un-obtainable goal for me, as a human being I feel that I fall short of the catholic goal and can never obtain. However I feel if I just read the Bible and believe in God if that gets me salvation then I can do that!

So if I understand right, some guy showed you things in the Bible that makes you think things the Catholic Church teaches are wrong? You think you’re damned because of the sins you commit, but by reading the Bible and believing in God you get saved…no matter what you do?

First, let me suggest you make a list of those things he’s showed you, and check out what the Church really says. Go to the main section of this website and put each thing in the search bar. You’ll probably find most of them there. Are we talking about the standard anti-Catholic baloney like “call no man Father”, worshipping Mary, etc? Read up, and you’ll see that we don’t believe half the things “they” think we do.

Second, if something in your living situation is causing you to sin (I may have misunderstood what you were trying to say), then change your living situation. There is no sin that God won’t forgive if you ask Him. Go to confession, sincerely confess your sins, and make a firm resolve to sin no more. You will sin again…you’re human. But God isn’t human, He’s God, and will continue to forgive you if you’re really sorry for your sins. The priest will help you too, making suggestions about avoiding the sins that give you trouble.

Don’t walk away from the truth of the Catholic Church until you know what the truth is. There’s a lot of anit-Catholic sentiment out there, just waiting to tell you how we’re wrong. Right now, you have to opportunity to experience the fullness of the faith. Don’t throw that away because some guy points out a few things in the Bible and says we’re wrong.

 

[The_GreyPilgrim]

^ To add to what’s above Dave pray. Pray for God’s help to protect you and keep you from those temptations to sin. Pray for Him to remind you of His presence always. Pray the rosary. Thank Him every day.

And when you do sin, run to Him. Remember the story of the Prodigal Son in Luke’s Gospel. The Lord want’s us to run Home to Him when we get ourselves in trouble. This is good.

It may seem pointless at first, but like when you’re trying to lose 30 pounds from around your waist, you will not see results right away. But when you start building habits upon habits, before you know it, it will be like night and day.

Trust me, I used to feel the same way you did.

 

[David_Vestal]

So if I understand right, some guy showed you things in the Bible that makes you think things the Catholic Church teaches are wrong? You think you’re damned because of the sins you commit, but by reading the Bible and believing in God you get saved…no matter what you do?

First, let me suggest you make a list of those things he’s showed you, and check out what the Church really says. Go to the main section of this website and put each thing in the search bar. You’ll probably find most of them there. Are we talking about the standard anti-Catholic baloney like “call no man Father”, worshipping Mary, etc? Read up, and you’ll see that we don’t believe half the things “they” think we do.

Second, if something in your living situation is causing you to sin (I may have misunderstood what you were trying to say), then change your living situation. There is no sin that God won’t forgive if you ask Him. Go to confession, sincerely confess your sins, and make a firm resolve to sin no more. You will sin again…you’re human. But God isn’t human, He’s God, and will continue to forgive you if you’re really sorry for your sins. The priest will help you too, making suggestions about avoiding the sins that give you trouble.

Don’t walk away from the truth of the Catholic Church until you know what the truth is. There’s a lot of anit-Catholic sentiment out there, just waiting to tell you how we’re wrong. Right now, you have to opportunity to experience the fullness of the faith. Don’t throw that away because some guy points out a few things in the Bible and says we’re wrong.

Well my living situation you are correct, I am 23 now and have extreme hormones, I have 2 children and I live with my fiancee and her mother-in law, there is no other living situation that I can do, I checked into getting married in the church but I frankly cant afford it financially for quite some time. When I was trying my best I would live as brother and sister but my flesh keeps drawing me back into the sin that is there, like I said I have studied Catholicism for a while and I know all the answers to the common anti-Catholic rhetoric which this guy adressed to me and I easily refuted but I just feel that I love the Catholics’ call to holiness but I feel that I cant live or stay fast to WHAT we are supposed to do AS Catholics to BE Catholic I just cant do it

 

[daeve]

Well my living situation you are correct, I am 23 now and have extreme hormones, I have 2 children and I live with my fiancee and her mother-in law, there is no other living situation that I can do, I checked into getting married in the church but I frankly cant afford it financially for quite some time. When I was trying my best I would live as brother and sister but my flesh keeps drawing me back into the sin that is there, like I said I have studied Catholicism for a while and I know all the answers to the common anti-Catholic rhetoric which this guy adressed to me and I easily refuted but I just feel that I love the Catholics’ call to holiness but I feel that I cant live or stay fast to WHAT we are supposed to do AS Catholics to BE Catholic I just cant do it

Your fiancee and her mother-in-law? Does that mean your fiancee is married to someone already? Honey, you’re exposing yourself to constant mortal sin living with a woman you’re not married to…for the sake of your immortal soul, get out of there.

What makes getting married to expensive? Is it because she’s already married? By mother-in-law, did you mean her mother?

What about her? Is she Catholic? This is wrong for her too. Until you get married, you cannot have sex with her, and as long as you’re living there with her, you will do that. How about your folks? Can you live there? Can you go back to your brother’s house?

Here’s where I come from: I’m divorced, 16 years now. Yep, it gets lonely and even at my advanced age I do get urges. But I weighed lonely/urges against immortal soul, and my soul won that battle. You don’t know what’s going to happen tomorrow. You could get hit by a truck…eternity is a long time.

Also consider that you’re demonstrating to your children that this is an acceptable way to live, and you know it’s not. But if mommy and daddy can do it, so can I.

You’ve got some hard choices to make, but there’s a lot riding on making the right one. I’m going to add you to my daily Chaplet of Divine Mercy. This is a great chaplet, and really helps me in my daily life. Try saying this and/or the rosary on a regular basis. Pray is your best friend.

 

[J_C]

Well my living situation you are correct, I am 23 now and have extreme hormones, I have 2 children and I live with my fiancee and her mother-in law, there is no other living situation that I can do, I checked into getting married in the church but I frankly cant afford it financially for quite some time. When I was trying my best I would live as brother and sister but my flesh keeps drawing me back into the sin that is there, like I said I have studied Catholicism for a while and I know all the answers to the common anti-Catholic rhetoric which this guy adressed to me and I easily refuted but I just feel that I love the Catholics’ call to holiness but I feel that I cant live or stay fast to WHAT we are supposed to do AS Catholics to BE Catholic I just cant do it

I relate to your situation very closely because I am in a similar one. Believe me, the hormones don’t let up with age. I am almost 60, and they’re as strong as ever! So don’t think that your youthfulness is causing your extreme hormone condition. I’m not sure why money would be an impediment to your marrying your fiance. If all you need to do is get married, this can be done probably for under $100 in most towns by a JP. Once you’ve resolved the issues of becoming Catholic or not, the marriage can be sacramentalized at that time, and its validity would be assumed by the Church.

As far as the “Catholics’ call to holiness” it seems to me that you feel that protestants have a lesser call to holiness. Not true. Either way, we all sin, Catholics and protestants alike. Usually it is one particular sin that plagues us, and for which we repeatedly go back to confession. I have found that this thing is a process, rather than a one-time confession. It will constantly come back! But you have to work at overcoming it. Confession, repentence, grace, help you to develoop new habits. It will get easier over time, but temptation will never go away, and this will be true whether you are Catholic or Protestant. But you can lessen the proximity to sin by marrying the lady as soon as possible… God bless you in your journey.

 

[ralphinal]

You would be in a state of sin no matter your faith. Christians are NEVER allowed to have sex outside the bonds of matrimony. It is tough. It is the rule. I am divorced, too. I know how it is. I am older, but we all still battle with something. Don’t give up. Do not ever give up. I’ll pray for you and your family. You can get through this. One day, you’ll look back and know that you are a better man for the hardships that you endure.

 

[daeve]

You would be in a state of sin no matter your faith. Christians are NEVER allowed to have sex outside the bonds of matrimony. It is tough. It is the rule. I am divorced, too. I know how it is. I am older, but we all still battle with something. Don’t give up. Do not ever give up. I’ll pray for you and your family. You can get through this. One day, you’ll look back and know that you are a better man for the hardships that you endure.

Amen.

 

[Righteousone]

All,

I was raised every protestant denomination, when I was a young teenager I used to go down and hang out at the local Catholic bookstore, shortly after I made my confirmation into the Church. Now because of my living situation and stuff, I met a guy at work who was showing me some things in the Bible and he really made me see alot of things, I am so confused: Half of me wants to believe all the Catholic rules the other half wants to believe just in reading the bible and trying to be a good person. I feel that as a Catholic I would be damned to hell because I commit so many mortal sins that trying to live a Catholic life is a un-obtainable goal for me, as a human being I feel that I fall short of the catholic goal and can never obtain. However I feel if I just read the Bible and believe in God if that gets me salvation then I can do that!

That’s just too easy…

 

[fbl9]

hi Davis Vestal; i can not but repeat prayer prayer. which ones? the stations of the cross,why? they show Jesus’s ultimate love for you. you feel you are suffering unite in Jesus’s sufferings through these prayers. Christ never said the road would be smooth sailing. read the proverbs and psalms these helped me a lot too.never give up trying to follow the church’s teachings.many will tell you it is not easy and they are right. but only through focusing on our Lord will help move one on in this journey.i will pray for you also.

 

[Claire_from_DE]

What church were you confirmed in? Was it the Catholic church? If not, and if you or your girlfriend were not married before, then do what the other poster said and have a simple ceremony by a justice of the peace. If you were both baptized and if neither of you is a Catholic, then that’s all you need to do to be married and it is a sacrament. If one of you is a Catholic, then you are bound to be married in the Catholic church but it doesn’t have to be a big expensive wedding.

 

[puzzleannie]

All,

I . I feel that as a Catholic I would be damned to hell because I commit so many mortal sins that trying to live a Catholic life is a un-obtainable goal for me, as a human being I feel that I fall short of the catholic goal and can never obtain. However I feel if I just read the Bible and believe in God if that gets me salvation then I can do that!

If you truly believe what the Catholic Church teaches you already know you are not doomed to hell for your mortal sins, because Jesus has saved us from sin and death, and it only remains for us to confess our sins to him, through His priest, and ask his forgiveness in the sacrament of Penance and Reconcilation which is his gift to us.

if you think just reading the Bible will take the place of genuine heartfelt contrition and confession of our sins, and honesty before the Lord, you already know the answer. Why would you read about somebody, and yet not want to know him in person, to have closer more intimate contact with him, to receive everything he promises us in the Bible? It makes no sense to read about Him, read his Word, yet not follow what he says.
If you love Me you will keep my commands.
I come that you might have life and have it more abundantly.
Unless you eat my flesh and drink my blood you shall not have life within you.
Unless a man be born again of water and the holy Spirit he shall not have eternal life.

 

[puzzleannie]

, I checked into getting married in the church but I frankly cant afford it financially for quite some time.

why, it costs nothing to exchange your vows before a priest or deacon on any day of the week after Mass.
you are already spending whatever money it takes to maintain you and your family now. it is not going to cost you one thin dime to do the right thing, step up to the plate and be a man
do you really mean to say money is the reason you are not willling to make a lifetime commitment to the mother of your children, and to promise to be a full-time, full-life dad to those children?
foooeey that is not your real reason

 

[Charlie_Zeaiter]

Hi David,

For me, the Catholic Church is all about the priesthood - that special ministry created by Jesus Christ.

A preist, who acts in persona christi (in the person of christ) and shares in Christ’s nuptial relationship with the Church, has two very important functions:

1. 
   *]hear confession and say “I absolve you of your sins”
   *]lead a mass and say “this is my body” for the eucharist
   
   If you don’t believe in the above, well then - you may as well be protestant.
   :twocents:

 

[David_Vestal]

why, it costs nothing to exchange your vows before a priest or deacon on any day of the week after Mass.
you are already spending whatever money it takes to maintain you and your family now. it is not going to cost you one thin dime to do the right thing, step up to the plate and be a man
do you really mean to say money is the reason you are not willling to make a lifetime commitment to the mother of your children, and to promise to be a full-time, full-life dad to those children?
foooeey that is not your real reason

Ok let me answer some of the previous questions first:
A. I was confirmed into the Catholic Church in 2001
B. By my fiancee I mean the woman i gave a engagement ring to and asked to marry me so we are engaged, I guess you thought fiance meant something else?
C. She has never been married before and neither have I
D. She is a non-practicing Catholic
E. We had a meeting before with the priest and I asked him about getting married by a justice of the peace and he said NO that he can not endorse that because it is not in the Church then it is OUTSIDE of the sacrament and would therefore be a mortal sin and not a marriage recognized by the Church or God.
F. The cost to rent the Church for 1 day for wedding $800, if you want a reception afterwards $800 for reception hall, Donation to priest w/e you want (lets say $500) Rental of dress and tuxedo ($XXX) cost of wedding bands ($XXX)

If what you say is really true if we could go up after mass and tell the priest marry us now then I would do it tommorrow if it was possible, but I have never heard of this before and when we walked to the priest this was not giving as an option. PLUS they want us to take a 4 month marriage prep course as well before you can get married.
Part 2.
I moved out here with her to be with her family in NY I lived in CA, which means all my family is in CA not in nY so there is no staying with a brother, the priest says as long as I remain celibate and live like brother and sister then it is ok, I can do that at my peak of spiritual strength, but another thing that has gotten me frustrated is I was a EOMHC in CA I took the class under the Bishop here to transfer my EOMHC to their Diocese, well it took them 4 months to get back to me and get me my card and then the lady told me that the schedule is full I got wait until Feb to get on, (I got my card in Dec.) I love being a EOMHC and I guess it gave me a extra infusion of spiritual grace and without it, I dont know I guess you can see what happens

 

[ralphinal]

David,
Follow up on your request at the new church. Paperwork gets lost, people get busy. Don’t let it slide.

I think that the other poster was talking about seeing if the priest would marry you one day after mass in a small, private ceramony. It is not common, but it is not unheard of. That should save you a lot of the cost (you could wear normal dress clothes and no reason to have a big extravaganza). I know how costly a marrage is, but it is still cheaper than the cost of your soul. Just ask and see. The marriage prep courses are not that difficult. Again, talk to your priest and see what you can work out. You may be surprised. Besides, what can it hurt?

 

[David_Vestal]

Ok I will see what priest says.

 

[crenfro]

Half of me wants to believe all the Catholic rules the other half wants to believe just in reading the bible and trying to be a good person. I feel that as a Catholic I would be damned to hell because I commit so many mortal sins that trying to live a Catholic life is a un-obtainable goal for me, as a human being I feel that I fall short …

Shucks David! You’re depriving yourself of all the many spiritual gifts and graces you could be getting from the sacraments, why would you want to deprive yourself of wonderful gifts that our Lord is just waiting to treat you to?!

I suspect that maybe Someone’s been drawing you towards Him by your interest in the Catholic bookstore, and I also suspect you probably posted in this forum as a call for help or encouragement.

And as for mortal sins, there’s nothing like the sacrament of Confession. I don’t know how it’s happened, but since I’ve been going to Confession more often, several very dangerous habits of sin I thought I’d never get out of are slowly but surely being removed from my repertoire…

How much do you know about the life of St. Augustine? Give his biography a read when you have time. One of his prayers was “save me Lord, but not yet…” the only scary thing is that none of us knows when the “yet” is going to happen…

I would like to share a note of caution with you though, and that is that the Catholic faith, as stated in its doctrine, is sound, however, we Catholics are far from perfect, so be sure to learn enough solid doctrine before drawing any final conclusions…

And for some reason, your post brought to mind a story I keep hearing about St. Teresa of Avila, who one day had a wreck with her horse and cart during some miserable weather, or something like that, and anyway, told God (these are my words) “if this is how You treat Your friends, no wonder You have so few of them…”

I believe God doesn’t make things easy for us because He wants to mold us into the best sort of children we can be, but it certainly is worth it, however, He’s so patient with us all…

Also, God’s mercy is infinite, and there’s nothing He won’t forgive, provided you’re honestly sorry for whatever it is…

I hope you find an answer to your confusion David. Many blessings.