Confusion about confession/reconciliation

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galsem

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Hello
I have not attended church for many years but have felt an internal pull to go back to my faith. I am conscious of many sins. I went to confession 3 weeks ago but was nervous about confessing my most serious sins. Specifically, I left the Church at the age of 18 years because my home life was unbearable and I prayed for it all to change. My prayer was not answered and I subsequently blamed the Church for the deficiencies of my father. This sounds strange but difficult to go into. Later I developed a severe eating disorder and took an overdose. I was subsequently treated but have since suffered further major depressions and continuous low mood. I have no joy or peace and am pretty numb really to most things. Recently I had another major depressive event and ended up in the ER wanting to end my life, feeling desperately sad and alone. I feel I have brought this upon myself with my negativity and destructive patterns of thought. At the age of 14 and just before my illness, I participated in using an ouija board to connect with the Spirit world. To my friends and I it was just a joke but it really worked which scared us. The nuns at my school warned us all that doing this would open the door to evil and I am worried that this may have been the case. I am worried that I should not take the Holy Eucharist until the priest knows this and if I can be forgiven. I feel desperately sad about the wasted years of my life and my attitude which has definitely contributed to my condition. I am having intensive counselling now and more medication but I am restless and uneasy. Should I go again to Confession and soon?
 
I would bring it up the next time I went to confession, I would still receive the Eucharist if you truly made a good confession your sins have been forgiven. As you said, you and your young friends were playing with the Ouija board as a joke and didn’t intend to sin. If you didn’t know it was wrong it wouldn’t have been a serious sin. This is just my opinion and if you are still in doubt just ask your priest.
 
Maybe you could call the parish and make an appointment to go to confession?
You could still go behind a screen of course.
You could write down the sins you remember and take it with you. Many people
do that - I do - it’s helpful I think, but everyone is different.

Here’s what I did.
I came back to the Church and made a confession after 30+ years.
The last time I went to confession before that was when I was 13.

I called the parish closest to me and made an appointment to meet with the
priest and go to confession.
I wrote everything done - everything I could think of. I used a couple of different examinations of conscience I found on the internet.

We sat down in the rectory, face to face. I was fine with that but he offered the screen.
I took the papers with me, and basically read the sins off one by one.
The priest interjected when he needed more info or to help me. I cried and cried.
It took almost an hour, but I felt it was important for me to unload everything I could remember. I felt a tremendous weight lifted from me.

Lastly, just don’t be afraid to “unload” to the priest. They truly have heard it all.

I will say a prayer for you.

Praise be to God Always,
Joe
 
I’m so sorry you have had such struggles. I think the above poster makes a wonderful suggestion to make an appointment with a priest for confession. Also, you could speak to him about your Ouija board experience and perhaps he can give you some spiritual guidance on that as well and help put your mind at ease.

May God bless you and welcome to the forums

Mary.
 
Be assured that the Lord loves you and wants the best for you. Jesus came to be one of us and wants to pour His mercy upon you. You have been given good advice.

I will pray for you.
 
galsem said:
Hello
I have not attended church for many years but have felt an internal pull to go back to my faith. I am conscious of many sins. I went to confession 3 weeks ago but was nervous about confessing my most serious sins. Specifically, I left the Church at the age of 18 years because my home life was unbearable and I prayed for it all to change. My prayer was not answered and I subsequently blamed the Church for the deficiencies of my father. This sounds strange but difficult to go into. Later I developed a severe eating disorder and took an overdose. I was subsequently treated but have since suffered further major depressions and continuous low mood. I have no joy or peace and am pretty numb really to most things. Recently I had another major depressive event and ended up in the ER wanting to end my life, feeling desperately sad and alone. I feel I have brought this upon myself with my negativity and destructive patterns of thought. At the age of 14 and just before my illness, I participated in using an ouija board to connect with the Spirit world. To my friends and I it was just a joke but it really worked which scared us. The nuns at my school warned us all that doing this would open the door to evil and I am worried that this may have been the case. I am worried that I should not take the Holy Eucharist until the priest knows this and if I can be forgiven. I feel desperately sad about the wasted years of my life and my attitude which has definitely contributed to my condition. I am having intensive counselling now and more medication but I am restless and uneasy. Should I go again to Confession and soon?
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Yes, you should go back to confess as soon as you can. Be sure to tell the priest everything you remember about the Ouija board and all mortal sins that you skipped last time. When you receive absolution, go to communion; you really need the Real Presence in your life. It isn’t about the past years of your life; it’s about what you do with the remaining years of your life that is most important.
 
Yes Confession is a great sacrament that you shoudk always go to. Your eternal pull towards confession seems like grace from God, he wants you to come back to the Church, so pray to him to help you do it, especially pray to Mary to intercede for you.

If you went to Confession and purposely left out a serious sin, or a mortal sin, unfortunately you would have committed the sin of sacrilege. Don’t worry though, all you have to do is to confess in your next confession that you committed sacrilege by omitting certain serious sins. Since you are coming back to the Church, the Evil One will try everything in his power to regain you and prevent you to. It is difficult to do, but don’t worry, just ask for God’s grace and you will eventually prevail.

In the case of whether or not you should receive communion, don’t do it if you haven’t confessed omitting certain sins of your last confession( If I understand correctly that you did do that purposely,) If you can’t go to confession before Mass, all you have to do is stay in the pew and make a spiritual communion, and don’t feel pressured to receivee just because everyone else is, it is normal for one to refrain. Spiritual communion prayer can be found here:
ewtn.com/Devotionals/prayers/blsac4.htm

You are in my prayers and most important pray to God for the grace for you to come back to the church and to prevail against the devil’s temptations. The best way to do this is through Mary, especially the Rosary. Try praying the Rosary every day.
 
When in doubt, go to confession. It’s a way we show our gratefulness to God for granting us His forgiving grace. He is merciful and loving.
 
A monsignor once told me that there is Original Sin but there are no original sins, looking at the book of Genesis he’s probably right. Make a thorough examination of conscience and write notes if you want to , if it’s a long confession you might lose track of what you want to confess especially if things get emotional. Possession or oppression is unlikely but possible, our own concupicience is more than enough to do us in without giving the devil much credit, but regardless staying close to the sacraments are the best thing you can do. Praying for you, God is big enough to save anyone and those who need his mercy most are those who are the most deserving of it.

[SIGN] Viva Jesus![/SIGN]
 
Thank you everyone for your advice. I am very grateful. I plan this week to pray daily before the Blessed Sacrament. I find this small chapel annex of the Church calms my turmoil and focuses my prayers. I so desperately need Christs forgiveness. I will not take the Eucharest at Mass this week but will attend confession after much prayer in 6 days time. Thank you so much for your prayers and for being out there to connect with.
 
May our Lord Jesus Christ bless you and be with you on your journey to Him!

Mary, Seat of Wisdom,…pray for us!
 
YOU HAVE NOT BROUGHT THIS ON YOURSELF.

sorry for shouting.

go to confession and get the actual grace you need to proceed degree by degree.

prayers for you.

Peace
 
galsem said:
Hello
I have not attended church for many years but have felt an internal pull to go back to my faith. I am conscious of many sins. ** I went to confession 3 weeks ago but was nervous about confessing my most serious sins.** Specifically, I left the Church at the age of 18 years because my home life was unbearable and I prayed for it all to change. My prayer was not answered and I subsequently blamed the Church for the deficiencies of my father. This sounds strange but difficult to go into. Later I developed a severe eating disorder and took an overdose. I was subsequently treated but have since suffered further major depressions and continuous low mood. I have no joy or peace and am pretty numb really to most things. Recently I had another major depressive event and ended up in the ER wanting to end my life, feeling desperately sad and alone. I feel I have brought this upon myself with my negativity and destructive patterns of thought. At the age of 14 and just before my illness, I participated in using an ouija board to connect with the Spirit world. To my friends and I it was just a joke but it really worked which scared us. The nuns at my school warned us all that doing this would open the door to evil and I am worried that this may have been the case. I am worried that I should not take the Holy Eucharist until the priest knows this and if I can be forgiven. I feel desperately sad about the wasted years of my life and my attitude which has definitely contributed to my condition. I am having intensive counselling now and more medication but I am restless and uneasy. Should I go again to Confession and soon?
Click to expand...
Sorry but its not clear to me if you were nervous about confessing some mortal sins you were aware of but still confessed them or if you deliberately did not confess them.
 
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