G
galsem
Guest
Hello
I have not attended church for many years but have felt an internal pull to go back to my faith. I am conscious of many sins. I went to confession 3 weeks ago but was nervous about confessing my most serious sins. Specifically, I left the Church at the age of 18 years because my home life was unbearable and I prayed for it all to change. My prayer was not answered and I subsequently blamed the Church for the deficiencies of my father. This sounds strange but difficult to go into. Later I developed a severe eating disorder and took an overdose. I was subsequently treated but have since suffered further major depressions and continuous low mood. I have no joy or peace and am pretty numb really to most things. Recently I had another major depressive event and ended up in the ER wanting to end my life, feeling desperately sad and alone. I feel I have brought this upon myself with my negativity and destructive patterns of thought. At the age of 14 and just before my illness, I participated in using an ouija board to connect with the Spirit world. To my friends and I it was just a joke but it really worked which scared us. The nuns at my school warned us all that doing this would open the door to evil and I am worried that this may have been the case. I am worried that I should not take the Holy Eucharist until the priest knows this and if I can be forgiven. I feel desperately sad about the wasted years of my life and my attitude which has definitely contributed to my condition. I am having intensive counselling now and more medication but I am restless and uneasy. Should I go again to Confession and soon?
I have not attended church for many years but have felt an internal pull to go back to my faith. I am conscious of many sins. I went to confession 3 weeks ago but was nervous about confessing my most serious sins. Specifically, I left the Church at the age of 18 years because my home life was unbearable and I prayed for it all to change. My prayer was not answered and I subsequently blamed the Church for the deficiencies of my father. This sounds strange but difficult to go into. Later I developed a severe eating disorder and took an overdose. I was subsequently treated but have since suffered further major depressions and continuous low mood. I have no joy or peace and am pretty numb really to most things. Recently I had another major depressive event and ended up in the ER wanting to end my life, feeling desperately sad and alone. I feel I have brought this upon myself with my negativity and destructive patterns of thought. At the age of 14 and just before my illness, I participated in using an ouija board to connect with the Spirit world. To my friends and I it was just a joke but it really worked which scared us. The nuns at my school warned us all that doing this would open the door to evil and I am worried that this may have been the case. I am worried that I should not take the Holy Eucharist until the priest knows this and if I can be forgiven. I feel desperately sad about the wasted years of my life and my attitude which has definitely contributed to my condition. I am having intensive counselling now and more medication but I am restless and uneasy. Should I go again to Confession and soon?