Congratulate Same Sex Wedding?

[bakerbel]

So my niece recently married her partner in another state where same sex marriage is legal. I love my niece, who by the way is also my godchild. But I am not sure if I want to congratulate her since I am really not a supporter of same sex marriage. I have never met her partner. They have been together several years. She seems happy being in this relationship. I want to support her in her happiness, but in this situation, I don’t know what to say. How can I acknowledge this event in her life, show my support of her happiness without seeming supportive of the whole same sex thing?

 

[Corki]

If you are put in a position where you need to make a comment you can always say something like “I wish you every happiness”.

 

[phil19034]

I would say something like “I wish you well”

 

[MonikaBarbara]

I don’t think you should congratulate the same-sex wedding in any way directly. It is basically congratulating her on committing a mortal sin. Of course, you should be loving towards her and tell her that you wish her well on other occasions or just in general.

 

[Holly3278]

I don’t think you should congratulate the same-sex wedding in any way directly. It is basically congratulating her on committing a mortal sin. Of course, you should be loving towards her and tell her that you wish her well on other occasions or just in general.

I completely agree. Don’t congratulate her on a same-sex “wedding” because that is congratulating her on something which is gravely sinful. Instead, I’d simply wish her well.

 

[808Catholic]

So my niece recently married her partner in another state where same sex marriage is legal. I love my niece, who by the way is also my godchild. But I am not sure if I want to congratulate her since I am really not a supporter of same sex marriage. I have never met her partner. They have been together several years. She seems happy being in this relationship. I want to support her in her happiness, but in this situation, I don’t know what to say. How can I acknowledge this event in her life, show my support of her happiness without seeming supportive of the whole same sex thing?

I join with other commenters; I wouldn’t congratulate her same sex marriage or it might be construed that you endorse the sin. However, she is your God daughter so you have an obligation to continue to guide her in the way of the faith. I’m guessing her parents are supportive or at least neutral to her same sex marriage. If so, I suggest you’re in God’s pilot seat right now. I suggest you continue to love her as you have and try to find out why she chose to move away from God in this way. Go slowly with great love and understanding. She may in time come to realize the wrong turn she’s made and will need someone as devout as you to lead her back to the Church. God Bless you for your God mother vocation and prayers for your success.

 

[JamalChristophr]

It’s your duty as a God parent, unless I’m mistaken, to help get your God Child to heaven. Keep that always before your eyes. Pray daily and offer sacrifices for her. Continue to love her, but do not condone her behavior.

 

[aTraditionalist]

JamalChristophr:

It’s your duty as a God parent, unless I’m mistaken, to help get your God Child to heaven. Keep that always before your eyes. Pray daily and offer sacrifices for her. Continue to love her, but do not condone her behavior.

Well said.

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[Anglewannabe]

. How can I acknowledge this event in her life,

I understand you recently had a civil marriage to your same sex partner

. show my support of her happiness ,

I love you and want nothing but the best for you

. without seeming supportive of the whole same sex thing?

Which is why as your God mother, I will always be here for you when you wish to come back to the faith.

Probably not what she wants to hear, but it is my answer to your question

 

[theCrow]

Wow, just wow. What judgemental and mean advice so far. She’s YOUR NIECE and you Love her! You should be happy that she is happy. By all means Congratulate her!!!

It’s her life and if she is truly happy, you should be happy for her.

 

[angelic06]

Wow, just wow. What judgemental and mean advice so far. She’s YOUR NIECE and you Love her! You should be happy that she is happy. By all means Congratulate her!!!

It’s her life and if she is truly happy, you should be happy for her.

Not judgmental at all. It is the OP’s task as a godparent to help her/his niece attain to eternal bliss and grow in her faith, not encourage her in steering away from it and towards earthly standards of “love” and “happiness” but towards Godly ones. I agree with the other posters that the niece should not be congratulated.

 

[theCrow]

Not judgmental at all. It is the OP’s task as a godparent to help her/his niece attain to eternal bliss and grow in her faith, not encourage her in steering away from it and towards earthly standards of “love” and “happiness” but towards Godly ones. I agree with the other posters that the niece should not be congratulated.

Um, it’s her (the Niece’s) life and she obviously doesn’t think her marriage is an abomination and horrible sin, in fact it is her BLISS. If any of my true friends or beloved family members got married to anyone man/woman and were happy, I would congratulate each and every one of them.

 

[Personanongrata]

Why not take a moment and meet the person who makes your niece happy?

If it were me, and I wanted to stay in my godchild’s life, I would take her feelings into consideration.

To stand on the side lines and judge is just tacky.

 

[Joybearer]

Um, it’s her (the Niece’s) life and she obviously doesn’t think her marriage is an abomination and horrible sin, in fact it is her BLISS. If any of my true friends or beloved family members got married to anyone man/woman and were happy, I would congratulate each and every one of them.

Yeah, if someone doesn’t think that murder(bad analogy I know) is anything horrible and abhorrent then they should go ahead and commit that. And everyone else should wish them happiness on this new found interest.

Instead of trying to be new-age, contrarian and “tolerant” maybe if you look really really hard(hint: The URL and the page heading), you can see that you’re on a Catholic forum and it’s against the teachings of the Catholic Church to participate in the sins of others. If you want a rationale behind these teachings, you could probably go to the right sub-forum and ask a sincere non-trollish question instead of trolling on someone else’s thread.

In your impeccable logic, I would congratulate all murderers, in fact, all social deviants as well on their lifestyle and actions if I have the same moral standing as them. For every child murdered, or person raped, I would praise them for the precision in technique, the choice of weapon and of course, celebrate the happiness it brought them to participate in such an act with a couple of beers and some wings.

Now, that wouldn’t be so great anymore would it?

 

[Corki]

Wow, just wow. What judgemental and mean advice so far. She’s YOUR NIECE and you Love her! You should be happy that she is happy. By all means Congratulate her!!!

It’s her life and if she is truly happy, you should be happy for her.

And this is a perfect example of what Christians are facing. It’s not enough to tolerate public homosexual activity and same sex “marriage”. If we are not joyfully celebrating it, we are called “judgemental” (sic) and “mean”. We are even told what are emotions should be.

 

[theCrow]

Yeah, if someone doesn’t think that murder(bad analogy I know) is anything horrible and abhorrent then they should go ahead and commit that. And everyone else should wish them happiness on this new found interest.

Instead of trying to be new-age, contrarian and “tolerant” maybe if you look really really hard(hint: The URL and the page heading), you can see that you’re on a Catholic forum and it’s against the teachings of the Catholic Church to participate in the sins of others. If you want a rationale behind these teachings, you could probably go to the right sub-forum and ask a sincere non-trollish question instead of trolling on someone else’s thread.

In your impeccable logic, I would congratulate all murderers, in fact, all social deviants as well on their lifestyle and actions if I have the same moral standing as them. For every child murdered, or person raped, I would praise them for the precision in technique, the choice of weapon and of course, celebrate the happiness it brought them to participate in such an act with a couple of beers and some wings.

Now, that wouldn’t be so great anymore would it?

Yes it is an absolutely illogical and horrible analogy and to even insinuate murder and SSM are related in any way.

Why don’t you do what an above poster said and actually MEET your niece’s partner first. It’s not up to you whom she marries. Let he is without sin cast the first stone.

 

[Contra_Mundum_1]

Yes it is an absolutely illogical and horrible analogy and to even insinuate murder and SSM are related in any way.

Your logic is the problem. You can’t be a moral relativist and then say that something is wrong, like murder for example. Why would it be? Who decides? That poster just made a logical next step and asked if you would be happy for a person who finds pleasure in such gruesome activities, since happiness and sense of fulfilment is all that matters for you guys when deciding if something is right or moral.

 

[PaulGH]

Your logic is the problem. You can’t be a moral relativist and then say that something is wrong, like murder for example. Why would it be? Who decides? That poster just made a logical next step and asked if you would be happy for a person who finds pleasure in such gruesome activities, since happiness and sense of fulfilment is all that matters for you guys when deciding if something is right or moral.

Indeed. I don’t think the point of giving murder as an example is to say that murder is morally equivalent to homosexuality. Rather, the point is that you don’t find homosexual acts to be morally wrong, but what about something that you DO find to be morally wrong? And murder is about the most extreme example that could be given of something that almost everyone thinks is morally wrong. So, taking murder as an example (or any other activity that you consider morally wrong), would you still say that congratulating someone on his or her happiness trumps standing up for what is morally right in THAT case? If your answer is no, then you have at least some clue as to why a Catholic, who thinks that homosexual acts are morally wrong, would be hesitant to congratulate someone on a same-sex so-called marriage.

 

[theCrow]

Your logic is the problem. You can’t be a moral relativist and then say that something is wrong, like murder for example. Why would it be? Who decides? That poster just made a logical next step and asked if you would be happy for a person who finds pleasure in such gruesome activities, since happiness and sense of fulfilment is all that matters for you guys when deciding if something is right or moral.

Actually your logic is the problem. Quick question:

If her niece’s partner was male, living together, and she was expecting a child out of wedlock, would you
congratulate her then, even though she’s living in a state of mortal sin?

 

[masondoggy]

Actually your logic is the problem. Quick question:

If her niece’s partner was male, living together, and she was expecting a child out of wedlock, would you
congratulate her then, even though she’s living in a state of mortal sin?

Not even close to being the same thing. Pregnancy is NOT a sin. The sin is having premarital sex. A pregnancy should ALWAYS be congratulated despite the circumstances.