As I was previously saying…
I just watched the movie Constantine yesterday, and wasn’t particularly impressed. It was O.K. for action, but there were long periods of boring talk, talk, talk, which did not add to the drama or suspense.
Keneau Reeves was good as a somewhat INS customs agent deporting illegal demons back to hell. His method of dispatch, exocisms, resembled the BLADE movies, i.e. they (the demons) turned to ashes.
This movie was very religiously ecumenical, as hell resembled Dante’s inferno, with the lower level of hell containing the writhing mass of the miserable damned. The demons just looked like aliens to me, and the Catholicism was minimum, basically kept to the exorcism. There was even a Voodoo witch doctor maintaining the balance via a demonic night club (again, just like BLADE).
Some part were extremely hoaky, like the gold Crucifix machine gun/flame thrower (i.e. dragon’s breath) just like in the movie VAN HELSING. Why would anybody use fire against a demon from hell? That’s like cussing at a sailor?
What I found offensive was the Arch-Angel Gabriel was a lesbian looking woman, who turned traitor and aided the son of satan entering into the human plane. And as punishment, Gabriel was turned into a human being, with his/her wings clipped, to experience all the pain that humans endure, and Constantine obliged by punching the Benedict Arnold/Gabriel in the mouth.
While suicide was demonstrated to be a mortal sin and a one way ticket to hell, it took a bunch of near death experiences to enter hell to scope out the situation (and a vial of holy water from the river Jordan to return before a swarm of soldier demons ripped you apart for eternity
).
The movie CONSTANTINE could have been so much better, but instead we get a mediocre action flick that borrows heavily from past horror/sci fi movies. Even though John Constantine used a pair of brass knuckles with crucifixes on the knuckles to punch out a demon (which was pretty cool), he did not impress as someone who was sufficiently world weary to act as cynical as he was portrayed.
John Constantine’s repartee with Lucifer/Satan was interesting, and it seems that Lucifer had some daddy issues with his son, who was trying to invade and devastate the Earth without his dad’s permission. Lucifer actually saved the day by sending his son back to hell. (I guess devils don’t get along?).
It was nice to see angels in full wingspread, but if I were the director, there would have been a dozen angels, including the Archangels Micheal, Gabriel, and Rapheal, using fiery swords to beat the hec out of the demons back into the basement from which they came. Hopefully Mel Gibson will provide that scene?