A
ATeNumquam
Guest
Well, let speak from a bit of experience here!I agree with you that living in the secular world can put a lot of stress and competing pressures on the lay contemplative. But I don’t think I’d agree that contemplation is necessarily more “successful” in the monestary.
Just a brief reading of the Saints (Teresa of Avila, Therese of Liseaux) shows that all sorts of petty rivalries, jealousies, troubles dealing with obedience etc. exist among even those we think are most holy. So those in the cloister are not without their own contemplative stresses. And perhaps these kind of drags on the contemplative spirit weigh even more heavily on those in the monestary due to the nature of their consecrated life than some of the secular influences have on the lay contemplative. Just speculating here.
. . .
OK, I’m speaking as a lay person NOW, and as one who may never have had a vocation to the contemplative life (I’ll never know till I die, I guess!). But I spent 11 years (1975-1987) as an enclosed Carmelite nun.
The life is in so many ways conducive, in its exterior arrangement, to contemplation. But living in a community made up of so many different personalities, without any distractions - little things can get out of proportion easily, and pettiness is a real hazard. I can’t and won’t speak for anyone else, but for ME, here.
St Teresa very wisely provided for two one-hour periods of “recreation”, when we came together to work and talk, and this helped greatly to keep a sense of perspective on whatever was troubling you (e.g., you could be thinking that Sister So-and-So disliked you, and find out you were completely wrong)
I found in that community at that time (nowadays there is an appreciation of basic human psychology) that there was a tendency to over-spiritualise everything - not that there was a lack of common sense, but any trials and sufferings seemed to be Dark Night territory. I was certain it wasn’t so, but lacked
the sort of help I needed, and even how to ask, or what to ask for. Maybe I lacked sufficient psychological balance, self knowledge, or, above all, spiritual depth, but I found myself becoming very self-focussed and small minded and stifled. I was hit by what I now know was the mid-life crisis in my late 30s (had never heard of it - too bad, I might still be there!), and just had to get leave of absence to get a fresh perspective on things. I never went back.
I, personally, know I am more “whole”, much healthier emotionally and psychologically, and I’d be far better equipped to handle life in an enclosed order NOW. I’m not saying others there couldn’t handle it well - just talking about me. (MANY more came than stayed, however, and that was even after a long wait and discernment, before entering)
I’ve lost a lot in terms of spiritual help and a conducive atmosphere. I may never get far, now, in the contemplative life. I’m not sure how often lay people manage to become contemplatives. I don’t know how much my lack of progress is my lack of application, or my full-time job lifestyle. (I’m single and live alone and that is largely so I CAN have a life of prayer of sorts). No, let me blame my lack of application here, because reading other posts I see you guys have managed it even in the married state!!
It’s not as if I’m not well-read in the stages and states of prayer. I know Saint Teresa, St John of the Cross and all the classics of the prayer life (Brother Lawrence, Cloud of Unknowing, a basic knowledge of Centering Prayer, etc etc) I DO know I have a better, sounder foundation to build on than I took into Carmel.
But the cloistered life is only a place for the strong and truly healthy, IMHO.