Hello,
I am 43, and a convert from Wicca/paganism to the Catholic faith. Perhaps we would have some thoughts to share…here is some of my story…
I suppose this will be a rambling. I am a convert to the Catholic faith since 2008. There were many previous experiences I had before that year that lead me to my decision to convert. This sort of thing is personal for everyone. I was raised mainly Methodist, with smatterings of what I would call a non-denominational flavor. I turned away from this into teachings of the New age, wicca, occult, buddhism and Hinduism. I always loved animals, nature, fantasy and magic. Who would not want to have mystical connections to things, or even special powers? I was well-embroiled in Goddess Spirituality, Wicca, Hindu-buddhist thought for a good 20 years. All throughout it, the Catholic faith was calling me . I am having a tough battle, releasing the old baggage From my days in those eclectic faiths.
On my long journey to the Catholic faith, I found all of these previous faiths did have meaning and beauty to them along the way. They are part of my experience, and there are things within them that still ring true and share the same virtues as my catholic faith, however they did not reach the fullness of God for me. I also found my personal peace of mind, and relationship with God was not growing. All that seemed to grow was my ego, and self interest. My anxiety would build and build, as I realized years were passing, and for all the fanciful options I had ploughed through, none had given me consolation.
One of my biggest struggles in coming to the Catholic faith , was I could not deny I had a strong intuition, and often had dreams that would be predictive in nature. This seemed an unusual ability to most I knew, and I was naturally lead into the world of the occult, where options for so called psychic powers were everywhere. Wicca and the occult are full of mediums, oracles, tarot cards, astrologers, clairvoyants, and everything predictive one might want to find. I felt I was one of these, and that I fit in. It wasn’t a solid fit, actually….For all along the way, Mary and God called.
It was true though, Wicca and the occult were a natural segueway for this intuitive trait. I’ve come to understand that this trait of intuition will always be there, is in no way evil, just simply part of God’s plan for me. Irealize I misused it when I was involved in these faiths, and what was pure I made muddy with my dabbling. The end result was very hard on my soul, as one would imagine. I was emptied out, almost faithless….and quite superstitious of the spirits and the entities that I had been dealing with in these faiths. Now in my faith, I am stronger.
I am not setting up shop to do any readings, nor calling upon spirits for an answer. I do think there are many others like me out there…who are sensitive, and become drawn into the world of the occult, because they feel it is where they belong.
The scary thing about this, is that in the world of the occult, wicca, etc, there is barely , if any discernment of spirits. It rather wildly suggests for you to call on any number of beings, from angels, to fairies, to so called guides, the list is endless. The books and materials, offer numerous rituals of protection and magic circles, the calling of angels to defend you against the very spirits you call. Once you think about it, it becomes nonsensical, how do you know you have any boundary between yourself and an invisible being? How does a mere circle of salt, or lighting of a candle achieve any real barrier. If this is all to attain a state of mind conducive to controlling these outside factors, do you really think, you are in control of these angels, ghosts, fairies, guides, etc?
I just did not find it to be so in the end!
Some will dabble and find themselves concluding it was all a lie, and they will leave these religions.They will say it is child’s play. Some like me, who come into it, with some heightened sensitivity , will get a response! I walked the path of seances, magic, and spirit communication, and I muddied my spirit up in the process…
It took me time to realize why the bible is so adamant about the conjuring of spirits, because it truly is playing with fire. There is a real and invisible world out there, with both good and bad creatures existing in it.
Of course, I am hoping God wlil help me….because I am trying so hard to get free of this old life….
I find it is very true where Christ says:
“When an unclean spirit goes out of a man, he goes through dry places, seeking rest, and finds none. Then he says, ‘I will return to my house from which I came.’ And when he comes, he finds it empty, swept, and put in order.
Then he goes and takes with him seven other spirits more wicked than himself, and they enter and dwell there; and the last state of that man is worse than the first. So shall it also be with this wicked generation.” (Matthew 12: 43-45)
I pray God will lead me forward, and pray all the Saints will put in a special word for me to lead me out of a much maligned past. I am still haunted by so many things….and I only seek to deepen my Catholic faith, my relationship with God, and my love of his creations. It is so true this excerpt from scripture, that it chills me to the bone.
I pray to get my house in order, for good, and never again see the return of these wicked spirits.
Amen.
~MaryThereseRose