Convince me not to get a vasectomy

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Brofessor

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I really, really, really don’t want kids. I don’t despise them, but I don’t like them nearly enough to want to be around them all the time.

But, I also want to get married someday.

If you’ve seen my posts before, maybe you know that I tend to waffle back and forth between Anglicanism and Catholicism. One of the strongest arguments for Anglicanism is that it could respect my absolute desire not to have children, instead of forcing my marriage to be “open” to kids. I would be a terrible father. It is in my non-existent children’s best interests to take whatever steps I can to make absolutely sure that they will never be born.

So, anyone want to try to convince me not to do what in this case seems like the obvious choice?
 
That’s funny, I did know divine truth is subject to your desires. Neither do i recall God attaching an exception clause with his command “be fruitful and multiply”.

God is not who you want him to be, God is who he is.

If you are not comfortable with having kids then perhaps God is not calling to marry, perhaps he has a different plan for you. I highly recommend you speak to a learned priest who could give you deeper advice before you jump ship.

Your brother in Christ,
 
your strongest argument for Anglicanism is that it is more convenient for you to follow because it doesn’t condemn the choice you are currently thinking about making… :banghead:

I was actually going to get a vasectomy for myself because I have a Kid and was thinking about adopting and didn’t want to “worry” about overwhelming myself, but after I found out the church teaching I understand it and I am free to choose whatever I wan’t but as the bible states " he who rejects you rejects me and him who sent me " I think I’ll take my chances with NFP instead 😃 -

Vasectomies aren’t 100 percent , and if you truly think about what you are doing, you are doing it for a selfish reason because you want to take part in the act that creates children without the possibility of having one

I pray that the Lord gives you true strength and true faith and the power to use it!
 
Brofessor said:
I really, really, really don’t want kids. I don’t despise them, but I don’t like them nearly enough to want to be around them all the time.

But, I also want to get married someday.

If you’ve seen my posts before, maybe you know that I tend to waffle back and forth between Anglicanism and Catholicism. One of the strongest arguments for Anglicanism is that it could respect my absolute desire not to have children, instead of forcing my marriage to be “open” to kids. I would be a terrible father. It is in my non-existent children’s best interests to take whatever steps I can to make absolutely sure that they will never be born.

So, anyone want to try to convince me not to do what in this case seems like the obvious choice?
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I am in a similar situation to you, that I don’t want to have kids and would make a terrible father. Although, the way I see it, what is the point of marriage if you don’t want to have children?, If you are not ready to have children, I think you are not ready to be married.

Myself personally, I would never go down the sinful vasectomy path, nor would I trust NFP if I did get married. It’s just not worth the risk. So the only thing I can do now is stay single, lol. Unless in the future I decide I want children.
Augustine3 said:
If you are not comfortable with having kids then perhaps God is not calling to marry, perhaps he has a different plan for you. I highly recommend you speak to a learned priest who could give you deeper advice before you jump ship.
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x2.
 
Permanently mutilating your body on the supposition that the way you feel about yourself and children is how you will feel about things in 10 years is rather short-sighted, don’t you think?

I sure know that at 57 years old, I was SURE of stuff 10-20 years ago that seems laughable now. People and circumstances change.

Based on how you feel, you may be more suited to Protestantism, though. I have had friends who “chose” their church based on the size and running of their youth programs. Even as a convert myself, that seems ludicrous, but to most Protestants, it makes perfect sense. For me, once I took that blind leap of faith from Non-practicing Jewish Agnostic, to joining the Church, I no longer look for attending the prettiest church, the one that eases my conscience and supports my personal decisions in life, has the best soul-satisfying preaching, or the best musical entertainment. That was my “Catholic” moment - all of that was thrown out in favor of the Eucharist, obedience, prayer and a lifetime of studying the faith.

At one time, most ethical doctors would refuse to perform a vasectomy on a young, single male for the reason I first stated. Sadly, I assume there are some who would be willing to put you under the knife for money and let the future cards fall where they will.
 
Brofessor said:
I really, really, really don’t want kids. I don’t despise them, but I don’t like them nearly enough to want to be around them all the time.

But, I also want to get married someday.

If you’ve seen my posts before, maybe you know that I tend to waffle back and forth between Anglicanism and Catholicism. One of the strongest arguments for Anglicanism is that it could respect my absolute desire not to have children, instead of forcing my marriage to be “open” to kids. I would be a terrible father. It is in my non-existent children’s best interests to take whatever steps I can to make absolutely sure that they will never be born.

So, anyone want to try to convince me not to do what in this case seems like the obvious choice?
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  1. There’s a big difference between what you think of other people’s children and how you will feel about your own children. I still feel exactly the way you do about other people’s children. But I have four children of my own that I love very much. There’s something very powerful about DNA.
  2. You need to focus some attention on this “waffling”. If you find Anglicanism to be more permissive, you might ask yourself why that’s the case. If I’m not mistaken, the Church of England was founded by a man who couldn’t keep his pants on around women, was married 8 times in direct defiance of the Pope and executed two of those wives. Catholicism may be more strict, but it was founded by the Son of God. It’s the correct answer my friend. God doesn’t make mistakes when He starts up a Church.
 
mgoforth said:
If I’m not mistaken, the Church of England was founded by a man who couldn’t keep his pants on around women, was married 8 times in direct defiance of the Pope and executed two of those wives.
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Wow, wow, wow, he only had six wives, lets not exaggerate. 😉
 
What happens when your future wife hears her biological clock ticking and decides she really wants a baby? It tends to happen at one point or another in a woman’s life. One of my sisters swore she never wanted children. When she was in her 30’s that apparently changed and now she has three. It will be very difficult for you to find and keep a wife if you purposely make children impossible. Or are you planning not be upfront and honest about the vasectomy? That would really create problems down the road.
 
You say you want to get married, but you are not open to having children. There are a few bad things going on here. First that you intend to submit to sterilization, knowing it is immoral. Second that you intend to enter an invalid marriage from the start. Third, you do not understand God’s plan for married couples cannot be separated from their desire to raise children.

Others have suggested that you pray. This is a good start to any endeavor, especially one that is life-changing. You should also find a spiritual director who can help guide you and discern your future vocation. You need some help with this, because perhaps you are not called to marriage but possibly the consecrated life. In the meantime, do some serious study about the marriage vocation and what it means to Christians. A good place to start is Blessed John Paul the Great’s Theology of the Body. Christopher West’s books, especially Good News About Sex and Marriage, are good ways to learn about TOB. You will be in my prayers.
 
Brofessor said:
I really, really, really don’t want kids. I don’t despise them, but I don’t like them nearly enough to want to be around them all the time.

But, I also want to get married someday.

If you’ve seen my posts before, maybe you know that I tend to waffle back and forth between Anglicanism and Catholicism. One of the strongest arguments for Anglicanism is that it could respect my absolute desire not to have children, instead of forcing my marriage to be “open” to kids. I would be a terrible father. It is in my non-existent children’s best interests to take whatever steps I can to make absolutely sure that they will never be born.

So, anyone want to try to convince me not to do what in this case seems like the obvious choice?
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The Ten Commandments are not the Ten Suggestions !

God will not judge us on how well we are " accepted " by our peers !

He who loves Me will obey by Commandments !

If God had not meant married people to have children he would not have made them so they could. 👍
 
All I can really say is, go ahead and waste what God has give you I m sure he enjoys when people say hey God thanks for everything but I don’t want this because it doesn’t suit me. If you love God you will not damage the temple which he lives in that being your body. Saint Paul said you are not your own because you where bought with a price that being the most precious blood of our lord Jesus Christ. Plus who wants to marry someone that can’t function in bed. That won’t be much fun for your wife 😃
 
Brofessor said:
I would be a terrible father. It is in my non-existent children’s best interests to take whatever steps I can to make absolutely sure that they will never be born.
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Can I ask how old you are?

You really have no idea what type of father you’ll be until you’re kids are about 3 to 4 years old. 😉 But the fact that you’re concerned about the well-being of non-existent children actually makes a strong case that you’d be a good father… :eek:
 
Brofessor said:
So, anyone want to try to convince me not to do what in this case seems like the obvious choice?
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Is the “obvious choice” for you not to get married at all? 😛

In all seriousness, even if you want to completely disregard the Catholic teaching (a teaching you are at least considering accepting) – and even if you want to assume that you know better on this matter – why take such a drastic, permanent step when you’re not even married yet?

At the very least, don’t you owe it to your future wife to include her in the decision making process? This kind of has some serious implications for her as well.

And, of course, when the time comes, you’ll need to also have a serious conversation with your priest. Not being open to children is an impediment to a valid marriage, no matter where you end up getting married.
 
I have been involved in the care of elderly and sick relatives enough to realize that it is absolutely essential to have some children so someone will be around to supervise caring for you in your old age. Who will take you to your doctor appointments? Who will go to the store for you when you are too old to drive? Who will handle your finances when you can’t?

When you are young, you have parents, brothers and sisters. Then both of your parents die. Then you start losing siblings. Then who is left? Maybe just you. How much fun is that?
 
Brofessor said:
I really, really, really don’t want kids. I don’t despise them, but I don’t like them nearly enough to want to be around them all the time.

But, I also want to get married someday.

If you’ve seen my posts before, maybe you know that I tend to waffle back and forth between Anglicanism and Catholicism. One of the strongest arguments for Anglicanism is that it could respect my absolute desire not to have children, instead of forcing my marriage to be “open” to kids. I would be a terrible father. It is in my non-existent children’s best interests to take whatever steps I can to make absolutely sure that they will never be born.

So, anyone want to try to convince me not to do what in this case seems like the obvious choice?
Click to expand...
Sex is kind of icky, so you would not be missing much by becoming sex-free.

Kids are great to have around, and that’s the appropriate time for sex…
 
I researched for a good article to show you some of the negative side effects of vasectomies, I found someone’s old blog.
secretmomthoughts.blogspot.com/2009/06/ticked-off-tuesday-vasectomy-side.html
I feel like I need to do a PSA about possible side effects of vasectomies because I didn’t know there were any. Dave has had some pretty serious health issues over the last 3 months that required multiple visits to 4 doctors, a hospitalization, and plenty of antibiotics. It turns out that Dave has had several different ailments. He is being treated and we are optimistic that this course of treatment will actually cure his condition. …Dave has been having genital pain for over 3 months. During this time he saw multiple doctors, who made him feel like he was crazy and making up the pain because they could not define its cause. During this time, no one checked his prostate. When he saw the 5th doctor last week, he was shocked that no one had checked it before. Doctors seem to need to be more aware of this condition too, considering what Dave went through to get diagnosed.
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Most of the articles I read said side effects were “rare.” But this blogger pointed out that it took numerous visits to doctors that treated her husband like he was crazy for c/o genital pain. I have heard other stories of men who have chronic pain after their vasectomies. When you pay someone to break a part of your body that was not broken, sometimes the results turn out bad. If it ain’t broke, don’t break it!
 
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