I was born and raised Catholic, but my parents were hardly devout. For most of my life, I wouldn’t have even considered myself a Christian. However, about 2 years ago, I became a Christian and began really closely examining the various denominations and beliefs within Christianity, as many of my forum posts on this site have shown. I started out rather skeptical when it came to Catholicism, but one by one, as I began really studying the Church fathers, my theological views began to come in line with traditional Catholicism. However, as some of you may know, there are certain issues that I simply CANNOT accept regarding Catholicism.
I have studied the scriptures and tradition very closely, read all of the great classic and modern Catholic apologists, and despite all of this, on the issues of supreme papal authority, papal infallibility, and transubstantiation (I do accept some form of the Real Presence, but not the Catholic view), I cannot submit. I have prayed to St. Peter, I have spent countless hours in private prayer, I have spoken to numerous and devout Catholics, as well as clergymen, and I cannot accept those three things as the Catholic Church teaches them. I am now at the point where I can’t go to Church and participate as a normal member of the Church without essentially feeling dishonest. I don’t partake of the Eucharist, and I want desperately to be apart of a Christian community.
So why not just join the United Methodists, conservative Anglicans, evangelicals, etc.? For several reasons. First, I believe that schism is not what Jesus intended in Christianity generally and should be avoided at all costs. Second, I believe that in the world we live in today, a united, international, and powerful Christian voice is essential in the world, and only the Catholic Church has the ability to stand against some of the threats presented by radical Islam (not moderate) and extreme secularists like those who want to eliminate Christmas and all remnants of our Christian heritage. Third, I believe that, along with the Eastern Orthodox Church, the Catholic Church is unwilling to compromise its central beliefs no matter what. Even the very conservative Southern Baptist Convention supported abortion in the 1970s. Fourth, I agree with MUCH of Catholic theology, including devotion to Mary, the creeds, seven sacraments, infant baptism, apostolic succession (although my view tends to merge priests and bishops into one class), praying to the saints, and various other beliefs as well.
So while it is true I have three major doctrinal disagreements with the Church that have only been further confirmed over time and through research, I do love much about the Catholic Church. At this point though, I just feel like moving on to another church. I have carefully considered this over the last year especially and I feel that I have no other choice but to leave. Before I do though, I am going to speak to everyone I know, including priests, and this forum is apart of that process. So what is your position on those staying in the Church despite having irreconcilable differences?
Am I really better off as a Christian staying in the Church as an outsider who is not eligible to engage in any kind of a ministry, to partake of the Eucharist, or to be truly and completely apart of the Church? Aren’t I better off finding a church with apostolic succession and being more involved there? Am I really better off spending a lifetime in the Church as an outsider who is unable to engage in a full Catholic life? Your thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated.
Just as a note, I am NOT interested in engaging in a debate about the problems I have with the Church. I am confident in these positions and I am very well read on them. The problem isn’t the information. I have come to these conclusions based on a ton of evidence. I am not saying I am absolutely certain I am right, but I am saying that my position isn’t going to change…or at least for the sake of the current issue, please act like my position is not going to change on these issues.