Could Catholic priests could benifit from being married?

[Rence]

I do think that Latin Rite Catholic priests should be allowed to marry, and I think bishops should too, but not because of the paedophile scandal. I don’t think marriage has anything to do with the sexual scandal.

I wholeheartedly agree

 

[PbloPicasso]

That is because the media keep [inaccurately] calling it pedophelia.

Please define what’s it’s called. If you want to debunk a perception, you need to provide the information to help others understand your own perception of what it’s called more precisely.

 

[JamestheOlder]

Secondly, my response.

Clerical celibacy, is a [minor] factor to my discernment of the Priesthood. Clerical celibacy makes sure that a Priest has one less roadblock to giving his life wholly to God. This is vital. Clerical celibacy fosters a new man in Christ. This new man is pure. We are all called, Priests especially, to imitate Christ. The way I see it, Christ didn’t marry, so neither should Priests. It is a brilliant jewel of our Church. It must be preserved.

Celibacy offers unto a Priest a unique pastoral flexibility. He HAS a family. His family is his parish, the flock that was assigned to him to shepherd and to guide.

This thread will erupt in flames, I am sure.

~ Pius :knight1:

Your response is appropriate, concise and offers a personal perspective that many have not experienced. Thanks for this.

Let me give an example of the “2AM Call”. A pastor/priest/minister with a seriously or deathly ill child has a 2AM call to attend a sick parishioner in danger of dying. The Roman Catholic priest, with no dependents, is free to respond immediately and provide the sacred oils to someone in danger of death. The other must first assure the proper care of the sick child.

 

[paperbackwinter]

Personally, I think if priests were allowed to marry, the Church would have an even worse situation in hand. Right now, the Church just has to deal with politics ,i.e., who gets to be a bishop or the Pope. Imagine those problems with nepotism, too. If you think I’m wrong, read up on Billy Graham’s family problems and his ministry or any other sizable ministry.

We have to admit it, the Catholic Church is large and has money and is ripe for the same problems.

Other things I think about is how willing is a wife to share her husband? Demands on a priest are very high. Is it fair to her and the children?

I guess I might accept married priests who were older than child bearing age so that family obligations might be minimized, but the Church doesn’t really like to accept older men into the priesthood.

 

[stayinthelight]

Celibacy seems like a good thing, especially for priests.

God bless all the good priests out there who truly love and serve God.

Sincere thanks.

 

[babylonsfalling]

Does anyone think that Catholic priests could benifit from being married? With all the pedophelia controversy on the news I wondered if this would be a reasonable suggestion to help the problem.
Thanks for reading and answering,
Protestant Me

The truth about protestant pedophilia is here,
insurancejournal.com/news/national/2007/06/18/80877.htm

 

[BVM_1221]

Does anyone think that Catholic priests could benifit from being married? With all the pedophelia controversy on the news I wondered if this would be a reasonable suggestion to help the problem.
Thanks for reading and answering,
Protestant Me

I have no idea if it would or would not help the pedophilia issue, but it should be noted that Eastern Catholics, and our Orthodox brothers, have had a Priesthood allowed to marry, with no problems I have heard of. Mind you, the rule in those Churches is that Priests may marry, but only unmarried Priests can become Bishops.

 

[TimothyH]

Please define what’s it’s called. If you want to debunk a perception, you need to provide the information to help others understand your own perception of what it’s called more precisely.

The problem to the extent that it exists is homosexuality, not pedophelia.

The media label it as pedophelia and cite how young the victims are. But if it was simply a pedophelia problem, why are there so few female victims compared to the relatively large number of male victims? I suspect that for most of the abusers, age of the victim was relevant only insofar as younger victims are more vulnerable than older victims.

The media can’t call it what it really is, a homosexuality problem, because according to the media, homosexuality is normal, even something to be celebrated and promoted. For the media, a homosexual is simply acting on a normal and natural preference for the same sex. This would make a homosexual priest who acts on his preference quite normal, and the media would never have that. Even putting aside suggestions of a conspiricay to bring down the church or even a shared anti-religous and politically liberal mindset for a moment, stories about homosexual priests simply don’t sell as well as stories about pedophile priests.

And so that’s what it is - pedophelia. And the priest from my parish - celibate and holy for 25 years - walks into a hospital to give last rites to a dying man and a lady grabs her kids like the priest is going to pounce on them and rape them all right in the hallway. Its a shame.

-Tim-

 

[Cairisti]

Luckily for those of us in the Roman Rite of the CC it’s a disipline. I’ve heard from several priests who are glad for the celebicy rule. The priest at my parish told our RCIA class (where I’m on the team) that he was thankful for being celebate . Being married to him, he would have a conflict of who was more important to him at the moment - his flock, or his wife and kids. Being single, he can concentrate on his flock.

And as far as those who contend that only a married priest can understand a married couple, does that mean that a psychologist/psychiristic that’s a pedophile/ alcholic or whatever can understand that anomoly? I htink most, in those professions, would say, “no!”.

 

[Rence]

Your response is appropriate, concise and offers a personal perspective that many have not experienced. Thanks for this.

Let me give an example of the “2AM Call”. A pastor/priest/minister with a seriously or deathly ill child has a 2AM call to attend a sick parishioner in danger of dying. The Roman Catholic priest, with no dependents, is free to respond immediately and provide the sacred oils to someone in danger of death. The other must first assure the proper care of the sick child.

Physicans face the same problem but somehow manage. But you are more than entitled to your opinion

 

[Rence]

I have no idea if it would or would not help the pedophilia issue, but it should be noted that Eastern Catholics, and our Orthodox brothers, have had a Priesthood allowed to marry, with no problems I have heard of. Mind you, the rule in those Churches is that Priests may marry, but only unmarried Priests can become Bishops.

Yes, Eastern Catholic priests, married or not, seem to manage, don’t they? As well as rabbis I think that if these are capable, so are Latin Catholics.

Anyone who serves people: priests, nuns, doctors, nurses, they all have to take care of their family and their other responsibilities. It can be done. People do it all the time.

 

[PbloPicasso]

My thoughts are that existing clergy (deacons, priests and bishops) should remain in the state they are because they have already discerned celebacy and their vocation to the ordained life. There are currently many married men that are clergy (deacons and priests). Bishops ought not be married because of their specific ministry to more closely mimic the life of Christ and be pastors to all of us and his ordained/adopted sons (deacons and priests).

Now, for future clergy being married. Deacons are already mostly married. That issued is closed. Priests that are married have come from other faiths and converted with their wives. So the real issue boils down to "should married men be allowed to discern the priesthood. I realize that Protestants and many Catholics even do not realize why. It boils down to sacred tradition dealing with ordained men getting married. Contenence is another issue that hasn’t been dealt with yet as well, which complicates the subject even more. There are those who argue that contenence was the practice during the ancient Church and ought to continue. I’m not one that accepts that yet. But it is up for further discussion on another thread. I do, however, see some benefits from allowing married men to discern the priesthood. BUT, I believe that if the Church decides this to be the case, they should wade through this water carefully and very selectively.

The sex crimes committed by clergy has nothing to do with marriage. Any psychologist worth his/her weight in ??? would tell you this. The ordained ministry and religious life (sisters, nuns, brothers, deacons, priests and bishops) are places where a certain percentage of sexual abusers of all sorts have chosen to hide, Not all of the ones afflicted with same sex attraction have acted on their sins, just as those who are heterosexual have chosen to not act upon their attractions. I do believe there are probably those attracted to even children that have managed not to act upon their inclinations as well. I say this only to compare it to the far larger group of those who have entered the education system and other similar professions, not to mention many of whom have opted to get married and either do not or do act upon their vile inclinations.

A married priesthood would not be a problem to me. There are probably some that would benefit from a priest that is married. However, a priest that is married must place his first vocation before his duty to the Church.

As you can see, this is a far more complex topic than you may have intended it to be. There will be many orthodoxy and heterodox Catholics that fall on both sides of the discussion. Thankfully, the choice is not up to us, but rather the Holy See, together with the bishops. And I’m sure you already know that 90% of the priests in the Eastern Catholic side of the Church are already married, as the case in the Orthodox Church.

If anything, marriage would complicate a mans vocation serving God and the Church. There are probably some, as I stated earlier, that might benefit from a well trained priest in counseling. There are already steps being implemented to reduce the problem from years past. But there will always be those that do such evil.

I say this as a victim of sexual abuse by a priest, while I was discerning and studying to become a priest. My feelings are all over the charts about what happened to me and what didn’t happen to be after the fact. It had the largest impact on my lack of success. I have still considered taking legal actions, even after all these years so that I can regain my self-dignity that I lost as a result of being treated like a slab of meat unworthy of defending. I’ve been lied to and chastised for my role in what happened to me uninvited. I was asleep and woke to the evil being done. I stopped it immediately. However, I was 18 years old, and quite naive, but I never had the inclination to same sex attraction and never even allowed myself to be exploited by girls in my own age group, younger or older, who did try to tempt me. I resisted all of them and was true to my vocation. However, since that day, I have fallen into sin with those of the opposite sex. But I was doing it mostly out of fear that led to giving into false pride, worried about what others thought about my sexual attractions. The entire situation ruined my life for a long time, on and off. But I survive, every day. One day at a time. It may be the thing that saves my soul.

 

[TimothyH]

The Holy Father has repeatedly stated that Roman Rite priests will not marry and the issue is therefor closed.

99.999% of Roman Rite priests have no problem with being celibate. Why do we have to second guess the priests who choose celibacy themselves, and the Holy Father who has the authority over the subject? I am celibate. I chose to be so freely and conciously. I have no problem with it and really don’t care to have anybody “Help” me with it other than Jesus Christ and the Blessed Mother.

There is a good book on the subject, written for priests, but it is worth reading to understand what the call to celibacy really is, why one would choose it, and how it is lived out.

When God Asks for an Undivided Heart

I personally reject the idea that only a married priest can council married people. If you want to learn how to maintain self control, to stay committed, and to resist temptation, then I think a priest who has remained pure and holy for many years would be a good person to look to.

-Tim-

 

[Rence]

Luckily for those of us in the Roman Rite of the CC it’s a disipline. I’ve heard from several priests who are glad for the celebicy rule. The priest at my parish told our RCIA class (where I’m on the team) that he was thankful for being celebate . Being married to him, he would have a conflict of who was more important to him at the moment - his flock, or his wife and kids. Being single, he can concentrate on his flock.

And as far as those who contend that only a married priest can understand a married couple, does that mean that a psychologist/psychiristic that’s a pedophile/ alcholic or whatever can understand that anomoly? I htink most, in those professions, would say, “no!”.

The same can be said of those who contend that married priests can’t seem to be able to be part of a family as well as shepherd a flock. Of course they can: EC priests do, and Rabbis do, all the time. What about physicians with sick children who are called in the middle of the night to care for a sick patient. What? That never happens? No offense but: People don’t only get sick when doctors are sitting around waiting for something to happen.

I can understand some people thinking a priest can’t be part of a family and be a productive priest at the same time. Those are the priests who should remain single. But that shouldn’t apply to them all. They were married in the past, and will be able to marry again someday. I just hope I’m around to celebrate it St. Peter was married. He wasn’t required to divorce his wife in order to be an Apostle or the first Pope.

 

[Robertanthony]

Does anyone think that Catholic priests could benifit from being married? With all the pedophelia controversy on the news I wondered if this would be a reasonable suggestion to help the problem.
Thanks for reading and answering,
Protestant Me

It would be a great suggestion IF married men sexually preying on their offspring was unheard of. Knowing such isn’t the case, it would be pointless in that regard. Not saying it wouldn’t be beneficial in other regards. Some priests I’m sure find being deprived of sexual and emotional intimacy more challenging and mortifying in the long run than what they bargained for. So certainly for more than one priest coming home to a loving wife would bring more fulfillment and contentment to their life. Having said that, it is true that seminarians spend many years discerning their vocation and freely (hopefully) choose to remain celibate until they die, so theoratically they know what they get themselves into, but perhaps no-one quite knows what life will be like being outside of the seminary cocoon and seeing happy couples being happy, having children, enjoying their lives while they return alone to their residence.

 

[sallybutler]

If I recall correctly, St Paul suggested that everyone should be celibate. Only those who could not handle celibacy should be married.

It is a shame that we think everyone must be married. God, in His infinate wisdom, know that not everyone has the same abilities. Suggesting that must be married implies that there is something wrong with being single.

I actually think the Church is wise is requiring that pastors be single. I have listened to preachers who admit that their wife and children come before the members of the church. And they should. However, it puts the pastor in a difficult position. Does he serve his family over the church, or the church over his family?

By removing a wife and children from the equation, the priest is able to concentrate his energies on the needs of his parish.

I realize that people have a hard time accepting that not everyone is called to be married. However, if God calls someone to dedicate their life to the church as a priest, He will also give them wisdom to deal with any issues that come up.

As an aside, I know that many people will assert that a priest can not help couples with marital issues because they have no direct experience as a husband. That is nonsense. If you need brain surgery, would you only choose a doctor who had brain surgery performed on him/her?

 

[po18guy]

Does anyone think that Catholic priests could benifit from being married? With all the pedophelia controversy on the news I wondered if this would be a reasonable suggestion to help the problem.
Thanks for reading and answering,
Protestant Me

The world wants priests to be married. Jesus, not so much (Matthew 19:10-12). Saint Paul, not so much either (1 Corinthians 7:7, 1 Corinthians 7:32-35).

The pedophile problem is almost 85% homosexual in nature. How is marrying going to solve that?

Anyway, the priests are not complaining! Why do we, who are not affected by priestly celibacy, get so upset, when those observing it are not? They chose celibacy. They had years to ponder it in seminary, and before.

 

[PbloPicasso]

The problem to the extent that it exists is homosexuality, not pedophelia.

The media label it as pedophelia and cite how young the victims are. But if it was simply a pedophelia problem, why are there so few female victims compared to the relatively large number of male victims? I suspect that for most of the abusers, age of the victim was relevant only insofar as younger victims are more vulnerable than older victims.

The media can’t call it what it really is, a homosexuality problem, because according to the media, homosexuality is normal, even something to be celebrated and promoted. For the media, a homosexual is simply acting on a normal and natural preference for the same sex. This would make a homosexual priest who acts on his preference quite normal, and the media would never have that. Even putting aside suggestions of a conspiricay to bring down the church or even a shared anti-religous and politically liberal mindset for a moment, stories about homosexual priests simply don’t sell as well as stories about pedophile priests.

And so that’s what it is - pedophelia. And the priest from my parish - celibate and holy for 25 years - walks into a hospital to give last rites to a dying man and a lady grabs her kids like the priest is going to pounce on them and rape them all right in the hallway. Its a shame.

-Tim-

Tim,

Thanks for your reply. The truth is that for most of us, any priest that had sex with a minor is guilty of pedophilia. There’s no way to argue effectively against this point. Priest go through a long discernment that lasts almost a decade. By the time they’re ordained they’re at least 26 years of age. They should and do thoroughly know better. If a female teacher laid hands on my 16 year old boy, I would refer to her as a pedophile too. I would not hesitate to take her down to the level of sex offender either. If a man tried this on my son at this age, up through his teenage years, I’d not only go after him for pedophilia, but also immoral demented sexual desires. Now throw an ordained man, that is supposed to be led by the Holy Spirit, that we are required to obey, I would be lucky if I didn’t act upon my inclination to do harm to him myself for carrying out the works of Satan to destroy God’s creation. I would be triple times the anger and even more. I also know other Catholics feel the same as I do. A day of reckoning is coming for those that have done such evil without reconciliation with God.

Aside from that, you are absolutely right. The media is out to taint the Catholic Church at all cost. But the Church is the easiest target to hate without the general public getting upset. That paints our Protestant brethren in a lesser light for not realizing this fact. The media is out to get Christianity in general at all cost. And our Protestant brethren need to get on the same side of the fence as the Catholic Church on the matters of morals and teaching if they want to survive. The first to be fought with such unfairness is just the beginning of this evil game the secularized world plays. The hypocrisy of the media is alarming.

 

[105lynne]

I agree it has nothing to do with it, and yes a lot of people think that Catholics are more guilty because it is publicized. But I think that it may help with the urges that are natural to man, that is all I’m trying to say.

Urges for WOMEN are natural for men. Urges for little children are NOT. Pedophilia is a disorder, not a result from “not getting any”.

 

[po18guy]

Yes, Eastern Catholic priests, married or not, seem to manage, don’t they? As well as rabbis I think that if these are capable, so are Latin Catholics.

Anyone who serves people: priests, nuns, doctors, nurses, they all have to take care of their family and their other responsibilities. It can be done. People do it all the time.

To quote Saint Paul: 1 Corinthians 6:12 Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition (DRA)
“All things are lawful to me, but all things are not expedient. All things are lawful to me, but I will not be brought under the power of any.”

1 Corinthians 10:23 Douay-Rheims 1899 American Edition (DRA) “All things are lawful for me, but all things do not edify.”

This is a discipline of the Latin Rite. What is the problem, since the priests are not the ones complaining?