Could this be implying commendation of homosexuality?

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Butaperson

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So I have a really good friend who is not straight, not Catholic, very liberal ect. Recently she began dating a girl. I know that as a Catholic I shouldn’t support homosexual unions, but as a friend, I have to celebrate when my friends get into relationships. I was excited and I congratulated her, and honestly, I’m so happy for her. I don’t agree with what she’s doing on a technical level, but she’s really happy, and I have a responsibility as a friend to be happy that she’s happy.

Anyways I’m thinking about confessing it but I don’t know. Is it really that big of a deal? It’s honestly just so great to see a friend being that happy and excited that it’s hard to not join in, you know? What should I do?
 
That is a REALLY hard call! I am 66 years old and have known and been friends with both men and women who were gay. I dearly loved them, I detested their lifestyles and totally do not agree with it (I really do think it is an abomination and all the other stuff about it). BUT they were such good people really. Kind, loving, generous. I have never talked to a priest about this and my friends knew I am Catholic and knew my views on this subject. We just never discussed it. I felt like it was a private thing for them and didn’t want to “preach” to them. I also have a couple of girlfriends, from college, been friends for 48 years. One girl’s son is gay and the other girl’s stepdaughter is gay. It is such a difficult place to be in because we love the person and hate the sin…I don’t have an answer and would like to know how others deal with this issue.
 
This is not to put your friends down; I just hope that it can give you some perspective… so saying that let me ask you this:

If your friend successfully robbed a bank and got a lot of money without being caught would you be happy for them because they were happy?

If your friend beat up someone who scared them and who had done them wrong without being caught or recognised, would you be happy for them because they were happy to have done that?

If your friend was married and finally managed to “get lucky” with someone other than their spouse that they’d lusted after without being caught by their spouse, would you be happy for them because they were happy to have “scored”?

Being happy for someone’s sinful actions is like being happy that they are not going to go to heaven and that is not being a friend.

I hope this didn’t come across as too harsh, but like misplaced compassion it sometmes is hard to not buy into the secular world’s perception of how we should view situations that we are emotionally engaged by.
 
Butaperson said:
but as a friend, I have to celebrate when my friends get into relationships.
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Um, no you don’t.

What other sins would you celebrate if your friend committed them? Would you celebrate an abortion, theft, murder, cheating, blasphemy against God?

So, why this sin?
Butaperson said:
but she’s really happy
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Real happiness can only be found in God. She is “happy” doing something that is bad for her eternal soul and jeopardizes her salvation. There isn’t anything to be happy about.
Butaperson said:
and I have a responsibility as a friend to be happy that she’s happy.
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No, you don’t.

Your obligation is to the truth.
Butaperson said:
Anyways I’m thinking about confessing it but I don’t know. Is it really that big of a deal?
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Yes.
Butaperson said:
It’s honestly just so great to see a friend being that happy and excited that it’s hard to not join in, you know? What should I do?
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What if taking drugs makes someone happy? Anorexia or bulimia? Bing drinking? Pornography? Prostitution?

Would you be HAPPY and join in for any of those major accomplishments in life?

There are many things our friends might choose to do that make them “happy”. It is a false happiness. These things are still wrong. They are still harmful to the person’s soul.

As a Christian, we are always called to lead people to the truth.
 
Something I learned over 60 years ago, as a boy in a Jesuit Parochial School: When in doubt, confess. The priest will help you resolve your dilemma.
 
This is where you have to tiptoe delicately–you need to be kind and a friend to her, but you can’t affirm her in sin.

And no, you don’t have to be happy she’s in a relationship. Would you be happy if she was dallying with a married man?

I’m assuming she knows you’re Catholic? Or is your conversation all one sided, where she expounds and you listen.

I wouldn’t go in saying “you’re wrong!” And loudly discrediting her. I would advise saying something like–“the reason for Catholic teaching on chastity is because…” And give her a brief reason.

If you can give a brief, one sentence testimony of why you’re a Catholic, that’s excellent. She won’t run and break up with her girlfriend, but it could plant the seed in her mind for further reflection.
 
DaddyGirl said:
So many people have a family member, friend or loved one who is homosexual.
I do hope that most people today finally understand that this orientation is not a “lifestyle choice”, has been part of humankind for eons, and it’s not going away.
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Excuse me but the homosexual lifestyle IS a choice even if their orientation was not a conscious choice.
 
Erm, DaddyGirl–why did you edit out the second sentence of my paragraph there? No, not every relationship should be celebrated. Why should she be “happy” that any of her (probably teenage) friends are in a sexual relationship at an age where she should be concentrating on schoolwork and figuring out a future career and finding out who she is as a person.

All these tasks are hard enough without complicating it with sex and immature attitudes and hormones.
 
Butaperson said:
I was excited and I congratulated her, and honestly, I’m so happy for her. I don’t agree with what she’s doing on a technical level, but she’s really happy, and I have a responsibility as a friend to be happy that she’s happy.
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Just a quick remark: You are not “buta” at all. You are quite “okos”. If you understand me, that is cool… if you don’t, that is not a problem either. 🙂
 
FaustinaJulia said:
This is not to put your friends down; I just hope that it can give you some perspective… so saying that let me ask you this:

If your friend successfully robbed a bank and got a lot of money without being caught would you be happy for them because they were happy?

If your friend beat up someone who scared them and who had done them wrong without being caught or recognised, would you be happy for them because they were happy to have done that?

If your friend was married and finally managed to “get lucky” with someone other than their spouse that they’d lusted after without being caught by their spouse, would you be happy for them because they were happy to have “scored”?

Being happy for someone’s sinful actions is like being happy that they are not going to go to heaven and that is not being a friend.

I hope this didn’t come across as too harsh, but like misplaced compassion it sometmes is hard to not buy into the secular world’s perception of how we should view situations that we are emotionally engaged by.
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How do you know they are engaging in sex?
 
Being homosexual isn’t a sin, it’s a burden or cross some people are called to carry. If they carry it faithfully they will be rewarded. I too ask what is meant by the “gay life style”? If that is to mean that sexual sin’s that are forbidden to all people are now okay and part of a “lifestyle” acceptable to God for people who are homosexual, then that is false. If it means that the teachings of Christ’s church doesn’t apply to them and it, that too is false.
 
DaddyGirl said:
I didn’t say the “homosexual lifestyle” wasn’t a choice.
I said, as you pull-quoted in your reply, that the orientation was not a choice.

(what exactly do you mean by “the homosexual lifestyle”? Many gay people don’t have sex just as many heterosexual people don’t…and that is their lifestyle. The “homosexual lifestyle” doesn’t necessarily mean a person is having sex).

Of course, all our actions are choices in the grand scheme of things.

If a heterosexual or a homosexual has sex without being married, these are “choices” that each is making in their lives, like anything else.
(hence: “lifestyle choices”)

If a heterosexual is having sex without being married, then to use your wording and definition…that would be “a heterosexual lifestyle” choice.

.
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You are splitting hairs to the point of absurdity. I do not have a personal definition for what the homosexual lifestyle is. I refer to the commonly accepted understanding that a homosexual lifestyle involves homosexual behaviors. I then pointed out that it IS a choice to engage in homosexual behavior.
 
Deus_tecum said:
You are splitting hairs to the point of absurdity. I do not have a personal definition for what the homosexual lifestyle is. I refer to the commonly accepted understanding that a homosexual lifestyle involves homosexual behaviors. I then pointed out that it IS a choice to engage in homosexual behavior.
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Yes sin is always a choice as we have free will.
 
Butaperson said:
So I have a really good friend who is not straight, not Catholic, very liberal ect. Recently she began dating a girl. I know that as a Catholic I shouldn’t support homosexual unions, but as a friend, I have to celebrate when my friends get into relationships. I was excited and I congratulated her, and honestly, I’m so happy for her. I don’t agree with what she’s doing on a technical level, but she’s really happy, and I have a responsibility as a friend to be happy that she’s happy.

Anyways I’m thinking about confessing it but I don’t know. Is it really that big of a deal? It’s honestly just so great to see a friend being that happy and excited that it’s hard to not join in, you know? What should I do?
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A lot of times when we say “I am so HAPPY for you!!!” we are not. We are just trying to act like we accept something that we are actually troubled about. It’s kind of high-school-ish. On a technical level? Hello - you don’t agree with it. It makes you feel uncomfortable. Reflect on that. You can accept your friend, but obviously you do not agree with what she has chosen. Good for you!
 
The older I get, the less I want to know about other people’s lives.
 
Polycarp1 said:
Being homosexual isn’t a sin, it’s a burden or cross some people are called to carry. If they carry it faithfully they will be rewarded. I too ask what is meant by the “gay life style”? If that is to mean that sexual sin’s that are forbidden to all people are now okay and part of a “lifestyle” acceptable to God for people who are homosexual, then that is false. If it means that the teachings of Christ’s church doesn’t apply to them and it, that too is false.
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Yes, somebody who has it right. Being same sex oriented is not a sin at all, yet some posters on this thread want to call it a condemning one. Two things, taken from the Catechism of the Catholic Church (so these are not my opinion but rather, the pronouncements of the Church):
  1. Some people are oriented toward homosexual preferences. They are to be lovingly accepted, and not subject to discrimination (or scorn) for this preference.
  2. Homosexual people are called to live in chastity. That is, refrain from homosexual sex acts. That’s all it says. It does not say that homosexual oriented people are called to live in chastity, and then when they die they are going to hell anyway because of their personal preference.
Because the combination of our federal and states’ governments have come up with over 74,000 laws which explicitly discriminate against single people in favor of married people (look at tax laws, insurance laws, right of attorney laws, housing laws, next-of-kin laws, etc. etc.), I fully support the concept of same sex civil unions which have the same legal protections (but not recognition by the Church) as married unions enjoy. If two homosexual people get into a relationship and want to live together as a civilly united couple for legal purposes, I see nothing wrong with celebrating it; they are not engaging in sinful behavior. If they proceed to engage in fornication, that is another issue. That is sinful and no place for celebration.

Unless one knows, with 100 percent certainty, what is happening inside the house, that person is in no position to judge the rightness or wrongness of their actions.

Oh, as for what St. Paul said about “homosexuals shall not enter the Kingdom,” I’d be careful about taking a fourth century translation of a first century Greek letter, and applying a 21st century definition to it. Paul was talking about the act, not a preference in the heart.
 
It is time the Church,instead of blindly opposing it, to have a relook in the matter of homosexuality and same sex marriagee in the context of more and more people coming forward to discuss about it and more and more countries legalising SSM. Intense love and attraction including desire to have sex (unnatural ) with persons of same sex appears to be a medical condition but unfortunately with out any treatment.It is not caused due to lack prayer or absence of proper religious practices.Countries taking out same sex from crime list,legalising SSM etc.does not mean that they encourage such practices and appears to have done so out of compassion and on humanitarian grounds to mitigate the hardship of the affected .
 
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