Courage conference to minister to those with same-sex attraction

[markomalley]

Im pointing out that its a message that fails in the 21st century, regardless of the conversations you had 4 decades ago.

It’s a message that fails in the 21st century.

I pondered your statements for a while.

You may be right. The communication of the message may not get through to people in the 21st century. After all, the rest of the world is telling them that they are perfectly OK and that people who have a problem with them are wrong.

I would imagine that the person with one leg shorter than the other may have a hard time accepting his condition if the rest of the world tells him that it is a design flaw with the sidewalks and hallways of the world are not built properly.

I would imagine that the person with Tourettes would have a hard time believing that sudden outbursts of profanity are inappropriate if the rest of the world said that his outbursts were fine.

I would imagine that the pyromaniac would have a hard time believing that setting other peoples’ houses on fire was wrong when the rest of the world hands him matches constantly.

So, since you are so much in tune with what “works” in the 21st century…moreso than a fossil like me, help an old dinosaur out. Tell me a more effective way to communicate it without watering it down.

I suspect you are telling me that I need to water down 2,000 years of Church teaching and 3,500 years of teachings of the Scriptures in order to make it more acceptable. I suspect that you wish for the Church to say, “never mind, homosexuality is OK. Sodomy is not really a sin anymore. Sure, you can marry who or whatever you’d like and you can throw that other person away in divorce at your leisure.” I value peoples’ souls too much to steer them toward hell by compromising like that.

But if you are suggesting that it is a matter of more effectively communicating Church teaching, by all means, please tell me.

Thanks,

 

[Prodigal_Son]

Marie,

As a man who has dealt with same-sex attraction since I was 10 or 11, let me weigh in on some of what you’re saying. First of all, I would say that gay or bisexual people would, at best, consider themselves “virtually normal” (as Andrew Sullivan puts it). Many don’t really want to be normal. Speaking for myself, I both feel that my SSA is something profoundly wrong, and something deeply special about me. (I don’t endorse these feelings, but that’s the way it feels).

I’ve heard gay people talk about how disappointing it is that their actions are becoming less shocking and more socially acceptable. There is a reason that gay pride parades all-too-often involve blatant exhibitionism or even public sex. Among gay men, at least, the desire to completely unleash the sexual impulse is very real.

At the same time, I agree with the notion that being gay need not be dealt with as a problem. There’s nothing inherently unchaste about being gay. “Those in the flesh cannot please God” (Rom 8). But gay people *can *please God, by living according to the Spirit.

I agree that, sometimes, ministries like Courage can come off as considering being gay (or having SSA) as roughly equivalent to being an addict. And that’s not good.

Again,they equate happen to being born gay as as normal as being born with brown eyes. Someone telling them their being born gay is disordered or wrong makes as much sense to them as someone saying “your having brown eyes is disordred. Something is WRONG with you. You being you is a cross. Your existance is a cross to you”

First of all, I’m not sure anyone is born gay (or bisexual), although I do believe that genetics plays some role.

More importantly, I think it’s worth saying that “being gay” is something very broad and diffuse, and surely most things about being gay aren’t wrong. (For example, lots of gay people are especially gifted at music, or they like bright and flashy colors; there is nothing wrong with these things, for sure). But what about, say, the “being a man who wants to have sex with men” part? Is that wrong? It is a temptation, and there’s nothing shocking about it – it is as old as mankind – but yes, it’s wrong. Is it normal? In some sense, yes. But it is disordered.

 

[Holly3278]

I notice that some people seem to think that the homosexual inclination is “normal”. The fact is, it is not normal to be attracted to persons of the same sex. What is normal is being attracted only to the opposite sex. I am a person who struggles with attraction to the same sex. I am also attracted to the opposite sex. I fully accept the Church’s teaching that my attraction to the same sex is disordered and not normal. Even the Catechism of the Catholic Church says that the homosexual inclination is disordered:

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God’s will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord’s Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

So, since you are so much in tune with what “works” in the 21st century…moreso than a fossil like me, help an old dinosaur out. Tell me a more effective way to communicate it without watering it down.

Hi Mark,

You didn’t ask me, so that’s why I’m answering.

As I said above, I have SSA. Here’s my experience with the Church. (I will confine myself to talking about males with SSA, since that’s my experience).

From a young age, I knew that the Church did not have resources for me to cope with homosexual feelings. It was pretty much understood that, if you were a boy who was attracted to other boys, you just bottle that up and act like everybody else. Someday, of course, you will realize that you can’t just be “like the other boys”, that you have this deep longing for closeness with other men – a longing that no one in the Church seems to understand – and that you somehow have to get this need met.

When you finally discover this, you might be in college. You might be in your late 20s. You might be married. You might be a priest.

Bottling things up didn’t work well, now, did it?

I think that ministry to gay kids is in such bad shape because we don’t like to acknowledge that there is a real, genuine need here. Gay men really do need affection from other men, and intimacy with other men. (Intimacy, certainly not sex). I’m not saying that getting these things will “cure” them. But the message can’t just be “keep it in your pants”.

Moreover, there has to be someplace for a boy with SSA to talk about his feelings – someplace at least as welcoming as a high school LGBT club. This means that we can’t act like being gay is some sort of shady secret. Somebody should be talking to youth groups, and saying, “There are different challenges that kids face growing up. Let me talk to you about my challenges. Now I want to hear, one-on-one, about your challenges. There might be something you’ve never told anyone, because you’re too afraid. You can tell me. I won’t judge you for your feelings, and God isn’t judging you either.”

That type of thing.

One other thing: when I was young, I *almost *felt comfortable to talk to my priest. I knew all about the pedophile scandal, however, and this may have been barrier to talking. I mean, imagine thinking about revealing something so very personal about yourself, only to find that the person you trusted considered your confiding in him a sexual opportunity. So I think the effects of the scandals are very far reaching, which means that the best people to head up ministries about SSA are probably not priests.

I envision a time when Catholic men and women are open about their same-sex attraction, at least in certain contexts. When they have resources to abstain from sin, and guidance about how to receive love and affection from other men and women. When the fact that someone is broken is not reason for them to hide.

A whole lot of light in needed in this area!

 

[Prodigal_Son]

I notice that some people seem to think that the homosexual inclination is “normal”. The fact is, it is not normal to be attracted to persons of the same sex. What is normal is being attracted only to the opposite sex. I am a person who struggles with attraction to the same sex. I am also attracted to the opposite sex. I fully accept the Church’s teaching that my attraction to the same sex is disordered and not normal. Even the Catechism of the Catholic Church says that the homosexual inclination is disordered:

Two senses of “normal”, Holly. Homosexuality is normal, in the sense that it occurs commonly and there is nothing inherently shocking or awful about it. (This has to be said, because the taboo against homosexuality made it appear shocking and awful.) Homosexuality is abnormal, in the sense that it is not God’s ultimate plan for anyone, since male-male or female-female sexual activity is not life-giving – not to the individuals involved nor to the wider world.

 

[Holly3278]

Two senses of “normal”, Holly. Homosexuality is normal, in the sense that it occurs commonly and there is nothing inherently shocking or awful about it. (This has to be said, because the taboo against homosexuality made it appear shocking and awful.) Homosexuality is abnormal, in the sense that it is not God’s ultimate plan for anyone, since male-male or female-female sexual activity is not life-giving – not to the individuals involved nor to the wider world.

Yes, I meant it in the second sense.

 

[Marie5890]

I pondered your statements for a while.

You may be right. The communication of the message may not get through to people in the 21st century. After all, the rest of the world is telling them that they are perfectly OK and that people who have a problem with them are wrong.

I would imagine that the person with one leg shorter than the other may have a hard time accepting his condition if the rest of the world tells him that it is a design flaw with the sidewalks and hallways of the world are not built properly.

I would imagine that the person with Tourettes would have a hard time believing that sudden outbursts of profanity are inappropriate if the rest of the world said that his outbursts were fine.

I would imagine that the pyromaniac would have a hard time believing that setting other peoples’ houses on fire was wrong when the rest of the world hands him matches constantly.

So, since you are so much in tune with what “works” in the 21st century…moreso than a fossil like me, help an old dinosaur out. Tell me a more effective way to communicate it without watering it down.

I suspect you are telling me that I need to water down 2,000 years of Church teaching and 3,500 years of teachings of the Scriptures in order to make it more acceptable. I suspect that you wish for the Church to say, “never mind, homosexuality is OK. Sodomy is not really a sin anymore. Sure, you can marry who or whatever you’d like and you can throw that other person away in divorce at your leisure.” I value peoples’ souls too much to steer them toward hell by compromising like that.

But if you are suggesting that it is a matter of more effectively communicating Church teaching, by all means, please tell me.

Thanks,

And as a paraplegic for over 40 years, I dont see myself as something “wrong” with me. It’s very normal for me.
But maybe that is why I see the weakness of the arguement. It’s something I have lived. But yes, because other see me as having something wrong with me, I am treated different, even marginalized… So perhaps something is wrong with me including my view of what being paralyzed should make me feel…

 

[Marie5890]

Hi Mark,

You didn’t ask me, so that’s why I’m answering.

As I said above, I have SSA. Here’s my experience with the Church. (I will confine myself to talking about males with SSA, since that’s my experience).

From a young age, I knew that the Church did not have resources for me to cope with homosexual feelings. It was pretty much understood that, if you were a boy who was attracted to other boys, you just bottle that up and act like everybody else. Someday, of course, you will realize that you can’t just be “like the other boys”, that you have this deep longing for closeness with other men – a longing that no one in the Church seems to understand – and that you somehow have to get this need met.

When you finally discover this, you might be in college. You might be in your late 20s. You might be married. You might be a priest.

Bottling things up didn’t work well, now, did it?

I think that ministry to gay kids is in such bad shape because we don’t like to acknowledge that there is a real, genuine need here. Gay men really do need affection from other men, and intimacy with other men. (Intimacy, certainly not sex). I’m not saying that getting these things will “cure” them. But the message can’t just be “keep it in your pants”.

Moreover, there has to be someplace for a boy with SSA to talk about his feelings – someplace at least as welcoming as a high school LGBT club. This means that we can’t act like being gay is some sort of shady secret. Somebody should be talking to youth groups, and saying, “There are different challenges that kids face growing up. Let me talk to you about my challenges. Now I want to hear, one-on-one, about your challenges. There might be something you’ve never told anyone, because you’re too afraid. You can tell me. I won’t judge you for your feelings, and God isn’t judging you either.”

That type of thing.

One other thing: when I was young, I *almost *felt comfortable to talk to my priest. I knew all about the pedophile scandal, however, and this may have been barrier to talking. I mean, imagine thinking about revealing something so very personal about yourself, only to find that the person you trusted considered your confiding in him a sexual opportunity. So I think the effects of the scandals are very far reaching, which means that the best people to head up ministries about SSA are probably not priests.

I envision a time when Catholic men and women are open about their same-sex attraction, at least in certain contexts. When they have resources to abstain from sin, and guidance about how to receive love and affection from other men and women. When the fact that someone is broken is not reason for them to hide.

A whole lot of light in needed in this area!

Prodigal_Son thanks for taking the time and sharing your experience.
Very much appreciated. God Bless!

 

[Marie5890]

Marie,

As a man who has dealt with same-sex attraction since I was 10 or 11, let me weigh in on some of what you’re saying. First of all, I would say that gay or bisexual people would, at best, consider themselves “virtually normal” (as Andrew Sullivan puts it). Many don’t really want to be normal. Speaking for myself, I both feel that my SSA is something profoundly wrong, and something deeply special about me. (I don’t endorse these feelings, but that’s the way it feels).

I’ve heard gay people talk about how disappointing it is that their actions are becoming less shocking and more socially acceptable. There is a reason that gay pride parades all-too-often involve blatant exhibitionism or even public sex. Among gay men, at least, the desire to completely unleash the sexual impulse is very real.

At the same time, I agree with the notion that being gay need not be dealt with as a problem. There’s nothing inherently unchaste about being gay. “Those in the flesh cannot please God” (Rom 8). But gay people *can *please God, by living according to the Spirit.

I agree that, sometimes, ministries like Courage can come off as considering being gay (or having SSA) as roughly equivalent to being an addict. And that’s not good.

First of all, I’m not sure anyone is born gay (or bisexual), although I do believe that genetics plays some role.

More importantly, I think it’s worth saying that “being gay” is something very broad and diffuse, and surely most things about being gay aren’t wrong. (For example, lots of gay people are especially gifted at music, or they like bright and flashy colors; there is nothing wrong with these things, for sure). But what about, say, the “being a man who wants to have sex with men” part? Is that wrong? It is a temptation, and there’s nothing shocking about it – it is as old as mankind – but yes, it’s wrong. Is it normal? In some sense, yes. But it is disordered.

Perhaps where I go wrong is that I compare it to my being paralyzed, which for me is normal. My being me, which includes being paralyzed, isnt the cross that people keep telling me it is or should be. LOL Yea, Im paralyzed, and I have brown eyes. Big deal.

Maybe I am just an odd ball in my view.

 

[markomalley]

And as a paraplegic for over 40 years, I dont see myself as something “wrong” with me. It’s very normal for me.
But maybe that is why I see the weakness of the arguement. It’s something I have lived. But yes, because other see me as having something wrong with me, I am treated different, even marginalized… So perhaps something is wrong with me including my view of what being paralyzed should make me feel…

Fair enough.

The fact of the matter is, though (and with all due respect), there is something wrong with you. And I don’t say that to make it seem that I think any less of you as a person, I don’t (for what that’s worth saying that over the Internet). But ignoring it and making a claim that there is absolutely nothing wrong does ***you ***no favors.

Again, that is not to say that the inherent value ***you ***have as a human being is any less because you do not have the ability to use your legs.

Would you look forward to the time when neurosurgery was advanced enough to repair the damage in your spine that caused you to lose the ability to control your legs (or the corresponding specialty in medicine if it was some other cause)? I would be shocked if you said that you wouldn’t love to be able to use them again. But if there is not a problem, why would you care one way or the other?

So in the meantime, society needs to work with you in order to help you cope, right? Accessible facilities, mobility technology, and so on…

Of course, there are limitations in the analogy. You say that you have been a paraplegic for 40 years…so I assume, based on that, that it was something that was caused by some kind of event (car accident? disease?) and was not something that you were either born with or just gradually worked out. (If my assumption is wrong, apologies). And, likewise, other than the risk of falling into despair, I can’t possibly imagine something gravely sinful that would naturally be the result of paraplegia.

But the three points above, I would tend to think, would be the same. Recognize that yes, it is a problem (challenge?). If it’s possible, try to fix it. If fixing it isn’t an option, try to help the person help him/herself live in society without sin.

Claiming that same sex attraction is not a problem (challenge? cross?) is that…if it’s not a problem, why would acting on it be a problem? If you go there…then you are essentially rejecting God, or replacing God with a god of your own making.

And perhaps that is the ultimate end of it: St Paul talked about acceptance of all manner of perversions (not just homosexuality) as the effect of rejecting God…or replacing worship of the creator with the worship of the created (cf Rom 1:18ff). And perhaps that’s ultimately where it needs to get back to.

Having said the above, if you have any suggestions that don’t involve watering down the truth, I’m still all ears.

 

[markomalley]

Hi Mark,

You didn’t ask me, so that’s why I’m answering.

As I said above, I have SSA. Here’s my experience with the Church. (I will confine myself to talking about males with SSA, since that’s my experience).

From a young age, I knew that the Church did not have resources for me to cope with homosexual feelings. It was pretty much understood that, if you were a boy who was attracted to other boys, you just bottle that up and act like everybody else. Someday, of course, you will realize that you can’t just be “like the other boys”, that you have this deep longing for closeness with other men – a longing that no one in the Church seems to understand – and that you somehow have to get this need met.

When you finally discover this, you might be in college. You might be in your late 20s. You might be married. You might be a priest.

Bottling things up didn’t work well, now, did it?

I think that ministry to gay kids is in such bad shape because we don’t like to acknowledge that there is a real, genuine need here. Gay men really do need affection from other men, and intimacy with other men. (Intimacy, certainly not sex). I’m not saying that getting these things will “cure” them. But the message can’t just be “keep it in your pants”.

Moreover, there has to be someplace for a boy with SSA to talk about his feelings – someplace at least as welcoming as a high school LGBT club. This means that we can’t act like being gay is some sort of shady secret. Somebody should be talking to youth groups, and saying, “There are different challenges that kids face growing up. Let me talk to you about my challenges. Now I want to hear, one-on-one, about your challenges. There might be something you’ve never told anyone, because you’re too afraid. You can tell me. I won’t judge you for your feelings, and God isn’t judging you either.”

That type of thing.

One other thing: when I was young, I *almost *felt comfortable to talk to my priest. I knew all about the pedophile scandal, however, and this may have been barrier to talking. I mean, imagine thinking about revealing something so very personal about yourself, only to find that the person you trusted considered your confiding in him a sexual opportunity. So I think the effects of the scandals are very far reaching, which means that the best people to head up ministries about SSA are probably not priests.

I envision a time when Catholic men and women are open about their same-sex attraction, at least in certain contexts. When they have resources to abstain from sin, and guidance about how to receive love and affection from other men and women. When the fact that someone is broken is not reason for them to hide.

A whole lot of light in needed in this area!

You are right that a whole lot of light is needed in the area.

One of the tragedies I see from homosexuality is that it inhibits men from having truly close relationships with other men. That’s all men…not just homosexual men.

 

[Marie5890]

Fair enough.

The fact of the matter is, though (and with all due respect), there is something wrong with you. And I don’t say that to make it seem that I think any less of you as a person, I don’t (for what that’s worth saying that over the Internet). But ignoring it and making a claim that there is absolutely nothing wrong does ***you ***no favors.

Again, that is not to say that the inherent value ***you ***have as a human being is any less because you do not have the ability to use your legs.

Would you look forward to the time when neurosurgery was advanced enough to repair the damage in your spine that caused you to lose the ability to control your legs (or the corresponding specialty in medicine if it was some other cause)? I would be shocked if you said that you wouldn’t love to be able to use them again. But if there is not a problem, why would you care one way or the other?

So in the meantime, society needs to work with you in order to help you cope, right? Accessible facilities, mobility technology, and so on…

Of course, there are limitations in the analogy. You say that you have been a paraplegic for 40 years…so I assume, based on that, that it was something that was caused by some kind of event (car accident? disease?) and was not something that you were either born with or just gradually worked out. (If my assumption is wrong, apologies). And, likewise, other than the risk of falling into despair, I can’t possibly imagine something gravely sinful that would naturally be the result of paraplegia.

But the three points above, I would tend to think, would be the same. Recognize that yes, it is a problem (challenge?). If it’s possible, try to fix it. If fixing it isn’t an option, try to help the person help him/herself live in society without sin.

Claiming that same sex attraction is not a problem (challenge? cross?) is that…if it’s not a problem, why would acting on it be a problem? If you go there…then you are essentially rejecting God, or replacing God with a god of your own making.

And perhaps that is the ultimate end of it: St Paul talked about acceptance of all manner of perversions (not just homosexuality) as the effect of rejecting God…or replacing worship of the creator with the worship of the created (cf Rom 1:18ff). And perhaps that’s ultimately where it needs to get back to.

Having said the above, if you have any suggestions that don’t involve watering down the truth, I’m still all ears.

It’s a fair statement that I adjusted many years ago (complications to surgery). And in and of itself it’s not a cross. What is a cross is the way I am viewed, the marginalization, people seeing me as “different”.

I can’t speak for Prodigal_Son and his experience, but for me the challenge lies in dealing with others, with society, with stereotypes, not in being paralyzed. That is easy.

And it’s also a fair statement that other people who are paralyzed or whatever, do feel it a cross for them.

It just isnt for me. Only the attitudes of society, and the stereotyping.
Again, I am an odd ball, and that is a very real statement.

 

[markomalley]

It’s a fair statement that I adjusted many years ago (complications to surgery). And in and of itself it’s not a cross. What is a cross is the way I am viewed, the marginalization, people seeing me as “different”.

I can’t speak for Prodigal_Son and his experience, but for me the challenge lies in dealing with others, with society, with stereotypes, not in being paralyzed. That is easy.

And it’s also a fair statement that other people who are paralyzed or whatever, do feel it a cross for them.

It just isnt for me. Only the attitudes of society, and the stereotyping.
Again, I am an odd ball, and that is a very real statement.

I can sympathize with that, even if I can’t fully appreciate it.

 

[fix]

It’s not the Church’s message that fails, Marie. It is the hearts of others that fail to receive it, for whatever reason. But with that in mind, it would be a waste of effort to pitch such a truth to individuals whose hearts are in that sort of place. Now, to other Catholics, it is useful to reiterate that message for strengthening and affirmation.

Very true. Given the state if this culture relativism and scientism have so indoctrinated minds that being deceived is common. Of course, few want to a claim their desires are abnormal when our consciences are so misinformed. No one wants to stop doing what they are doing.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

One of the tragedies I see from homosexuality is that it inhibits men from having truly close relationships with other men. That’s all men…not just homosexual men.

Agreed.

 

[mlz]

But this is just saying that sinners (which is all of us) don’t like to be confronted with the fact that we’re sinners (which is also all of us). This is of course true, but that’s the very nature of fallen humanity, we can’t change it.

No one likes to shown (or admit) when they do something immoral, we all have the pride that wants to resist and justify whatever we do. But it is the heart of the Christian faith to present the Truth to others and do our best to help them see.

Yes, unfortunately, some will will reject the Truth, but just because some reject it, it doesn’t mean we stop presenting it. Jesus presented the Truth to the world, and the world rejected Him so very much that they crucified Him. His message was so poorly received that almost no one stayed loyal to Him through the crucifixion, even His own Apostles. The Church had always been presecuted for presenting the Truth, and always will be. The message of Christianity will never be popular because it goes against the ways of the world by definiton.

So our “success” isn’t determined by how popular our message is, or whether people want to hear it. Our “success” is in being faithful witnesses to the Truth.

This is very well put, thank you!
mlz

 

[Prodigal_Son]

Perhaps where I go wrong is that I compare it to my being paralyzed, which for me is normal. My being me, which includes being paralyzed, isnt the cross that people keep telling me it is or should be. LOL Yea, Im paralyzed, and I have brown eyes. Big deal.

Maybe I am just an odd ball in my view.

Thanks for sharing more about yourself! Nice to meet you.

So I think that you would agree that having full range of movement is a good thing, no? That’s why God made it possible for many people. But there are special graces available to those who are paralyzed, and this may be God’s way of working in your life.

Similarly, isn’t having a vigorous attraction to the opposite sex a good thing? And isn’t having a desire for which there is no appropriate outlet (SSA) an unfortunate thing? And yet, having this desire may be the way that God is made manifest in my life – if so, blessed be God! That doesn’t mean that my desire is good in itself, though.

Nor, I think, is lacking range of movement good in itself. Although, perhaps a better metaphor would be this: what if you were paralyzed, except for a bionic gun-arm that could only shoot people, not do anything good. Maybe that’s what other posters are saying that homosexuality is like.

I don’t agree with them, but I see their point.

Anyway, God bless you on your journey!

 

[ringil]

Here’s something I have never been clear on regarding COURAGE.

Do they help homosexuals live a chaste and celibate life. If so, that is a great thing.

If, on the other hand, they try to help homosexuals “become” heterosexuals or encourage those with deep-seated SSA to engage in marriage- that is not OK and will invariably lead to familial tragedy.

 

[Prodigal_Son]

Here’s something I have never been clear on regarding COURAGE.

Do they help homosexuals live a chaste and celibate life. If so, that is a great thing.

If, on the other hand, they try to help homosexuals “become” heterosexuals or encourage those with deep-seated SSA to engage in marriage- that is not OK and will invariably lead to familial tragedy.

I’m not sure I can answer your question, first of all, since I have no connection with Courage. However, I did want to comment on the language you use here. You talk about “those with deep-seated SSA” and how they shouldn’t get married. I wonder, do you mean that anyone with deep-seated SSA shouldn’t get married, even if that person also has a meaningful physical and emotional attraction to the opposite sex, as well?

I’m a man with deep-seated SSA, and I am head over heels in love with my wife. I’m guessing you just weren’t of thinking of men like me when you wrote this? Or do you think my marriage will inevitably lead to family tragedy?

 

[Marie5890]

I have always found the view that God need or uses a set of circumstance to manifest Himself a bit odd. God doesnt need me to be paralyzed to manifest Himself. He would have so regardless. It less about circumstance and more about attitude,
And I don’t think its either/ or proposition about one set of Cir cumstnace being better or more desirable than other. God moves in both, manifest Himself in both. Whether a person is open to Him is again about attitude and not about circumstance

so

Thanks for sharing more about yourself! Nice to meet you.

So I think that you would agree that having full range of movement is a good thing, no? That’s why God made it possible for many people. But there are special graces available to those who are paralyzed, and this may be God’s way of working in your life.

Similarly, isn’t having a vigorous attraction to the opposite sex a good thing? And isn’t having a desire for which there is no appropriate outlet (SSA) an unfortunate thing? And yet, having this desire may be the way that God is made manifest in my life – if so, blessed be God! That doesn’t mean that my desire is good in itself, though.

Nor, I think, is lacking range of movement good in itself. Although, perhaps a better metaphor would be this: what if you were paralyzed, except for a bionic gun-arm that could only shoot people, not do anything good. Maybe that’s what other posters are saying that homosexuality is like.

I don’t agree with them, but I see their point.

Anyway, God bless you on your journey!