Cradle Catholic, considering leaving the Church

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Lots of replies…many good suggestions.

I see something else that stands out in your comments. That is, that you don’t feel at one with the “group” (of the majority of parishioners). Loneliness results. Not a good feeling when you are in a social group.

Observation: it might be that the “ultra orthodox Catholic” ethos that seems to pervade your parish is just a percentage if the congregation–maybe smaller than you think. They just happen to be the most outspoken, or active as far as events and get-togethers, so you feel thats all there is. There might be some others: single people, older people, young adults, etc., who are not wrapped up in these particular topics who might feel more like you. Can you find them?

If not, I’d say search for some other Catholic parishes in the area, even if you have to drive a half hour. You’ll find something that fullfills you.

Jumping ship is not the answer. Jesus built his church upon the Rock. Cling!
 
virgo said:
Hi everyone,

I’ve struggled with my faith over the years and am wondering where I belong. I am a 38 year old mother of two young sons, and I attend Mass at my local Catholic church. I am also a part of the mom’s group there. I’ve never considered leaving the Catholic church, even during the times that I questioned the divinity of Christ himself. It has always been home.

However, I’ve noticed that the Catholic church in my area of California has changed over the years. It has become more vocal in its right-wing conservatism, and most of the moms I know have 6, 7, 8, even 10 children!!! There is also a preoccupation with the topic of abortion–and while I agree that abortion is one of the world’s greatest evils, I wonder sometimes if we can’t also talk about other things. In essence, I feel that my Catholic community has become a place of politics, abortion activists, and mothers of huge families. I simply don’t recognize the church I grew up in, and I’m feeling out of place with my tiny family of 4, my middle-of-the-road politics, and my interest in issues other than abortion, such as social justice and Christ-centered spirituality.

So I guess my question is–do I stay and tough it out, or do I follow my curiosity into my local Lutheran or Episcopal church? 🤷
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You hit the nail on the head when you stated "…such as social justice and CHRIST CENTERED SPIRITUALITY. Human secularism had had its negative effects on Catholic education. When our education is not Christio-centric Satan moves in. The Popes have advised us, along with St.Paul that the knowedge of Christ is pre-eminent, Christ first in all thing. We were made for Him, through Him, and by Him. The knowledge of Christ makes all other things (old translation) as “dung” and you know what that is! This is why they emphasized the truth that we need “Evangelization” We can’t take the place of Our Savior, but we try accidentally.
 
Soler said:
Surely if you don’t like these people or they make you feel uncomfortable you can just avoid them? .
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Soler, like I said, it’s not that I don’t like these people. They’re great ladies and I admire their strong convictions. It’s just that I don’t feel that I belong, and my focus is on other aspects of my Catholic faith.

retire early, thank you for your loving response. Yes, it is lonely, and I think I will try and find other groups in order to connect with others on my path rather than keep going back to the mom’s group, which is essentially a very orthodox homeschooling clique! I’m definitely going to explore further afield, even if it involves a bit of a drive.
 
Yes, DaddyGirl, he did indeed make statements to that! Which was music to my ears! I would just like to see more balance in our faith. I’ve even switched from listening to Catholic radio (which is all-abortion-news-all-the-time) to the more general Christian KLOVE just to avoid constantly hearing about abortion. :rolleyes:
(as I notice the above pro-life ad above! jeepers!)
 
Do not, I repeat, Do not leave the Catholic Church! Ask God to help you increase your faith.

The next group meeting, I would stand up and say, “Hey moms, can we discuss the lives of the saints for the next few weeks? Does anyone have a suggestion of who we can start with?”

Perhaps the ones who want to talk politics can have the last 15 minutes of the gathering or stay afterwards.
 
virgo said:
po18guy and coach dennis, and others, thank you for your kind responses. I was prepared for the kind of responses I received at the beginning of this message thread ( more judgment, alas!), but I wanted to reach out anyway to see if any others have experienced this. I am already struggling with my faith, and the fact that I am not a mom-of-10-homeschooling-FoxNews-watcher doesn’t help the fact that I feel out of place. I really appreciate the advice on starting my own group, exploring other ministries, and exploring my own relationship with Christ. I just want to get back to the basics. Back to my one-on-one relationship with Christ, back to scripture, back to God’s presence in my life. I’ve been feeling like the particular subculture at my parish and other Catholic churches in my area is not reflective of the church I knew growing up, where one’s relationship with Christ was the foundation.
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I can fully understand where you are coming from, and I am not going to suggest that somehow you are lacking in your faith. I am an older woman and though I love children, am firmly against abortion, and actually belong to the local Right-to-Life, and am very conservative politically, if the only Catholic fellowship in my parish was what you describe, I do not think I could tolerate it. There is so much more to being Catholic, and so much more to explore and discuss. You just need to find people with like interests to yourself. These ladies have their interests which meet their needs, and that is great, but your spiritual needs are not being met.

Here is what I have done, maybe it will help you: Join a Bible Study–if not in your parish, find one in another parish. Also, a few friends and I have formed a Catholic book discussion/fellowship group which meets monthly at a local restaurant on Sat. mornings. I also belong to a Cursillo Group Reunion which meets every other week.

I have joined the Evangelization Commission at our parish and am on the RCIA team. All of these activities satisfy my need for fellowship, are learning and growth activities, help reinforce my faith, and also serve others.

It does not make one less than Catholic or a bad Catholic if they do not wish to spend all of their time discussing abortion, homeschooling, conservative politics, etc. Actually, what should make people identify you as a Catholic is your relationship with Jesus Christ, and how you live your life. All the rest is secondary. In the Scriptures the identifying factor, how people could tell who was Christian, was by their LOVE. It is not the ideal for someone to say “Oh, I know they are Catholic because of their views on abortion”. That is not what makes us Catholic. And I believe that is what Pope Francis is trying to get across to us. So do not feel bad about how you see things. If you cannot find fellowship in your parish, I would think about finding another parish, although I think that is a last resort. BTW, many of my friends are from different parishes in the area, and that is very enriching. Please do not leave the Church. The grass is not greener on the other side of the fence, and that I learned from experience.

The only other thing I would say is that you must be pro-active in developing spiritual friendships. Seek them out or start something yourself. Things are not going to just fall into you lap. God bless you.
 
virgo said:
Hi everyone,

I’ve struggled with my faith over the years and am wondering where I belong. I am a 38 year old mother of two young sons, and I attend Mass at my local Catholic church. I am also a part of the mom’s group there. I’ve never considered leaving the Catholic church, even during the times that I questioned the divinity of Christ himself. It has always been home.

However, I’ve noticed that the Catholic church in my area of California has changed over the years. It has become more vocal in its right-wing conservatism, and most of the moms I know have 6, 7, 8, even 10 children!!! There is also a preoccupation with the topic of abortion–and while I agree that abortion is one of the world’s greatest evils, I wonder sometimes if we can’t also talk about other things. In essence, I feel that my Catholic community has become a place of politics, abortion activists, and mothers of huge families. I simply don’t recognize the church I grew up in, and I’m feeling out of place with my tiny family of 4, my middle-of-the-road politics, and my interest in issues other than abortion, such as social justice and Christ-centered spirituality.

So I guess my question is–do I stay and tough it out, or do I follow my curiosity into my local Lutheran or Episcopal church? 🤷
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The Church is bigger than one parish, one issue or one set of political views. Some elements in the US Church appear to be as you describe. I suggest humbly that this is not the case everywhere, and I think our own Holy Father is proof of that.

Don’t give up the graces He bestows us through His sacraments. You are in the one Church where you can get all the sacraments licitly. If there are any monasteries in your area, check them out. You can certainly fulfill your Mass obligations there, and some (Benedictines in particular) offer Oblate programs that allow you a different way to get involved in the Church than in the parish. I know I’ve pretty much zoned out of parish life in my area… for different reasons mostly; indifferent liturgies, and lack of spiritual nourishment, things that I do find much more fulfilling as an oblate of a Benedictine community.

The Church is huge. You can find your place in it somewhere! Don’t despair!
 
virgo said:
In essence, I feel that my Catholic community has become a place of politics, abortion activists, and mothers of huge families. I simply don’t recognize the church I grew up in, and I’m feeling out of place with my tiny family of 4, my middle-of-the-road politics, and my interest in issues other than abortion, such as social justice and Christ-centered spirituality.

So I guess my question is–do I stay and tough it out, or do I follow my curiosity into my local Lutheran or Episcopal church? 🤷
Click to expand...
I’m the very same way. Politically, I’m Independent/Middle-of-the-road, and Christ-centered spirituality is of the highest importance. By the light of Christ, everything else falls into place.

While I believe all Christian denominations are fully blessed and fully recognized by the Father, since you are a cradle Catholic, it may be better to find another Catholic church to attend. I’ve gone to a few different protestant churches as a guest. I felt uncomfortable. I don’t mean to be harsh but I was kind of “freaked out”. Even the Lutheran Church, which I found similar to ours, was strange to me. It’s all in what you’re at home with, and nothing is more beautiful and home-based than the Catholic Mass.
 
I believe that this is an ideal place to restate what 2 Popes and St.Paul stated to the faithful.
Pope John Paul ll: the personal encounter with Christ is the ultimate influence for social land economic behavior.

Pope Paul V1: the encounter will not take place unless the Gospel is proclaimed by witness. Nevertheless this is always insufficient because the finest witness will prove ineffective if not explained and justified and made explicit by clear unequivocal proclamation of the Lord Jesus Christ by WORD. There is no evangelization if the Name, Teachings, Promises, the kingdom and the mystery of Jesus, the Son of God are not proclaimed.

St. Paul, the Apostle to the Gentiles (Phil;3:7-ll) I consider all as loss because of the supreme good of knowing Christ Jesus, My Lord. (Col l:l5-29)…He is before all things, He is the beginning, that in all things He Himself might be pre-eminent…in Him were created all things, for Him and through Him…

The very best we can do to bring people to Jesus, is to point to Him by witness, living a holy Christian life to the best of our abilities. All our efforts can not convert, that is left to God. Some think that good example and good works will do it, they won’t. Although they will point the way. It is by grace that we receive Faith in Jesus Christ, and nobody will take the credit by the Will of Our Father. The credit belongs to Jesus who is our only Savior.
 
Thank you, ynotzap, it is helpful to read your words and get grounded back into what really matters.

acadiANNA, CB Catholic, **OraLabora, **and Cozette, you are all so kind, and what you wrote makes so much sense. Thanks for understanding where I am coming from. I don’t mean to judge and I don’t want to be judged, I just want to feel at home in my parish. I really appreciate your words, and I am absolutely taking them to heart. I’m looking for a bible study group, as that is a wonderful idea and definitely a great way of getting the scripture knowledge that I seek. Thank you!!!
 
The Miraculous Medal, was one of Mother Teresa’s favorites.
Mother Teresa thought so highly of it and she gave many of them to others.

The mother of Jesus spoke to sister Catherine Laboure in 1830 with these words:
“Have a medal struck… All who wear it will receive GREAT graces; they should wear it
around the neck. GRACES will ABOUND for persons who wear it with CONFIDENCE.”

Later Mary said, “… it must be given to the whole world and to every person.”

During this apparition, Mary’s hands had 3 rings on each finger. Each ring gave off
rays of colored light. A few rings did not. Mary said that the lights radiating from
the rings are graces that people ASK for. The rings that didn’t radiate light she said
were graces not given because they were NOT asked for.

Have it blessed. Wear the medal in her honor at all times. Just say,
“Mary, thank you for your gift to me, please help me now with those great graces you promised to obtain for those who ask.” Say this often.

She promised and she is immaculate so she will keep her words, “GRACES will ABOUND for persons who wear it with CONFIDENCE.”

“The devotions we practice in honor of the glorious Virgin Mary, however trifling they be,
are very pleasing to her divine Son, …” St. Teresa of Jesus

The medal is called Miraculous, and the picture on it is “Our Lady of Grace”.

“Great graces are often attached to what seems trifling.” St. Margaret Mary Alacoque

You may obtain a free one by googling “miraculous medal”.
Code: 
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May God our Father give you grace and peace.
 
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