Cranky Priest Problem

[Captain_America]

I go to a parish in which parishioner involvement is pretty much dead and the priest is glad with this. He’s a dour guy. I avoid talking to him, so he doesn’t really know me well at all.

But I would like a more active parish life. He tends to write off such people, and I think this is because he’s had plenty of people in the past come to him, hot with an idea, but cool off and leave a program, etc., in a mess. So he really wants nothing. He just sucks the air out of the situation.

Any suggestion here? I’m thinking of switching parishes.

 

[nickybr38]

Poor guy is probably very disillusioned and tired of dealing with luke warm helpers. When people start a project and drop it, that leaves a heavy burden on everyone who has to pick up the slack.

I’d start small. Push to help but in little ways. Prove your worth. Show him that you mean business and you aren’t just going to disappear.

I wouldn’t leave the parish. That’s silly. You don’t abandon your family when things get tough and you shouldn’t abandon your parish just because your priest is grumpy and dour.

 

[Tingo]

So what have you done to improve parish life?

 

[po18guy]

Pray for him. Pray for vocations.

 

[coachdennis]

I can only comment on my own experience as a person who has worked with volunteers both in the parish and in local charities.

Working with volunteers can be the most rewarding of experiences and also the most frustrating. The problem is that they are volunteers and despite all the talk about commitment, people and come and go as they wish. I truly believe most people are sincere when they step forward to volunteer but really don’t have any realistic idea of what that commitment entails.

Just some examples:

• Someone volunteers to teach religious education. The hour in the classroom is small compared to the preparation, prayer, and self-education that goes into being effective in that one hour class – even if it just first graders.

• People sign up to serve coffee at a church picnic. Well, there are people who set up the tables, bought the food, cooked the food, and will stay long after the coffee server has left to clean up.

• Someone sits on a pastoral council, attends the meeting but does not want to attend any of the sub-committees.

• Someone wants to volunteer at a local food pantry but the times they said they could be there never seem “to work out for them” and can’t make any accomodations.

I will be the first to say that volunteers should be told the full level of the commitment they are making, but quite frankly, there are some people who like the title, but are not willing to do the work. Yes, life happen but there are individuals who are ALWAYS in a life/family crisis that will prevent them from showing up or worse, never call ahead that they are not showing up. But they still want to do something!!!

There is an old saying that “talk is cheap!” Also, I think if you look at the people who attend weekend liturgies and the percentage of those who volunteer is probably small.

Now with your priest and parish I have no idea. If he is an older priest, he has probably heard all the “promises” made in the past and has been left holding the bag one too many times. If he is the only priest, he may feel overwhelmed and suffering from depression. Or, he may be just cranky.

He may need people to show him that they can volunteer and actually follow through. He also has a responsibility to allow people to show they can follow through on their offers to volunteer. However, once burnt, twice shy.

If he is totally unreceptive, then you need to discern where best to have your needs met

 

[Captain_America]

Thanks for the advice to start small. That works.

I’ve done a great deal with civic efforts. Within the parish, a Christmas night and some help with a Bible study program, along with a local religious discussion group.

I just think I should write this guy off.

I’m interested in hearing from priests, if any read this. I’ll tell you, a grumpy priest is THE world’s biggest turnoff from Catholicism.

 

[Joannm]

There are some priests who just don’t make good pastors. That is why term limits are a great idea. I have seen pastors almost completely destroy a parish because of attitudes towards laity involved in ministry. When they leave it is up to the next pastor to “rebuild” the parish so to speak. I know a number of pastors in that situation right now. They are working to bring people back who left because of a poor pastor who was previously there.

 

[Patrick1540]

Thanks for the advice to start small. That works.

I’ve done a great deal with civic efforts. Within the parish, a Christmas night and some help with a Bible study program, along with a local religious discussion group.

I just think I should write this guy off.

I’m interested in hearing from priests, if any read this. I’ll tell you, a grumpy priest is THE world’s biggest turnoff from Catholicism.

I would pray for him,even if you find another parish.We don’t always know what is going on in some ones life,even priest.I’m in a parish now were people told me that the priest was not a people person. I found him very people person,when I met him. Priest have a lot of pressure we don’t see and have a personal life of family members. I’m not making excuses for your priest, but once again I would hold him up in a lot of prayer, before you go to another parish.It is not like the old days when the Church was over flowing with priest, especially from Ireland. I know my priest has to cover 3 parishes, that has got to be stressful.Most parishes are lucky to have one or two priest. Prayer is always good.Ask him if he is ok and anything you can pray for him about.See if that makes a difference. Most people come to priest with problems, very few check on them,and see how they are holding up.
God Bless

 

[Richard320]

I would pray for him,even if you find another parish.We don’t always know what is going on in some ones life,even priest.I’m in a parish now were people told me that the priest was not a people person. I found him very people person,when I met him. Priest have a lot of pressure we don’t see and have a personal life of family members. I’m not making excuses for your priest, but once again I would hold him up in a lot of prayer, before you go to another parish.It is not like the old days when the Church was over flowing with priest, especially from Ireland. I know my priest has to cover 3 parishes, that has got to be stressful.Most parishes are lucky to have one or two priest. Prayer is always good.Ask him if he is ok and anything you can pray for him about.See if that makes a difference. Most people come to priest with problems, very few check on them,and see how they are holding up.
God Bless