Cremation and Mitigating Burial Costs

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In the last month I have read one story about a lady who had to flee the California wildfires and on top of having lost almost everything she owned, is also coping with the fact that she forgot or didn’t have time to grab her dead brother’s ashes which are now gone along with all her other things. And another family I know, of which the father passed away and his cremains are being kept at home, was recently almost hit by a tornado while the mom was at work and she was talking about having to call her kids and tell them to “grab your dad” as they fled to the basement.

I’m much more relieved knowing my loved ones’ remains are safely and permanently interred and I don’t have to worry about them.
 
Yes. Cremating after you still have to buy (or rent-yes really. They use a disposable liner) a casket, embalm the person and transport them.

It will save some on opening or closing of the grave.
 
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There is nothing that prohibits a Catholic from being buried in an Anglican cemetery or a secular cemetery or a private cemetery (not sure if those exist in the UK, they are pretty common in the US).
 
Well, I am the sort who does not give any thought to a headstone. I don’t need anything, I hope that by the time I pass there will be access to a natural cemetery in the area where I can be wrapped in a shroud and placed in the earth. If not, I will be cremated and ask to be interred in the least expensive place available.
 
I’ve been making monthly payments on my $5000 plot in a Catholic cemetery. Since supposedly it was the last plot being sold by the diocese, I shouldn’t have much trouble getting my money back, should I move. Maybe l’ll even resell it for more. Why not? It’s just real estate.
 
I am hoping to buy my grave within the next couple years because I want to be able to see where I’ll be and get used to it before the time comes. I’m planning to be in the same cemetery with my parents, but possibly across the street as a little distance improved our relationship.

As for the headstone, the cemetery where the folks are is notoriously un-fun about what they permit (although someone is managing to regularly decorate a tree by my parents’ grave with sports ornaments and get away with it) but if I wanted to be interred at the fun cemetery next to Alan Freed’s memorial granite jukebox, I’d be way over on the East Side of town and we’ve always been West Siders so I will just have to find the most entertaining Bible verse I can. I don’t think they can argue with something from scripture.
 
TheLittleLady said:
My husband 's cremains will not be interred until sometime next year, again, due to travel arrangements back to his home town.
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Will they be interred in a columbarium niche? If so, do you plan to have a priest come or just placed in a niche?
 
TheLittleLady said:
A funeral mass with cremains is pretty much the regular process these days.
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Why do think this is the case? Is this because it is considerably cheaper to cremate BEFORE the Funeral Liturgy? Again, direct cremation is $1000 vs. $4500 if I go through a funeral home and have the body present and have the cremation AFTER the Liturgy. Is this just the nature of the beast? It seems like there is always a expense “premium” for attempting to meet the Catholic ideal even when it comes to cremation.
 
ChurchSoldier said:
Yes. Cremating after you still have to buy (or rent-yes really. They use a disposable liner) a casket, embalm the person and transport them.

It will save some on opening or closing of the grave.
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Thank your for your feedback. On a similar note, the local Catholic Cemetery wants $775 to open and close a niche. There is really no labor involved in just opening and closing a niche. This is the type of high unnecessary expenses that should not be charged in my opinion. It seems like the corporate act of mercy of burying the dead does not seem to apply to the Catholic Cemeteries in reducing fees that could easily be discounted like opening and closing a niche.
 
catholic47 said:
Is this because it is considerably cheaper to cremate BEFORE the Funeral Liturgy? Again, direct cremation is $1000 vs. $4500 if I go through a funeral home and have the body present and have the cremation AFTER the Liturgy. Is this just the nature of the beast? I
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I think many people are not educated about the funeral laws and processes. They do not realize that in most states cremation is not required for a viewing (in my state, the viewing with unembalmed must be done at the funeral home as a “private viewing”).

Learning about the funeral laws in your state is so important. Talking to your loved ones way before the need arises is another thing.

For us, even if the expense was not a factor, we would still have done direct cremation and Mass after cremation.
 
A three foot tall headstone! That would be quite over the top IMHO
 
What is the round thing in the upper right hand? Does that hold flowers or flame?
 
I’m going to have to check, but I don’t remember a charge like this when my mother’s ashes were interred. Maybe it varies by location.
 
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Oh goodness, you should see the Greek Orthodox cemetery near me. Some of the stones are more like monuments! They’re really beautiful, but they are huge!
 
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I wish that funerals were not so expensive, because I’m not very enthusiastic about the newfound popularity of cremation.

When my brother died at a young age my mother spent hours just sitting in the funeral home with his body in the viewing room. It was a way of saying a final goodbye, just as it was for the family and relatives who visited.

When my wife died I sat with her in a room at the hospital, and later at the rosary and the funeral Mass many people visited. It would not have been the same with only an urn.

I usually go to visit cemeteries every Memorial Day, standing at the various gravesites for prayer. I knew a woman who, after her husand died unexpectedly, went to the cemetery daily to stand at his grave and just talk about her concerns.

But everything about a funeral is expensive. The local Catholic diocese will help pre-arrange funerals and arrange for pre-payment well in advance. They will give itemized cost comparisons for a variety of funeral homes. They will also supply wooden Trappist caskets which are less expensive than the ornate metal ones.

One Catholic cemetery I know of has available what is called “natural burial,” with no casket needed. The deceased can be buried simply wrapped in a shroud. There are not individual monuments but rather the names are inscribed in a common monument wall.
 
Have Masses said right away. You don’t need the remains to have Masses said. The soul of the deceased may be in Purgatory and needs prayers.
 
That’s the kind of burial I would like. I have to find out where to go. Being buried in a shroud with no casket and no embalming is a good thing and I wish they were more prevalent.
 
JimG said:
I wish that funerals were not so expensive, because I’m not very enthusiastic about the newfound popularity of cremation.

When my brother died at a young age my mother spent hours just sitting in the funeral home with his body in the viewing room. It was a way of saying a final goodbye, just as it was for the family and relatives who visited.

When my wife died I sat with her in a room at the hospital, and later at the rosary and the funeral Mass many people visited. It would not have been the same with only an urn.

I usually go to visit cemeteries every Memorial Day, standing at the various gravesites for prayer. I knew a woman who, after her husand died unexpectedly, went to the cemetery daily to stand at his grave and just talk about her concerns.
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I’m not crazy about cremation either, but all these things are still possible. After they disconnected my mother from all the machines and tubes, I lied down in the bed with her. We sat with her at the funeral home and her body was present at the Church. I visit the cemetery where she is interred weekly, and talk to her.
 
I go to a lot of cemeteries including many where I don’t even have a loved one buried there, just to pray for the deceased, especially the first week of November for the indulgences. I really wish I knew where my ex-best friend from high school is, but I suspect she may have been cremated and scattered or kept. I am also pretty sure that’s what happened to a man I dated seriously in my youth who is now deceased. It is sad that I do not have a place to go and talk to these people as when they died on earth we were estranged but we were very close decades ago and I miss them. I often talk to them from where i’m at and I know that when a person dies they aren’t “in” the grave, but it is still difficult.

I know where my ex-best friend’s mom is buried (I knew her well and she came to my father’s wake though her daughter didn’t) and I will probably go visit her grave as it’s the closest I can get to “visiting the family”. All three members of that family are dead and the house they lived in when I was friends with them has been demolished, leaving only an empty lot. It’s like they never existed and that makes me sad sometimes.
 
I am not happy about the expenses of funerals et al.

I joke with my bride that when the time comes she should take the insurance money and buy a dishwasher (because she will need one), then fold me into the crate it came in and put me out on the curb on trash day.

In more seriousness, I do like the idea of cremation, if only to condense the cremains – I don’t feel the need to occupy an 8 ft x 2-1/2 ft plot of land for the rest of my …um… death. In any case, she’s not to spend a penny more on my arrangements than I would spend myself (and she knows how tight I am!)

💀 Memento Mori
 
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