Crossing Parish Lines

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phil19034 said:
When I was a kid, my school district was split between two parishes
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I lived less than a 100 yards from the border of the parish- and that was the same here. The public school’s attendance area extended over two parishes. Further, more than half the Catholic kids attended one of the two parish schools- although I was a public school kid.

I didn’t really find it to be a problem, personally. Of course, I was born in 1956, and there were a lot of kids around in the 1960’s. My public alma mater and both parochial schools are still in existence but with only a small fraction of the kids they had back in the day- in spite of larger attendance areas.
 
Augustinian said:
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phil19034:
When I was a kid, my school district was split between two parishes
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I lived less than a 100 yards from the border of the parish- and that was the same here. The public school’s attendance area extended over two parishes. Further, more than half the Catholic kids attended one of the two parish schools- although I was a public school kid.

I didn’t really find it to be a problem, personally. Of course, I was born in 1956, and there were a lot of kids around in the 1960’s. My public alma mater and both parochial schools are still in existence but with only a small fraction of the kids they had back in the day- in spite of larger attendance areas.
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Yeah, it was quite different for me. I was born in 1977, all the kids in CCD were public school kids (the Catholic School kids did as part of their religion classes). Also all the kids I knew from CCD were from other school districts, and except for 1st grade and 9th grade, I really didn’t have friends at my parish (just acquaintances).
 
I probably shouldn’t put in my two cents, but here they are.

I see both sides of the issue. I can see how quickly a popularity contest can develop between parishes, resulting in too much work for one set of priests and empty pews for the other set. I’m sorry for priests like Fr. David, who find themselves bombarded at all hours, and for those who saw their churches close. I also understand that Canon laws exist for a reason, and ought to be respected. Some people really do parish hop for the most frivolous reasons.

On the other hand, I can understand where some people are coming from, especially parents who just want the best for their kids, like Cecilia_Dympna. My parents were registered at two parishes for about ten years, because the Catholic school run by our parish didn’t have enough openings for all the students who applied. They could only get me into the other parish’s school, and to afford the tuition they needed the lower price given to parishioners. We attended masses at both, gave what we could to both, and my brother was an altar server for our school parish while I sang for our original parish. I guess we were lucky; no one ever questioned us and we had no problems receiving the sacraments.

Today, I’m registered at the original parish. I don’t know if it’s my territorial parish: before reading this thread, I thought the closest parish would automatically be the territorial parish. This one is 5 minutes away; the other 10 minutes away. My diocese has no map or online listing that I can find.

However, if I find out I’m in the wrong parish despite its closer proximity, I can’t say I would switch parishes. This parish is my family. We all look after each other. You know, one morning before Mass, one of the priests approached me and asked if I was discerning a religious vocation. He freely offered himself as someone I could go to for help. He made time for my questions. He got me in touch with the vocation director of a convent I like. I didn’t ask for any of this; he simply chose to take it on. This is just one example - of many - of what generosity is present in my parish. And I’m sorry if this offends anyone, but it would take more than a territorial line to make me walk away from that support.
 
philhttps://forums.catholic-questions.org/u/TheLittleLady19034 said:
Because there is nothing preventing you from signing up at multiple parishes and receiving envelopes at multiple parishes at the same time.

Envelopes are about tax deductions, not “parish membership.”
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True that. I first became aware of that when a man new to our parish requested envelopes. His donations used to be generous but sporadic. I came to find out that he was a pharmacist who only visited our parish when he was replacing one of the pharmacists in our town. He made his living as a replacement pharmacist so I suspect that besides us and his home parish he had likely requested envelopes from every parish where he knew he would be attending Mass. That allowed him to get receipts from all of them.
 
Parishes do close and die too. Where I am there are two churches, they used to be separate parishes. They are not now, and Sunday Mass is only held at one. When the churches were first built, more people lived out here than do now.

Sometimes people have reasons. As a night shift worker, Mass is often catch as catch can, especially if I want to be awake for it. Early-morning Sunday mass is appreciated because I can get off work, go to Mass, go home, and go to sleep. Staying up extra on Sunday morning doesn’t exactly lend itself to attentiveness at Mass.
 
I can also see why an obviously dying parish doesn’t appeal, we are a tribal species and are going to be more attracted to something thriving that looks like it will last. The only way a parish in that condition could revive would be through large numbers of Catholics of all ages moving in to town over a short period.
 
Cecilia_Dympna said:
I find this a little offensive.

I will not attend what is essentially a dead parish because of a postcode. I’ve no idea why some of you are fixated on this.

I know my son will have no problems for his first HC and confirmation, and our family weddings and funerals (I checked today).
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Cecilia_Dympna said:
Okay. You’re right and I’m wrong.

This Sunday I’ll rise at dawn for Mass. Sit with a dozen nonagerians. Get told off by the parish sister because my son dared to breathe. Debate with self whether I should check the 98 year old priest for signs of life. Go home. Wonder if it’s too early to crack open the gin.

Brilliant idea. Who needed all that spiritual growth we were getting anyway.
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Cecilia_Dympna said:
None of these things have ever been an issue. Even the home visit issue.

There is no children’s liturgy at the dying parish. There are no children.
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I am very glad to read that the parish priest where you are attending has been able to reassure you. And that you have been embraced there.

It sounds like an untenable situation for you, given the utter mismatch of your needs and what little can be provided by the nonogenarians.

Over my years as a priest, I have had parishioners who had to go elsewhere because of specific needs that my parish could not meet – I have had others who came to me because of circumstances that made where I was best suited their needs.
 
Cecilia_Dympna said:
And nothing that you typed will make me go back.
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The important thing is that an accommodation has been arrived at by the priest there where you are, in a place that is able to provide with pastoral care. That is the priest that matters. What persons on another continent think is immaterial.
 
Don_Ruggero said:
Over my years as a priest, I have had parishioners who had to go elsewhere because of specific needs that my parish could not meet – I have had others who came to me because of circumstances that made where I was best suited their needs.
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That had been my situation for a while, until I moved away. 9AM as the earliest Mass for a night shift worker is difficult, if I am not to be nodding off during the service. But I could stop after work for a Mass closer to my workplace, at 7:30 instead. I understand many shift workers do the same, attending at whatever parish offers a service that comports with their schedule.

I did try to keep my local pastor appraised of the situation, however.
 
It’s a habit my priests for RCIA instilled - they liked to keep track of new converts for a time, to see how many persisted in the faith.
 
This isn’t Louisiana… Not everyone has this French view of what parish means.
 
I will restate using an example where I live, changing the names. Two cities exist side by side, Smithville and Jonestown. Part of the zip code from one extends into the other. Part of the phone prefix from one extends into the other elsewhere. Together, they comprise what is called Lakeport. Their shared High School is called Lakeport High; the paper, The Lakeport Times. There are two parishes, based on city boundaries. About twenty percent of the citizens of Smithville live closer to Jonestown and do most of their shopping there. The sense of community is that of being part of Laketown.

Now, this is a true scenario, with only the names being fictional. In such a case, the argument about the importance of associated with the parish of one’s community is simply invalid, as “community” is randomly and incorrectly assigned from a diocesan office who is oblivious to what the community really is.

I understand the other reasons for supporting and attending one geographical parish, but I also believe this practice will soon prove to be archaic for most situations. Society has change so much since the feudal times, and the pioneer days.

As there is no map available for me to see, I may be right by attending the closest parish, the one with the same phone extension, but in another city, or not. I have no easy way of knowing. I probably am, if the current boundary was last drawn twenty years ago. and not if it was drawn since then.
 
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pnewton said:
I will restate using an example where I live, changing the names. Two cities exist side by side, Smithville and Jonestown. Part of the zip code from one extends into the other. Part of the phone prefix from one extends into the other elsewhere. Together, they comprise what is called Lakeport. Their shared High School is called Lakeport High; the paper, The Lakeport Times. There are two parishes, based on city boundaries. About twenty percent of the citizens of Smithville live closer to Jonestown and do most of their shopping there. The sense of community is that of being part of Laketown.

Now, this is a true scenario, with only the names being fictional. In such a case, the argument about the importance of associated with the parish of one’s community is simply invalid, as “community” is randomly and incorrectly assigned from a diocesan office who is oblivious to what the community really is.
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Thanks!

this was how it was where I grew up.

My school district was made up of 3 major towns, plus 2 small ones and a number of unincorporated communities.

My school district was split between my parish and the parish south of it by a state highway, which was Main Street in two of the major towns in the School District.

While each of the three major towns had their own zip codes and telephone exchanges, two shared one Little League and all three played Baseball together for Senior League (13-15 year olds).

The community was (and still is) very much united by their loyalty to the high school, middle school and district in general.

It would have been FAR better for the diocese to keep the entire school district together in one parish, vs splitting it using a state highway that is literally named Main Street in two of the towns.

I said before, I only went to CCD with two kids from my school district. One switched parishes to the other parish after 1st grade because his older brothers were in middle school and high school, and his parents thought it made sense to attend Mass with kids his older brothers went to school with.

The other was in 9th grade only, but he was originally from the city where our parish church was located, so he already knew a lot of kids, having gone to school with them in grades K-8.

So yes, I agree that there are a number of parish boundaries that are not drawn to maximize community
 
This is something I never thought about (was a homeschooled Protestant kid 🙂 ). Knowing other Catholic kids, other Catholic families is very important for kids.

When they feel they are the only Catholic, when even their parent’s friends are non-Catholic, kids see Catholic as something out of the ordinary. If you grow up and the people who come to the BBQs or go on vacations with your family are also Catholic, the kid sees it as normal.

Often the people that kids look up to the most are mom and dad’s friends or the parents of your own playmates. They are cooler, smarter, more interesting, girls see the other moms as more fashionable, boys see the other dads as stronger or more adept.

In order for kids to be raised around other Catholics, going to school with the people from your parish is going to be important because that is where many social ties are born.

Good food for thought!
 
Donations over a specific amount, made by a parishioner, a visitor, a guy just walking by, should be recorded and tracked in order to provide a tax statement. That process has nothing to do with parish membership, it is simply operating procedures for a charitable agency.
 
The post Easter Vigil dropout rate is so very high, that is another thread and discussion that should be happening. Many, I daresay most, parishes simply don’t do a good job of retention.
 
TheLittleLady said:
When they feel they are the only Catholic, when even their parent’s friends are non-Catholic, kids see Catholic as something out of the ordinary.
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That was never a factor in my location here in Pittsburgh. The neighborhood was majority Catholic, even in the public school system- which was referred colloquially to as the “Protestant” schools. The largest minority were the Scots Irish presbyterians who had the only other church in the neighborhood.
 
None of the few kids from my Parish are practicing Catholics anymore… Sadly, most everyone left after Confirmation. :confused:
 
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