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Xantippe
Guest
“On the other hand, as I have been in school for a really long time, I am just sort of burned out and want to take some time to get my self back together and do some traveling. Also, many of the jobs that I am interesting in pursing are not located in the city in which I live. Additionally, I have always dreamed of moving somewhere different as I have always lived where I am currently located and it is just one of those things that I know I would regret later in my life if I didn’t do it. Another thing is that I want to “establish myself” financially before I think about having kids (building up some savings, get some equity in a house, etc…)”
Doing all of those things is a 5-10 year plan. Also, the future that your GF wants is not the one that you want. You are seeing marriage to her and having children as being the last thing you do, after you do all of the stuff you actually want to do. If that’s how you feel, set her free. She deserves to be a higher priority to her future husband.
My husband and I got married pretty fast in my early 20s, but after I had already had the chance to live abroad for over two years. (We did manage a pretty cool month-long trip to Germany, Austria and Poland as a sort of combined family visit/business trip/pilgrimage/belated honeymoon, which is more than most people ever get to do.) I wish we’d been able to travel a bit more together overseas (I’ve never seen Paris), but at first we didn’t have the money and then we started having our kids. I think there will be opportunities in the future, though, but that’s partly because we have various family connections in Europe and my husband may well wind up working in Europe at some point.
We started having our kids in my later 20s when my husband got his first real job and have three kids now. We were married 15 years before we were finally able to afford our first home. It didn’t hurt our kids. Babies don’t know they’re living in a rental. There were some financial mistakes along the way, but nothing irreparable (thanks, Dave Ramsey!). Aside from the question of who to marry, I really have to caution you against the idea of getting this bee-yoo-tiful house, fixing it up really pretty, and then having kids. Having welcomed my first child 11 years ago, I can tell you that that is a HUGE mistake. Kids break things and wreck things and it’s better to wait on getting expensive nice stuff until they’re bigger and more responsible. Get cheap nice stuff. It’s also a good idea to rent a house before buying one, as it’s very educational as to the expenses and responsibilities of home ownership. Also, it’s very unlikely that as a young homebuyer that you will have a strong idea of the market in your area. It’s really easy to make expensive mistakes as to location and school districts. Go slow.
Good luck!
Doing all of those things is a 5-10 year plan. Also, the future that your GF wants is not the one that you want. You are seeing marriage to her and having children as being the last thing you do, after you do all of the stuff you actually want to do. If that’s how you feel, set her free. She deserves to be a higher priority to her future husband.
My husband and I got married pretty fast in my early 20s, but after I had already had the chance to live abroad for over two years. (We did manage a pretty cool month-long trip to Germany, Austria and Poland as a sort of combined family visit/business trip/pilgrimage/belated honeymoon, which is more than most people ever get to do.) I wish we’d been able to travel a bit more together overseas (I’ve never seen Paris), but at first we didn’t have the money and then we started having our kids. I think there will be opportunities in the future, though, but that’s partly because we have various family connections in Europe and my husband may well wind up working in Europe at some point.
We started having our kids in my later 20s when my husband got his first real job and have three kids now. We were married 15 years before we were finally able to afford our first home. It didn’t hurt our kids. Babies don’t know they’re living in a rental. There were some financial mistakes along the way, but nothing irreparable (thanks, Dave Ramsey!). Aside from the question of who to marry, I really have to caution you against the idea of getting this bee-yoo-tiful house, fixing it up really pretty, and then having kids. Having welcomed my first child 11 years ago, I can tell you that that is a HUGE mistake. Kids break things and wreck things and it’s better to wait on getting expensive nice stuff until they’re bigger and more responsible. Get cheap nice stuff. It’s also a good idea to rent a house before buying one, as it’s very educational as to the expenses and responsibilities of home ownership. Also, it’s very unlikely that as a young homebuyer that you will have a strong idea of the market in your area. It’s really easy to make expensive mistakes as to location and school districts. Go slow.
Good luck!