Crying as I type this

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AppleCrisp2008 said:
Why did I ever get involved with this stuff?
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Because someone told you it was perfectly healthy, right? That stupid little voice you hear whispering in your ear, you have to do your best to cast it away.

Apple, I am a young man. I am in your situation, 23 yrs old and i have been with the best woman in the world for 2 years. I will marry her, just saving up for the ring :S lol.

Don’t lie, that is the first that has to stop. Stop lying to yourself, and to your gf. Bringing this problem to light is the best thing you can do. If you don’t, it will be your demon in the closet always poking you, but if you bring it out into the light it will help to kill it. So, always be totally honest with her. Never feel ashamed of yourself, because you have changed now. You are with the Lord now, and God is with you.

Second, you have to cleanse your computer. Why do you still have zip files? Get rid of them. Permanently. Get rid of any hard copies. Magazines, in fact rip them up into millions of little pieces. Videos, burn them. Get rid of it! All adult sites have the capability of totally removing your account so you can never go back without signing up again. Do it. Burn all that junk. Then, burn the ashes.

Third, your GF has to help you. You have to talk to her, ask her to help you, to be with you as much as possible (if your with someone you cant be doing THAT), and most importantly to pray for you. You WILL NOT be able to do this on your own. You need the help of our Lord, Jesus Christ. The best advice my woman gave me is that you can’t stop doing something you’ve been doing for 8 years just like that.

Fourth, realize you are ONLY HUMAN. Every man who has walked the earth has at one time had to temptations you have. Denying your very humanity will only make you sin more, not less. Realize that it is normal to be tempted, and ask the Lord to help you. If you fall, go to confession RIGHT AWAY. Don’t let the devil beat you around.

The porn has to stop. This is not so bad, this can be done easily. Pray to Jesus, and clean up your workstation and area. The masturbation is something that is much harder, and a much longer road. You are talking about developing the virtue of chastity, and it takes a while and LOTS of confession to nurture it. Once you’ve cleaned up the porn you can start cleaning up your brain. You’ve got 8-10 years of junk that you stored up there that the tempter can pull up at will. You have to cleanse that.

Seriously my friend, confession confession confession. It will become your best friend and it is the only way. Confession ASAP, and eucharist (after confession of course). This might sound stupid, but my period of battling sin was very instructive. I came to learn the miracles of Jesus’ mercy, and how much he truly loves me.

It’s been 4 months now for me, I don’t consider it a problem anymore. I stopped counting the days, counting only helps me to focus on the act more. These days its simple: I sin, i go to confession, and then i keep on loving Jesus.

Please, please PM me when you are feeling down. I was in your shoes.

-revelations
 
I am praying for you as well. I know how addictive that can be to some men. But dont beat yourself up over it. Just realize that tomorrow is another day. Or … If you really want to do something to help yourself. Get yourself a lot of pictures of Jesus and put them all over your house and then when you get the urge to do that. Say No way!! Jesus is my company, and is watching me and I wont do that in front of him!!. You’ll be fine really. My prayers are for you and I am here if you need to talk.

Our Father, who art in heaven, hallowed be Thy name.
Thy kingdom come, Thy will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil.
Amen.

Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed art thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners, now and at the hour of our death.
Amen
 
AppleCrisp2008 said:
God forgives, but people don’t. I just called her and she picked up the phone. She thinks I am lying to her again. I don’t know what to do.
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Try to be calm. Perhaps this is NOT the girl for you. You seem to have an addiction. Prayer is wonderful and needed but you need to address this addiction. There are reasons why you turn to chronic masturbation as if it were a magic pill or a drink of alcohol. We need professional help and possibly a 12 step program to change. I believe 12 step programs are God’s answer to addiction problems. They teach us to be spiritual. I’ll bet 95% of everyone one reads this post has their own definition of spirituality. Mostly spirituality has to do with honesty. But none the less, you seem to be preoccupied with having this female in your life. When you are willing to put as much energy into recovery from your addiction you will start to get better. I have offered treatment in my practice to many addicts. I have heard others say, “How can you tell if an addict is lying?” “Are his lips moving?” This may sound judgemental but perhaps your lady friend knows you better than you think. A couple of words of advice. Do not beat yourself up emotionally after you commit this sin. The devil doesn’t want to to overcome this habit, and feeling bad for a while may be a way to justify this action again. Secondly, get some professional help, or join a 12 step program such as S&LA. Keep praying but open confession to the rest of the world is NOT necessary for God’s forgiveness. You may also have some boundry issues. Finding a spiritual director or a sponsor can make all the difference. And know that there are many others who have read your post who also have similar addictions and shortcomings. Most importantly know that through Christ and proper treatment. You can overcome this problem - One Day At A Time.
 
Will be keeping you in prayer…May The Lord strengthen you and His Mercy is every present for all who would ask of it…be assured you are in the ranks of sinners, only the type of sin may vary…we are all sinners…
I will be praying especially for you and your girlfriend that you will be able to sort it all out together…
 
It is very hard to break this habit, but do not be too hard on yourself as well–trust God that He understands you and forgives you, that even if you fall He will help you get back up. Move on with your life–do not let it tie you down too much. God is merciful, now and always.
 
First, remove the triggers of sin. Understand that to keep a zip file or any other link to, or association with porn is a “near occasion of sin” This phrase simply means things that lead you to sin (triggers). First you have to cut all ties to those physical things. Get rid of the zip files, thumb drives, CDs, software, games, movies, magazines, posters, anything that is even provocative. Stop seeing PG+ (even some G!) movies, Stop watching sex-soaked commercial and cable TV. Put down the newspaper and all publications that are saturated with temptation. This all sounds harsh, but eternity in hell is much harsher!

You are in a state of spiritual warfare, and must fight back. You need shock treatment. A total lifestyle change is one way of beginning over. You will still be tempted, as the evil one knows your weakness and will send them to you. He will not send you drug dealers, bank robbers or car thieves, since they are not your “hot button” He will send an unrelenting barrage of temptations to sexual impurity. Train yourself to resist. Develop a habit of recognizing sin and turning from it. Subscribe to EWTN, so that watching the tube becomes spiritual instead of sexual. Read scripture daily. Subscribe to This Rock, Envoy, First Things and/or other holy publications that lead you toward God instead of away from Him.

Pray for strength. All day, every day, and it will be given you. Ask for the intercession of Saint Michael the Archangel, as he fights for and strengthens many of us against sin. You WILL WIN, since the Lord has millions of ways to defeat the evil one.

Merciful and loving Father, we beseech Your Mercy upon AppleCrisp2008 in his struggle against the evil one. Send spiritual allies to defend him and graciously hear the prayers of the faithful, as we are engaged in a battle for his very soul! Grant him an ability to turn from sin, in all of its guises, and to embrace all that he knows to be true and Good. May our prayers surround him with a defense against the intrusion of evil while You bless him with increasing strength to turn toward you and away from the evil one. Lord, hear the intercession of Christ Jesus, Who sits at Your Right Hand, on behalf of this precious soul. May the prayers of the faithful be combined with those of the Angels and Saints to ensure victory in this battle against evil. We ask this through the same Christ Jesus, our Risen Lord and Savior. Amen! Alleluia!
 
This is a very addictive kind of sin and you will need to put some heavy duty measures in place.
Put a beautiful holy picture as the desktop/ screensaver of your computer. One of Our blessed mother. It will be hard to think of looking at naked women when you have her looking at you.
Say the rosary every day. The Rosary is our most powerful weapon against sin.
Compile a book of some beautiful and powerful prayers and say them everyday.
Have holy pictures and statues everywhere in your house.
Get your house blessed and keep holy water around.
Get some help from a good priest and go to confession weekly.
Tell this priest what you are going through and ask him to help you and monitor your progress.
Rememeber, this is spirtual warfare and you need to fight it with spiritual weapons,
Daily mass, prayer, wear a scapular. Don’t give up…TRUST in God and NOT yourself.
If you put your trust in God to overcome and are determined to beat this, YOU WILL.
He will NEVER let you down.
At least you recognise it is wrong and want to beat it. That is a very good start.
And in times of temptation, pray the Memorare. IT is a very powerful prayer in times of desperate need,
I will pray for you, God bless

Remember O most gracious Virgin Mary, that never was it known that anyone who fled to thy protection, implored thy help or sought thy intercession was left unaided. Inspired by this confidence I fly unto thee, O Virgin of virgins, my Mother, to thee I come, before thee I stand, sinful and sorrowful. O Mother of the Word Incarnate! Despise not my petitions, but in thy mercy, hear and answer me. Amen
 
Hi there,

I just want to mention three things,

I understand that you know what you are doing is hurting both yourself and your girlfriend, that is why you feel so bad about it but maybe try to look at it this way, everytime you do these actions, you are cheating not only your girlfriend but the opportunity for her to fulfill you in that way, meaning she has not been given that opportunity. Allow her to do so, she loves you. Jesus said that when we look at another lustfully, we are in fact engaging in adultury it doesnt just mean the physical act but the lustful thoughts.

Secondly, everytime the thought comes into your mind that you need to do the action. Pray. Praying is such a powerful action that can overcome anything. Praying is our communication with our creator. If the thought comes, train yourself to pray instead. It is not easy to give up our addictions, but we need to step outside the box and stop dwelling on the things our body craves. We need to discipline ourselves.

Thirdly, do not feel guilty for these actions you have done. Jesus died on the cross so that we wouldnt have to feel guilty, or ashamed. He gave us that right! Do not allow yourself to feel dirty. But admit your sins and ask for forgiveness and most importantly, sin no more.

You are in my prayers.
 
praying for you. Know that God can heal you. Ask for the intercession of Mother Mary, the angels and saints, esp. your good guardian angel.
 
Dear AppleCrisp

It seems like you have recognized the problem and wants to be honest with your girlfriend, and both are something that deserves to be applauded. You my fell rotten inside, but I think you have taken a step in the right direction.

I too am fighting with the same issue as you, and it is not an addiction that will go away without a fight. However A few things have helped me in my battles, perhaps they could help you as well. For one thing, remove every trace of porn from your computer. If you have to, you should reformat your hard drive and start from scratch. Also it might be beneficial if you remove the occasion for sin, by installing a good porn blocking program. More specifically, get one that enables you to make your girlfriend your accountability partner (meaning it will send her an email every time you try to visit a pornographic web page). By doing this and giving your girlfriend the password, you may also restore some of her confidence in you. A good program is safeeyes.

Other than that, you really should take advantage of the sacraments. Start by finding a good priest that you trust, and then go to confession as fast as you possibly can. In fact you should make it a regular habit to confess, and make sure you are as honest and clear about you sins as you possibly can. You mentioned that you were unsure about how to set up a meeting with a priest; the answer is that you simply pick up your phone and make an appointment. Remember that he is there to serve and guide you. The Eucharist is yet another blessing of our Lord; in it you will find the needed strength and consultation to continue on your journey. Go to daily mass whenever you can, and as a minimum you should fulfill your Sunday obligation. Also work at making it a habit to pray whenever you are tempted. A standardized prayer such as the Our Farther or the Hail Mary can do wonders.

You and your girlfriend are in my prayers.

God bless you
TL
 
Please see this website: trueknights.org
I have heard this spoken about on various Catholic shows and
it may be helpful to you.
On the positive side: you have come into the church and you
recognize your sin where many don’t even acknowledge that
it is a sin! Please delete the files on your computer as
suggested, the holy pictures around the house is another
great idea.

Remember that God knows your heart and knows that you
are trying to stop. I don’t know if you are familiar with
the Divine Mercy Chaplet and the story behind it, but I think
it may give you some peace.

God bless you and your girlfriend. You will be in my prayers too.
 
Applecrisp,
I personally identify with your struggles. I still struggle. I know how hard it truly is. God has graced you with His love and is ALWAYS ready and waiting for you to run back to Him. He loves you and wants to help you with your vices. I will be praying for you.
 
AppleCrisp2008 said:
I can’t stop crying and I just need your prayers to help me through this. I need more strength because I don’t know if I can do it alone. I feel like a worthless person who can’t do anything. I spent 56 days of not messing up, and ruined it all in an instant. Please pray for me. I really need God’s strength and mercy. I am so scared.
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Don’t be scared, don’t despair, don’t feel worthless, don’t give up. None of us are perfect – we all sin. Thankfully Jesus desires to shower His mercy upon us!! Please, read about the message of Divine Mercy (if you’re not familiar with it already). You can overcome this addiction – there is a lot of great advice in this thread. Jesus is always there, no matter how many times you sin – He will keep forgiving you, keep loving you.

I will remember you in my Rosary and chaplet of Divine Mercy today. God bless you! :hug1:

Edited to add the most important thing I forgot:

[SIGN]Welcome home!!![/SIGN]

Definitely go to confession and go often. It has helped me so much, and there’s nothing the priest hasn’t already heard. Jesus told St. Faustina that when we go to confession, the priest is but a screen for Him – He is the one there listening, comforting, giving words to live by, and absolving us of our sins. Do not fear – He wants to meet you there and after in Holy Communion. God bless!
 
I am praying for YOU, even as I type this! God has really given you a grace to see the places in your life that need improvement 🙂 Thank Him for that. Beyond that, I may have a little different perspective on your situation. I married a man who had struggled with this since high school. We dated fairly steadily through college and then married and started our family. I had asked him several times if porn was something he struggled with, or if he masturbated, and each time he lied quite convincingly to my face. The entire time that we dated and the whole time we’ve been married, he’s been doing this. So I naively felt that we were living a great comitted Catholic marraige. I was devastated when I found out that we were not. What I want you to remember about my story is that, although I found the pornography. lusting after others, and masturbation to be a form of unfaithfulness to me and it was very painful, what nearly took our marriage down - was the lying. I am more than willing to help/support him in overcoming his addictions…BUT only if the lyting stops. Relationships are built on trust. Your girlfriend has a right to know about ALL your vices (just as you have a right to know all hers) before you committ yourselves to each other for life. Think of it like this. In her mind, it is like you are being unfaithful to her in your mind. This causes cracks in your relationship. However if you’re lying to her, and she finds out (which she will) then you’ve betrayed her again. My opinion from being on the receiving end is that you should be honest with your girlfriend and ask for her prayers. Allso check out Steve Wood’s web site dads.org and sa.org. for some helpful resources. My husband tried to quit several times on his own and was only successful when he joined SA. My prayers are with you and with your girlfriend. You are on the right track. God Bless You.
 
Praying for you! God, please grant AppleCrist and his girlfriend strength to overcome. Bless their relationship and help them mirror God’s love to each other, and from each other.
 
J†M†J
I will pray for your intentions in my rosary tonight.

God Bless
In Jesus through Mary
Steve
 
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