Cuddling during Mass

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For goodness sakes. Can’t we --for one hour per week—look beyond the “human” and focus on the Divine. For this one hour --can’t we leave the “us” behind and look to Him. We are falling into such horizontal self–centeredness that even Mass is becoming nothing other than focus on each other.
 
Heaven forbid should we pay attention to the Mass itself and not what those around us are doing. Obviously, your focus isn’t where it should be.
Kathy
 
richwmiller said:
Feeling at mass is fine. But trying to make it the focal point is not. Such focused physical contact is focusing on the wrong person. Can you not watch with him for one hour?
It is hard top know where to draw the line however.
Holding hands during the whole mass and leaning on each other cannot be conducive to prayer.
We are not there to focus on each other but to focus on God.
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I find this quote much like the protestants who say that you cannot possible be loving God the right way when you focus on Mary. You nor anyone at church does not know what a couple is feeling and you nor anyone at church as a right to judge if someone else is worshiping God or not. That is only God’s job and we need to try to say way from taking his place.
 
Walking_Home said:
For goodness sakes. Can’t we --for one hour per week—look beyond the “human” and focus on the Divine. For this one hour --can’t we leave the “us” behind and look to Him. We are falling into such horizontal self–centeredness that even Mass is becoming nothing other than focus on each other.
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I think we also need to remember that God gave us an “us” for a reason. He wants “us” to lean on each other and to support each other. He wants “us” to worship together.
 
It’s one thing to give someone a quick hug, but that rubbing thing that couples do gives me the willies. A arm will go out to the other person’s back and the rubbing up and down begins. To me that’s not affection, but a sexual act. Save it for the car when you leave.
 
While reading this, I first thought it was a satire, but I have come to realize that you are serious. Marriage is about two people becoming one. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that one person putting there arm around their other half. or lay a head on a shoulder. I would have a problem if one person curled up in another’s lap. Pay more attention to how you are focusing on Mass and let other people focus on Mass in their way. The cuddling that you describe is not distracting to a normal person.
 
st_lucy said:
I find this quote much like the protestants who say that you cannot possible be loving God the right way when you focus on Mary. You nor anyone at church does not know what a couple is feeling and you nor anyone at church as a right to judge if someone else is worshiping God or not. That is only God’s job and we need to try to say way from taking his place.
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To begin with—no one is judging souls—actions are a different matter. During Mass our attention should be with connecting with God,—putting our “self” secondary to Him.
 
Walking_Home said:
To begin with—no one is judging souls—actions are a different matter. During Mass our attention should be with connecting with God,—putting our “self” secondary to Him.
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No one is arguing this, but when one states how another is worshipping is wrong, I think that that person is judging that person. You nor anyone else can possible know what is going on in another’s heart. When you are judging how another is worshipping than it is you who are putting “self” first. Remember the pharisee who while praying stated that he was a better worshipper than the women besides him.
 
i agree with the OP and i disagree. i agree for one fact, that the Mass is about focus on God and worshiping Him, but on the other hand, people have different reasons, for me i will momentarily put my head on my hubby’s shoulder because i tire very easily. sometimes, i need his arm because its hard to stand.

sometimes my hubby will put his arm around my back because it helps support me if i have to stand.i don’t always like to be the only one sitting during Mass, and i will try my hardest to stand so he offers physical support for me. we aren’t there to cuddle.

we are there to worship God.
 
st_lucy said:
No one is arguing this, but when one states how another is worshipping is wrong, I think that that person is judging that person. You nor anyone else can possible know what is going on in another’s heart. When you are judging how another is worshipping than it is you who are putting “self” first. Remember the pharisee who while praying stated that he was a better worshipper than the women besides him.
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This comes down to our actions in Mass. Our Mass goes beyond a mere “worship service”. If we really believe God becomes present for us in Mass—our entire self should be focused on meeting Him.
 
Marriage is a sacrament. Let’s not forget that, first of all.

Yes, there are times when I lean on my husband. He just came into the church this last Easter, and as we focus on God, we come closer as a couple. It’s not impossible to focus on the Lord while giving your spouse some sort of attention… there are days when I’m so stressed, exhausted, sad, etc (depending on what’s going on), that I (or he) just needs comfort. And when my husband shows me that comfort, I feel the love Jesus has for his church, if only a fraction.

It’s not something we do all the time, or for any extended period of time… and I don’t think it’s something that someone who doesn’t understand that marriage is a sacrament could understand (much as the OP doesn’t). But it doesn’t take away from our focus on the Eucharist.

We’re not focusing on each other. We’re looking towards the Eucharist together.
 
Walking_Home said:
This comes down to our actions in Mass. Our Mass goes beyond a mere “worship service”. If we really believe God becomes present for us in Mass—our entire self should be focused on meeting Him.
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did you see my post friend? what if someone like me who is disabled needs the physical support of her husband? an arm to help me stand, a shoulder so i can lean my head on him if iam tired, and an arm around my back because its hard to stand? that is not cuddling by a long shot.frank has to physically support me. sometimes i can’t even sit in my wheelchair because it is hard on my back to sit for a long period of time.
 
Good Morning. Hubby and I do hold hands more or less during Mass while we are sitting down, for two reasons, it just natural for us and two my hands are usually freezing because Father is hot blodded and it’s always cold in church, so at least it keeps one hand from freezing off.😃
 
Walking_Home said:
This comes down to our actions in Mass. Our Mass goes beyond a mere “worship service”. If we really believe God becomes present for us in Mass—our entire self should be focused on meeting Him.
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What makes you think because one couple is leaning on each other that their entire self is not focused on God? Do you have some kind of ability to read what is in their heart? I am not one who is to cuddle to my husband but once in a while he will reach over and rub on my back or put his arm around me. I really love that because it reminds me that God gave me this wonderful man to help me reach my one and only goal in life, instead of insisting that I can do it all on my own. And what a better place to be reminded of this fact but during the most holy mass.

I am sorry that you feel it a shame that a husband and wife would not need each other to lean on while worshipping God but I feel that God made man and woman for this single purpose and that is to guide each other to heaven.
 
TraditionalCath said:
did you see my post friend? what if someone like me who is disabled needs the physical support of her husband? an arm to help me stand, a shoulder so i can lean my head on him if iam tired, and an arm around my back because its hard to stand? that is not cuddling by a long shot.frank has to physically support me. sometimes i can’t even sit in my wheelchair because it is hard on my back to sit for a long period of time.
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Lady—if I saw that you “did” need the help of your husband—there is no problem with that. But what I have seen are couples who show no physical problems acting like they are at the movies.
 
Walking_Home said:
Lady—if I saw that you “did” need the help of your husband—there is no problem with that. But what I have seen are couples who show no physical problems acting like they are at the movies.
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walking home, please edit your post. i would truly appreciate it:)
 
Walking_Home said:
Lady—if I saw that you “did” need the help of your husband—there is no problem with that. But what I have seen are couples who show no physical problems acting like they are at the movies.
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There is a difference between “making out” and cuddling. If someone is “making out” then they need to be told to stop.

I have seen a couple do this “cuddling” at church. He and his wife just lost their 4 1/2 year old son. He was giving his wife the comfort she needed to get through the mass.It would not have been apartent to the average person if they had not known the couple and their grief.

i don’t think any of us have these super powers that let us know the intention of the actions of the people around us. You may not know that the person who can’t kneel or stand has some medical condition that is not obvious to everyone or the fact that a couple may be going through some martial problems and need each other as support. We need to give people the benefit of the doubt and stop jumping to these judgements.
 
Walking_Home said:
This comes down to our actions in Mass. Our Mass goes beyond a mere “worship service”. If we really believe God becomes present for us in Mass—our entire self should be focused on meeting Him.
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Tell me how can i put my entire focus on Jesus. Is there a correct way? Do you except people to just walk into church a turn off being Human. Are we just suppose to be robots and just go through the motions?

I am not going to lie. I get distracted sometimes by fathers homily. Does that mean I haven’t gotten anything out of mass or that i am not focused on Jesus? No it means i am human. The fact is I am at mass making an effort to receive my Lord because I KNOW i need him to get through the day.I would be nothing without him.
 
beckers said:
Tell me how can i put my entire focus on Jesus. Is there a correct way? Do you except people to just walk into church a turn off being Human. Are we just suppose to be robots and just go through the motions?

I am not going to lie. I get distracted sometimes by fathers homily. Does that mean I haven’t gotten anything out of mass or that i am not focused on Jesus? No it means i am human. The fact is I am at mass making an effort to receive my Lord because I KNOW i need him to get through the day.I would be nothing without him.
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Can we show respect. Showing respect is a sign that we focus on someone or something other than self. When we are in church for that one hour ----our very demeanor—should reflect every ounce of respect we can muster for our Lord.
 
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